Remnants of a Forgotten Dream
by FFPA
Summary: Slight crossover fic between Naruto and Bleach. A chess match to rival all chess matches has begun. It all starts with a new soul arriving in Seireitei with reiatsu rivaling even that of their strongest. And now a conspiracy has begun to unfold.
1. Soul Society, Shinobi Style

_Remnants of a Forgotten Dream_

_By: FastForward and Poisson d'Avril_

Summary: A chess match to rival all chess matches has begun. A new soul arrives at Seireitei with reiatsu rivaling even that of their strongest. When forces appear to use this person for their own means, those closest to him must help keep him safe, or have him disappear altogether.

Uzumaki Naruto was a shinobi brought to Seireitei for use in a devious scheme, helped and befriended by Hitsugaya Toushiro. Due to his reiatsu, he moves up in the ranks at a remarkable speed until one fateful encounter with Kurosaki Ichigo leads him to lose his power altogether, finally explaining the reason for Ichigo's amazing reiatsu. It doesn't belong to him. It was stolen from another. The thing is … Ichigo has his own story just waiting to be told.

Disclaimer: We own nothing, therefore you cannot sue us. So there.

Rating: T, with some cuss words … hn, we don't use they excessively, but we do have them. Read at your own risk.

Warning: Insanity may follow. ;P

Chapter One - Soul Society, Shinobi Style

It was bound to happen. He knew it would inevitably come down to this, but he hadn't expected it to be so soon. Running and running from Akatsuki had, in the end, gotten him nowhere. He had prepared for this very moment countless times with Jiraiya and Kakashi, but it still wasn't enough. They had caught up to him in no time. His techniques, his power—they weren't enough to go up against such a strong enemy. And now, he found himself captured, defeated and alone. Although Naruto realized his situation, he couldn't bring himself to care. He had failed to protect his team, that's what hurt the most. It had started out as a simple back-up mission to support Shikamaru, but it had turned out horribly wrong. The last thing he remembered before falling unconscious was Ino's scream and Sakura's shout of outrage.

Regaining consciousness with a throbbing temple wasn't the most pleasant experience, but he figured it was nothing compared to the pain that was about to be inflicted on him by the entire Akatsuki. Despite that, he stared blankly up at the rocky ceiling of the seemingly underground lair. If there was one thing he could do before he died, it would be to accept his death for what it was and what it would bring. Peace? Destruction? He really couldn't say what would happen once the bijuu was removed, but the least he could do was pass with no regrets and maybe, someday, he'd get that second chance to right any of his previous wrongs. It was a small hope, but it brought comfort to him.

"Let's begin."

He assumed it was the leader who gave the order, though he could hardly bring himself to look. Even when he felt intense pain spread throughout his entire body as if ripping him apart, his gaze did not waver. Slowly, blue eyes dulled and finally closed with one last breath, the feeling of something missing being his final memory before the world went dark for a second time.

00000

He could hear a roaring fire in the distance, and the sounds of screams. A groan escaped him and he tried to sit up, immediately falling back down and hitting the ground hard. The commotion seemed far off, but he wasn't sure. Naruto, regaining his senses, wondered where he had landed himself now. This couldn't possibly be heaven, could it?

A boy who couldn't be any older than Naruto dodged a burning rafter as it split and fell to the ground. He ducked out of the way so it wouldn't fall on him, and then jumped over it as the laughter of the crazy men who had lit the place on fire echoed behind him. He stumbled and almost fell, but regained his balance enough to turn and see what he had tripped over. A human form.

"Oi!" He kneeled down and slapped the cheek of the semi-conscious form. "Oi, wake up!" He grabbed the boy's arm and tugged. "Come on, don't lie in the middle of the street; it's dangerous!" He grunted slightly as he pulled the blond to his feet.

Naruto blinked a few times at the stranger who had appeared. "Er… where the hell am I? And who the hell are you?" He glanced around him with more than a little bewilderment. "And what is going on here?" He was thankful for the support but things were getting more confusing by the minute. Not to mention, why was he in a yukata—of all things—that looked like a good, strong wind could whisk it away?

"What do you mean what's going on? There a fire, obviously, idiot!" the boy hollered back as he pulled Naruto along, hurrying around a corner and continuing to run. "You're in District 80 of Rukongai. And right now, we need to get as far away from here as possible." He jumped over another fallen form, wincing. He would've stopped to help, but he had enough to deal with. Without a doubt, Naruto was a new arrival.

"How come?" Naruto asked, exasperated. "And you're walking too fast." He was used to running and leaping through trees, but for some reason, his body wasn't cooperating as swiftly as it once had. Death really did things to the body, he supposed, and then left his clouded thoughts at that. He was having a pretty difficult time just concentrating on what was happening; he didn't need to distract himself.

"Because the adults in this district are crazy, that's why," he grumbled as he threw open a door that was practically falling of its hinges. He rushed inside and pulled Naruto in as well, closing the door and breathing hard as he peeked out the cracks. As long as the house didn't catch fire, they could escape for the moment. He narrowed his eyes as he saw someone walk by with a sword, blood dripping off the blade. He tensed, but the person continued walking, and he let out an almost inaudible breath of relief. They were safe… for now.

Naruto's eyes widened when he saw the blood-stained sword. He tensed as well and looked to the boy beside him for the answers he desperately wanted know. "Wh – who are you?" He settled on that simple question for now. His mind was still in shock and his body was tired from the short jog; he didn't think he had the energy to exhaust himself with mere inquires. "I don't—get what's going on. I thought… I was killed. But, this can't be heaven. Hell, this can't be hell!"

The boy slammed his hand on Naruto's mouth as his heart jack-hammered in his throat. "Shush," he hissed as he waited for the figure to disappear. He didn't want to risk being caught. Once he was sure they were safe, he sighed and removed his hand, turning to Naruto. "You're not too bright, are you?" he grumbled out. "You're in Soul Society. This is where souls go once they've detached from their bodies," he said by way of explanation as he sank to the ground and reached into his old, worn yukata, pulling out a small bread roll and biting into it.

"Soul… Society? How did I get here, though? Detached from my body? I remember… missing something, and then it was gone… and then so was I." He looked over at the platinum blond boy munching on his bread, wondering if any of his questions would really be answered. He didn't expect too much at the moment. He just wanted to sleep. A sigh passed through his lips and he leaned his head back against the wall. "What's going to happen now?"

The other boy chewed his bread slowly as he regarded the new arrival, contemplating how much he should tell him and how much he should let the other find out for himself. After all, _he _hadn't had anyone telling him how Soul Society worked. He decided to be nice and swallowed what was in his mouth before replying. He had manners, after all.

"Well, if you're in Soul Society, obviously, you _died_," he informed dryly, as if it were the most logical thing ever—which it was. "So that answers how you got here. Detaching from your body is when your soul breaks off from your human body; in other words, you _die_." He ran a hand through his spiky hair. "And as for what's going to happen now, I don't know. Figure it out yourself. I just saved you because I felt like it." He took another bite from his bread; all that talking was impeding on his mealtime.

Letting out a huff, Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and considered his newest unwanted companion. "Geez, it's not enough to have a Sasuke-teme in life, I have to get one in death, too! Is the world made up of freakin' bastards like this? Do you have to be so cruel to someone who's just _died_, for god's sake? Did I mention you're a bastard?"

"Twice." The boy bit into his bread again. "Or, if you count the Sasuke-_teme_, then three times. And life hasn't been all that great for me, either, you know?" He frowned. "Death… you know what I mean." He sighed. "It's just how things are here. If you're in this district, it's not going to get better. Might as well get used to 'bastards' because we're better than the other people—_idiot_," he added for good measure.

A muscle twitched above his eye. "Don't call me an idiot, bastard. You never did answer the first question I asked." He turned his head to the side to watch a spider crawl along the floor, the building probably abandoned if the thick layer of dust was anything to go by. "Do all souls need food? Because I'm starving, too, you know. You could offer me some, you pig." He gave the boy his best impressionable puppy dog-like eyes for effect, staring at him as if begging for scraps.

The bread froze halfway to the boy's mouth as he stared at Naruto before lowering it slightly. "You're… hungry?" He had to admit, that was a shocker. "You mean, you're _actually_ hungry? You need food?" It was almost unfathomable. This—this _idiot_ needed food? That wasn't possible!

"What's so shocking? I'm hungry, therefore I think I'll take some of this." He reached over and snapped off the bottom section of the bread, biting into it without a care. "You're going to keep using excuses so you don't have to tell me your name, aren't you?"

"Hey!" the boy hollered. "I needed that damn food!" He stood up, clenching his fists. "It's not like you need as much as me! And why are you calling me on not having given my name when you haven't either? Where did you learn your manners, you dumbass? You don't just snap off the end of someone's food and then demand to know their name! I understand why _you_ belong in this district, though I continue to wonder what _I'm _doing here!"

Naruto stood up, too, feeling threatened. He wiped the crumbs from his mouth, sheepishly admitting to himself that maybe stealing food hadn't been the smartest move. "Don't start yelling at me all of a sudden!" he shouted right back, growling slightly as he stared at the boy. "I don't understand anything that's happening! If you had told me why you needed the food, I wouldn't have touched it! It's your damn fault, bastard! Why did you say I don't need as much as you, anyway? Where do you get off saying that? I just got here! I want to know what the hell you meant by half the things you said! And don't bitch at me about manners, buddy! I'll soc you one before you start preaching that shit!"

"Not everyone here needs food." The boy glared. "Only those with high spiritual energy need food which is _why _when I _find _food I like to _eat _it. You should've stolen your own if you needed it! When you get hungry, you're on your own because barely anyone needs food here. Those who do live in Seireitei." He crossed his arms, annoyed, scowling. "And I knew less than you did when I got here, and I managed just fine. You're just a spoiled brat who needs to learn that things are different now that you're in Soul Society." He sniffed. "Besides, how was I meant to tell you not to stuff your face when you ripped off the end of my bread and shoved it into your mouth? When did I have _time _to protest?" he asked dryly.

Naruto grumbled something under his breath and clenched his hands into fists forcefully. "Shut the fuck up, kid. You don't know anything about me, and the last thing I need is your help. I would have been just fine if you had left me where I was! I could have gathered information on this stupid place on my fucking own, but you went and helped me! I just thought a person should live through their obligations! And so you should have just left me alone if you weren't going to help me! Bastard!" He spun on his heel and faced the opposite wall, still mumbling under his breath about bastard brats who need to have the stick removed from their asses.

"I could tell you were doing _real _well lying on the ground, about to be trampled on and covered with wooden beams engulfed in flames. Next time, I'll let you die all over again, how does that sound?" The boy examined the last bit of bread in his hand and sighed. "Here, take it," he grumbled, holding it out to Naruto who had turned back around. "Hurry up, before I change my mind."

"You're kidding, right? You were just shouting at me… and now you're offering me food? Damn, I knew it. You're just like Sasuke-teme." He glared slightly at the offered bit of bread, but his stomach grumbling in protest decided for him just what it wanted. "Well, thanks." He snatched the bread quickly before the boy actually did change his mind and nibbled on it, his manners a bit more civil to appease the other boy.

"So, I'm guessing you're a recently deceased." The boy leaned back against the wall before changing his mind when the wood creaked ominously. He settled for just standing. "What's you're name, anyway? Since I saved your life, and you keep calling me a bastard, seems only fitting you should tell me your name first."

"Oh, yeah, that. I'm Uzumaki Naruto." He finished off the bread, dusted off his palms, and then offered the boy a hand to shake. "So, what's yours, oh mysterious bastard one?"

The boy just blinked, clearly not amused. "Hitsugaya Toushiro. I've been living here about eight years." He shook Naruto's hand briefly before letting it go and looking around. "It seems things have quieted down outside. I should head back to my other shelter. It's safer, not so close to all the fires."

"Where's that?" Naruto asked off-handedly, not really caring either way. He wasn't going to go with some stranger just because they happened to 'save' his life. He would just have to make do and find his own shelter. "And you're leaving now?"

The boy, Toushiro, turned to Naruto. "Somewhere _safer_, like I _just_ said." He rolled his eyes. "You're not too good with listening, are you?" He opened the door. "And yes, I'm leaving now." He paused. "Don't follow me," he added, glaring pointedly at Naruto.

Raising an eyebrow, Naruto stared at Toushiro like he had just accused him of something foolish. "Excuse me; did I say I was going to follow you? I think I'm just fine here, you bastard."

"Excuse me? Oh, you _do_ have manners. Fancy that." Toushiro turned and left the small, decrepit house, slamming the door behind him for effect. It was ruined by the door falling to the ground in a pile of rotting wood. He should've known better, but he didn't care.

Honestly, it really didn't matter whether the blond, Naruto, followed him or not. He was just sick of hearing the other complain. If he followed _silently_—as doubtful as that was—then he wouldn't really mind. _Who am I kidding? _He groaned and rubbed his face. _He's going to follow, and follow **loudly**. Great… just great …_

Waiting until Toushiro's footsteps were well down the street outside, he snuck out of the abandoned building and kept to the shadows, making sure to put a good distance between him and the person he was following—only out of curiosity, of course. Being a ninja in his previous life did come in handy. At least he knew the basics of keeping quiet, though he didn't know how long he could keep _that _up. It just wasn't in his nature.

Toushiro stopped at the end of the street before turning and scanning the area. He couldn't hear Naruto, or see him. _Weird, I guess he didn't follow me after all. Not what I would've expected from such an idiot._ He turned back and continued walking, heading further into the maze of District 80 until he reached another abandoned house that wasn't in quite as bad a condition as the others. He creaked open the door and stepped inside, stretching slightly before rubbing his stomach, which growled loudly. He was still hungry.

Pausing in his quick but silent footsteps, Naruto watched Toushiro enter the house, thinking of reasons why he would go in there. It didn't look any better than some of the other houses they had passed, so why had he stopped? Was this that safe place the boy was talking about? Sure, it was far enough away from the mayhem and fire, but in all honesty, Naruto doubted it could be. Even idiots had their moments, and the place really didn't look all that safe.

Toushiro sighed as he fell back onto an old, worn out mattress, staring at the ceiling as he rubbed his aching belly. He was considering moving up in the districts the following day, but he didn't know if his roommate would be up for it.

He had met another girl who was just like him a while back; one who needed food. Her name was Hinamori Momo. She was nice, and she seemed to care a lot about him, but he didn't know if she'd be able to move out of District 80. It was tough moving up the line, and he knew it would take its toll on her. If only he had more help, an easier way to keep her safe.

When the boy had yet to exit the house that Naruto had been staring at for the past five minutes, he decided enough was enough. That, and his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Stepping out of the shadows, he made his way quietly to the front door of the building and cracked it open slightly to see where Toushiro currently occupied the room. _Easy as pie_, he thought, smiling as he saw the boy barely paying any attention to his surroundings. And that's when something unexpected happened. His ankle gave out on him and he ended up stumbling into the room like a weak little girl who had just seen her crush. Naruto was beyond embarrassed. He was spread-eagle on the floor, looking for the entire world like the idiot people claimed he was.

Toushiro sat bolt upright at the loud sound and his eyes fixed on the blond lying in front of him, turning beet red. The platinum haired boy himself just stared wide-eyed. _There is **no** way he got all the way in here without me knowing!_ He thought to himself, absolutely horrified. There was no way the other had escaped detection for _this _long! He was loud, and obviously very clumsy, so how had he missed him?

"Oh, God, I've hit a new low." Toushiro buried his face in his hands. "I can't even tell when idiots are following me anymore. What am I going to do with myself? I can't sink any lower. I may as well move to the last district and hope I don't trip on my own two feet." He let out a groan.

"You think _you've_ hit a low? I'm a ninja. Ninjas _don't _have weak ankles. What the hell is going on with my body?" Naruto looked up from his sprawled position and then hit his head repeatedly against the hard wood floor. "Man, this sucks. I just wanted to spy on you, not end up here." He glared at a crack he found right under his nose. "We've _both _reached new lows, you bastard."

"Hey, hey, don't compare my low to yours!" Toushiro insisted, pointing his index finger at Naruto. "Being outwitted by a fool like you _clearly _requires me to have hit a lower low than you! If I sank any lower, I would _be _you! This is horrendous! I don't even know what I should do to rectify this! I don't care what's wrong with your damn ankles, what about my new non-existent pride? _You _snuck up on _me_!"

"What the _hell_? I just told you my body's failing me, and you're being a bastard and getting bitchy about your _pride_. Like it ever existed in the first place!" He pushed himself back up, standing properly and dusting off his yukata with disgust. "I hate you, I hate this place, I just want to sleep somewhere! Just curl up in a corner and die! I'd rather die again than be here with you! _Bastard_!" He clenched his hands tightly at his sides, fists shaking slightly—from what, he didn't know.

"You want to die again? That can be arranged!" Toushiro stood up angrily, his own yukata hanging haphazardly on his slim frame. The material had slipped off his right shoulder as he glared hatefully at the blond ninja. "I can help end your suffering, but it won't bring my damn pride back! For someone like _you _to sneak up on _me_! _You_! Gah, come on! At least disposing of you will begin to heal my wounded pride." The boy held up his fists.

Naruto titled his head a bit. "You have to be kidding me. I mean, you just challenged me… the best ninja in my village. I'll kill you before you even lay a hand on me. So, come on." He raised his own fists, dropping easily into his usual fighting stance, but it felt… off, for some reason.

Laughter escaped Toushiro. "Are you kidding me? I've been here _eight years_. I know how to control my spirit body better than you, which is why you _tripped, _oh best ninja of your village." He shook his head. "What, how many people were there in your village? Two? Three? There's no way you were the best in a _larger _village. Don't flatter yourself." He didn't even bother getting into a fighting stance. He would be able to avoid Naruto's blows easily.

Letting out a growl of rage, he lunged for Toushiro immediately, directing a fist toward the boy's stomach right off the bat. It was blocked, causing Naruto to loose balance and shift slightly so when he fell he could at least take the other down with him, grabbing Toushiro's legs and yanking the boy to the floor none too gently.

Toushiro cried out as his head connected painfully into the wooden floor and then grunted, kicking the other away and getting back to his feet quickly. He loomed over Naruto and then slammed his foot into the blond's face, pressing it into the floor. "You should choose your fights more wisely, _Naruto_," he snapped. "Your body hasn't adjusted to this world yet, and you think you can fight someone like me? I've been here so long that even if I left for two years and came back my body wouldn't be affected."

"You son of a—" He cut himself off and punched Toushiro's leg with a bit more force than originally intended. At least it allowed him the ability to move more freely and get back up on his feet to face the other boy again. "You must think highly of yourself, too, you prideless bastard." He smirked, wiped the dirt from his face, and straightened into a fighting stance once more. "That was just a warm-up. Let's go."

"A warm-up?" Toushiro rolled his eyes. "Please, it hurts to watch you. You're going to end up with your face against the ground again. If you want to die again, like you said, just stand still and I'll make it—well, not quick and painless, but you know, I'll try and limit the suffering." He got into his own stance, feeling slightly awkward. He wasn't all that good with hand-to-hand combat, to be honest. He preferred to have a weapon.

"You call that a fighting stance? Ha. It makes me sick just looking at it. There are so many openings," Naruto stated with a confidence he really didn't feel at the moment, but he couldn't let the boy get away with bad mouthing him. If it came down to it, he'd just keep punching until he hit him at least once. Just once and he would be happy. "Well, are you coming? I don't have all day, bastard."

"Why do I have to waste my time lunging at you?" insisted Toushiro. "You're the one who'll fall flat on your face if you move, so I'm going to stand here and wait for you to hit the ground again because your 'ankles are weak' or whatever." He grinned. "Come on, Naruto. _I _haven't got all day. I'd like to get more food before moving up one district. You're kind of limiting the time before nightfall."

"Don't. Get. Cocky." He narrowed his eyes, concentrating all his effort into making his limbs cooperate properly this time. "You say you don't have all day. Fine. I'll pound you into the ground." He lunged just like his opening attack before, but this time, with the strength he lacked previously, he feinted to the right and then threw a kick into one of Toushiro's blind spots on the left.

The blow barely hit the other boy, but it still clipped him, causing him to stumble slightly to regain his balance. He hurriedly righted himself and turned back to Naruto, swinging his fist toward the center of the blond's abdomen. Because the other's reflexes were still slow, even if he managed to avoid it, it would still hit him in the side at the very least. It was all Toushiro needed right now. He just required Naruto back on the ground so he could kick him.

Naruto took the punch square in the gut, causing him to double-over, though he did not fall. He straightened himself bit by bit, not allowing himself to show weakness in front of such an opponent as Toushiro. He coughed, winded from everything he had recently been doing, but refusing to give up. "That… all… you got, bastard?"

"Tch." Toushiro frowned. _Damn, I was hoping that would take him down, _he thought as he shifted and went to punch the blond again. He was surprisingly tough for someone who had just entered Soul Society, and the other's body was starting to adapt much faster than Toushiro's had. He didn't understand. When he had arrived at Soul Society, it had taken him nearly two months to move properly, and here this kid was, adapting at almost three times the speed as everyone else. _What the hell is he?_

Naruto coughed one last time and then fixed his posture completely, dropping his arms back to his sides instead of using them as a protective shield around his stomach. He glared at Toushiro spitefully after avoiding the oncoming punch, egging the boy on. "Well, what are you waiting for? Another cheap shot?"

"I don't need to hear this from you!" Toushiro insisted angrily. "You're like a little kid! So annoying!" He let out an angered cry as he lunged at Naruto, slamming into his stomach and sending him crashing to the ground, wrestling with him when the other tried to scramble free. "You're so stupid! What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem, you bastard brat! You started this stupid fist fight!" Naruto growled back just as angrily, struggling to break free from the white-haired boy. He lashed out with his legs, even bucking to make Toushiro get off him. "Get the hell away!" He felt more than saw the punch directed at his face, his cheek stinging with the impact. "Ouch! Another damn cheap shot!" He continued to strike out at the other, trying his best to free himself. "And you call me an idiot! At least I know how to _fight_, which is obvious you know nothing!"

"I know how to fight!" Toushiro hollered. "I just need a weapon! Unlike _you_, I don't resort to _barbarianism_!" Toushiro hit him in the face again before driving another fist into the blond's stomach. He was getting tired, and he wasn't even getting hit. _How much energy does this guy **have**? And how high is his damn pain threshold? Why won't he just **pass out** or something?_ He was getting frustrated, by now.

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Hinamori Momo was surprised to hear noises coming from the shelter Toushiro had made for them both. She approached the building cautiously, shifting the small basket of various fruits under her arm so she had at least had one free hand. When she pulled open the door to the house, the last thing she expected to see was her white-haired friend punching another blond boy without pause. The only thing she considered the person could be was an intruder. Fear washed over her. She dropped the basket she carried and hurried into the building, hastily making her way to Toushiro's side. "W-What's going on, Hitsugaya-kun?"

Toushiro looked up, pausing in his punching. "Hinamori." He pulled away from Naruto. "It's nothing. He was just—he followed me home, and he's annoying. He just arrived at Soul Society, his name is Naruto." Toushiro crossed his arms, irritated. "He might be like us, because he stole some of my bread, but I don't think it'd be safe to keep him with us. He's loud and brash, and _very _annoying." He paused. "And dangerous," he added in, just to help his case. He really didn't like the vibes he got from Naruto. He couldn't explain what they were, but he just… didn't like them.

Momo looked from the battered blond boy to her friend and then back to the intruder, wondering what was truly going on. Admittedly, she was wary of any new arrivals since their actions were unpredictable after learning they were dead, but that was no reason to kick them out on the streets. "You punched him because… he followed you, Hitsugaya-kun? But he's like us… maybe… maybe we could help him?" She glanced up at Toushiro for a moment before directing her gaze to her feet. "It's just a thought… but with three of us… wouldn't it be easier to protect each other?"

From the floor, Naruto listened in silence, panting and trying to regain his breath. That brat sure was persistent, if nothing else. Even now, he was making it clear he wanted Naruto nowhere near him. What, did his forehead read 'avoid at any costs'? And then, the girl who had just appeared, what was she thinking in asking the brat to reconsider? Didn't she understand they wouldn't get along no matter the circumstances? Naruto sighed, tilting his head away from the talking duo. That girl, strangely enough, reminded him of Hinata. So, in a way, he felt he could at least trust her. Unlike the white-haired jerk, who was just a bastard…

Toushiro opened his mouth to object, but then snapped it shut with a sigh. Hinamori wanted to trust him—but he could be dangerous! After all, he really _was _unpredictable… Toushiro sighed again. He supposed he shouldn't be that much of a jerk. Naruto _had _just died. Considering that, he was taking his death pretty well. Much better than Toushiro had, at any rate. And what the girl had said was true. With three of them, it would be easier to gather food and protect one another. Plus, since he and Momo would be trying to go up to the other districts, it would be nice knowing someone like Naruto had his back. Especially since the other didn't seem to know when to stay down. He was pretty good at fighting, too, and Toushiro suspected he would be fantastic once he got used to his spirit body.

With another explosive sigh, he nodded. "Fine, he can stay, but he makes one wrong move and he's out of here."

Smiling in appreciation of her friend's answer, she walked over to Naruto and offered him a hand up. "Well, there you have it," Momo said softly. "Welcome, Naruto-kun, to Rukongai." She looked away shyly as the blond accepted her hand and pulled himself up. "I'm Hinamori Momo, by the way." Suddenly her eyes widened, startling Naruto who thought he might have done something wrong already. "Oh, I almost forgot about the…" She dropped his hand and rushed to the doorway to retrieve the fruit she had brought back home with her.

"Er… is she always like that?" Naruto questioned Toushiro, scratching the back of his neck. "She reminds me a lot of a certain someone I met a while back… when I was alive, that is." He chuckled. "I guess if this is the afterlife, it isn't so bad. Not boring at all like I thought it would be."

Toushiro rolled his eyes. "Yes, she's always like that." He headed for the door to help Momo pick up the rest of the fruits. "I told you that you didn't have to get any food, Hinamori. I got us some bread, but then _someone _stole half of it." He turned his head to glare at Naruto. "I was going to save some for you, but he got greedy. Sorry." He put the fruits he had gathered back into the basket and waited for his friend to stand before following suit.

"Forgive me." Naruto held up his hands defensively. "From now on I won't touch your food, all right?" He huffed and crossed his arms. "Sheesh, you're so mean, Hitsugaya."

Momo giggled as she stood back up, carrying the basket into the house and shutting the door. "Well, you can have some of this then, Naruto-kun. I don't mind. I usually eat less than Hitsugaya-kun, anyway."

"What, are you saying I eat too much?" Toushiro was embarrassed, poking at his stomach. "Sorry, it's just—I get _so _hungry, and I don't even know why. I'm sorry, Hinamori." He smiled sheepishly at Momo. "How about you, Naruto? Are you still really hungry? Cause if so, you must be like me." Toushiro leaned back against the door, knowing at least that this one was certainly sturdier than the one in the other house.

Naruto flushed under Momo's inquisitive stare at the question. Now that Toushiro mentioned it, he still was rather hungry, but he wasn't going to steal any more food even if Momo had insisted. Being scolded once was plenty for him. "Yeah, sort of. But… I'll go look for my own. I think there's only enough for the two of you."

"It's fine. Hitsugaya-kun can stand to loose a few pounds, he _is _starting to get a bit chubby," she teased her friend, setting the basket on a shaky table that looked like it could barely support the weight. "Here." She tossed the resistant blond an apple and then threw a plum toward Toushiro. "And there you go, too."

"Hinamori," Toushiro said, embarrassed, as he caught the plum. "I'm not _that _chubby. I just—I must have more spiritual energy, is all," he muttered as he took a bite. "And don't worry about eating our food, you'll just have to make sure you pull your weight, too." Toushiro shrugged noncommittally.

His head then snapped to the side as he heard noises outside. He ducked and motioned for the other two to do so, as well. He pressed his back against the wall beside the door, narrowing his eyes as he listened. He hoped whoever was out there was a friend, or at the very least, not someone dangerous.

Naruto took his cue from Toushiro, pulling Momo with him to the other side of the door so they could look outside through the cracks and still remain hidden from whoever it was that had arrived. He looked over at Toushiro, hoping that maybe he knew the person out there. Loosening his grip on Momo's arm, he glanced down at her, worried since she seemed to be shaking. She was frightened? That didn't bode well with Naruto.

Toushiro tensed as the door knob turned and the door creaked open. All he needed to see was the beefy build of the man on the other side and he knew the person was bad news. He let out a short, angry cry and lunged, knowing there was no way they would be able to hide now that the door was open.

The man laughed and knocked Toushiro away easily with one hand, slamming him into the opposite wall. The boy cried out as his head struck the wall and he fell to the ground. He grunted as he tried to stand once more but was kicked in the face, instead. Pain exploded across his cheekbone and he felt blood trickling down the side of his face from near his hairline.

"What have we got here?" The man grinned as he turned around and scanned the area. His eyes fell on the barely concealed forms of Naruto and Momo on the other side of the door, which was still ajar. "Hey there, pretty lady, how about coming with me?" His grin became more lecherous as he approached the dark haired girl and Naruto.

"Run!" Toushiro insisted as he struggled to his feet, unable to see straight. Dammit, if he had some kind of weapon, this wouldn't even be a problem!

Ignoring Toushiro's shout, Naruto stood in front of Momo protectively. If the boy wanted him to pull his weight from now on, he would start now. He wasn't going to run away with her and just leave the other behind. Instead, he would protect them both, even if he had to die _again_. "Momo," he whispered, staring at the hulking figure calling out to the girl behind him. The man's language was disgustingly crude. "I'll make an opening. In that moment, take Hitsugaya and run. Got it?" He turned his head just enough to see her nod in understanding. "Good."

"Come on, sweetheart, let's go." The man licked his lips as he got closer, his arm reaching out to knock Naruto aside.

"Fool, run!" Toushiro shouted. He knew Naruto wasn't too bad at fighting, but he was still new to Soul Society, he couldn't have mastered how to move yet! And Momo—God, why wasn't she trying to get away? They were both going to be useless while that man went off with Momo one way or another. _No, no, **no**! _Toushiro thought as he stumbled forward, rubbing the blood out of his eyes.

The man just laughed as he reached out, grabbing the front of Naruto's yukata and preparing to throw him away.

Naruto didn't even flinch, driving a fist into the man's pudgy stomach. The man, caught off guard, let go of Naruto's yukata. Mistake number one for the trespasser who dared barrage in and act like he owned the place. He knew his height hardly compared to the behemoth before him, but all he needed to do was create an opening for the other two and then he could escape himself. So, with that idea in mind, he crouched and jumped at the man, fist pulled back ready to slam into the face of the intruder.

The man let out a grunt as the wind was knocked out of him and then cried out as a fist slammed into his face, causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground, landing hard.

Toushiro just stared, stunned. Naruto was… winning. Sure, he'd known the other was decent at hand-to-hand, but _this _good? He'd obviously been holding back when they had fought, because the blond was showing strength and agility and—_damn_, Toushiro was jealous. This guy, this _idiot_, was better at protecting Momo than _he _was. _Ow, my pride_, he pouted slightly.

Naruto didn't stop in his assault, relentlessly knocking the man upside the head with a swift kick. And then another. And another. It was almost too easy. But as they say, when giants fall, they fall hard. He felt Momo walk around the scene and over to Toushiro, but he paid no attention, focusing solely on maiming the man who had dared to come in and try to harm them. The guy deserved it.

"Are you all right, Hitsugaya-kun?" Momo asked worriedly, tentatively touching the wound on Toushiro's head.

"I'm fine. I think you should be more worried about him." He motioned in Naruto's direction. "And I'm not talking about Naruto…"

The man grunted as he finally lost consciousness, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth and his eyes rolling back in their sockets. He barely understood what had just happened as he fell into oblivion.

Toushiro stared, taken aback, as Naruto continued to kick the man. _He's that powerful? Who **was** he when he was alive? _He thought to himself as he watched the blond. Maybe he really was the strongest ninja in his village, and maybe being stupid was all for show.

Done with attacking the man, having lost interest now that he realized he was unconscious, Naruto turned to the other two watching him, grinning. "Well, how's that? Good, right? Yeah, told you I was the top ninja in my village." He started walking forward to inspect Toushiro's wound himself, if only to laugh in the boy's face in the process, but something tripped him up and he ended up sprawled out on the floor once again. "Ah, I wondered what happened to my apple," he said, voice a bit weak as he turned to see what he'd stumbled on. He must have dropped it without noticing when he had grabbed Momo's arm. "Hey, look at all the pretty stars." His grin widened and he ended up fainting right there from exhaustion.

Momo could only stare in incredulity at the boy passed out on the floor. _What a guy…_

Toushiro blinked before sighing and covering his face with his hands. _Or he's just an idiot. I can't believe I was **praising **him._ He shook his head.

"What should we do with him, Hinamori?" he asked as he headed toward the fallen blond. "And we should probably leave. This guy will wake up and _not_ be happy." He bent down beside Naruto and pulled him up into a sitting position before grunting and hauling him to his feet. "Can you get the food? It's time to leave. We can try and get into the 79th District. Might as well, since we can't hang around here anymore."

Nodding, Momo collected the food and followed her friend out into the street. "Are you sure, though? We could just camp somewhere for the night and try in the morning…" she suggested lightly, the slumped form of Naruto concerning her just as much as Toushiro's head wound. She didn't want anything bad to happen to the two in their current states.

Toushiro grunted again as he shifted his hold on Naruto. "I guess you're right. No point in going in there like this, we'll be asking to be hurt." He looked around the abandoned area. "We need to find a new shelter, then. We should head back towards the border to District 81. No one lives down there, it'll be safer for us." He turned and started walking in another direction. His stomach growled loudly, but he ignored it as he continued to drag Naruto. _He's kind of heavy_, he thought to himself with a sigh. This wasn't how he had planned on spending his day.

Walking alongside her friend, Momo beamed, happy to have Toushiro as a companion. He always seemed to make the most logical choices, and he even protected her from the dangers that the lower districts had to offer. It would be an hour and a half walk to the border, she remembered, glancing over at Toushiro with a hint of worry. Would he be able to carry Naruto that far for so long? She didn't know, but it wasn't like they had any other choice besides dumping the blond somewhere and leaving him to his own devices. And she definitely wasn't about to do that.

Toushiro shifted for a second time, trying to even out the blond's weight. "Wait." He stopped, hoping Momo would, too. He put Naruto down and rolled his shoulders before bending down and maneuvering Naruto onto his back so that he was carrying him piggy-back style. He stood with a small grunt and stumbled slightly under the other's weight. It wasn't that Naruto was _huge_ or anything, but Toushiro was a little person.

"Okay, let's go." He tightened his hold on Naruto's legs as he stayed leaning forward so the blond wouldn't slide off backwards. They got to the end of the street and Toushiro almost walked into someone who'd just rounded the corner. "Shit!" He looked up, panicked. Black robes. Oh God, it was a Shinigami.

He looked down at Toushiro, expressionless, as the younger boy looked up at him with wide eyes. He then looked at the unconscious Naruto before looking at Momo, too. He frowned and reached down.

Alarmed, thinking the Shinigami was reaching for his sword, Toushiro stumbled backwards, almost losing his hold on Naruto. He started to fall when the Shinigami reached out and grabbed his arm, straightening him and keeping him on his feet as the other hand brought a device closer to the boy. Toushiro didn't move as the Shinigami inspected the piece of equipment in his hand.

Momo, as well, was surprised at the sudden appearance of a Shinigami. He was much taller than any of them, looming over Toushiro and the unconscious blond. When he pulled out some kind of device and pointed it at the two, she was even more horrified. "H-Hey! What are you doing?" she demanded, steadying her voice so she at least didn't sound weak to the black-robed death god. She wasn't going to stand for having her friends' lives in jeopardy.

"Oi, relax!" the Shinigami snapped. "Is he screaming in agony yet? No. So calm down." He hit a button on the side and watched as the bar on the gadget rose. It did so slowly at first, and then began to raise much, much faster until it hit the top, and threatened to try and go higher. He looked at Toushiro before pulling it back and staring at it. _Interesting… _He turned it off and leaned in closer to hold it near Naruto. "Don't move," he ordered the platinum haired boy who still had Naruto in his grasp. Toushiro obeyed as the Shinigami turned the device back on. This time, it didn't start out slowly. The bar went to the top at rapid-speed before the contraption broke from the overload.

He brought the device back in front of himself with a frown before shrugging and tossing it over his shoulder, reaching into his robes and pulling out another, motioning for the dark haired girl to come closer. The fact that Naruto had broken his other device didn't seem to bother him. In fact, he was actually quite pleased. The first boy's results were perfect, and the other's were simply amazing. He wondered about the girl.

Shyly, Momo walked forward, not fully understanding the situation. What was that thing? And why had the Shinigami so casually discarded the first? She looked at Toushiro curiously, thinking he might know the answer. He seemed fine, at least, so it couldn't be anything harmful, could it?

The Shinigami brought the device closer to her and watched the bar rise. It didn't even go half-way, so she was nowhere near as impressive as the other two, but that was to be expected. People like Toushiro and Naruto were pretty rare. "Hn, I should've known. You always travel in packs." He put the gadget away as he put his hands on his hips and stared at the three of them. "You guys residents of this district?"

"You could say that," Toushiro replied uneasily. If he found out Hinamori and himself were from District 87, not only would they be separated from Naruto, but the months they'd spent trying to move up would've been for nothing.

"I'm sure you know you have high spiritual energy. Get hungry often?"

"Always." Toushiro shifted Naruto on his back.

"Want me to take him?" He took a step forward and Toushiro moved back.

"I'm fine." The boy glared.

"Hey, don't be a brat," the Shinigami snapped before putting his hand on Toushiro's head. "I'm just being nice." He messed up the kid's hair before pulling away, leaving Toushiro to blink, confused.

"Who are you?" Momo stepped closer to Toushiro, wary of the Shinigami just as much as her friend was. Everything they had worked so hard to achieve would mean nothing if this man found out where they really came from and ordered them back. It would all fall apart. The behavior of the Shinigami was strange, however. She had never seen one show kindness before. They were enforcers who kept the world balanced. In her mind, they were warriors, not gentle or sympathetic in any way. "What do you want?" she added as an afterthought, tensing as she stood by Toushiro's side.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, you're acting like I'm a monster." He grinned and brought his hands up. "Boo!" He laughed heartily afterward, shaking his head. "I'm Shiba Kaien, fifth seat in the 13th Division. I was just doing rounds, and I noticed there was high spiritual energy around here. Did you know that only good Shinigami have high spiritual energy?"

"What's your point?"

"No interruptions!" Kaien punched Toushiro in the arm, causing him to wince. "My point is that you guys could become good Shinigami." He smirked.

If Momo didn't feel an ounce of dignity, her jaw would have dropped in utter disbelief. Here was this man, sprouting things like "you guys could become good Shinigami". _What does he mean by it? _She wondered. _Or is he just humoring us? _She glanced at Toushiro, unsure of herself. A groan could be heard from the slumped form of Naruto, and Momo was a bit surprised he had enough strength to wake up now.

"What's going on?" he mumbled, his voice slightly muffled against Toushiro's yukata.

"Oh good. You awake, fatso?" Toushiro asked, his eyes still on Kaien, who just stared back at them. He didn't trust the Shinigami, but he couldn't very well run away with Naruto on his back. He put him down slowly, muttering out of the corner of his mouth, "We're going to run."

Kaien kicked out with his leg, hitting Toushiro in the face and causing him to cry out as he clutched at his nose, bent forward and holding it tightly. "No whispering! I can hear you anyway! And who's going to be running with that empty belly of yours?" He pulled his zanpakutou out and nudged Toushiro's stomach with the sheathed edge. "Relax, this is my job, I'm not trying to con you or anything." He grinned.

Naruto stared at the darkly clad man like he was a strange being from a far off world. Hell, to him, he _was _a strange being from a far off world. "Who the hell are you, buddy? And why did you kick him? Not that he doesn't deserve a good kick every once in a while…" His stomach growled. "And speaking of empty stomachs." He looked sheepishly over at Momo. "Can I have that apple now, Momo-chan?"

"Quiet!" The Shinigami leapt over Toushiro and his foot slammed into Naruto's face, the blond toppling over and landing on his ass. "I liked you better unconscious." He turned to Momo. "Well, what do you say? You seem to be the only civilized person here, so how about it? Are you going to come with me to the Shinigami school, or not?" He crossed his arms and waited.

"Hold on!" Toushiro rebutted, his voice coming out funny because of his injured nose. "You can't just expect us to believe you'd pick a bunch of kids up off the street in the 80th District and put them in the Shinigami academy!"

"Actually, I'm picking up two District 87 kids." Kaien grinned impishly at Toushiro, who paled. "We've been following your movements for a while now. I knew you were from 87, but it wasn't until I got closer that I realized you had high spiritual energy. You're just lucky, or else you'd be back in 87 faster than you can blink."

"Bastard," Toushiro growled.

Naruto rubbed his sore cheek, having turned his head just in time to make sure he wasn't kicked directly in the face, like Toushiro. His nose was still intact and thankfully not broken. He rather doubted the other boy had that small justice. The whole situation was confusing him, so he had pretty much tuned the man's voice out. However, he wasn't just going to sit on the ground and wait patiently for an explanation. "You can't just go around kicking random people!" he shouted right off the bat as he stood up.

Sighing, Momo stopped Naruto with a hand on his arm. "Let's just consider his offer, all right?"

"Why?" Naruto replied with irritation. "He's an even worse bastard than Hitsugaya probably."

"But, if we don't… we'll be separated," she explained softly, sadness evident in her tone.

Toushiro discounted the bastard comment aimed at him, gritting his teeth angrily. Kaien just grinned at them. Obviously, the Shinigami had them and he knew it, which pissed the boy off. The bastard was being so damn smug.

"And by the way, brat," Kaien said to Naruto before bopping him painfully on the head with the hilt of his sword. "I can kick whoever I want when I want. It's good practice." He grinned as he brought his sword back, resting it over his shoulder as he inspected them.

"We can't go to this school, we have no money," Toushiro snapped.

"It's paid for. Well, the basic things, anyway. And wouldn't you like to wear _real _clothes instead of that yukata?"

Naruto eagerly nodded. "Yeah! White really doesn't look good on me…" He trailed off, most of the conversation going right over his head. He didn't understand half of what was going on, or what was going to happen. He was the type to just go with the flow given the circumstances he found himself in. Momo was being exceptionally quiet, though. He glanced at her with interest, but she seemed to be seriously considering the situation instead of jumping in blindly like him.

Just like Toushiro, she knew the man had the three of them on a technicality, but was it the right choice? "I guess we can go… Hitsugaya-kun, what do you think?" she asked the last part a bit softer than the rest, disregarding the Shinigami for the moment.

"Why are you asking him?" Kaien put his hand on Momo's head and rocked it slightly from side to side. "You're a big girl, he's just a twerp."

Toushiro's eye twitched and he silently fumed, not daring to say anything out loud in case he got punched or kicked again. The guy certainly was violent, but he wasn't violent in a mean way. It was hard to explain, but this particular Shinigami… he was actually pretty kind compared to all the others. "Are you telling me that lodging, books, clothes, and classes are all paid for?"

"Yup." Kaien turned and smiled—actually _smiled_—at Toushiro. "Usually, you'd have to pay for certain things, but because you and your friend there," he motioned Naruto, "have spiritual power off the charts, you'll probably be provided for. As for you," he looked at Momo with a smile as she bashfully tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I guess I can help you out for a little bit, but not forever. And you'll have to pay me back eventually." He patted her head before pulling away. "So, what do you say?"

Toushiro looked at Momo as he frowned, thinking it over. Staying off the streets for free? Learning how to be a Shinigami? It sounded almost surreal.

Momo blushed and looked down. It sounded too good to be true. This man was willing to pay her way into Shinigami school, granted she would have to pay him back, but she would have insisted on that anyway. Having a secure place to stay, learning to fight so she wasn't a burden; it all was too idealistic to imagine. And here was this man saying he would give it all to them. "I—I accept." She kept her head down so she didn't have to see Toushiro's expression.

"If she's going, then so am I," agreed Toushiro. He wasn't leaving Momo by herself. They'd been together some time now and he wasn't willing to lose her. "But… can we leave him behind?" He gestured to Naruto. He was joking, of course—well, for the most part.

Kaien laughed, messing up Toushiro's spiky hair. "You're a funny one. He's already said yes, it's too late. What are your names?"

"Toushiro. Hitsugaya Toushiro."

"Hitsugaya, huh? Got a nice ring to it for a Shinigami." He grinned as he rubbed his nose before looking at Momo and Naruto. "What about you two?"

"Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. And what are you talking about, Hitsugaya? If anyone should be left behind, it's you!" He stuck his tongue out childishly at Toushiro.

Momo laughed a little before introducing herself. "Hinamori Momo. And I'm definitely the more civilized one." She smiled for the first time in the Shinigami's presence.

"I can tell. Oi, brat, shut up!" He hit Naruto across the head again. "Seeing as how you were unconscious when I met you, and Hitsugaya here was carrying you, I fail to see how you're any better than him." Of course, Kaien _knew _Naruto was better—spiritually, at least—but he wasn't going to inform him of that fact. He would just let the blond stew in knowing that a Shinigami had made fun of him.

Toushiro grinned at Naruto, clearly showing the blond that he had made a fool of himself.

Kaien noticed the look and smiled deviously in his mind as he steeled his expression and tapped his chin. "Well, if you really don't want this Naruto to come with us, I guess we can leave him here."

Toushiro's grin disappeared as he turned to Kaien, startled. "Eh? Why?"

"Well, he _was _unconscious with you carrying him. He can't be that great."

"I was just kidding!" Toushiro insisted. If Naruto got left behind because of his joke, he would feel terrible.

Naruto blinked, and then blinked again. Was Toushiro sticking up for him now? _Damn that brat's confusing. Makes my head hurt._ He rubbed his temples and turned to Momo. "I believe I've just been insulted and now I'm about to get disqualified for this Shinigami thing… and I don't even know the half of it. Where's the justice in that?"

"You're funny, Naruto-kun; not as serious as Hitsugaya-kun, but it's not bad." She smiled at him and he grinned in return before they turned back to watch Toushiro argue with the Shinigami.

"Well, I might overlook this and let him in, but only under one condition." He smiled at Toushiro.

"Of course, what is it?" Toushiro demanded.

Kaien's hand came crashing down again and Toushiro clenched his eyes shut as he waited for the hand to smash into his head. Instead, it just fell lightly on top of his messy white hair. He opened his eyes, confused, and saw Kaien bending down slightly so they were at eye-level. He was smiling again.

"Keep that loyalty to your friends." He stood straight again, removing his hand. "And don't take things so seriously. Life is too short to give up on a bunch of laughs." He turned and started walking, motioning for them to follow.

Toushiro felt a blush creep onto his face before he turned to Naruto and glared. "We're not friends," he informed. "I just felt guilty." He nodded, as if to convince himself, too, and then followed Kaien. "Come on, Hinamori."

Momo brought a hand to her mouth, hiding a smile. It appeared Naruto was worming his way into both their hearts. There was just something about the blond. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she liked him. "Sure, Hitsugaya-kun." She followed after her first real friend, her smile still tugging at her lips.

"I never said we were either, Hitsu-teme." Naruto smirked, proud of his newfound nickname for the brat.

Authors' Notes: 

_Avril – Well, here you have it. Another joint project between me and Sarge. This one, however, is more of the Bleach variety. We're rather proud of this one. Just wait until some of the other characters get introduced. Not that we're mentioning any names. You'll just have to wait and see, dear readers, wait and see._

_And since this is another rp-styled joint fic… we have another character list for you guys. We're putting them at the end this time (so we don't spoil anything) for your convenience and viewing pleasure. Enjoy! Anything to add, Sarge?_

_Sarge – Other than the fact that this was bloody hilarious and insanely fun to write, not really. We hope y'all enjoy this, and even if it seems like it's a little slow sometimes, bear with it, it'll be worth it :P And some of our characters are a little insane, but y'all know that's how I like 'em, haha._

_Stick around for more, and hopefully, you won't be disappointed._

_**Character List:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Hinamori_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Kaien, a random guy from District 80_

_Happy New Year's, Everyone! _

_Wishing you the best of luck for the upcoming year._


	2. Good Morning, Let's Fight

Chapter Two – Good Morning, Let's Fight

Toushiro tugged at the sleeve of his Gi, frowning at it, annoyed. He didn't like his new uniform at all and, for God's sake, the pants were blue! And even worse, he was rooming with Naruto! They weren't friends! Why wouldn't anyone believe him? He sighed, defeated. He supposed he could try not to be such a "bastard" to him. But… the other kept sprouting some nonsense about being "Hokage". Toushiro didn't even know what that _was_, and he was pretty sure he couldn't become it in Soul Society. _Though I guess I have to admit that he's pretty entertaining_, he thought with a snicker. Naruto had managed to injure himself twenty times since their arrival, and that was before they had even made it to the dorms. Now that it was their first day on campus, he was actually almost worried.

Naruto came out of the adjoining bathroom, disappointed. "These clothes are too clingy. And I hate the colors," he pouted, walking over to the standing mirror set up in the room since there hadn't been one in the bathroom – which was strange, considering that was where mirrors were supposed to be. "What are you staring at, Hitsu-teme, did I put something on wrong?" He turned his head in the direction of his 'roommate', glaring.

Before Toushiro could comment, Naruto turned back around to check out his uniform in the mirror, frowning as he looked over his clothes before glancing at his face to make sure he had wiped off all the toothpaste around his lips. Who knew that in the afterlife you could still get bad breath? He shrugged and scratched at his cheek. At first, it didn't hit him, but something looked different.

His eyes widened in sudden understanding. "What the hell? Where'd my whisker marks go?" He felt his cheeks, making sure it wasn't some kind of illusion. "The fuck? How's this possible? I thought they were permanent scars!" He blinked and shouted a couple more cuss words at the mirror before swerving to face Toushiro, finally finished. "And you, answer my question! What's wrong with my appearance?"

Dutifully ignoring the earlier outburst, Toushiro covered his mouth with one hand, trying—in vain—to stop from bursting out laughing, because it would be rude. He was trying to be nicer.

"Your, um…" He covered his mouth again, holding back a laugh. "Your Gi is on backwards, which would explain the discomfort." He turned away and laughed silently, not even a squeak emitting from his mouth as his shoulders shook. He took a few deep breaths before turning back to Naruto, his face completely steeled. "And the color's not that bad. It could be worse. Our outfits could've been green or orange. That would have been hideous."

"Oh, they don't come in those colors?" Naruto asked, even more dejected as he walked over to the bathroom to change again. "I mean, orange… I look best in orange." He gave off the air of a wounded puppy. "What is wrong with this place? It's all 'black' this and 'white' that! Don't they have some other colors? And don't you dare say blue. That's as bad as black." He huffed and stalked back into the bathroom to fix his Gi.

"Orange would be hideous," Toushiro repeated as he crossed his arms. "And would you hurry up? We need to eat before heading to our first class, and since you knocked yourself out yesterday for the second time, I had to stay here and watch you instead of going off to look for my classes."

Kaien had told them he would be around to help them and that the classes were easy to find, but they were entering in the middle of the year. Toushiro was embarrassed enough without being late to add to that. He wondered how Momo was doing, rubbing his arm worriedly as he thought of her over in the girl's dorms. They wouldn't even be seeing her in classes since they'd been put under different schedules. Of course, he was stuck with Mr. Clumsy, but he was grateful anyway. If he'd been completely alone, he would've felt even more worried, and embarrassed. At least with Naruto around making a fool of himself, he would be fine.

"Hey! I didn't ask that stupid boulder thing to get in my way and trip me up! And then that stupid iron pan just happened to be lying around!" the blond grumbled right back, finally finished righting his Gi and exiting the bathroom, looking at least halfway presentable this time. More so than the first time, anyway. "How's this? It's not as tight as before, thank god." He grumbled some more and grabbed the school books Kaien had provided for them all individually. "So, what's first, Hitsu-teme?" He regretted that his schedule matched perfectly with Toushiro's, but he was grateful that he wouldn't be alone at the very least. Always being alone had the tendency to make someone appreciate when there were other people around… to annoy, to talk to, the list was endless. Naruto grinned and headed for the door. "Come on, we don't want to be late."

Toushiro rolled his eyes as he grabbed his own books. "We have Kidou training first, which is going to be somewhat embarrassing since we've never learned anything and everyone else will have spent months practicing already." They exited the room and the two of them walked down the corridor, heading for the cafeteria. Honestly, Toushiro was so hungry that he thought he was going to die for a second time. He couldn't wait to get some food into his bottomless pit of a stomach. "That's supposed to be somewhere outside. I was thinking maybe we could study from the books while we ate. I did a bit of studying last night while you were unconscious, and it seems pretty complicated, but I think I've got the basics down. I can do a few things, at least." He shrugged as he pushed through the doors that led to the cafeteria.

"Oh, so that's what you were up to. I was wondering why you kept muttering to yourself." He smirked. "What you call 'unconscious' was really just me 'sleeping off the pain'. A ninja doesn't let his guard down for anything." He didn't have time to dodge Toushiro's whack to the side of his head. "Ow, that hurt, Hitsu-teme. I didn't do anything to you!" They maneuvered through the crowd of students and made their way to the breakfast line. "What's with all these people? They all want to be Shinigami-whatzits?"

"According to Kaien, only about ten percent of the people who try out as Shinigami actually make it. Well, make it to the higher ups, anyway. He said that sixty percent of the people who train here become Shinigami, but only ten percent of everyone recruited will become a seated Shinigami, or vice-captain. And only one percent will become a captain." He turned to Naruto with a sigh. "Don't you ever listen? You say you heard me muttering while you were 'sleeping off the pain' yet you can't listen to people when you're fully conscious? That's almost—" He was rudely interrupted by the other shrieking with glee. He covered his ears, wincing.

"Ramen! The heavenly joy of ramen! I _knew_ this was heaven!" Naruto rushed immediately to grab a bowl of ramen from the cafeteria lady and then rushed to find an open seat nearby, leaving Toushiro in the proverbial dust.

The other boy, for his part, was quite glad the psychotic blond was gone. Everyone was staring at him and he blushed slightly, knowing it was because he was associated with Naruto. He coughed a bit and made his way towards the oatmeal, grabbing himself a bowl before heading off to Naruto, who was happily eating his bowl of ramen.

"You're embarrassing, you know that?" he muttered as he tried to hide his face from everyone around them. It wouldn't matter since his hair stood out, as did Naruto's, but he could always try. "How about being more normal?" he grumbled as he took a bite of his oatmeal. "Who eats ramen at seven in the morning, anyway?"

"Well, me, for one. And…" He shrugged. "I suppose I could count the number of people on one hand, now that you put it that way." He went back to slurping up his ramen, having only paused momentarily to answer the boy. Not much could distract him from his ramen, now, which had his perfectly devoted attention as he finished it up. He noticed, with a grin, that Toushiro was a slow eater.

The platinum haired boy twirled his spoon in his oatmeal. He was starving, but he was so nervous he could barely even concentrate on his food. He kept going over the things he'd learned the day before, hoping to at least get something right. But, like he kept reminding himself, being friends with an idiot would make him look good. He would have to help Naruto later, once he got the hang of things. After all, he and the blond were sort of… maybe… kinda… friends. He didn't want people making fun of Naruto just because he couldn't do something. After all, looking at him, no one would believe he'd arrived in Soul Society the day before. It was insane.

Taking one final bite of his oatmeal and leaving more than half remaining, Toushiro stood. "Come on, let's head to our Kidou lesson."

Naruto looked at the boy as if he were crazy. "What, that's all you're going to eat? Isn't that going to affect you later?" He wouldn't admit he felt a hint of concern. He wasn't friends with the white-haired bastard, he reminded himself, though part of him disagreed. He usually ignored that part, anyway. When Toushiro made no move to sit back down and finish his breakfast, Naruto stood with a sigh. "Fine, have it your way, brat. Where's this Kidou lesson at, anyhow? I know you said something about it being outside—"

"Oh, so you do listen." Toushiro grinned as they headed for the doors. "Yeah, it's outside. Kaien said it was in the fourth courtyard, so I'm assuming the one closest to the dorms is the first. We'll just have to walk across it and count until we hit the fourth. Sound like a plan to you, dumbass?" He smirked at the blond, shifting his books from one hand to another. "I'm kind of worried about letting someone like you practice with spirit energy, though," he admitted with a chuckle.

"Hey!" Naruto said, scowling. "I'm not that bad." He altered the angle of his own books and marched out of the cafeteria ahead of Toushiro. "Just for that remark, I'll show you I'm better than you in every single way. Bastard," he put in as an addition.

"I highly doubt that," Toushiro stated dryly as they headed toward the first courtyard, only to stop as he saw two older men standing in the center. They wore the black Shinigami robes everyone else did, but they also had white cloaks overtop, showing they were captains.

"No!" one of them whined like a child, crossing his arms. "I want him! I saw him first! Why do you always get everyone I want, it's not fair!"

"Do you believe you are worthy to have such an obviously intelligent fellow on your team? Are you sure you're capable of keeping him entertained? You can barely use witty banter, even when you try," the other Shinigami captain objected, blowing a tuff of hair out of his eyes. "Kurosaki, you cease to amuse me."

Naruto watched on, amused nonetheless. "What's with them? Are they teachers or something?"

"Embarrassingly enough, they're captains," Toushiro replied as he listened. It sounded like they were arguing over a person, but for what purpose? Well, actually, Toushiro had an idea, but he wouldn't dare say it aloud. Naruto would probably scream it out in shock.

"I think you're speaking of yourself, Urahara. He would be much happier with me. Why, I could offer him everything! He would never get bored, and he would enjoy his time with me so much he would forget you even exist." He stuck out his tongue before crossing his arms and turning away. "Then again, I could also just use his best friend. Both would rather join me than you. We'd make the best threesome ever!"

Toushiro actually stiffened. _Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?_

Naruto burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me? Did that captain guy just say 'best threesome ever'? Ha, if only my old sensei was around. He sure would get a kick out of that, that pervert and his warped mind. So, anyway, what's with them? Who are they fighting over and why?" he inquired curiously of Toushiro, not noticing the rigid posture of the other boy.

The second captain was the first to notice they were being watched by a pair of onlookers. "Oi, Kurosaki, thanks for shouting that out-loud for us. But maybe a little louder next time, I don't think they heard you." He jerked a thumb at the two boys who were standing at the courtyard entrance.

"Trainees!" Captain Kurosaki Isshin thrust a fist into the air before bolting toward the two boys. Toushiro didn't know whether to run or hope the crazy captain accidentally flew past him. He decided to just stay where he was, and once the captains had finally reached them… the crazy one kicked them both in the face.

Toushiro slammed into the wall nearest the entrance and clutched his head painfully when he slid down it, wondering if it was standard for all Shinigami to kick and punch people, just for the hell of it.

"Ha, you two have to be faster than that!" Isshin laughed heartily with his hands on his hips as he watched the two boys groan. "Hey, Urahara, they seem a little more accurate for your lazy team."

"Pft, lazy? We do more work than you do in a year, Kurosaki. Need I remind you, I'm the President of a certain something." He grinned slyly. "I think they belong on your team. They seem more like the 'jump right in and get myself killed' kind, anyway." He offered the two a hand up. "Please forgive his rude behavior. How long have you two been trainees? A few months?"

Naruto continued to rub his sore nose as he accepted the hand. "About… two hours, starting today." Toushiro didn't even have a chance to hit him on the head this time since he dodged the blow, hyper aware of his surrounds after that 'good morning' kick he had just received.

"I'm really sorry if this comes off as impolite, but please leave me out of your… fetishes." Toushiro coughed slightly. "You can have him." He motioned to Naruto. "I, on the other hand, am not interested." He hoped he wouldn't get in trouble for this, but he had just started. He didn't need the captains to think he would just bend over and kiss someone's feet to get ahead. No, he was going to work his own way up in the ranks—except not to captain. If being a captain meant being like them, then no thanks.

"Two hours?" Isshin hollered, as if everything Toushiro had said had fallen on deaf ears. The white haired boy himself just sighed. He was used to being ignored. "Wow, you must be really, really new! That's great! I can corrupt you right off the bat, amazing!" He did a little dance, Toushiro getting very concerned.

Urahara Kisuke tsked at his fellow captain. "Please ignore his craziness. And, so you, the one with that sharp tongue, what's your name? Not many fledglings have the gull to stand up to their superiors, I like your spunk." He stepped to the side to avoid Isshin's dance going into overtime. He didn't particularly care to be slapped by a wild hand or loose foot.

Naruto, too, stepped closer to Toushiro out of fear for his safety, slightly worried about the sanity of his so-called 'superiors'. It really made him wonder what kind of society he had stumbled upon exactly.

"Hitsugaya Toushiro," the boy replied to the normal captain—or, normal between those two, anyway, since neither seemed too normal. "Shiba Kaien is the one who brought us here. He said we had high spiritual energy."

"For real?" Toushiro jerked back as Isshin's face suddenly appeared in front of his. "Wow, if you got complimented by Kaien, that must mean you guys are _good_!"

"Hey, hey!" Toushiro hollered, pointing his finger at Isshin. "We didn't do anything with Kaien! He just said we had high spiritual power, that's it!"

"You're a strange one, kid." Isshin rubbed the back of his neck. "Huh, Urahara? Something's not right with this one." He grinned at Toushiro.

The boy bit back a comment about Isshin's dancing.

"Hmm… did you say something, Kurosaki? I was just daydreaming about a new invention…" Kisuke trailed off, eyes wandering to Toushiro. "So, you say you're powerful? Do you boys want to test that out? Just for kicks?"

"Hey, Hitsu-teme, aren't we going to be late?" Naruto whispered lightly, not sure if they were allowed to leave of their own free will if they were… assaulted by captains, for lack of a better word.

"Naruto's right, we should probably be going," insisted Toushiro before glaring. "And I never said we were powerful, that's what Kaien said. I wouldn't just sprout that out to a captain, I'm not that prideful." He shot a glare at Naruto, warning him in advance not to say anything regarding his pride.

"Oh, if you're fighting with us, I don't think the teacher will mind. Here, we'll even send a Hell Butterfly for ya." Isshin let one of them land on his finger before speaking quietly to it and watching it fly away with a smirk. "Perfect! Now we're all set." He clapped his hands. "Now, I want to fight Whitey-chan."

"Whitey-chan?" Toushiro glowered.

"What are you talking about, Kurosakiii-kun?" said Urahara, drawing out the name in a sing-song type of way. "Whitey-chan should be _my_ sparring partner. You can have Sunshine-kun." He nodded in Naruto's direction, who was pouting dejectedly at the injustice, not to mention the new nickname he had been dubbed with. "Plus, I called him long before you called him! I called him in my mind! So there!"

Naruto blinked and glanced at Toushiro, confused and lonely. "How come no one wants me? You're the bastard, not me."

Toushiro could only sigh, ignoring Naruto's comment. This wasn't looking good. If he wanted a serious fight, he would have to pick the one called Urahara, but that particular captain might be too tough on him. On the other hand, even though the other, Kurosaki, seemed like a dumbass—much like his good friend Naruto; they'd be a perfect team—his insanity might cause him to pull low blows that he might not be able to compare to.

"We have no weapons," stated Toushiro, trying to get out of it.

"Here." He caught the sheathed sword that was sent flying at him, wondering where Isshin had gotten it from since he still had his own sword by his side.

Urahara, not one to be out-done by his companion, brought out a spare sword as well and tossed it to Naruto. "So, kid, what's your name?"

"Why do you want to know?" Naruto asked with raised eyebrows, catching the sword easily just like his companion. "I thought you were just going to call me 'Sun-kun' or whatever."

"That's your official name from now on, I want to know your real one," Urahara clarified, smirking.

"Oi, baka," Toushiro hissed out of the corner of his mouth. "They're captains. As immature as they are, give them your name. I gave them mine." He huffed, crossing his arms.

"Kyah! Whitey-chan is so cute!" Isshin flew forward, hugging Toushiro tightly. The platinum haired boy's eyes widened as his arms flailed.

"Let me go!" He started hitting Isshin's back with the sheathed sword, threatening to take it out and stab the man if he didn't let go.

"Mou, so mean, Whitey-chan." Isshin let him go as requested, standing beside Urahara again. "So, Urahara-taichou, you taking Sunshine-kun so I can have Whitey-chan?" He grinned.

Urahara only gave the man a look. "Like hell I would do something that stupid. I'll be taking Whitey-chan. You don't know how to deal with such people, as proven by your touchy feely moment just now. You can have Sunshine-kun." He brandished open his cloak and took out what at first glance seemed to be a cane. "Don't make me take her out and stab you, Kurosakiii-kun."

"He's going to take what out where to whom?" Naruto shook his head. "Well, if it matters that much, Hitsu-teme… I guess I'll tell them my damn name. And they better remember it!" he shouted the last part pointedly. "Uzumaki Naruto! I'll be a captain for sure one day!"

Toushiro slapped his forehead at the blond's outburst. _He's going to get me killed one day, I know it_, he thought with a sigh. He looked back at the two captains, deciding Kisuke was right.

"I'll fight with Urahara-taichou, if that's all right with you," he said to Kisuke directly.

"What? So mean!" Isshin turned away from them, leaning forward against a pillar as he pretended to cry.

Toushiro just shook his head, paying no mind to the theatrics. "Is that okay, Urahara-taichou?"

"Yeah! I finally win!" Urahara pointed his cane at Toushiro, smiling. "Come, Whitey-chan, I'll show you to my fantastic, secret training ground!"

"So, that means I'm stuck with that guy, then?" Naruto gestured to Isshin, frowning slightly. "Er, he's… kind of wimpy-looking, don't you think?"

"What?" Isshin spun around, his eyes ablaze as he clenched his hands into fists. "You're going to eat those words of yours, Sunshine-kun!"

"Great, anger the captains why don't you?" Toushiro rubbed his face tiredly. "Can you please not kill him? I don't want a new roommate," he said as he headed toward Kisuke, intent on following him to his so called 'secret training ground'.

"Kisukeeeee." Isshin pouted as he tugged on the other captain's sleeve. "Can I come to the secret training ground with Sunshine-kun, too?"

"Fine, fine." Urahara sighed. "Just stop touching me. Now, follow me, fellow captain and trainees."

"Oh, so I shouldn't have said that?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion, scratching the back of his neck. "Well, he does look like a wimp. Are you sure they're really captains, Hitsu?"

"Only captains are allowed to wear those white cloaks over their robes," Toushiro whispered as he followed behind the captains with Naruto. "And—oh God, what have we gotten ourselves into?" He clutched his head. Sure, he knew how to fight with a sword, but—they were _captains_! As long as they didn't unsheathe their swords, they would be fine. Sure, he and Naruto—mostly Naruto—would have a few bumps and bruises, but it was better than cuts and internal bleeding.

"Are we there yet?" Isshin asked, then paused. "On second thought, we should continue our discussion from earlier." He nodded to himself. "I strongly believe that Tousen should be my vice-captain."

Toushiro almost tripped at those words. "What? That's what you were arguing about?"

"Of course, what did you think we were arguing about?"

Urahara tapped his cane against his chin. "Hmm… I suppose they could have thought we were talking about a lover. Or maybe about something petty like that. Really, I'm not sure. What did you think we were talking about, Whitey-chan?"

Naruto stifled a laugh and turned his head away so he didn't have to see the probably horrified expression on Toushiro's face. He wouldn't be able to hold in his laughter if he looked.

"N-Nothing," he said, a blush creeping onto his cheeks as he let his gaze fall anywhere but on the captains. "I just… didn't think it was about a vice-captain, is all." He coughed slightly as he struggled to make his blush recede. He felt like an idiot.

"It's all right, Whitey-chan, it's not like we'll ever fight over you." Isshin laughed as he patted the boy's head.

Toushiro's eyebrow twitched. "You already did."

"Huh? We did?" Isshin frowned, looking at Kisuke. "We fought over him?"

"Sorry about him, he has a very select, very limited memory." Urahara nodded as if that explained all. He quickened the pace to the training ground. "Let's hurry it up, we're almost here. Well… almost."

"What's that supposed to mean? Ouch, quit slapping me, Hitsu-teme! That hurts." The blond glared in front of him, not bothering to turn his head. "At least I wasn't the one who thought that the captains were talking about—" His mouth was suddenly covered.

"Shut up!" Toushiro snapped, his hand still over Naruto's mouth. "At least I think at all!" he shot out defensively.

"Aw, you two are so cute," Isshin declared as he closed one eye and brought his hands up near his face before pretending to take a picture. "I'm going to frame this one in my office."

Toushiro blinked and then sighed, removing his hand from Naruto's mouth. "Why do I bother? Everyone is crazy." He groaned, clutching the sword closer to him. He just wanted to get to Kidou practice. "Are we there yet?"

Naruto, in a careless moment, swung his sword backwards, having forgotten the thing was even in his hand. The—thankfully sheathed—sword connected instantly with Toushiro's stomach. "Whoops, sorry there, Hitsu-teme. Bet that didn't help the empty stomach," he said sheepishly.

"Ah! We're here!" crooned Urahara happily, gesturing eagerly to the dank cave they now stood in front of. "Tada!"

Toushiro had one hand on his stomach as he gasped for breath, tightening his hand on his own sword. "Baka!" He slammed the sheathed sword over Naruto's head, grinning in satisfaction as it cracked loudly. He was going to have to be more on guard with Naruto around. Then again, it had its advantages, what with him never being caught off-guard ever in his life because of his crazy roommate.

"Aw, Whitey-chan, did he hurt you?" Isshin asked. "Come this way." He motioned in the opposite direction of Kisuke with one hand, while taking Toushiro's arm with the other.

"Uh, the training area is that way," he insisted with a glare, getting out of Isshin's grip quickly. "I know what you're trying to do. I'm fighting the sane one." He was adamant in his decision; that was, until he took a look at the cave, frowning. "This is it? It's kind of pathetic …"

"I'm insulted, Whitey-chan! You haven't even seen the place. Come, ignorant ones, let me show you around." Kisuke grinned mischievously. "After you, Whitey-chan. And, Kurosakiii-kun, you get to go last."

"Wha—why?" Isshin practically screeched at Urahara's comment about him going last.

Naruto stuck to Toushiro's side, pouting as he massaged his now throbbing head. "Is it just me, or are they even more insane than before?" 

"I don't think it's possible, but hey, I could be wrong," Toushiro whispered to Naruto, disregarding the captain's deafening shriek as he clung back to the blond, looking around anxiously. What if the captains just wanted to eat their brains or something? He was glad he had a sword, to be honest. He could just cut Naruto down and run. _No, that'd be mean_, he sighed. _I guess I could sacrifice myself for the moron. Besides, I know I can hold my own with a sword. Naruto doesn't even seem to know how to hold it._ He ducked another accidental blow from the other boy.

"Suck it up, Isshin-shin." Urahara rolled his eyes at the bawling captain and walked forward into the cave after the two boys, makings sure that Isshin actually went last. "Plus, with them ahead of us, they'll never see that trapdoor." He grinned. "And then, they'll fall down into my training ground and simply be amazed. If they don't die, that is. It is a long way down, I suppose. Hmm… maybe that wasn't such a good idea, after all."

Toushiro continued walking further into the cave with Naruto, wondering why the captains were lagging behind. As he opened his mouth to inquire, the ground under him disappeared and he screamed, grabbing onto Naruto, who was still on solid ground.

"Gah! Help me up! Help me up!" he hollered as he held the blond tighter, struggling to get his feet back under him. He grunted as he pulled himself back up with Naruto's help, panting once he was back on solid ground. "That's so dangerous," he murmured.

"Aw, it didn't work!" Isshin pouted, then grinned. He snuck behind the two boys, who were looking down the large hole, and shoved them.

Toushiro screamed again.

Naruto clung onto Toushiro like his life depended on it. Well, in all actuality, it did. At least he could use the other boy to soften the fall or something when they hit solid ground. Meanwhile, he would stick with screaming his lungs out.

"Cry, Benihime." Wasn't that Captain Urahara? And what exactly was that supposed to mean? They were going to die and he was telling someone to cry? Shouldn't he be more worried about the lawsuit soon to follow on their behalf?

Surprisingly, their descent slowed down as they hit something that wasn't too soft or too hard and passed through it completely until they landed with a thud against the ground. Somewhere along the way, Naruto realized he had shut his eyes, not too thrilled on seeing the oncoming horror. "Is it safe?" he asked meekly, still burrowed against Toushiro.

"Yes, now get off." Toushiro didn't push Naruto away because his knees were shaking so badly he was worried that he would fall over. He just let the blond hold him and pretended to be annoyed while he reminded his legs they were made of bone and not jelly. "Whoa… now _this _is a secret training area."

"Ha!" Isshin landed beside him and grabbed the two boys, putting them both in a headlock each. "Gets them every time. Oh, wasn't that fun? Ah, I miss the good old days where Urahara could trick me with that trapdoor." He sighed, reminiscing and still pinning the both of them to his side.

"I can't breathe," Toushiro choked out.

"Need air," Naruto gasped, struggling as much as Toushiro in the crazy captain's grip.

"Kurosakiii-kun, you're going to kill our sparring partners. Please stop before you choke them," Urahara tried to explain to his fellow comrade. Although, he guessed it went in one ear and out the other, just like any other time he had tried to explain something to Isshin.

"What are you talking about? They're fine," Isshin said, giving them both an extra squeeze for good measure, the two boys wheezing before he finally let them out of their headlocks. "But I suppose we should get started. Whitey-chan—"

"I'm fighting him." Toushiro coughed, holding his throat with one hand and motioning to Urahara with the other.

"Sharp! Sharp! I like you." Isshin laughed. "All right, Sunshine-kun, let's go this way." He gestured for Naruto to follow him.

Giving a forlorn look to Toushiro, as if asking for help, Naruto discontentedly proceeded after the captain.

"All right then, Whitey-chan. This way, this way," instructed Urahara, taking the opposite side of the training grounds. He stopped a good distance away and waited for Toushiro to catch up. "Well, I suppose you want to hear the rules for this fight, don't you?"

Toushiro nodded, pulling out the sword from its sheath and inspecting it as he spoke. "That would be nice."

"Oh, oh, can I listen?" Isshin asked from across the way. "We should probably have the same rules, otherwise Whitey-chan and Sunshine-kun will have different advantages, and that's not fair."

"Question." Toushiro sighed. "Why did you ask for our names if you aren't going to use them?" His eyebrow twitched in annoyance at being called Whitey-chan repeatedly.

"Kids these days. They never listen. I told Sunshine-kun this before. We wanted to know your real names, but we already gave you your official names in our minds from now on." The man grinned. "And feel free to listen, Isshin, though you may not like what I say. It's completely up to you. First off, we—the captains—will not be using any weapons whatsoever." Urahara gestured to the cane that was back in the place where it had previously been when they had first met. "Second, we'll only fight you with our left hand, giving you the advantage with your swords there and the use of both hands. Feel free to try and beat us… if you can. I think that's about all, unless you have something to add, Kurosakiii?"

"Oh, so we only fight with our bare hands?" Isshin put his sword away with a smile. "I like it. But what if they're good? Can we pull our swords out then? I don't want my arm cut off or anything." He grinned as he rolled his shoulders, cracking his neck.

"So, you're letting us fight you with real swords with sharp blades… and you're not going to use anything?" Toushiro asked, raising an eyebrow. "Aren't you getting a little cocky?"

"Cocky? No." Isshin laughed. "We just know our strengths." He got into a fighting stance. "Let's go, Sunshine-kun. Don't let Whitey-chan outdo you."

Naruto looked down at the blade in his hand, tilting his head. "Well, this would be my first time wielding one of these. Kakashi-sensei once tried to teach me how to use one, but… I never really paid attention." He shrugged. "But when you put it the way you just did, Kurosaki-taichou, I believe I'll just have to figure it out and best Hitsu." He grinned, lifting the sheathed sword and dropping into his own fighting stance. "Ready."

00000

"Hasty as ever." Urahara shook his head as he looked at the energetic duo and then redirected his gaze to Toushiro. "Any time you're ready is good for me. I'll let you have the first shot. How's that sound?"

"Don't give me a handicap." Toushiro bent his knees and held the sword by the hilt, keeping the blade parallel to the ground. He shifted his feet slowly, narrowing his eyes as he kept his gaze on his target. Then, he jumped forward, his blade slicing through the air perfectly, whistling heard due to the speed.

Urahara was mildly surprised the boy knew how to wield the sword so well, especially since asauchi tended to weigh a bit more than the normal sword, though few people could really tell the difference. He watched the movements of the boy for a second longer before dodging any hit Toushiro could have made on his body. The offense was strong enough, he noticed, but the defense didn't look nearly as good. He decided to test his observations by swinging a left punch toward the boy from below the blade.

Toushiro shifted the blade of his sword at the last second, the captain's fist connecting with the flat end of the blade. Toushiro then pushed off him, sliding back on the dirt ground as he narrowed his eyes further, calculating. He was weak on defense, he knew that, and after one swing, Urahara knew that, too. _Damn, he's good. _He grit his teeth and tightened his hold on his sword. _Then I'll have to ensure I make him believe I can't block something, when in reality, it'll leave him open._

Nodding to himself, the boy lunged back towards the captain, shifting his weight at the last moment and swinging his blade hard towards the man's stomach, only to change angles at the last second and aim up for his left arm.

The captain caught the change in angles a bit too late, able to at least avoid the worst of the cut just in time. The slight slash on his left arm, though, was testament to the fact he should have been quicker in realizing that tactic. The boy certainly was a tricky one; he'd have to watch for more feints from now on. Rolling his arm around to make sure the wound wouldn't affect his movement, he decided in that moment to go on the offense. _If the kid wants to play, than play we shall._ He struck out with his left fist again, sighing at the fact that he couldn't even use his _legs_ to attack... at least that would have given him an advantage in this situation. Focusing all his strength into that one blow, he aimed directly for Toushiro's face.

Toushiro gasped and just barely dodged the blow, feeling the fist graze the tip of his nose as he avoided it. He spun away and straightened again, gripping his sword tighter. "Why don't we fight like men, using swords instead of fists? This whole underhand thing isn't my favorite way of fighting," he admitted. It may have been a bad idea to point out his weakness to Kisuke, but what else could he do? He was going to end up with a fist in the face eventually, anyway.

"You really want me to fight with my sword? Well, your advantage would go right down the drain," Urahara pointed out. "At least with my bare hands you still stand a chance at winning. You'll have to really knock me around before I give you the privilege of fighting me with my sword. Now, are we going to stand around and talk, or are we going to fight?" He rushed once more at the boy, fist raised.

Toushiro dodged it and ducked under the captain's arm, swinging his sword again. It was dodged and he slid back to avoid a hit from the captain. With a growl, he jumped up, his sword raised high above his head as he aimed for the captain's head. He trusted the man to at least dodge it enough so he didn't cause him deadly harm.

Urahara did move, but not in the predicted way. Instead, he made it so that the sword at any rate connected sharply with his right arm. He could stand a little pain, not mention it would keep him from giving in to the temptation to use his right hand—a small reminder, though that particular slash stung a bit more than the one before it. "Nicely done, kid, but you shouldn't have given me so much time to dodge."

"I'm not aiming to kill." Toushiro flipped back to his feet, standing with his sword poised once again. "I just want a little workout, and if I give you a few more stings, maybe you'll finally pull out that sword of yours." He smiled. "I'm not saying I can best you, I just prefer to fight steel with steel. Makes me feel less pathetic, seeing as how you're still practically winning, despite the fact that you're only using your left arm to attack me."

Toushiro's eyes drifted towards Naruto and Isshin, wondering how his blond friend was doing.

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Panting, Naruto dodged to the right and rolled to avoid the consecutive attacks of Isshin. The man sure knew what he was doing on his feet, he could tell, but he still had the advantage of a blade over fists. He would have to make due and figure out a way to beat the captain head on. He got immediately back onto his feet and ducked another blow to the head, bringing up his still sheathed sword to directly block another incoming blow.

"Come, Sunshine-kun! Be more energetic!" Isshin guffawed loudly as he bounced from one foot to the other, waiting for Naruto to regain his breath. "You know, you would be doing much better if you unsheathed that sword. I can see you have potential, you just need to use it. That, or I'm reading you wrong." He frowned to himself, still jumping from foot to foot. "And don't be afraid to use your fists and feet, they're good weapons, too." He raised one index finger, making a point, and looking ridiculous still jogging on the spot. "A Shinigami mustn't rely solely on their sword if there are other weapons at their disposal. Once you learn Kidou, that'll be something else for you to use."

_The hell?_ Naruto thought, still panting. _Is this guy another **Gai** or something? _It was just too creepy... maybe Gai had already died and now was standing before him in another form? No, that couldn't be right. Isshin didn't have those trademark bushy eyebrows, but he did still have above-average brows all the same. _Well, if he insists on giving **me** a stupid nickname, I won't be out done._ "Oi, mini-brows, do I just pull this sword thing out of this sheath part? And then what do I do?" He stared at the sword in his hand like it was a complicated puzzle that he just couldn't figure out. "It doesn't look like much... don't you have something else? Like kunai?"

"Mini-brows? Kunai?" Isshin blinked, and then guffawed loudly. "You're so funny, Sunshine-kun. Of _course_ you pull the sword out of the sheath, it's what I just said!" He walked over to Naruto and patted his head two or three times as he laughed. "Need a hand? I can show you how to hold it, too. Or you can just watch Whitey-chan." He motioned behind Naruto at Toushiro, the platinum haired boy in the middle of an air-attack.

Glancing in the direction Isshin had motioned, Naruto narrowed his eyes as he saw—in his opinion—what looked like Toushiro winning over the alleged captain. "I would back away from me now," he growled, determination reigning anew. He pulled the sword out of the sheath as instructed and waited until the captain actually _had_ backed up. Sheath in one hand and sword in the other, he charged at Isshin with all he had. He wouldn't let that bastard Toushiro best him in a competition like this. It would just be too pitiful for words.

Isshin's eyes widened as he dodged the blow Naruto attempted to connect with his sword, only to be hit in the face with the sheath. He stumbled back a bit and examined the boy's stance. He had completely changed from before, his eyes ablaze with determination and his fists clenched around his two weapons. Honestly, Isshin had never heard of someone using their sheath as a weapon, too, but this kid was pulling it off decently.

_Is this really the same boy from just a minute ago?_ Isshin could _feel_ the spiritual energy flowing off him in waves. It was incredible, seeing as how he shouldn't have been able to feel a rookie's spiritual energy at all. Just what exactly _was_ this kid?

Naruto relaxed his stance, reminding himself that the captain was only using his fists in battle—and only one, at that—and he had a lot more weapons at his disposal. Who was he kidding? He wasted no time on making another assault, brandishing the sword as another feint and going for a strike with the sheath. Even if he managed to dodge any of them, Naruto made sure to add a kick in for good measure.

Isshin dodged the first two blows and blocked the kick, jumping back a bit to gain some distance. "Whoa ho ho. And here I thought Whitey-chan would be giving me a workout, but you're using your whole body as a weapon instead of just your sword. You're good, I like that. Once you're trained up a bit, you'll be lots of fun to spar with. I feel tempted to take out my sword right now." He grinned. "Oi, Urahara," he called to his friend as he reached down and pulled his sword out of his belt, the sheath still containing the sharp blade. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to break the rules. Sunshine-kun is a lot tougher than I thought." He held his blade with his left hand, still giving Naruto a decent handicap, and smirked. "Time for me to get more serious."

Naruto took a moment to regain his breath and then nodded. "So finally the real fight begins, huh?"

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Blocking an adequate blow to his side with an elbow, giving himself another scratch in the process, Urahara groaned when he heard his friend was going to break the rules. "You _never_ do what I tell you, Kurosaki! I knew it! Do whatever you want!" he called out from his side of the room, a bit aggravated. He turned to watch Toushiro pant, the boy taking in shaky breaths. "Looks like you need to get in better shape or you'll be useless in hand-to-hand. Unlike your friend over there."

"I work better with weapons." Toushiro glared, chancing a look at Naruto. He had to admit, the blond was good. _Good enough for the damn captain to pull out his sword_, he pouted. He was never going to hear the end of it. Naruto would rub it in his face all night--all _year_. He had to change that.

Closing his eyes, Toushiro stood still, his sword poised as he took slow, even breaths. His eyes then snapped open and he flickered, moving so fast he was barely visible to the naked eye. He'd learned this on the streets whiles escaping from people he had stolen food from.

Once he was decently close to the captain, he swung his sword, aiming for the man's stomach.

Urahara barely realized what had happened. He couldn't believe what he was seeing with his own eyes. _He knows how to use shunpo at this age? Who **are** these kids?_ His side gained a shallow cut due to his carelessness, only having time to shift enough to avoid a more deadly wound. _Shouldn't have underestimated this kid..._ "Hey, Whitey-chan, could I ask where you learned that particular trick?" He rubbed at his side, wincing a little. "Don't usually see kids who can move that fast." Contemplating on taking his own sword out, he waited for the answer, using the time to think out a better plan of action, if there was one—he would probably end up taking his sword out, at this rate.

"Growing up on the streets of District 87—you learn a few things." Toushiro straightened, his sword down at his side. "I've done what I had to in order to survive. It wasn't easy, I'll admit to that, but I spent my time running from people and watching the Shinigami. It wasn't hard to pick up; it was actually _mastering_ it that caused me problems." He crouched again and held his sword parallel to the floor, same as when they first started. "I won't pretend I'm as fast as a captain, but I wonder if maybe this will give me an advantage." He flickered out of sight again.

Sighing, Urahara realized it had come down to what he feared. He would have to violate his own rules. Well, it wouldn't be the first time, he admitted to himself. He quickly unsheathed what at first glace had appeared to be a cane, bringing out a gleaming sword to halt Toushiro's attack which had seemingly appeared out of no where. "You're pretty good for only learning that on the streets. I'm impressed."

Toushiro smirked as he jumped back, admiring Kisuke's sword. "Thank you. I like your sword. I'm glad I finally got you to pull it out. And you even removed it from its sheath, too. Though, I have to admit, a cane is a smart place to hide it. You can play a cripple and then suddenly pull it out and take down all your opponents. Tricky. I like that." He smiled and got back into position. "Now that we're down to swords, I have to ask, how serious are you going to take this?"

Urahara disappeared from sight with a smile etched on face. _Let the games begin._

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Blades clashed down on each other, Naruto crisscrossing his sheath against his sword and using the added weight to push Isshin's blade away. He took a deep breath and dodged another blow, the captain not sparing him any time. He switched his weight from one foot to the other, spinning his right in the air, hoping to connect with the man's stomach.

Isshin dodged the blow to his stomach, twirling his sword and bonking Naruto on the head with it before laughing. "Tired already, Sunshine-kun? Or are you just going easy on me because you think I'm a weak old man?" He twisted where he was, bringing his sheathed sword down to hit Naruto again, but the blond blocked it, causing him to jump back to avoid another kick. _Tch, this kid uses everything in his power. He doesn't rely on his sword. That's a good quality, but it's also an easy way to lose limbs if he's not careful. But I'll admit that he **is** good. Wonder if Urahara's getting as much of a workout. _Isshin didn't want to chance looking over, or else Naruto would land a blow on him, and how embarrassing would _that_ be?

Naruto kicked out with a leg, panting slightly, swerving on the spot to bring about an uppercut. _Take that!_ he thought again and again as he continued his assault, punching and ducking and kicking until his muscles started stiffening in protest. He ignored his body and brought up his sword to block the brunt of another blow from Isshin's sheathed sword. _Damn, this guy is pretty good. Suppose Hitsu-teme was telling the truth, wasn't he?_

"Damn, kid, I might even have to go with my right hand soon." Isshin laughed and then grunted, stumbling back from a blow that connected with his face. "You're hard to keep up with. I guess I hit a nerve when I asked if you were tired. Do you have to punish someone you just met?" He flipped his sword into his other hand, smirking as he blocked Naruto's next attack. "Out of curiosity, did you want me to wait until you ran out of energy, or do you want me to just finish you off right now?"

"You're wrong," Naruto hissed through clenched teeth. "You ... you're still underestimating me, old man! I don't appreciate that!" He threw his sheath aside and gripped his sword in both of his hands, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to regain himself. He snapped them back open immediately and dodged Isshin's newest attack, rolling on the ground with the sword pointed outward to nick at Isshin's calves as he went past the man. "I won't let you win so easily."

"Ow!" Isshin exclaimed, looking down. His robes were cut and a thin line of blood was trickling down his legs. "Well I'll be damned. You actually got me." He grinned, watching as Naruto stood up once more. "Now things will get more interesting. I knew there was something about you, Sunshine-kun." Isshin gripped his sword more securely with his right hand and charged, slamming it into Naruto's sword hard before swiveling around and slamming his fist into the side of the blond's face. Belatedly, he realized that he may have been a little bit too hard on the blond, but Isshin wasn't one to hold back.

Naruto reeled back, head tilted downwards as he gasped, eyes wide. So the Captain had foregone child's play, had he? Well, that was just fine with him. He would give the man what he was asking for, then. A real fight. He straightened, steadied his stance, and glared. "Oh? And what, Hitsugaya was automatically better than me? I don't take insults like that well." He charged, sword raised and cutting through the air with speed, aimed at Isshin. Blades clashed once more, but his tired muscles really couldn't withstand the force behind the Captain's thrust, the man's blade inching ever closer. He narrowed his eyes. _No_, he thought, _I won't give up like this. Not this time. Not ever again._

Isshin grunted as he struggled to push the sheathed blade closer to Naruto. It was astounding. The boy was obviously tired, but he was making Isshin work to get the blade closer. Sure, Isshin was still winning, but it wasn't an easy win. Naruto was definitely holding his ground, and there was nothing Isshin could do about it.

With a snort, the captain pushed away from Naruto, gaining some distance as he looked the panting blond up and down. "I never thought I'd see the day where I would do this with a newbie." He admitted as he brought his left hand to his sheath. Slowly, he pulled his sword from its sheath, throwing the protection to the ground before gripping his sword with both hands, the blade glinting in the light that shone in from the top of the area they were standing in. "You're the first person below captain and vice-captain level to ever see my blade, Sunshine-kun." He smirked. "Or perhaps I should call you Naruto."

Gaping, Naruto stared at the Captain. Just stared. Had the man really just called him by his name? At last? Damn, it was a miracle, and no one else was around to hear it! Well, besides that Urahara guy and Hitsugaya, but they were engaged in battle themselves. He admired Isshin's blade for only a moment before rolling his shoulders and taking a long breath. This guy most certainly was a Gai incarnate. No doubts about that. He just kept going, and going, and going. Pft, he'd show him! If beating Isshin meant he had beaten Gai by default somehow, it would definitely be worth it. If he had to, he would push his body to its limits to achieve absolute triumph. Why settle for less? With resolution in his heart, he charged again with the borrowed blade.

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Toushiro gripped his sword tighter as he stayed impossibly still and listened intently. He shifted barely a second before a sword appeared out of thin air, the platinum-haired boy raising his sword to block the blow. He saved himself, mostly, but the tip of the captain's blade nicked his cheek and he flinched, jumping away and disappearing from in front of Kisuke, appearing behind him and swinging his sword down with a loud cry, trusting the captain to at least block it enough not to get injured. It would be a boost to Toushiro's ego if he injured the captain, but he could also get in trouble for it, and he wasn't looking to get kicked out.

Urahara turned with speed and easily blocked the blade, raising an eyebrow. "Why ever did you shout? Never give your opponent time to think, even when you believe you have the upper hand." He pushed their joined blades apart, stepping back. "Let's try that again, shall we? By the way, if I were you, I'd be doing less talk and more action." A smirk, and then he was gone as if he had suddenly disappeared. The thing about a flash-step, it only took a second or less to manipulate and enact. He was behind Toushiro before the boy even had the time to register the last part fully, holding his blade at a bare throat. Of course, Toushiro wasn't one to just sit idly. He knew that. The boy must have had something else up his sleeve.

Toushiro smirked as he felt the cool blade against his throat. He didn't even bother turning his head as he spoke. "I thought you said less talk and more action. That was rather silly of you, since that whole speech let me anticipate your move."

The young boy had turned his sword around so that the point of the blade was now inches away from piercing into the older man's chest, right into his heart. The two were frozen with neither able to move, lest the other go through with the threat both blades had put forth. If either backed down even a little, it would be like admitting defeat, and Toushiro was much too proud for that. If he had to, he would let the older man slit his throat so long as he got to slam his own sword into the other's chest.

"So—now what?"

"We call it a draw?" Urahara couldn't believe his own words, no less that he had spoken them. But he really didn't want to hurt the boy, not when he had such potential. Really, to make a captain unsheathe his blade in battle was a rather big feat for a rookie. Were these kids merely trainees? Was it possible? He would, of course, be keeping an eye on them. He shifted a little, easing up on his sword. "It was a good fight... Toushiro. We must try it again sometime. As equals." Dropping his blade completely, he took a step backward to put distance between himself and the blade pressed tauntingly to his chest. It was rather disconcerting how the boy had predicted that last move. It made him smile nonetheless as he gave his opponent a short bow.

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Isshin shifted his weight to block the blow from Naruto with his sword, his other hand moving swiftly to counter a punch to his stomach. _This kid's got guts, I'll give him that. Not many people would attack a captain straight on._ He leapt back a little and smirked, wondering if it would be a little too unfair to release his sword. He decided against it. This was only a kid, after all.

Brushing sweaty, loose strands of hair out of his line of sight, Naruto swerved on the spot, bringing one leg up to kick out and using the momentum to swing his sword as a follow-up attack. He pulled it off fairly well, given it was his first time using such a tactic. Even if his attacks were blocked, he could still back off and try something else. This fight was far from over.

Isshin watched Naruto pant; sweat dripping down the blond's tanned skin. That boy was going to kill himself if he didn't stop soon. Then again, that was pretty impressive to Isshin. A person who never gave up—they were rare nowadays. He was having more fun than he'd ever had with a rookie.

Twirling his sword with one hand, Isshin flickered from Naruto's sight, appearing beside him and slamming his sword down, ensuring not to do so too hard, as Naruto _was_ still a rookie. The blond managed to block it, though, which impressed Isshin more than he would admit, and the captain flickered away, standing a few feet behind Naruto, now. He chanted an incantation in his head before holding out his hand—a low level fire Kidou.

Naruto winced a little, straightening and trying to understand what Isshin was preparing to do now with his outstretched hand. When a wave of fire shot out from the man's palm, he gasped slightly... was that some kind of jutsu? He ducked it in the nick of time, the edges of his hair a little singed from the heat, but whole and not barbequed all the same. A feat in itself, really. He didn't want to picture what would have happened had he not dodged the flame. Crispy Naruto didn't sound appealing for some reason. "What the hell?" he shouted, one hand flying to his hair to feel the burnt edges and the other gripping his sword ever tighter. "No fair, old man!"

"Don't lose focus!" Isshin hollered as he lunged, his sword slicing through the air. He stopped it barely inches away from Naruto's raised hand, and was surprised to see the boy had already begun pulling it back. Even if Isshin hadn't held back, Naruto would've cleared the blow with barely a scratch. Who the hell _was_ this kid?

Swinging around, he let his sword fly through the air, the blond blocking it again. Every time Isshin swung his sword at him, Naruto managed to either block, dodge, or even counter it. Isshin didn't understand how someone could be so good when he was only a mere rookie. Granted, Isshin wasn't going at his full strength, but he was almost there.

Thinking fast, Naruto caught the blade that descended upon him with his own, holding it there for just a moment before pretending to buckle under the strain. He had a plan, but would it work? He feinted, collapsing to the ground and panting harshly. It honestly did hurt to move, but he could still push himself a little further. Just a little. Back digging into the dirt floor, he shifted his blade just so and waited for what he knew would undoubtedly happen despite the completely obvious opening he had left the captain. But would Isshin take the bait?

The captain knew it was a trick, but he also knew that he would be able to get in fast enough and defeat Naruto, just like he was meant to, what with being a captain and all. He used shunpo to get right in front of Naruto, his blade poised downward, aimed right at Naruto's chest. He frowned, almost confused, when he felt something just barely poking him in the stomach and, looking down, he saw Naruto's sword. _No way! He was able to shift his sword at the last second, even though I moved in so fast?_ He looked back up into Naruto's face, trying to hide his own shock.

But now, they had a problem. He knew neither of them would back down, so who was going to walk out of this as the victor?

"What are you waiting for?" the boy taunted, voice sounding tired to his own ears. "But I see your dilemma. You stab me... and well, I'll stab you back." He attempted a smirk. "Go right ahead and be my guest. I'm already dead, right? What harm can it do to die again just to beat you?" It was a rather hollow statement, but he didn't want to lose, just as much as the Captain wanted to keep his honor.

"It's a little different, kid. You may be dead, but here in Soul Society, you can still die." Isshin sighed, not moving an inch. "It's complicated to explain, but trust me. You don't want me pushing my sword forward any more than I want you to push yours. I suppose I could back up, but that's not likely. I'm not one to just step back and admit defeat, and from what I can tell, neither are you." Isshin glanced up in search of Urahara, wondering if the other man could find some way to solve this.

The sound of clapping filled the air, Urahara stepping closer to the scene between two unrelenting fighters. "Aww... doesn't this scene look like fun? How ever are you going to get out of this little pinch, Isshin?" There was a definite smirk curving the other captain's lips, the taunt clear. He mock gasped. "Don't tell me Kurosaki Isshin will admit defeat! Good heavens, all of Soul Society would crumble in the wake of such a catastrophe! Say it isn't so!"

Naruto snorted at the drama that was Urahara, keeping his sword pointed upwards with an unwavering sort of determination. He _would not_ lose.

"We might be here a while." Toushiro crossed his arms over his chest with a sigh. "Naruto isn't one to give up, either. I say we leave, grab some food, come back—no, they'd still be here. Wow, this is gonna be a really long day." He smirked slightly, ignoring the blood that was caking on the side of his face from the nick he'd received.

"Well, this isn't over, because we don't have a winner yet," Isshin insisted. "We can't just _both_ walk away the winner; one of us has to lose, and I'm not backing down, even if it kills me."

"Well, we might die of old age waiting here." Toushiro yawned, and then stretched.

Naruto turned his head slightly to glare at Toushiro. "Hey, it's not like I'm calling this thing a stupid draw. He wanted a fight, and a fight he got. Now, if he'd be a good old man, he'd kindly resign before my arm falls off." He switched his gaze back up to Isshin. "This really isn't getting us anywhere, is it?" The blond sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He was still aware of his surroundings, however, so he could feel the bite of the blade nipping at his chest. It was rather uncomfortable. Couldn't a winner and a loser be chosen already?

Urahara scratched his cheek, still looking upon the scene in amusement. "But you're right, Whitey-chan, maybe we should go get some take-out and come back. At least we can have dinner and a show." He cocked his head to one side. "Then again, what if we come back to find they both rammed their blades into each other at once? That kind of just defeats the purpose of _getting_ take-out in the first place. Hmm..."

Toushiro gave Kisuke a look. He had been joking about the take-out, for one thing, and for another, he didn't much like the idea of coming back to find Isshin had plunged his sword into Naruto's chest. The blond was annoying, but not annoying enough to kill. "I'm sure we can come to _some_ sort of agreement. It's not like you're both just gonna stay like that; you're gonna get tired. Why don't we just call it a draw for now, so that Naruto and I can get to our Kidou class, and then we can continue this another time."

"You think I'm going to admit defeat?" Isshin sounded horrified, as if it were the worst idea he'd ever heard in his life. "I'm a captain! I can't admit defeat to a rookie who's never even held a sword before!"

"Well, Urahara-san and I tied, so you and Naruto can, too, and then we can have rematches later." Toushiro shrugged. He really _did_ want to get to their Kidou class. He hoped the teacher wouldn't be too angry, but then again, at least Isshin had sent the person a message.

"Whatever," Naruto grumbled, nudging at Isshin's blade. "Next time I face this sorry excuse for a Captain, I'm going to defeat him with everything I have, no holds bar; you got that, old man?"

"My, he's a feisty one; ne, Isshin-shin?" Urahara quipped, twirling his re-sheathed sword/cane in one hand, dancing eyes fixed on the duo. "They certainly gave as a run for our money, didn't they? I expected a warm-up, not a full out exercise regime. So, two draws in one afternoon, how unexpected. Well, tut tut! Away with you children. You best get to class before your teacher decides you won't be coming at all!" An innocent smile replaced Urahara's ever-present, knowing smirk.

Toushiro cocked an eyebrow at Kisuke as Isshin retreated with his sword away from Naruto, jumping back a few steps before re-sheathing it and walking to Kisuke's side. Toushiro went over to Naruto and held out his hand to help the blond stand, looking around once the other was on his feet.

"How do we get out of here?"

Isshin motioned a ladder and Toushiro's eyes followed it up slowly before his heart fell. "You've gotta be shitting me. That thing it so high, it'll take us hours to get to the top."

"There's a faster way," Isshin offered, Toushiro turning to look at him. The captain smirked. "Climb quickly."

Toushiro rolled his eyes and headed across the large expanse to the in-built ladder. "Come on, dumbass, we need to get to class."

Naruto nodded discontentedly, still unhappy at the default loss he had been dealt. "Fine, but you better climb faster than a monkey, Hitsu-teme." He followed the other boy to the ladder, looking up with a frown at the large distance they would have to cover. "And we fell down _that_. Holy crap, it's a miracle we're even standing."

"Bye, Whitey-chan, Sunshine-kun," Urahara called after them merrily, waving good-bye.

"So first we had nicknames, as we fought we had names, and now we're back to nicknames." Toushiro grunted as he hauled himself up, beginning the long climb up the ladder. He was already tired from the workout, so having to climb this meant he was going to be downright exhausted when they reached the top. He hoped Kidou wasn't too hard.

Naruto sighed, grasping the rings in his hands and already feeling the strain the fight had put on his muscles. And great, he had to climb an incredibly high ladder, too. If only the joy would stop before it killed him. He hauled himself up behind Toushiro, replying wearily, "We're never going to get their respect outside of a real fight, you know that right?"_ Pity, too. Those nicknames are horrible, and mighty embarrassing._

Toushiro grunted as he made his way to the top, pulling himself out and falling onto his back, breathing hard. "Man, I'm never going down there again." He panted, waiting for Naruto to emerge as well. He wondered if the blond had died or something.

"Me... neither," Naruto panted, falling to the ground on his stomach and just lying there as he emerged from the pit of hell, drained of all energy. "Carry me." His plea was more of a whine than anything.

"Yeah right." Toushiro laughed slightly. "As if I can move any more than you." He grunted and got up to his feet, wincing at the pain shooting through his muscles. He held out his hand to help Naruto up again. "Come on, we seriously need to get to class. That teacher is going to wonder what happened to us. Though maybe if we don't show up, they'll think we were killed and send someone after those two psychos." He laughed slightly.

"Seriously. They're crazy. Being a captain must be fun..." Naruto trailed off on that note, shaking his head. "Now, _I'm_ losing my mind." He groaned and tried to stand. "I hate that man! He made me so sore... I can't move," he whined once more, disregarding the hand Toushiro had offered him. He didn't need the other boy to keep helping him like he was a child who couldn't take care of himself.

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Isshin, after watching the two boys climb their way out, turned to Kisuke. "They're interesting, those two. We should keep an eye on them. I mean, a draw with you and me on their first try? Even if we weren't going all out, that's still not something you see every day. Our vice-captains can't even draw with us when we're at this level."

"Mhm," Urahara merely said, gaze still seemingly far off. "But wouldn't it be great if they rose through the ranks with all due haste? I would most certainly like to have one of them in my division. You know, we never did tell them about those two swords they have yet to return, nor our names and ranks." He smirked. "I believe that calls for another accidental meeting, don't you?"

"I thought we said they could keep those swords." Isshin scratched the back of his head. "And even if you hadn't said anything, I'd have demanded another accidental meeting. Those two are too much fun to just leave alone. But let me guess, you get Whitey-chan and I get Sunshine-kun?" Isshin smirked. "Because now, I really don't mind who I get. Both have talent. I look forward to watching them grow."

Urahara smirked. "What a coincidence, I feel the same way. So, tomorrow... we should have a little meeting with them. Maybe have... I don't know... lunch together? We're so nice... inviting them out for lunch. That's true kindness, you know." Another smirk.

"Of course, of course." Isshin smirked back. "I expect great things from them." He turned away from Kisuke. "Well, I best be off. I want to go find Tousen and ask him to be my vice-captain." He grinned and flickered out of sight.

"Damn him," Urahara cursed and flickered out sight just as fast. _He does know who he's messing with, doesn't he? I have tools, and I know how to use them!_ With that threat in mind, he went in search of Tousen before Isshin could find him and con him into becoming his vice-captain. The nerve of that Kurosaki!

Authors' Notes:

_Avril – There you have it, the second chapter of our story here. Hope you enjoyed it as much as we did writing it. Especially the scenes that include Urahara and Isshin. Man, those guys are fun to write. I want a Kisuke, just because. ;P And poor Toushiro, he had no idea what the Captains were first going on about._

_Sarge – Man, those fights were BRUTAL, but they were hella fun to write, ne ne Avril? Haha, Isshin and Kisuke are awesome, I wish we could have a side story from Kubo-sensei on just them and their past. That would be wicked XD_

_**Character Lists:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Urahara_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Isshin_

_Expect updates every Monday! ;P_


	3. Enter Freaky Brows, Stage Left

Chapter Three – Enter Freaky Brows, Stage Left

Toushiro and Naruto finally made their way out of the cave, looking around to judge where they were exactly. The platinum-haired boy was glad he had a good sense of direction; otherwise he would've been worried that they were lost.

"Come on, it's this way." He led the way towards the dining hall, wanting to get back there since he only remembered how to get to Kidou training from the dining hall. He suspected he and Naruto would get pulled away often by those two psychopaths, so he made a note to learn the layout of the school fairly fast.

After a few minutes, they reached the dining hall and Toushiro started walking towards their Kidou lesson with Naruto trailing after him. "It's a good thing Kurosaki-taichou told our teacher we'd be late, or we would be in serious trouble."

"Yeah." Naruto slouched slightly as he walked, the pain no less bearable. "Is there any way we can avoid the crazy ones? Because I don't want to be near them any more than absolutely necessary." He shivered. "They're scary. And not in a good way." Glancing around, Naruto straightened as he noticed a group of other trainee-uniformed Shinigami in the next courtyard over. "Ah, look, Toushiro! There they are!" He smiled, relieved that the climb and the walk had not been in vain.

Toushiro turned to look and grinned. "Perfect. We can just head over now and let the teacher know we've made it." As he was about to run, he realized he still had the sword tucked in his pants. He didn't like it there, but for now, it would have to do. He wondered what the teacher would say about it, but for now, he didn't care. He was going to keep it for a while.

He jogged slowly in the direction of the other students, stopping near the edge of the group as he looked around for the teacher, assuming he or she would be wearing black Shinigami robes. "I don't see the teacher," he muttered to himself with a frown.

A young man appeared before the students suddenly, handing out something to each in turn. He spotted the two standing off in the distance and raised a questioning eyebrow. _What do we have here?_ "Can I help you, gentlemen?"

Naruto blanched and looked over at Toushiro. This was their teacher? _Please God, tell me this isn't my teacher. He's a pretty boy for crying out loud!_

"Um, hi. Sorry we're late, but Kurosaki-taichou said he sent you a, um—a Hell Butterfly?" Toushiro tried to remember if that was right. "He and Urahara-taichou forced us to spar with them." He motioned the cut on his cheek that had dry blood caked beneath it. He hadn't really had time to wash it off. "We're really sorry; we would've come on time, but they kind of ambushed us and—we apologize." He bowed slightly, turning to throw a glare at Naruto so he would do the same.

Naruto took the hint, pouting and dropping into his own bow to appease the boy. _Hope the bastard's happy, my back hurts._ He whimpered and tried to straighten his back into an upright position once more. _I'm going to kill that old man next time I see him!_

"Oh, this thing?" The black-robed Shinigami instructor held up a rather dead looking butterfly by the wing. "It would seem it died on the way here. Excuses aren't tolerated in my class, you know. And this is rather pathetic. Hell butterflies only work properly for Shinigami who know how to use them. Only an idiot would kill the thing before it reached its destination." A sigh escaped the young man as he tapped his foot. "You know what this means, don't you? I'll have to assign you both detentions for tonight."

"Wait—what?" Toushiro demanded, completely dumbfounded. "It died? Wait, you can't just give us detention, I'm serious. Kurosaki-taichou sent that Hell Butterfly because he and Urahara-taichou fought us! How else do you think we got all beat up like this?" He motioned himself and Naruto. "And we even have the swords to prove it." He motioned the sword tied to his side. "Contact them now if you don't believe us, I'm serious. We're really sorry, we didn't mean to miss anything."

"What did I just say?" the instructor demanded. "I do not accept excuses. You were late, with no actual reason or proof to the contrary that you had permission not to attend, so you will face the consequences." He sniffed. "Don't make me repeat myself again."

The class giggled and laughed from their positions in the courtyard, pointing at the two new students who looked like they had been through a blender and put on whipped.

Naruto just stood there, dumbfounded. It seemed that Captain Kurosaki truly was the master of incompetence. If ever there was one.

Toushiro didn't know what to say. He turned to Naruto, opening his mouth, and then closing it again before turning back to the teacher. He really wanted to yell at him, but something told him that would be a bad idea. So, he just grumbled, crossing his arms and looking away from all the students laughing, waiting for the teacher to go on with the class so he could learn something before the end of the day.

He was going to give the so-called "Kurosaki-taichou" a piece of his mind the next time they met.

Naruto couldn't stand it any longer. "What the hell do you _mean_? We're fucking beat up in places you wouldn't care to look! Now, don't just stand there acting all lordly and high and mighty! I demand you fucking call those pricks and set the record straight! I'm sorer than I care to describe here! I ain't going to no detention tonight!You bastard!" His face was flushed from all the shouting, his anger boiling at the injustice the teacher had laid out before them. "**I won't stand for this!**" Not to mention he was still riled up from the fight and wanted to vent on _somebody._

Toushiro's eyes were so wide his eyeballs threatened to fall out of his head. _He didn't—he **didn't**!_ He turned to look at the teacher, absolutely horrified. _Oh, God, he is **so** dead! Thank God **I** kept my mouth shut!_

The young teacher raised his head imperiously with a blatant roll of his eyes. "I've heard the same stuff a thousand and one times, gaki. Like I'm going to give you what you want. Stand with the rest of the students and kindly be quiet. I shall continue the lesson like this never happened if you don't utter another word."

"**The fuck**!"

"Did I not say be quiet?" the instructor hissed through clenched teeth. "You're trying my patience."

"**Like you had any**!"

"Why you—" He stopped and collected himself, coughing. "Fine, if that's the way it is, then... a _week's_ worth of detention." There was a jeering sort of look to the young man's face. "Anything _else_ you want to say? Do tell, I'll just be increasing your amount of detentions by five each time you open your mouth."

"**I don't ca**—mfhfh." Naruto was cut off rather quickly by a hand on his mouth.

Toushiro had, at last, covered Naruto's big mouth. "Shut up!" he hissed. "We already have detention tonight, and if you don't stop mouthing off at the teacher, you're going to end up with an eternity's worth. Just calm down, we'll have Kurosaki-taichou and Urahara-taichou explain it to him later, all right?"

"Five, ten, fifteen, do you want more?" questioned the Shinigami teacher mockingly before directing his gaze to Toushiro specifically. "And, ah, I'm glad you're going to be joining him in those long days of detention. Wouldn't want him to go insane from solitude, now would we?"

Toushiro stared at the teacher with wide eyes, his hand still over Naruto's mouth. _Wait, what? What the fuck did **I** do?_ He didn't dare voice these words aloud, but he really, _really _wanted to. What the hell had he done to deserve this? He was making Naruto shut up so that he could keep teaching the class, and instead, he got detention _with _Naruto? That was just wrong, and Toushiro was going to be talking to—_someone_ about this!

The teacher narrowed his eyes pointedly before starting back on his previous lecture. "Now, as I was saying, the key to Kidou is concentration. You must train your mind sufficiently to make the best use of the demon arts. We'll begin with a low level Hadou spell. Who knows what Hadou #33 is?" It was a standard question that anyone who had read the textbook would know.

Naruto's blank expression gave testament to the fact he hadn't a clue what the man was going on about.

Toushiro rolled his eyes at the confused look on Naruto's face and would have answered, but someone else beat him to it.

"Yumichika-sensei?" Toushiro turned to look at the girl standing beside him. She looked very prim and proper with her hair tied back tightly and glasses resting on the bridge of her nose. "I believe I know the answer to that question."

"What do you want, a medal?" Toushiro mumbled under his breath. It was low enough that the only person who would've heard him was Naruto.

"Hadou #33 is Soukatsui, the translation for it being 'blue fireball'. The incantation for it is—"

"Oh ruler, mask of flesh and blood, all creations of the universe, fluttering of the wings, ye who bears the name of man. Trust and temperance, strike but slightly your claw upon this wall which feigns ignorance of sin," Toushiro interrupted, drawling out the long incantation in an almost bored fashion. The girl who had been replying turned to glare at him. Toushiro ignored her.

Yumichika sympathized with the girl, really he did. He could already tell these two were trouble. Glancing down, he took note of their names: Hitsugaya and Uzumaki. The detention teacher needed to be notified immediately of the soon-to-be familiar faces … they were just asking for punishment with their current attitudes. "And that, Hitsugaya-kun, is exactly why you will be accompanying your troublemaking friend. Ise-chan, if you would, could you state in your own words how Soukatsui can be used?" he asked politely of the incensed girl. She probably wasn't used to such rude behaviour from her classmates if the expression on her face was anything to go by.

Naruto snorted at Toushiro's earlier comment on the girl, but didn't dare say anything out-loud. It was all for nothing, however, since it seemed Yumichika was on a detention spree.

"Two more detentions added on to your first 22, by the way." A sweet, angelic smile from their pretty boy of a teacher. "Go on, Ise-chan."

"Gladly, Yumichika-sensei." The girl glared at Toushiro once more before reciting exactly what he had said, word for word. Toushiro rolled his eyes, his arms crossed. This was ridiculous. Their teacher was out to get them! By the end of the day, they would have enough detentions to last them their entire stay here in the school. Maybe even beyond graduation!

"This is so stupid," Toushiro muttered. "Who do you think the head is in this place? I wanna complain. We're totally being targeted," he whispered to Naruto in a conspiring tone.

The girl that Toushiro had interrupted raised her hand. "Excuse me, Yumichika-sensei? They're talking again." She motioned Naruto and Toushiro.

_I'm going to find out who that bitch is and kill her._ Toushiro's eyebrow twitched angrily.

"Two more detentions for talking," Yumichika stated crisply and then sent the students off in pairs to work on the spell incantation, walking around to observe and correct his students as needed.

Naruto couldn't hold in a laugh any longer. It was just too ironic. "Why's this place out to get us, Hitsu-teme? First those loons, now the pretty boy, what next?" He snorted and crossed his arms. "So, you know how to do this stuff?"

"Don't say that, dumbass, or we _will_ have something else," Toushiro muttered. "And yes, I happen to know how to do this. I'll shut that smug bastard of a teacher right up." With his hands, he placed the palm of his right against the inside of his left elbow, his left arm outstretched.

"Oh ruler, mask of flesh and blood, all creations of the universe, fluttering of the wings, ye who bears the name of man! Truth and temperance, strike but slightly your claw upon this wall which feigns ignorance of sin! Hadou #33, Soukatsui!"

A strong blue flame shot out of Toushiro's hand, slamming into a target that had to have been about five meters away and blowing the entire thing to smithereens. Toushiro lowered his hand with a smirk. _Kidou, check_, he thought to himself.

"Wow!" Naruto commented in awe, smiling. "Me next! Me next!" He copied Toushiro's earlier movements, recited the incantation, and aimed. A small fireball burst forth from the palm of his hand, starting out like an old car before finally dying and falling to the ground, turning to a simple ball of ash where it lay. "What the—? No fair!"

"Keep trying there, Uzumaki-kun," the teacher, Yumichika, commented from behind before moving on. A good distance away, he pulled out a mirror and fixed his hair, checking his complexion for any imperfections while he was at it.

Toushiro glared at Yumichika before getting back into position, Naruto beside him. "Hey, d'you think he's doing it on purpose? You know, conveniently not noticing me get it right when I'm the first one to have done it so far, and then showing up when you happened to bomb?" He glanced around. Everyone else's targets were still intact. Even the girl that he'd pissed off was having troubles, her fireball only getting a little bigger than Naruto's before disappearing.

Yumichika snapped his mirror shut and turned to continue his rounds, taking particular note of the girl who was getting quite frustrated with the spell as it kept extinguishing before she could throw it. "You're doing great work, Ise-chan, don't look so serious." He tapped her forehead. "You'll get wrinkles!"

Naruto stiffened when he heard the teacher speak. "It must be a conspiracy," he muttered back to Toushiro, agreeing with the boy. "It must be."

"Thank you, Yumichika-sensei." She smiled brightly. "And please, call me Nanao-chan." She bowed her head slightly.

Toushiro turned to Naruto. "Call me Nanao-chan, Yumichika-sensei.," he imitated before rolling his eyes, positioning himself again, and blasting white lightning out of his palm, hitting a target seven feet away. God, it felt good letting out his anger like this. Of course, because he had just done lightning instead of fire, Yumichika would probably yell at him for not following directions. Never mind the fact that lightning was harder to generate than fire. The two boys already knew the teacher was out to get them.

"Was that lightning just now?" Yumichika demanded at once, glaring at the two misfits standing nearby Nanao and her partner's work station. "Did I not say we would be working on a fire spell? Do you not care to follow my rules? They're there for a reason, you know."

Naruto scoffed under his breath and bit back an angry retort. Their instructor was so full of himself.

"I apologize," Toushiro said with a small bow. "I got frustrated and it just sort of happened." _Like I predicted, he doesn't care._ The boy turned to continue practicing when he noticed someone watching him and Naruto out of the corner of his eye. He turned and saw a dark figure leaning back against the wall of a nearby building. Dark eyes were watching the two boys intently, making Toushiro uneasy, but he ignored it, turning to Naruto.

"Your turn, dumbass. Try to upstage her while he's looking, will ya?"

Naruto rubbed at the back of his neck, the hairs there standing on end as if he was being watched. He shrugged off the feeling and nodded to Toushiro. "I'll give it my all this time." He closed his eyes and proceeded with the usual ritual, reciting and holding his arms appropriately. He took a breath and then opened his eyes, only to be disappointed as his fire shrivelled up and died. He almost wanted to cry. The day couldn't get any worse. No way it could. Stupid fireball, why wouldn't it just cooperate!

"So sad," Yumichika commented briefly and then walked over to the other people beside the pair.

"Is it just me, or do you wanna wring his scrawny little neck, too?" Toushiro inquired angrily as he blasted another fireball at a target. He couldn't seem to get past seven meters, which was still further than anyone else around them, so he wasn't too concerned. "We need to get you to improve so when we pass our exams, we can shove it in his freaky eye-browed face," he spat out angrily.

Naruto nodded, yawning. "I mean, what is _up_ with that eyebrow? Is it supposed to mean something? Like he can only mate with apes?" He snorted and tried the fireball spell again. "I don't get why this stupid thing isn't working for me, though. Am I doing something differently than you, Hitsu-teme?"

Toushiro scratched the back of his head with a frown. "Well, I don't think so, but what you said is kinda weird. I mean, you broke Kaien-dono's machine when he was measuring spirit energy, so maybe it's not turned on right now or something?" Toushiro shrugged. "There's gotta be a reason, but I'm sure you'll get it. It's all about controlling your spirit energy. I only know how to do it because I used to practice shunpo on the streets."

The sound of something exploding made Toushiro jump and he turned to see Nanao giggling, looking excitedly at a target two meters away. He snorted. His was seven meters away, but he was sure Yumichika would praise her on her achievement. _Whatever_, he turned back to Naruto.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he heard the predicted squeals of joy from Yumichika as he gushed over Nanao's work, praising her to the high heavens.

"Absolutely fantastic, Nanao-chan! Fantastic doesn't even begin to describe your accomplishment! It only took you seven tries to get that far. Amazing! Brilliant."

The boy suddenly felt sick to his stomach. "Ugh, is that the most disturbing thing you've ever seen or what?" he asked Toushiro, pointing in the direction of the Shinigami teacher embracing Nanao as if she were an esteemed daughter.

"Tell me about it. My seven meters puts her two meters to shame, but whatever." He shrugged. "It's just about the end of class, anyway, since we arrived so late. I'm fine with the fireball, so you go ahead and use up the rest of the time yourself to try and get it to work." Toushiro crossed his arms as he stood beside Naruto, shifting uncomfortably with the sword in his belt. He pulled it out and stared at it, noticing a sash going across it. Frowning, he pulled it out and slung it over one shoulder, smiling now that he was more comfortable with the sword securely on his back. He liked that.

Naruto glanced at Toushiro and smirked. "Aw, don't you look cute with your sword! But to think... it has Captain -cooties." He gagged and pretended to shiver. "Oh, that reminds me..." He pulled his own sword out from where he had forgotten about it, having stuck it into the obi that held the top of his Gi closed. He tugged at the sash that Toushiro had just now noticed was attached to each of the swords and slung it across his back as well, the hilt over the opposite shoulder. "There, much better. It felt like that sword was disrupting my progress." He frowned. "Is that even possible?"

"With you, probably." Toushiro smirked. "But it's cool you and I are kind of similar—except for the fact that, you know, you suck at this and I don't." He snickered slightly. "Come on, keep practicing."

The platinum-haired boy turned his head slightly to look at the figure he'd noticed earlier. He was still leaning against the wall, and Toushiro wished he could see him more clearly. He was starting to freak the young boy out, what with him just standing there, his eyes fixed on Toushiro and Naruto. He hoped their class would end soon so they could get away from him.

"All right, stop what you're doing," Yumichika interrupted the students from their hard work. "That's all for today. You can leave for your next class now." He smiled cheerfully and waved. "Have a great day, kids!"

Naruto grumbled, arms falling back to his sides and cursing. He had almost had it. With the sword on his back he had had better control over the immense power that was just waiting to be used. Coming to a decision, he took off his sword and handed it to Toushiro. "Here, hold this for a moment, Hitsu-teme, I wanna try something." He dropped his hands back into the required positions and recited the incantation as the students slowly began to depart the courtyard, Yumichika ushering them out.

Toushiro waited, ignoring everyone who had begun to walk away. As soon as the last word from the incantation left Naruto's mouth, the white-haired boy standing beside him flew off his feet from the rush of power that was emitting from Naruto's hand. He felt the heat from where he sat about a meter away, the fire burning his face slightly and the ends of his hair becoming singed. He stared with wide eyes, unable to look away, as a long line of bright blue flame erupted out of Naruto's palm, going well past fifteen meters.

_Kami-sama..._ Toushiro's hands were shaking, his right hand still clenched around Naruto's sword.

00000

Isshin would've been fried if he'd stayed leaning against the wall he'd been at all lesson, but he'd moved at the last second, avoiding the tail-end of the flames. He watched Naruto and Toushiro, the blond with his hand still extended, and the other boy sitting on the ground in shock._ So Toushiro can do it on the first try, and Naruto has explosive power. Better let Urahara know before he heads off to watch them during their next class._ The captain turned and disappeared.

00000

Naruto blinked a few times, the tingling sensation running throughout his body increasing in intensity. _How... strange..._ he thought. Wasn't it supposed to decrease after the spell was cast? What was this strong surge of power, anyway? It was starting to make him feel light-headed.

The explosion had halted the class on their way out of the courtyard, even Yumichika turned to see what the commotion was about. The students gasped as if one entity and started screaming in terror, the flames still ablaze around the area Naruto had hit. It truly was a sight to behold.

"Naruto?" Toushiro whispered shakily, struggling back to his feet as he regarded the other boy. "Are you okay? Hey, can you hear me?" He put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and suddenly, he couldn't breathe. He felt an indescribably large weight pushing down on him, almost like an unseen force was trying to crush him. His knees shook and he struggled to inhale, but couldn't. His hands went slack, dropping the sword Naruto had handed to him as he fell to his knees.

The second his hand left Naruto's shoulder, he gasped in a lungful of air, coughing slightly before looking up at the blond's face from his position on the ground. _What-what the hell **was** that? What happened? I've never felt like that before. Was it Naruto?_

Naruto shook his head, trying to clear his jumbled thoughts and shake off the feeling he was experiencing. It was no use. He fainted before he realized what had happened, slumping against Toushiro before sliding down to the ground.

Yumichika paused in mid-step when he saw the blond boy faint. He would admit his curiosity was peeked, but he decided to ignore them for the moment and calm down the class before someone—like a captain—witnessed his students running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"Naruto?" Toushiro was glad he wasn't feeling the same thing as before when he held the blond now, shaking him slightly. "Naruto! Can you hear me? Hey!"

"Is he all right?" Toushiro looked up to see the bitch—Ise Nanao—crouched beside him and Naruto, inspecting the blond worriedly. "What happened? Why did he faint like that?"

"I-I don't know," Toushiro admitted, looking down at the blond. "He just—" The boy cut himself off. Would it be a good idea to tell everyone about what Naruto had just done? It was causing a panic, and if they found out it was _him _who did it... he didn't want to risk it. "He just fainted for no reason. The whole area erupted and he fainted."

"Was he hit?" She looked at Toushiro, then frowned. "You look more injured than he does, your face is burned."

Toushiro said nothing. He didn't know _what_ to say.

00000

Naruto groaned, clutching at his head as he came to, the loud voices that acted as his alarm clock were as persistent as ever. "Would you guys give it a break? My head _hurts_, dammit." He smothered his head under a pillow. "I need sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. Blissful, uninterrupted sleep. I feel like I got ran over and sent to hell. Wait, no, that's not right. I'm already there. Haha."

"Shit, Naruto, are you okay?" Toushiro asked, ignoring Nanao as she continued to argue with him. He was more concerned about the blond. "Thank Kami you're awake. What the hell happened? One second you were fine, and the next, you were passing out."

"Like I keep _telling _you, he was hit with whatever it was that torched the entire area," Nanao snapped, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, it's the only logical explanation. The lack of burns just suggests that the center of the flames wasn't hot at all."

"That's a little backwards, Nanao-_chan_," Toushiro teased, the girl huffing and crossing her arms before looking away.

"Fine, see if I ever worry about _you_ again."

"First of all, you were worried about Naruto, not me, and second of all, no one asked you to be worried. In case you didn't notice, _I'm_ the one who carried him all the way here."

"Ugh, didn't I tell you two to _shut up_," the blond complained, snuggling deeper into the blankets in weak protest. "I'm not moving from this spot. It's so nice and warm and comfortable, and completely free of insane people. Minus you two, of course." He grinned into the pillow.

"Hey, did you not hear me?" Toushiro hit Naruto in the shoulder. "I _carried_ you. _Again_. It seems to be a common occurrence between you and me. You have to stop passing out or whatever, cause I'm getting sick of carrying you everywhere. You're not the lightest person in the world, and you drooled on me." He winced, motioning his shoulder, where it was clear a patch of his Gi was darker than the rest. "_Drooled_, dumbass. It was gross. I'm going to have to rub disinfectant on my shoulder or something."

"Will you stop complaining, can't you tell he's injured?"

"Injured? What do you know, are you a doctor?"

"Well, I could be," Nanao snapped back.

Naruto repeatedly slammed his head against the soft, cushy pillow, wishing—no longing—for it to be something more substantial... like a brick wall. Yeah, that would do. Anything to put him back into unconsciousness and out of earshot from those two. They were getting on his nerves. What was with them? Did Toushiro have a crush or something? He paused, contemplating that last idea before smirking into his pillow. His stomach suddenly growled, seemingly going against its master's wish to sleep more. Obviously it wanted food and wouldn't be appeased any other way. _Damn._ "Hey, lovebirds, what time is it? How long was I out?"

"Lovebirds?" Nanao asked, appalled.

"You're an idiot." Toushiro rolled his eyes. "And you've been out for about two hours. It's almost the end of lunch. We have Hakuda afterwards, so we're going to need the energy. You up for grabbing some food?"

"I suppose so."

"I wasn't asking you," Toushiro said dryly, giving Nanao a look.

"Then why were you directing it to me?" she demanded.

"I was asking Naruto," he exclaimed. "You're an even bigger idiot than he is!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that! I hit the two meter mark in Kidou." She sniffed.

"And I hit the seven, only no one noticed since the freaky-eyebrow guy didn't care to mention it cause he's out to get the two of us." He turned back to Naruto. "Dumbass. Food?"

"Yeah, I won't be getting any sleep, now, thanks to you two bickering non-stop." He pushed away from the pillow and threw the cover back, sluggishly getting up and rubbing his head. "Did you remember to bring that sword, Hitsu-teme?" the blond questioned, stretching out his stiff muscles with a loud yawn. "And man, hand-to-hand combat right after lunch? Damn, that sucks."

Toushiro motioned the sword resting against the wall beside the blond's bed, his own still strapped to his back. He stood up from the chair he'd been sitting in, waiting for Naruto to be ready.

Nanao stood up from her seat, as well, smoothing out her Gi before glaring at the two boys. "Well, if I'm not invited for lunch with you two, I suppose I'll go find someone _else_ to eat with."

"Okay," Toushiro said simply, waiting for Naruto.

Nanao let out an insulted scoff before storming out of the room, neither boy saying a word as she left. Once the door was slammed—rather loudly, too—Toushiro moved a bit closer to Naruto. "Hey, what the hell was that out there?" he whispered. "I didn't tell anyone what really happened, but—you scared the shit out of me."

Naruto glanced at Toushiro, faking a smile. "Uh, it was a fluke?" He walked over and grabbed the sword, strapping to his back like before. Sighing, he turned to face the platinum-haired boy again. "Look, I really don't know how to describe it... it just happened." Rubbing sheepishly at the nape of his neck, he stepped closer. "Let's just keep it a secret for now, okay? We'll figure it out eventually…"

"I hope so, because— You didn't see yourself." Toushiro shivered even remembering it. "Your face was just completely emotionless, and once it passed, you were swaying on the spot. I went to help you, but when I touched you—" he cut himself off, trying to find the words to describe the feeling that had washed over him. "It felt like someone was squeezing my body. I couldn't breathe and I could barely even stand. It was like your reiatsu was so high it was actually crushing the air and everything else near you. The feeling only went away when you passed out." Toushiro sighed, rubbing his face. "This is serious, we need to talk to someone about this, but there isn't really anyone we can tell. The only person I trust is Kaien-dono, but we don't even know how to get in touch with him."

Naruto shrugged half-heartedly. "But would he even know the answer? And hey, what if those loons know how to contact him? Didn't they say they knew Kaien-dono?" He frowned slightly. "But, forget it, all right? It was probably nothing. Like I said, it was probably just… you know, a fluke. I mean, I never got it right before, so why did I just happen to get it right then? And with such an incredible burst of power?"

"I don't know, Naruto, but I just— We need to talk to someone about this, it's not _normal_. I've never seen anyone with that much reiatsu, and I've seen my fair share of Shinigami. There's this one captain named Kenpachi Zaraki, and you're putting _him_ to shame with that fireball you did. I don't know if it's because of who you are, your past, or what, but there's something up with your body and your reiatsu level, and we need to find out what it is, otherwise someone could get hurt." Toushiro rubbed his face slightly, as if emphasizing the fact. The ends of his hair was _singed_, for crying out-loud, and his face was burned as if he'd been out in the sun too long.

Naruto looked down, his frown deepening. "Sorry," he muttered softly. "I… I did that, huh?" What if he hurt more people? Maybe Toushiro was right. Maybe they should tell someone. "But for right now, why don't we grab something to eat!" He was suddenly back to his usual happy self, bouncing up to Toushiro's side and looping his arm through the other boy's. "Let's go, Hitsu-teme!"

Toushiro smiled slightly before punching Naruto in the arm and heading for the door, exiting it with him. "I hope there's still food left. We were gone for a while, and it's almost the end of lunch. We're gonna have to eat fast, or else we'll be late for our next class, and seeing as how we were late for our first and missed our second completely, I think we need to make it on time for our third. We're not really giving people the best first impression of us." He chuckled slightly. "And don't worry about going out of control. After you broke Kaien-dono's machine, I've kinda been expecting great things from you." He smirked slightly.

"Oh, I'm flattered," Naruto responded in kind, his tone dry. "All I want is food. Plus, I don't know how you call being almost fried a great expectation. Please enlighten me, oh wise one, for us beneath you have no idea what the hell you're talking about." He grinned. "But you have to admit, those singed split ends probably are doing all the better for it, ne?"

Toushiro rolled his eyes, shoving Naruto slightly as they entered the cafeteria. "All I'm saying is that the blue flames you'd started with disappointed the hell out of me when I knew you broke Kaien-dono's machine thing. Once the huge blast happened at the end, it made a little bit more sense." Toushiro frowned as they got in line. "Though I have to wonder why it took you so long to finally release all that energy. Seems a little fishy to me, but then again, what do I know about reiatsu?" He shrugged and grabbed a bowl of soup and some water.

Naruto did likewise and took a seat, gulping down some water before answering the other boy. "Well, I admit, I didn't expect those flames to be so weak... but I swear, it was like something had plugged up my... 'reiatsu,' as you keep calling it. It was really weird. Then I had you hold this sword," he gestured to the blade on his back, "and I was fine. Or it could have been all the people around? Once they left, it happened, so that could be why." He shrugged. "Dunno. It's a mystery. And hey, during that Kidou class, did you get the weird feeling we were being watched?" He slurped down some of his soup as he waited for a reply.

"First of all, it wouldn't make sense that you could suddenly do it when nobody but me was watching, and secondly, someone _was_ watching us." He rolled his eyes at the blond. "And you say you were a ninja before you died. How did you not notice the dark figure standing against the wall that you eventually torched?" He frowned, his spoon halfway to his mouth. "Come to think of it, I wonder if he got barbecued. If he didn't move in time, he's seriously dead."

Shrugging, he went back to eating, not really concerned. The man had been spying on him and Naruto. If he got barbecued, that was his own fault and not at all Toushiro's concern.

"It is weird, though, that you felt like your reiatsu was all plugged up." He frowned, then tilted his head slightly. "Then—you said when you gave me the sword, it was fine again." He bit his bottom lip, thinking.

"Yeah," Naruto mused, twirling the spoon in his soup. "After that, it felt like whatever was stopping me was removed and I just got this huge rush of power again. It was really hard to control, and even after I had used half of it up when I blasted off that spell... it still felt like it was steadily increasing. I guess I couldn't handle it all and fainted... It was really weird, you know? It was almost like when..." He halted mid-sentence, his thoughts straying back to the times he had called upon the fox's chakra to aid him in battle. But this power, it felt like it was all his. Then why couldn't he control it? What was going on?

"So basically, once the sword was gone, you felt like the plug was gone?" Toushiro stared at Naruto's sword. "Tell me, now that it's back on your back, can you feel the reiatsu tingling through your body? Like, this morning, remember how you felt before we met up with the captains? Do you feel the same way, or does it feel like your reiatsu is blocked again?" Toushiro was getting incredibly suspicious.

Naruto gave Toushiro a strange look, but thought about what the other boy was saying. Now that it had been brought to his attention, it did feel like the plug was back. He was feeling more antsy, too, than he had when he'd been lying peacefully in the hospital bed. It was almost as if his body was being denied of something it craved. "That's strange... it's like I feel numb. Nothing, nada, zilch... I can't feel what I felt earlier." His eyes widened. "You don't think—?"

"Naruto, give me the sword." Toushiro held his hand out for it. Now that he thought about it, when he'd touched Naruto earlier and had felt like he couldn't breathe, he himself had been holding the sword. If it really did what he thought it did, it would explain why he'd reacted the way he had when touching Naruto's shoulder.

He waited patiently for the other boy to un-strap his sword, being sure to focus on how his body felt, aware of all the reiatsu flowing through him. He concentrated hard on the feeling of it as he waited for the sword to fall into his hand.

The blond quickly pulled his sword out and laid the hilt in Toushiro's hand. Once the blade left him, he felt his own reiatsu return with a rush, blinking a few times to overcome the strong feeling that washed over him now that nothing was stopping the reiatsu from flowing properly. "Woah," was the only intelligent thing he could think of to say, staring at Toushiro with raised eyebrows. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, my friend?"

Toushiro glared down at the sword as he held it, feeling his own reiatsu plugged up now that he held it. "That damn bastard. I can't believe he did this to you." He looked up at Naruto. "This was a blatant attack on you, because I feel totally fine with my own sword." Putting Naruto's sword down on the table, Toushiro removed his own from his back and handed it to Naruto. "Do you feel any different when you hold my sword?" He himself felt no difference when the sword left his hand.

Naruto shook his head. "None. What's with that Urahara guy? Why would he do that to me? And only me? I didn't piss in _his_ wheaties," he grumbled under his breath. "He wasn't even fighting me! I should have just asked the old man for a sword. At least he gives out _regular_ ones." He huffed and handed the sword back to Toushiro. "So what now? We return it?"

Toushiro frowned down at Naruto's sword as he put his own back where it belonged. "I'm more concerned with why he targeted you." He folded his hands together and propped his elbows up on the table, a thoughtful frown on his face. "We were new here, nobody knew us but Kaien-dono. On our first day, we conveniently run into two people who want to fight us, both of whom conveniently have an extra sword each." His frown deepened. "It's possible that Kaien mentioned you breaking his reiatsu measurer and Urahara-taichou wanted to see just how much you had. What if the person watching us at Kidou was doing so to report back? Don't you find it strange that we were targeted to begin with? I mean, my reiatsu level may be higher than normal, but yours is off the charts. You'd be an interesting experiment." He bit his bottom lip before standing up. "Come on."

Picking up his sword and re-sheathing it on his back, Naruto followed behind the other boy warily. "Where are we going now? Class? And your theory seems awfully long and drawn out, don't you think? What if you're way off base and it was just an accident? It can happen." The blond shrugged, brushing frayed bangs out of his face in annoyance. "And I don't like you calling me some kind of experiment... I mean, what kind of human being would do that to another? Oh, wait... I forgot there's plenty of people who would." He sighed. "Fine, fine. So, I'll just humour you. Why would two _Captains_ target us? That really makes no sense. If they were just random people, I could understand it a bit better, but these people have everything to lose and hardly anything to gain from that."

"Look, every division in the Gotei 13 has a purpose. One of them is the division for the Research Institute of Technology. If the captain of that division just so happens to be Urahara, wouldn't that explain a lot? I mean, yes, it's weird we were targeted by captains, but you're interesting enough for people to _want_ to target you, and who other than the head of the Research Institute? Seriously, he's up to something. You're like his own personal guinea pig, which is why I want to find another Shinigami and ask if Urahara-taichou is the head of that division." They were outside by now, and he looked around. His eyes found two other Shinigami arguing, one wearing a pink haori over his normal Shinigami robes. The other just had the normal white overcoat, showing his captain rank. "Perfect." He headed towards them.

Naruto trailed after, not seeing why exactly they had to ask _them_. Those men were arguing just like Urahara and Kurosaki had been... it was almost too eerie. Why did Captains like arguing in front of the trainee Academy and just randomly showing up in courtyards? Was it out of habit or something?

"Um, excuse me?" Toushiro asked, the white-haired captain in front of him holding up one finger to halt the other captain's protests so he could turn to look at Toushiro. "I was just—"

"Oh my god!" The boy jumped a mile high at the scream and was suddenly wrapped in a bear-like hug. "Your hair is the same colour as mine! This is so rare! Oh, how exciting! Look, Shunsui!"

Toushiro sighed. _Why are all captains crazy?_ He truly did wonder why.

"Excuse me, I just have a question, then I need to be off to class. Is Urahara-taichou head of the Research Institute of Technology?" The boy struggled to get free of the bear-hug.

Shunsui turned his laughter into a cough. Insulting his friend during this crucial argument would get him nowhere. "Yes, Jyuu-chan, now please calm down before the boy dies of embarrassment." He glanced over at the other boy who was standing behind the white-haired one, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, that sword looks rather familiar. Doesn't it, Jyuu-chan? Is that why you want to know about Urahara, that old pervert?"

Naruto paled. _Oh, great. The man's a **pervert** to boot. Good thing we'll most likely never see them again. Well, if we do, I'll just let Hitsu take care of it and run like hell. Yeah, sounds like a plan._

Toushiro finally got free of the overzealous man and stumbled back a step. "Yes, please. He gave my friend that sword, and I wanted to ask him a few things about it."

"Well, to answer your question, yes, he is the head of that particular division. Why, what's wrong with the sword?" inquired the white-haired man curiously.

Toushiro turned to look at Naruto before laughing slightly, rubbing the back of his head as he looked back at the captain before him. "Uh, nothing, nothing at all. We just—wanted to return it. We also need to speak to Kurosaki-taichou for making us get a month's worth of detention." The last part, about the detentions, was grumbled under his breath. "Well, thanks for your time."

He started to turn in order to leave, but a hand fell on his shoulder. "Excuse me, were you aware of the fact that you have a cut with dry blood on your face?" Toushiro's hand flew up to it. He had completely forgotten about it. "And both of you have singed hair. Just what are the teachers teaching you nowadays?"

Naruto laughed a little to cover up Toushiro's awkward pause. "It's nothing! Really, nothing at all. We were just goofing off in class and things went a little... uh... haywire. Yeah," he finished lamely, scratching at his nose and darting his eyes from one captain to the other. He'd hate to see what they both would think if _all_ their wounds were revealed. How would they explain _that_ away? "Let's go, Hitsu. We're going to be late again if we don't hurry..." he trailed off, wincing at how familiar that sounded.

Shunsui had his own curiosity peeked by now, and he wouldn't let those two children get away until he got some answers. "Hold on a minute, kids. All you want to do is return that sword? Hn, we can do that for you, if you'd like." He grinned at the tall, white-haired captain that had his hand resting on the other boy's shoulder still. "What do you say, Jyuu-chan? It's not too out of our way or anything."

"Out of our way? Oh, no, no, no." The white-haired man shifted so he was hugging Toushiro from behind, the boy stiff. "Stay, we can help you get the swords back but … for a price." He smiled pleasantly. "Spar with us! If you have swords from Urahara and Kurosaki, you're obviously worth our time. Those two don't just give away swords. You must've left an impression! What are your names, anyway?"

"What's the point in telling you, you'll just give us nicknames, anyway." Toushiro sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. They were _never_ getting to their next class on time.

"Try us. My name is Ukitake Jyuushiro. Thirteenth Division, Captain rank. And yours?" He smiled pleasantly.

"Hitsugaya Toushiro."

"Oi, Jyuu-chan, why sparring?" Shunsui sulked. He wasn't very partial to fighting day in and day out. He would much rather be doing something more constructive. "How about... I don't know? A friendly game of cards? Loser buys booze."

Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief and looked helplessly at Toushiro. _Please, no. We must escape! _He hoped the other boy got the message he was trying to convey.

"Shunsui, _what_ were we just discussing?" Jyuushiro sighed, coughing into his hand slightly. "You have a gambling problem, we need to get you _out_ of it. You're also starting to get a drinking problem. I heard you showed up to the last Gotei 13 meeting _drunk_."

Toushiro caught Naruto's gaze and motioned for them to start inching away. As the two started tip-toeing backwards, Jyuushiro's hand shot out, the captain still facing Shunsui, and grabbed the back of his Gi, practically choking him.

"You know you can't keep gambling all the time." He turned to Toushiro and smiled. "Sorry, he's rather rude and never introduces himself. That's my best friend, Kyoraku Shunsui. And your friend's name is?" He motioned Naruto, whose arm Toushiro had grabbed when his own escape had been thwarted.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"Oh! Shunsui, it's the guy Kaien-kun was telling Yamamoto-sensei about!"

"Oh?" Shunsui cocked his head, amused. "Really? Kaien-kun was telling Yama-jii about that squirt?" He pointed to Naruto who puffed up like an angry pigeon, chest expanding and face flushing.

"Hey, who are you calling a squirt? I'll have you know I'm taller than him!" Naruto gestured wildly to Toushiro, almost slapping the boy in the face. "Hitsu-teme, let me go! Shouldn't one of us escape and... and bring back up?" he whined, tugging at his arm and trying to free himself. If anything, the white-haired boy's grip tightened. _And once again... damn._

"Aww... aren't they cute, Jyuu-chan?" Shunsui crowed, walking over and wrapping Naruto up in a hug. "Well, if Kaien-kun said good things about you, then you must be interesting! Come, have tea (and sake!) with us!"

Toushiro smirked at Naruto with a very obvious if-I-suffer-then-so-do-you look. He knew Naruto wouldn't bring backup, anyway. The blond would just run and leave him to the mercy of these two new psychos. _Honestly, are **any** of the captains normal? I've yet to meet a damn normal one. These crazy people are starting to scare me. Kami knows if **I** ever become a captain, I'm not going to be like **this**!_

"Um, we'd love to, uh, Kyoraku-taichou, but we actually have to go to class. Hakuda and all." He tried to get free of Jyuushiro's hold. "And also, um, wasn't it _Naruto _you wanted as opposed to me? I'm just boring, nothing interesting about me at all."

"Kaien-kun said that the guy who came with Naruto-kun was just as impressive, so that must be you." He pinched Toushiro's cheek. The boy was considering biting his hand off. "I'm so excited about all this."

Naruto couldn't say much, what with being pinned to Shunsui's chest and trying his best not to _suffocate_, but he sure got a chuckle out of Ukitake's rebuttal to Toushiro.

"The tea house it is!" declared Shunsui, laughing heartily and crushing Naruto even closer.

The blond's oxygen supply was momentarily gone and he gasped, eyes flying wide. He pounded on the man's chest as hard as he could. _Need... air!_

Shunsui, oblivious, didn't quite get the hint.

"Yes, let's go!" Jyuushiro started dragging Toushiro along, turning to call over his shoulder. "And you might not want to crush Naruto-kun to your chest, I doubt he's able to breathe very well."

"You're talking?" Toushiro choked out, being dragged by the back of his Gi. "We have class!"

"We'll send a Hell Butterfly!"

"The last time a Captain said that, we ended up with detentions!"

"You worry too much."

"**You don't worry enough**!"

Shunsui "ohhed" and released his strong hold on Naruto. "Hn, maybe you aren't as tough as Kaien-kun gave you credit for."

Naruto breathed in sweet air and pointed a shaky finger at the crazy, pink-covered Captain. "**You are insane**!"

"Why thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment!"

"I know, but I tend to re-word insults into the form of compliments inside my head." A nice, kind, warm smile curved onto Shunsui's lips. Naruto doubted that meant anything good. "We're being left behind, Naruto-kun! Come on!" He slung an arm around the blond's shoulders, ignoring the "eep" of objection that followed such an action.

_May the devil have mercy on my soul,_ he thought solemnly, slumping in defeat as Shunsui dragged him after Jyuushiro and his roommate.

00000

Toushiro groaned, one of Naruto's arms slung over his shoulder as he helped support the blond's weight while the other boy himself helped support Toushiro's.

"I can't feel my legs," he whined. "And the blood on my face is permanently caked there." He continued onward with a short moan. "And my hair is burned." He groaned. "This was the worst day ever, and it's only our first day at the academy. I say we forever avoid Ukitake-taichou, Kyoraku-taichou, Kurosaki-taichou and Urahara-taichou." He frowned. "They all start with K or U, that'll be a good way to remember them. If we meet any more captains whose names start with K or U, we run, deal?"

Naruto frowned slightly. "But wait a moment, doesn't Kaien-dono's name start with a K, too? Should we run from him? I mean, he is prone to random kicking..." Naruto moaned in pure anguish and leaned his weight further against Toushiro. "Please, just kill me now. Put me out of my misery. I don't think I'll be able to survive a whole year here, no less 200 or more. Spare me the pain!"

"Naruto-kun! Hitsugaya-kun!" There was a soft gasp and they turned their heads to see Momo waiting at their room's entrance, standing there all alone as she waited for her friends' return. "What happened to you two? Are you hurt? Did something happen? Should I inform someone? And if so, who?" She immediately rushed over and inspected the dried blood on Toushiro's cheek, trailing her index finger over the healing wound. "How-how did you two get so...?" She didn't know what to say. Had their first day been a disaster? And here she was off making new friends and laughing and having a general good time...

"One second," Toushiro said to Momo before turning to Naruto. "Kaien-dono's name is Shiba Kaien, so he doesn't fall under that category." He turned back to Momo. "Captains did this to us, not to mention they caused us to have over two months worth of detention." He sighed. "Dammit, who would've thought our teacher for Hakuda was that eyebrow-freak again? And how _convenient_ that the Hell Butterfly died _again_. Do you think he's just lying?" Toushiro asked Naruto as he helped drag him into their room. "I mean, he _is_ out to get us—but it'd be so mean to kill the poor, innocent little butterfly. It's just trying to make a living and there that eyebrow freak is, killing the poor things. He's probably jealous of their eyebrows."

Naruto nodded sagely in return. "I bet he is. He'd never have perfectly sloped eyebrows like them butterflies... pretty, pretty butterflies."

"**Oh my God, what has this place done to you?**" Momo marched into the room behind them and shut the door afterwards. "That's it, we're leaving. I'm not letting captains take advantage of you like this!" She helped the two boys sit down on the closest bed. "I won't stand for this." There was a decisive ring to her voice. "You're going to lose your minds here if you stay." She checked their forehead for fevers and then walked over to the bathroom to grab a cold, wet rag to wash them up a bit.

"We're fine. Really," Toushiro insisted. "As long as, you know, we avoid people with creepy eyebrows, and any and all captains with names starting with K or U." He frowned before turning to Naruto. "Come to think of it, aren't they the only people we met all day? That's a little concerning. We didn't meet a single normal person. Did you, Momo? Cause Kami-sama knows I'm not staying if there isn't at least _one_ normal person. I can't be the only normal person. Well, especially not now, since I'm going crazy. Oh crap, I'm babbling cause I've gone insane!" He clutched at his hair and tugged. "Dammit! I'm going nuts!"

Naruto nodded again, this time with a sad look. "It was bound to happen. This day has mentally scarred us for life. A zillion times over, I'm sure." He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. "Please, Momo-chan, please tell me there's a nice, sane person here—besides you, that... that won't do horrible, crazy things to us."

Momo laughed a bit nervously as she entered the room again and started wiping the blood from Toushiro's cheek. "Well, there's my roommate, I suppose. Though she is a little... ditzy." Another tentative giggle. "Oh! And there's Rukia-chan, she's so sweet and showed me around..." She trailed off, thinking. "But come to think of it, all the teachers and such seemed a bit... insane?"

"Did you have crazy captains dragging you off by the collar for tea, too?" Toushiro inquired. "Cause between sparring with Urahara-taichou, getting thirty detentions from Yumichika-sensei, getting my hair singed and my face burned off by Naruto, being dragged off by the collar by Ukitake-taichou, getting _more _detentions from Yumichika-sensei—I'm seriously starting to wonder if any of the adults here are normal. Now I know Naruto's not an adult, but I needed to remind him of the fact that he almost burned my face off."

"Hey! I thought you said that was some 'great expectation' realized!" Naruto pouted, crossing his arms and flopping backwards onto the bed. He sat up abruptly when he heard something down the hallway.

"Momo!" someone screamed down the corridor in a bright, chipper voice. "Momo, where aaaaaaareeeee yoooouuuuuuu?" There was a huff. "I've been wandering around for ten minutes, I'm getting bored. Mooooooooooooomooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Momo's eyes went impossibly wide and she let out a small "eep" before diving for the bed so the boy's hid her from sight and saying a quick, "Hide me! Don't let her know I'm here!"

"Why?" Naruto asked, smiling senselessly. He was practically dead to world at this point from sheer exhaustion alone. "Did you do something?"

"No! But she's stalking me!" came the muffled reply as Momo burrowed under the covers. And, of course, there was nothing suspicious about a lump in the bed. Nothing at all.

Naruto rolled his eyes and sighed tiredly. "I give up at this point. Sure, we'll run with that the fib for you, so no need to worry; anything else, Momo-chan?"

"Um... be scared?"

"Momo?" There was a knock on the door. "Momo, was that you?"

"That voice sounds alarmingly familiar." Toushiro muttered, screwing up his face in thought. "Where have I heard that voice before? I know I've heard it before."

The door flew open, and the first thing Toushiro saw was breasts practically falling out of a Gi. His face paled as he recognized the girl before him, her red hair falling over her shoulders.

"HITSU-KUN!" She shrieked, bolting for him and wrenching him off the bed as she hugged him tightly. His face was buried in her bosom.

_Find a happy place. Find a happy place! **Find a happy place**!_ Toushiro's brain screamed at him as he clenched his eyes shut.

"God, it's been forever, Hitsu-kun!" She pulled away. "Momo! I found you!" She poked the pile of blankets. "What are you doing under there? Why are you even in Hitsu-kun's room?"

"Matsumoto... Rangiku?" Toushiro asked, almost afraid it would be true.

Authors' Notes:

_Avril – Hitsu and his butterfly comment crack me up every time. It's all about the eyebrows … all about the eyebrows. ;P We have quite a ways to go with this story, but hopefully it'll be worth the wait. And we promise to keep you entertained throughout every chapter. ;P Look forward to more soon! Now that my little rambling is over, anything to add, my wonderful friend?_

_Sarge – Aww, so kind. Are you sure you wanna let me have some time to write something? I might be here a while :P haha. But yeah, like Avril said—fun as all hell to write, and we hope y'all enjoy We'll try our best to keep y'all entertained XD_

_**Character Lists:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Momo, Yumichika, Shunsui_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Nanao, Ukitake, Rangiku_

_And why yes, this is a semi-Bleach AU ... considering we're taking canon facts and changing some things along the way. Sorry for all the confusion. We've been getting a lot of reviews about that. XD Hope you guys still enjoy the story! _


	4. Feel Like a Woman? Indeed

_(A short recap) Last week we left off here:_

_"Momo!" someone screamed down the corridor in a bright, chipper voice. "Momo, where aaaaaaareeeee yoooouuuuuuu?" There was a huff. "I've been wandering around for ten minutes, I'm getting bored. Mooooooooooooomooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"_

_Momo's eyes went impossibly wide and she let out a small "eep" before diving for the bed so the boys hid her from sight and saying a quick, "Hide me! Don't let her know I'm here!"_

_"Why?" Naruto asked, smiling senselessly. He was practically dead to world at this point from sheer exhaustion alone. "Did you do something?"_

_"No! But she's stalking me!" came the muffled reply as Momo burrowed under the covers. And, of course, there was nothing suspicious about a lump in the bed. Nothing at all._

_Naruto rolled his eyes and sighed tiredly. "I give up at this point. Sure, we'll run with that fib for you, so no need to worry; anything else, Momo-chan?"_

_"Um... be scared?"_

_"Momo?" There was a knock on the door. "Momo, was that you?"_

_"That voice sounds alarmingly familiar," Toushiro muttered, screwing up his face in thought. "Where have I heard that voice before? I know I've heard it before."_

_The door flew open, and the first thing Toushiro saw was breasts practically falling out of a Gi. His face paled as he recognized the girl before him, her red hair falling over her shoulders._

_"HITSU-KUN!" she shrieked, bolting for him and wrenching him off the bed as she hugged him tightly. His face was buried in her bosom._

_Find a happy place. Find a happy place! **Find a happy place**! Toushiro's brain screamed at him as he clenched his eyes shut._

_"God, it's been forever, Hitsu-kun!" She pulled away. "Momo! I found you!" She poked the pile of blankets. "What are you doing under there? Why are you even in Hitsu-kun's room?"_

_"Matsumoto... Rangiku?" Toushiro asked, almost afraid it would be true._

Now, let's continue.

Chapter Four – Feel Like a Woman? Indeed

Naruto fell over in shock. _Who the hell is that, and shouldn't it be illegal to have... assets that large? They're probably a whole other entity by themselves! _He could only stare and pray to God this woman wasn't crazy as well.

Beneath the covers, Momo shivered and stayed wrapped up in them. _She_ _has Hitsugaya-kun now, she has him ... she won't bother me for the rest of the night, right? And wait, is she insinuating something about me being in the boys' dorm?_ She burst out from her burrow of covers and stood up on the bed, placing her hands on her hips. "What about you, Rangiku-chan! What are _you_ doing here?"

"I came to find you, Momo!" She held her arms out, as if waiting for a hug. "You disappeared so fast after dinner! I missed you." She pouted. "Rukia-chan says you're ignoring me. But that's not true, is it?" She smiled widely.

"Rangiku—what... I'm so confused." Toushiro rubbed his forehead as he sat down on the bed. His legs hurt too much for him to support himself much longer, anyway. "Last time I saw you was right before I met Momo. What happened to you? You went out for food and then just sort of disappeared."

"Oh, that." She giggled. "Shinigami found me and made me come here. They didn't let me go back out to find you, but I knew they would end up bringing you here eventually, so I just waited. It's so good to see you, Hitsu-kun!" She grabbed him and pressed him tightly to her chest again, swinging him almost violently from side to side.

Momo ducked behind Naruto and the blond blinked. "I hope you don't expect me to save you... from _that_."

"I told you to be scared."

"Well, yeah... but I wasn't... um... expecting... well, you know." He continued to stare, bemused. Was it even physically possible to support that much weight? Wow, that girl probably got a better workout than he did every day...

As if finally noticing Naruto, Rangiku let Toushiro go and squealed. "New friend! Awesome!" She threw herself at Naruto and hugged him just as tightly, his face also buried in her chest due to him being a similar height as Toushiro. "You're so adorable, oh my! Where did you find him? He's so cute!"

"Yes, cute," Toushiro coughed, rubbing his neck. "Enjoy, have fun. You can take him. Disappear with him. He won't mind. Right, Momo? Momo can be my roommate, you can have Naruto." Toushiro tried to push the redhead and the blond towards the door, but it was harder than he'd anticipated.

"Noooooooo!" Naruto cried in choked protest, pushing away from the officially dubbed crazy woman. "I'm innocent, take them!!" He nodded his head in the direction of Momo, and then Toushiro. His body was still pressed firmly against her and it was becoming a bit disorienting. _Oh, great, I might just faint again._ It was with realization and relief he pretended to do so to escape her clutches.

"Eh?" Rangiku pulled away from Naruto slightly and gasped. "Naruto-kun? Oh no! Naruto!" With that, panic struck the heavily endowed girl as she held onto Naruto's shoulders, shaking him wildly in a horrified frenzy. "Naruto-kun! _Wake up_! Hitsu-kun, what should we do? Momo, get help!" She continued to shake Naruto as she spoke, not even looking at him anymore.

Toushiro just covered his face with both hands. This was going to be insane. The captains were out to get them. The eyebrow-freak was out to get them, and now Rangiku? Would they _ever_ get a break?

"My God, woman, what is your problem?!" shouted Naruto, not enjoying being shaken to the point where he believed his brain had been sufficiently loosened. "Get your paws off me! Momo-chan, help me out." He glanced over in the direction Momo had been standing and his mouth dropped open, aghast. "Momo... chan?"

She had disappeared.

Toushiro had to admit, Momo's stealth was improving_. Maybe having Rangiku as a roommate is good for her_, he mused, before looking back at the pair. His eyes widened as he saw said girl staring at him.

"Hitsu-kun, you're injured. Are you okay?"

"Gah! I'm fine!" He waved his arms about in a panic, motioning Naruto. "He's in worse shape than me! In fact, Momo is probably the worst off out of all of us, poor thing. You should go find her."

"You know, you're probably right. We still have to do our homework." She giggled and let Naruto go, dropping him to the ground. "Bye, Hitsu-kun." She hugged him once more before kissing him sloppily on the cheek and bouncing out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

Toushiro fell onto his bed, grabbed his pillow, covered his face with it, and screamed as loud as he could.

Naruto crawled his way over to his own bed and used the covers to pull himself properly on it and plopped down with as much grace as a worn out boy could. He spread out overtop the covers and didn't dare move, shutting his eyes and hoping that when he woke up the world would have righted itself. He'd settle for less insane.

00000

Isshin leaned back against the wall, seated on the cushion in Kisuke's office. He sipped at his sake every once in a while as he thought back to the day they'd had watching the two new rookies.

"You weren't there, Kisuke," the man said, acting more mature and adult-like than he'd ever acted any other time during that day. There were times to be Kurosaki Isshin, and there were times to be an adult. He knew the difference. "The second the sword left—I've never seen so much reiatsu leave a single human's body. It's just impossible for anyone to have that much. He blew a hole through the wall I was standing beside. A _hole_, Kisuke."

Urahara sighed and rubbed his temples, leaning back against the desk set in his office mostly for decoration. "I understand, Isshin, but really... why would such talent suddenly appear right now? At this moment in time? Doesn't something seem a bit off to you? I don't know… maybe I'm thinking too deeply into the matter. But I definitely believe they're worthy of constant surveillance. Oh, and maybe someone with a bit more stealth this time." He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "There's no doubt they figured out you were watching them, you klutz. I'll have Yoruichi pull a few strings. And a hole, you say? Oh dear, I hope you're not _injured_."

"This is serious, Kisuke, don't joke," Isshin snapped. "When that sword was touching his body, he couldn't shoot a meter away; he couldn't even _make_ a fireball. Then, he gives the sword to Hitsugaya and he blasts a hole through the wall. The other kid flew off his feet, and the last time I got a good look at him, his face was burned. After Naruto finished with the fireball, Hitsugaya went to help him stay on his feet and he acted the way someone would around Kenpachi. He fell to his knees, Kisuke, like he couldn't breathe. Now I don't know much about Hitsugaya, but he was the first one to shoot out a fireball. Went about five meters. He even got _lightning_ to shoot out, and that went _seven_ meters. His own reiatsu is off the charts, so someone like him not being able to be near Naruto is _not_ normal."

He sighed as he took another sip of his sake, swirling the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing it.

"Sorry, sorry; touchy tonight, aren't we, Isshin? I know how serious this is, that's why I think it's strange. Certainly something far beyond our peripheral scope is going on here. I wonder how powerful that boy really is. Hmm... Well, at least my training asauchi won't go to waste while in his hands, ne? It might just keep him from going haywire if the time calls for it, don't you think?" Urahara crossed his arms, bowing his head. "What else did you see while watching them?"

"Well, they have a tendency to get into trouble." He chuckled slightly. "They have so many detentions from Yumichika even _I've_ lost count. Other than that, nothing we don't already know." He shrugged. "Naruto will no doubt excel at hand-to-hand combat. Hitsugaya is okay in that field from what I saw briefly when you were fighting him, but he could definitely use some improvement. With the sword fighting class I spied on, Hitsugaya excelled. Knocked the sword clear out of Hisagi's hand. You should've seen his face." He laughed. "Naruto wasn't doing too well because he kept getting penalties for using other parts of his body as weapons. In a real fight, you would do this, but since this is sword training, you have to rely on the sword. He wasn't able to really use nothing but his sword. I'm sure he'll improve, though." He took another sip of sake. "The kid was insane when he sparred with me. Shit, two draws. I can't believe they tied with us."

"Neither can I," murmured Urahara. "These kids... I look forward to seeing what they'll become in time. And hey, pass that sake over here, that's mine and you're drinking it like it's yours." He walked over and stole the bottle himself, taking a long swig. "So, is it agreed tomorrow we'll do some more research on them and find out all we can?"

"Yeah." Isshin nodded. "Shunsui and Jyuushiro are pretty interested in them, too. They went to the teahouse with the boys today right after lunch. I heard Hitsugaya talking about Naruto's sword, too. I think he knows what you did, so you might have to explain yourself." He grabbed the bottle back with a smirk. "I gave him a _normal_ sword, unlike you."

Kisuke sniffed. "My genius is never appreciated. And besides, that's all I had on-hand," he responded flippantly. "Are you insinuating otherwise?" He gasped in mock surprise. "To shame, Kurosaki, to shame!"

"To shame my foot, Urahara, I know you better than that. This kid is interesting to you." He sipped the sake again before holding the bottle out to Kisuke. "And Hitsugaya's not far behind. That kid is damn smart. We should arrange to have him take one of the advanced level tests, see how he does. I think we can have him moved up. He doesn't need the full six years in the academy; that kid got Kidou down pat on his first try and tied with a captain only a few minutes prior. Naruto—well, he's not smart, but the guy's got enough reiatsu to put Kenpachi to shame."

"Precisely my point. Of course, we don't know how Hitsugaya would respond to our offered assistance. He'd probably call us on favoritism or something. And I'll admit Naruto fascinates me. I've never seen anyone who could very well compare to Kenpachi in reiatsu. As scary as that seems. I would never do anything underhanded, though, never!" His smirk proved the contrary. "How's the scouting for a new vice captain going for you?"

"Tch, you cheated." Isshin crossed his arms. "If you're not careful, I'll get Hitsugaya _and_ Naruto in my division, and then you'll be sorry you ever went after Tousen. We both know they're wary of you, now, because of the sword incident." He grinned, and then stretched. "I should probably call it a night. I suppose I'll watch them in the morning while you talk to Yoruichi? Have her help us out?"

"Yes, I'll contact you when I have her okay for a few 2nd Division Special Forces' troops. It shouldn't be that hard to get her to cooperate. And I never cheated, Tousen just happened to be standing nearby the place I happened to be." He made a face. "Though there's this other person who's applying for the vice captain duties. He knows his stuff... but his attitude screams psycho to me. And it would be no fair, nor no fun, if you got both of them, Isshin! Just for that, you better sleep with one eye open tonight."

"Yeah, yeah, empty threats, Kisuke." He chuckled. "Who's this other vice captain you're talking about? Anyone I know? Anyone I should _avoid_, because you know you want to help me out since we're almost always together." He grinned.

"Well, putting it like that, Kurosaki... that's even more incentive _not_ to tell you. But since I need someone to gossip with, I might as well fill you in. It's some rookie who's risen through the ranks at astonishing speed. His name is Kurotsuchi Mayuri. Seems to be interested enough in my field of work to apply for the job... but I'm doubtful. Plus, some of his theories are a bit too skewed for my tastes."

"Aw, scared he might be better than you and will replace you?" Isshin laughed. "Mayuri, huh? I'll have to check him out, just to see if I can bother you enough for you to let me have Tousen. Cause you know I'll make him my vice captain just to bother you." He stood, stretching a bit more. "Anyway, I really should head out if I'm to watch the kiddies in the morning. Let me know when Yoruichi gives the okay." He headed towards the door, exiting his best friend's office.

00000

"Aww, come on, Yoruichi! My sweet, kind, gentle, lovable, little Yoruichi. Please just do me this _one_ favor?" pleaded Urahara, playfully batting his eyes at her and clasping his hands together in a mock gesture that meant he was practically begging at this point.

"Kisuke." The captain of the 2nd Division shifted in her chair, throwing one leg over the arm and the other bending at the knee to rest under her backside. "Every time you ask me for a favor, I end up regretting it. You're more trouble than you're worth. Now if you were asking me out for sake, well then, bring it on." She smirked, and then flicked her purple bangs from her eyes. "But as it stands, I won't deploy members of my division to watch two brats you deem worthy of attention. You and I have a very different idea of what is important and what isn't."

"Yoruichi, Yoruichi, Yoruichi," tsked Urahara, feigning disappointment. "Although we may have different opinions, I believe you will side with me _just_ this once!" A wide, cunning smile spread across his face and he leaned in closer. "I know something that you don't, if that counts. _If_ you help me, dearest, I'll let you in on this little… secret of mine." Tilting his head slightly, he asked, "What do you have to say to _that_, ne?"

Yoruichi arched an elegant eyebrow, her golden eyes inspecting Kisuke's devious expression. "I say I'll be the judge of that, if you don't mind. I won't be allowing you access to my troops for your own gallivanting and imbecilic ideas. Tell me your reason for wanting my help, and I might consider it. So far, all you've told me is there are two new trainees that you and Isshin are interested in, and I don't care to know what kind of fantasies you may have about young boys, Ki-su-ke," she teased with a smirk.

Urahara tossed her a saucy wink. "I truly doubt that, love. You know you're curious how my mind works, admit it. You probably daydream about my daydreams, just to have an idea about said fantasies." He faked a content sigh. "And my, what great, blissful fantasies they are!" Tapping his chin, he thought about Yoruichi's earlier words before that specific comment. "So, you want to know about them, too, eh? I bet you're just as interested… or will be when I'm done telling you this." He leaned in even closer so his face was inches from the other captain's, tilting his head down so they were eye-to-eye exactly. "Don't you trust my opinion, Yoruichi? Have I ever misled you when it comes to talent?" He winked again, just to spite her.

Yoruichi pushed the man's face away from hers with an index finger, smiling. Anyone who knew her would see right through it. "Have you ever misled me? If I counted on my fingers, I'd need more hands. And I'm not interested in them, Kisuke; I'm interested in knowing why _you're_ interested in them. As for fantasizing about your fantasies, we both know _you_ fantasize about _me_ fantasizing about your fantasies. I could care less what goes on in that head of yours." She sighed and leaned back further in her chair, her one leg still thrown over the side. She picked up her sword and pulled it out of its sheath, examining the blade. "So tell me, what is so fascinating about these two _boys_ that have you and Isshin so worked up?"

Urahara pouted, miffed. "You make it sound like a _bad_ thing," he said in testament to her words involving his fantasies. "It's not like you fantasizing about me fantasizing about you fantasizing about me is a whimsical dream, because Yoruichi-love, it's most certainly _true_." He smirked to prove this uncontested fact. "Besides," he started impassively, standing before her with that all-telling smile, looming, "it's not just me and Isshin who are interested, if I do say so myself."

"Do tell," Yoruichi stated dryly. "Look, unlike you, I have _things_ to do, so will you get on with it? I'm not keen on wasting my time. I could be off doing something else, like drinking sake with Shunsui. What is so fascinating about these two? I'm losing my patience and this conversation is getting rather boring. I can banter with you whenever I feel like it, but after a night like last night, I really _don't_ feel like it." She massaged her temples. "So tell me, or leave."

"Oh, what happened last night?" Urahara raised an eyebrow, curiosity peeked. He sighed when she glared at him, telling him to obviously get on with his story or else. "Fine, fine. Have it your way, Yoruichi-love." He crossed his arms and began to explain in detail. "We discovered some hidden talent yesterday. It would seem that these boys have power beyond belief for their age. It's rather fascinating, especially the Uzumaki boy... it's strange how his power can currently even rival Kenpachi's when fully released after building up pressure. It's astonishing and mind-boggling. And you know how I love a good mystery. Won't you help me figure this one out? I won't ask you for another favor again, so long as I live!" He pouted again, uncrossing his arms and putting them behind his back as he leaned in once more. "Must I explain myself further?"

Yoruichi pushed him away again, this time by slamming her palm into his face. But what he said _was_ rather interesting, and she brought her free hand to her mouth, biting on her thumbnail as she considered what he'd said. Power that rivaled Kenpachi's? That was unlikely. That man had so much reiatsu that all the captains _combined_ could hardly match up to his power. Except maybe Yamamoto, the commander-in-chief.

"All right, I'm interested. So you say this Uzumaki has amazing reiatsu. Fine, that's worth checking out—maybe." She sniffed slightly. "But what about the other one? I don't like half a story, Kisuke. If they split up, I'll only have my people follow the one worth following. You know that."

Urahara nodded; he knew his friend well enough to know about her tendencies not to waste time going after something that just wasn't worth it. Considering that fact, he had an idea just what to say to get her to agree to his terms. "This Toushiro boy, however, is certainly quick on his feet. Did you know," he paused for dramatic effect, "they tied me and Isshin in a one-on-one match a piece?"

Any other time, Yoruichi would've made a crack about that not being hard, but these were trainees who had just joined the academy the day before, and on their first day, they tied?

The captain leaned forward in her chair, bringing her legs back to their normal positions with her feet on the floor. She put her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands together with a frown. "They tied? How much of your strength were you both using?" she inquired, now interested in knowing more about this Uzumaki and Toushiro. _I should ask if they have full names_, she thought to herself with a smile.

"Well, at first we started off with as little power as possible, to test them out and see how they would hold up. The rule was we would only use our left hand and not even touch our swords. Of course, they exceeded our expectations. Toushiro even went as far as to prove he knew how to use shunpo! Shunpo, Yoruichi! By only seeing it off the streets, he mastered it. Can you believe that?" He chuckled slightly. "And I do believe shunpo is in your field of expertise, so do tell me how a boy like that could come to master it so easily? Though... I doubt he could match up to your 'standards' currently, I do believe he would do well under your direction in such a skill. Flash-step doesn't just happen, you know. He seems rather oblivious how much real potential he has for it! Wouldn't you love to have such a boy in your division?" He rocked on his heels, back and forth, looking for all he could like an innocent captain requesting nothing but a mere favor from a dear friend. "Come now, Yoruichi, isn't this just feeding your own curiosity? What do you say? Are you in or what?" As an afterthought, he added, "Oh and I'll throw in some sake."

Yoruichi smirked at him before standing and holding out her hand. "Deal, but you better bring over that sake soon, I'm having Shunsui over later to play Go." She laughed slightly. "I'll have Soifon lead a team, have the two of them followed, but you have to remember that they're not our top priority. If I need to pull them out at any time during the day, I'll do so." She released her hand from Urahara's. "So, do they have full names I can work with? I'd like to meet them myself. If this Uzumaki is as powerful as you say, and Toushiro can do shunpo, I definitely want to consider them for my division once they've reached the appropriate age."

"Of course they have names you can work with!" Urahara replied happily, slinging an arm across her shoulders, a smug smile on his face now that he had succeeded in getting his way. He had _told_ Isshin it would be easy. "We call them our little Whitey-chan and Sunshine-kun. They're so cute!" He chuckled again, squeezed her into a one-armed hug and then let go, preparing to leave. "Thank you so much, Yoruichi-love! I'll be sure to have them send you their greetings when they're in my division. Adieu, for now!" He waved merrily before exiting the premises with all do haste; hoping Yoruichi would at least allow him a head start for his final bit of cheek. She was the Goddess of Flash, after all. He didn't even dream of having enough time to outrun _her_ if she should ever chase him down for only God knew what—probably some "misdeed" he had committed against her. _Right, now to let Isshin know! _He smirked and increased his walking pace.

Yoruichi's eyebrow twitched, but she just ignored his last comment. Kisuke was hardly worth it, especially this early in the morning. Besides, she needed to find Soifon and inform her of the plan before the two boys woke up and went to their first class. She still didn't know enough about them, in her opinion. Uzumaki was obviously a last name, while Toushiro was a first. As they were always together, so long as she found one of them, finding the other shouldn't be too difficult. _Damn him and his lack of information_! She knew he did it on purpose.

She pushed through the double doors, seeing Urahara's retreating form. She almost contemplated going after him, just for the hell of it, but he really _wasn't_ worth it, so she went out looking for her vice captain instead. Stopping a member of her division, who bowed and stuttered cutely, she inquired as to where Soifon was. Upon receiving an answer, she set out for the main training area of her division, walking down the stairs and standing on the end of the large porch, crossing her arms and leaning against a pillar as she watched her vice captain. A few others were fighting along with her, but none were ever going to defeat Soifon.

Feeling the sudden reiatsu of her one and only captain, Soifon gasped and quickly spun on her heel to face the woman, bowing. "Yoruichi-sama!" Her opponent, however, did not seem to maintain any of these standards that the vice captain prided herself on, and instead decided to kick the other woman dead center in the back. "Uff!" Crying out, she fell to the floor in an undignified heap. "How dare you -" She started on her tirade, picking herself up from the stone ground and glaring at the 4th seat. "Can't you see our captain is here?" Soifon hissed, eyes narrowed to slits. She brushed long strands of black hair out of her face with a huff and then turned to her captain once again, seemingly embarrassed by the incident. "Uh, excuse us, Yoruichi-sama."

The other woman beside Soifon arrogantly rolled her eyes, hardly caring but greeting Yoruichi all the same. "Good morning, taichou."

Yoruichi stepped off the porch and onto the training ground itself, walking forward and looking up at the sky, seemingly confused. "Do you hear that? Sounds like an annoying—bee." She smiled and put her hand on Soifon's head. "It's Yoruichi, Soifon. How many times must I remind you?" She smiled kindly, and then let her hand fall. "Come, I need to speak to you." She started to walk away, then grinned and turned back to the 4th seat. "Oh, and for disrespect of your vice captain, I'm assigning you district 92 today. Have fun breaking up all the fights." She waved over her shoulder as she headed back for the porch, intent on getting back to her office with Soifon so they could discuss the events that would be taking place.

"Um... Yoruichi-sama?" the small girl of a vice-captain started out a bit sheepishly. "What... uh... why did you need to speak with me so early in the morning? I thought you didn't hand out missions until at least noon. We're still in practice..." She trailed off, feeling she had over-stepped her boundaries in questioning her captain. A light blush graced her cheeks. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Yoruichi laughed, shaking her head. "Why are you sorry? You're absolutely right. Although..." She trailed off as she stopped, tapping her chin playfully, "There is something about what you said that bothers me." She spun around, ruffling Soifon's hair. "When are you going to call me Yoruichi?" she asked with a kind smile. "The 'sama' makes me feel so… old." She frowned, displeased with the thought.

She shrugged it off after a few seconds before turning around and heading back to her office again. "This is a personal mission, requested by me and not the Central 46 Chambers. You're allowed to decline, if you so wish, but I'd really appreciate your help with this." She smiled over her shoulder before pushing open the double doors of her office.

Blush deepening, Soifon mused over what her captain was saying, though she knew she would accept no matter the consequence. She trusted Yoruichi's judgment, after all. "What will I be doing?" she asked politely, following the older woman into the 2nd Division office and declining the seat Yoruichi offered her. She preferred to stand, it would be easier to defend should the need arise. The Shihouin family was of nobility and, as the case was, she was the main line of defense in the Division. That's why they probably worked so effortlessly together. Yoruichi was more the offensive, get-up-and-go type, while Soifon was more reserved and tended to lean more to the defensive side than her outgoing captain. She paused in her thoughts, shaking her head. She needed to concentrate on the matter at hand. "Is this a terribly important mission, Yoruichi-sama?" Old habits die hard; she would never give up on at least adding an honorific to the woman's name, even when Yoruichi repeatedly told her not to. It was the only order Yoruichi had given her that she had not bothered following, it was the only time she would _ever_ deny her captain of something.

"No, no, not terribly important." Yoruichi didn't bother to correct her on her name. She had already done so twice that day, and she wasn't going to say it again until a few more minutes from now when Soifon said 'sama' again. "It's just a personal thing. A favor for a friend." She plopped down in her chair, one leg thrown over the side again. "There are two boys that joined the academy yesterday. Trainees, so to speak. Urahara-taichou is interested in them; he thinks they're worth looking into. I was thinking maybe you and a team could go out and watch them for the day, write your finds and then report back to me around dinner time. I'm not really expecting anything spectacular, Kisuke always _does _exaggerate, but it'd be nice to see why he's so interested in them." She sighed, running her hand through her short hair. "Unfortunately, he didn't give me much to work with. All I know is one has blond hair, and the other has white hair. One has the last name of Uzumaki, and the other's first name is Toushiro. I can't even tell you which is which. The damn bastard loves giving me a hard time when he asks for favors." She frowned slightly in annoyance.

Soifon giggled despite herself, but quickly straightened back up and blanked all emotion from her face as she was taught. "Excuse my rudeness, taichou. So... um..." The blush had returned; she tried to get it to go away. "I have the honor of taking on this mission? To trust me with a friend's request, I am truly honored, Yoruichi-sama." She bowed her head respectfully. "I think I have enough to work with considering there aren't too many white-haired children running around Seireitei. It should be okay. So, who should I take with me, and how long should each individuals report be, if I may be so bold?"

"Let's see." Yoruichi tapped her chin. "Well, I suppose each report can be as long as need be. One person watching each boy for a period of one class. I'll trust you to make the arrangements; I know you'll choose people who are right for the job." She smiled reassuringly. "I just want to know if Urahara is exaggerating. If he's not, then I want to meet these two and maybe even consider having them train with you. You're the best in my division." She smiled widely, before stretching. "I guess that's all. Don't forget to take a break for lunch, okay?" She winked at Soifon. "You're dismissed. And—Good luck."

00000

Humming to himself, Urahara followed the trail of his fellow captain's reiatsu, finally locating him. He raised an eyebrow in disbelief when he got a good look at the man. Isshin was sitting up in a tree, watching the two boys with binoculars. That was... kind of creepy, even by Kurosaki standards. "... Are you watching them sleep, Kurosakiii-kun?"

With a shout, Isshin fell backwards out of the tree, landing in the bushes below, his Shinigami robes riding up due to the way he landed. He kicked his feet about in the air, struggling to right himself, and finally sat down on the ground, looking around for his binoculars. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" he insisted, finally finding them and sighing in relief as he noticed they were still in one piece. "I wasn't watching them sleep, I was just waiting for them to wake up," he replied, confident with his answer.

"Uh huh," answered Kisuke, clearly not deceived. "Sad to say, though, you're a bigger pervert than me." He cocked his head with a smirk. "I don't even _want _to know about_ your_ fantasies," he teased, reminded of his earlier conversation with Yoruichi. "Well, I just came to see how things were going and to let you know Yoruichi has agreed to help us out. Told you it would be easy. No problems in the slightest."

"Great!" Isshin exclaimed excitedly. "So… now what? Since we don't have to watch them today, does that mean we actually _have_ to do our captain duties?" he inquired with a frown. "It was so much more fun following them around and watching them do stupid things. Like Sunshine-kun. He's so funny. Did you know that at dinner, he tripped and spilt an entire bowl of soup all down Whitey-chan's back? I haven't laughed so hard since Shunsui got drunk last year and started stripping on Yamamoto-taichou's desk on his birthday." He snickered.

Chuckling as well, Urahara propped himself against the tree and shook his head. "Well, we don't _have_ to attend to our duties _right away_. What do you to say to having a little fun first? And then at lunch we can have a little 'surprise' for our two new sources of amusement, ne?" There was a devilish glint to his eyes that spoke of a scheme in the making. "So, Isshin, want to hear what I think we should do?"

"Always." Isshin grinned as he got back to his feet. "Do tell, Kisuke. You always have something devious up your sleeve, so today shouldn't be any different. And to think, I actually thought I'd have to report for my captain duties today. Thank God you're my friend." He wrapped an arm around Kisuke's shoulders and sighed. "So, this plan of yours?"

"Oh, you know, a little of this and a little of that. I shant bore you with the minor details, my friend. Just leave them to me. So, here's what I think we should do." He leaned over a bit and whispered his plan into Isshin's ear, careful to keep his voice low enough so any passersby wouldn't hear what he was saying.

Kisuke's silence was shown to be futile when Isshin thrust his fists in the air, shouting, "Brilliant! They'll never suspect us over Yumichika if we use that as a plan! I love it! We should start right now so that they don't wake up first! I'll get the streamers! You work on the rainbow pattern wallpaper!"

Urahara half contemplated a face-palm, but settled for slapping the back of Isshin's head and disappearing. Really, Kurosaki could be such an idiot sometimes.

00000

Toushiro started as an alarm went off throughout the building, waking all its inhabitants for their morning classes. He groaned and covered his head with his pillow, not ever having been a morning person—or an afternoon person, since he sometimes woke up in the afternoon. He hated waking up altogether. _It's too early in the morning to be harassed by crazy captains._

When a few seconds passed and the alarm didn't show any signs of stopping, he sighed and threw his pillow across the room at the door, scowling. The damn thing ran for a minute solid to ensure everyone woke up. He hated that.

As he was about to get out of bed, he froze, his eyes wide as he scanned the room. _The walls were white when we went to bed—weren't they?_ He didn't move any other part of his body but his eyes, too worried that something shiny and colorful would come out and attack him. He suddenly worried about his hair having been dyed pink or something, but he knew he'd have woken up if that had been the case.

"Naruto," he called out, the alarm still going. "Naruto, wake up!"

Groaning, Naruto rolled over onto his side and sleepily opened his eyes. "What the hell? Were you calling my name just now? Couldn't hear you over that ringing..." He yawned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Gah, I wanted to rest a bit longer, dammit." He blinked a few times before finally registering the color change to their room. "Uh... Hitsu-teme, did you redecorate...?"

"No, you idiot," Toushiro snapped. "Someone did this. It's like—a heinous punishment!" He stood up and went to his closet, cursing. "They even replaced our blue uniform with the girl's red ones!" He scowled, looking around angrily. "Who would do this?"

He was disgusted by what he saw. Rainbows? Streamers? Bright pink walls? What the hell was going on, and who did he have to kill to make this nightmare go away? If someone said Naruto, hell, he'd do it without a second thought.

Naruto gaped, his jumbled thoughts arriving to only one possible conclusion: Yumichika. "Pretty boy!" he exclaimed, throwing the spotted quilt with excessive colors away from his body as if infected. "This screams of Yumichika! He's mad we skipped out on detention last night! Gods, Hitsu, he knows! He knows we didn't go and he forced this punishment on us! Noooo! I'm too young to go color blind!"

"Eyebrow-freak?" Toushiro cocked an eyebrow. "This doesn't really seem like his style." He crossed his arms. "And the only reason _I_ skipped out on detention was because I was too busy trying to find _you_, cause you were _hiding_ so you wouldn't have to go. I plead innocent to the whole affair." He uncrossed his arms, annoyed. "I have no reason to suffer." He paused. "Besides, it wasn't eyebrow-freak. It's someone else."

"I'm telling you it was Yumichika; that jerk! He set us up! I tell you there's a conspiracy going on here! We should get to the bottom of this," Naruto stated seriously, kicking away a fluffy pink stuffed animal that had been abandoned on the floor. "Eww... our room is diseased, we have to get out here. Now. Before I go _insane_!" He tugged at his blond hair, irate beyond belief. "Please tell me we're going to kill whoever did this. Maybe that will ease my suffering."

"Naruto, eyebrow-freak didn't do this." He sighed in exasperation. "Right now, I'm more concerned with finding our clothes, cause I'm _not_ walking around in the girl's uniform." He scratched the back of his head in thought, wondering where they could find more uniforms. Both their uniforms had already been in the room when they'd arrived two days ago, so it wasn't like either of them knew of a store or something where they could get extras.

Opening the door, he poked his head out the corridor before walking to the room next to his and knocking on the door. A tall, foreboding figure answered, leaning against the doorframe, his red hair sticking up at odd angles. Toushiro soon realized it had been done on purpose.

"Um, hi. I was wondering if you could tell me where to get a new uniform? Mine appears to have gone missing."

"Hn," the other grunted. "There's a shop beside the cafeteria, you can buy a new one from there." He closed the door.

Naruto poked his head out as well. "So, how'd it go? Did someone know where we can get new ones?" he asked, brow furrowing. "I'm not wearing that uniform any time soon either. I'll beat someone up and take their clothes if I have to. So, for the safety of our fellow students, _please_ tell me you know what to do in this situation." He sighed, not liking the idea of relying on Toushiro, but forgoing his sense of pride at the moment. Plus, red _really_ wasn't his color. Orange, yes. Red, hell no.

"Yeah, I found a place," Toushiro sighed, looking down at his dark boxers. "Come on, we have to go buy some new uniforms." He pushed into the room and grabbed some money Kaien had given him and Naruto before turning around and heading back out the door, Naruto having made no move to follow. "Well? Are you coming? If you think I'm going down there by myself, you're mistaken. I'm not buying your uniform for you."

"Erm... I, uh ..." Naruto wouldn't admit there was a slight flush to his cheeks now as he kept his lower half hidden behind the door. "Well, why don't you go down there... and wait for me?" he finished weakly, tightening his hold on the doorknob. "I need to at least find a halfway... um... decent shirt? Cause, unlike you, I don't like running around in my skippies... I have modesty. I have _pride_." He smirked. "So that's why you should just go and I'll catch up to you. Yeah."

Toushiro cocked an eyebrow before throwing the door open all the way. He raised both eyebrows at Naruto's choice of boxers. Whereas Toushiro's were all a plain dark blue, Naruto's were a lighter blue and covered with a bunch of little red foxes encased in dark green hearts. He blinked up at Naruto. "Are you serious? How _old _are you?" He rolled his eyes. "Just wrap yourself in a sheet, if you must, but I'm not braving all these people by myself, and I sure as hell am _not_ going to be getting _your_ uniform if you don't come with me. You can walk around all day looking like a girl." He turned and motioned for Naruto to follow.

"But... but..." Naruto grasped for a counter argument. "Aw, come on, Hitsu! I can't go out there looking like this. What would the other guys think?" He gasped. "What if… what if we run into a _pervert_… or Rangiku! Please don't make me go," he begged, tugging at Toushiro's arm with a pout. "Can't you just do me this one favor?"

Toushiro just stared at him, waiting expectantly. "Like I said, dumbass, use a sheet. I'm not going down there to buy _your_ uniform. It's either you come with me, you brave it later by yourself, or you walk around dressed like a girl all day. Your choice." Toushiro stretched slightly as he waited by the door. _I'll give him ten seconds to decide, then I'm gone_, he decided. They didn't have all day. As it was, they would probably barely have enough time to eat breakfast.

"Hitsu-teme," Naruto whined, horrified. "Do you even realize what our _room_ looks like, let alone our _sheets_? They're frilly, pink, and just plain girly." He made a face. "I'm not walking around looking like a girl!"

Authors' Notes:

_Sarge – I get to speak first this time, muahahahaha XD So, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, it was hella fun. Then again, writing with Avril is ALWAYS hella fun, so guess it's hard not to have fun :P We're slowly trying to introduce more characters… very slowly. But we're trying XD And ps: Naruto roxors my soxors :P I love Naru-chan XD_

_Avril – I am honored. My Naru-chan, however, does not compare to your Hitsu-kun. Admit it, or else. Anyway, like Sarge said, we're trying are best to introduce new characters (probably in the oddest ways possible for your entertainment ;P) P.S. – Sarge, when are you going to just admit that you are full of win and the whole world must bow down to your whims?_

_Sarge -Or else, huh? Or else what? Naru-chan and his awesomeness will smite my poorly written Hitsu-kun and myself? Cause that would be all right :P And I am NOT full of win, honey, that would be YOU :rolls eyes: Silly Avril, thinking I'm her. Geez ;P_

_Avril - :O Don't make me hurt you, Sarge! Just admit it all ready so we can post the next chapter next week. Don't make me hold the chapter hostage for our poor, innocent readers just because you WON'T ADMIT IT! Oh, btw, did anyone catch the super sexy Shinigami in Bleach episode 111? Because, damn, he looked good. I want some of THAT. _

_Sarge – You can't hold the chapter hostage, silly, I have it too. And hot damn, yes! I want that Shinigami! ME! ME! ME! MINE! (P.S. Did you notice he said "my best friend's trio"? Him and Urahara really WERE best friends :P)_

_Avril – And what if I refuse to beta that chapter, huh :sticks out tongue: So there. I WIN! And, no. You can't have him all to yourself. You better share. Or else bring back my Urahara :cries: I want to see more of him in the show! S'not fair! (P.S. XD We are awesome, predicting them to be best friends like that.)_

_Sarge – Well … don't beta it, then I'll just do it myself…. Whatever. :P And you know me, I don't share. It's not in my nature. Especially when it comes to ice cream. The ice cream is MINE!_

_Avril – Fine, dammit! You win this round, but I will win! I will pwn you sooner or later, just you wait! (And :O What? I want some of that ice cream! Not even a little for your friend here?)_

_**Character Lists:**_

_**Avril**- Naruto, Momo, Urahara, Soifon_

Sarge – Toushiro, Rangiku, Isshin, Yoruichi, and the anonymous redhead that we all know and love—if you don't guess who, for shame!


	5. Devious Trainees

Chapter Five – Devious Trainees, and More Fateful Schemes

Naruto couldn't believe he had conceded and ended up draping that stupid pink sheet over himself. He grumbled as he walked side by side with Toushiro, absolutely furious. "This is all your fault, teme."

"Hey, I didn't force you to put on the sheet," Toushiro insisted as he walked in nothing but his boxers. It was less embarrassing. "Personally, I think the boxers are less mortifying than the sheet you're wearing. I'd have ditched the sheet if I were you, but then again, you never listen to me, so what's the point?" Toushiro shrugged as he stopped in front of a store. "This must be it. Come on." He pushed open the door and headed inside.

Naruto followed behind the other boy, less than happy. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at least I can explain the sheet, you know?" He sighed and looked up at the counter, gasping when he saw the person at the cash register. "Oh my god, this is a conspiracy I tell you!" Pointing at Yumichika (aka pretty boy), he shouted, "This is all your doing! Hitsu, we can't buy clothes from him... this jerk... he's the one behind all of this!"

Toushiro sighed, shaking his head in annoyance. _Well, if he **was** going to sell to us before, he's definitely not going to **now**. Damn Naruto and his big mouth._ He walked up closer to the counter, ignoring Naruto. "Hi there, Yumichika-sensei." It took a conscious effort for Toushiro to _not_ look at the guy's eyebrows. "Naruto and I need new uniforms, our others are—well, unusable, I guess is the best term to use. Can you get us just one set each, please?"

"I'm sorry, we're all out," drawled Yumichika in a bored tone of voice, barely looking up from filing his nails. "It's not that I don't want to sell you uniforms, good heavens knows I couldn't bear the idea of you walking around in your boxers all day—It's disturbing mentally, for one—but I can't sell you products I don't have, you know?"

Jaw dropping in disbelief, Naruto started again on his rant. "See, Hitsu! Tell me that's not a conspiracy! Tell me right now that it's not, right to my face! How could they be all sold out so quickly? How? It's not possible, I tell you!"

Toushiro had to agree with Naruto to some degree, that it _was _a conspiracy, but even as his eyebrow twitched, he knew it had nothing to do with freaky brows. Placing both hands down on the counter and leaning forward slightly, he let out a deep sigh as he closed his eyes and struggled to keep his voice at a respectable level.

"If I may ask, how is it that it's the beginning of the day and you no longer have uniforms? Did someone buy them all, or something? And if so, who?"

Sighing, Yumichika finally deemed it fit to look up. "Someone bought them all before my shift, so I really don't know who. All right? Now, is there anything else I can offer you?" he asked false pleasantly. "By the way, I added on another week's worth of detention when the person in charge of yours informed me you didn't show up. Care to explain that before you go?"

Toushiro would never admit it aloud, but it had taken a lot of self-control to refrain from punching Yumichika in the face and running for it. Turning to Naruto for help, he then remembered the blond was an idiot, and settled for the truth, clearing his throat.

"Well, this is what happened: I was planning on going, but then Naruto decided to ditch it. I didn't want him to get into more trouble, so I spent almost two hours trying to convince him to go, and by the time I looked at the time, we'd missed the detention, so you see, it really wasn't my fault, it was Naruto's. I don't think the addition of one week is justified for me, since I was planning on going."

"If you were planning on going, then why didn't you?" Yumichika set his file on the counter and propped an elbow up to support his chin. "I don't see how that would be justified in any way. If you had gone alone for even a few minutes, it would have been a different story. But you didn't even show up. So I'm sorry, but I can't in any good conscious say you're off the hook, gaki." He smirked and glanced at the silently fuming blond, just waiting for him to slip up and add _more_ detentions onto their already high number. _Any minute now._

"Evil, conniving pretty boy! You can't do this to us, you can't!" Angered and ashamed of his current state of dress, Naruto wanted to strangle the Shinigami's neck just to shut him up and make him cough up a school uniform. Like he was ever going to walk around campus in the girl's uniform all day. No way in hell was he _ever_ getting into one of those. Never _ever_. It was just wrong. He wasn't the kind of guy who liked cross-dressing... that was probably more of Yumichika's style, if he did say so himself.

Smirk still present, Yumichika informed them, "I think I'll add another three days for that cheek just now."

Toushiro covered Naruto's mouth before the blond could say anything else, his eyebrow twitch increasing. Naruto always managed to get them into _more_ trouble than they were already in. He was considering just not hanging out with the blond anymore.

"Look, here's the situation: someone trashed our room and took our uniforms." It was half the truth, anyway. "We need to get to class, and we can't very well go looking like this. Are you sure there isn't _anything_ at the back that you can give us? Old uniforms? Even bigger sizes, whatever, it's fine. We just need the male uniform so we can get to our first class, which we're most probably going to be late for due to current circumstances." He offered the Shinigami a sincere smile. "Come on, help us out a little."

"Hmm…" Yumichika tapped his chin, considering. "Well, we don't have any of the _boys_ uniforms, but we do have two girl ones left in stock." He faked a cough to cover up his laughter. "Of course, I doubt you'd want those, you know? So I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to ask your fellow classmates if they have two uniforms to spare. I can't help you, sadly." He sighed, pretending to feel sorry for them given the circumstances.

"Sadly my ass!" Naruto growled around Toushiro's hand. It was too muffled to interpret properly.

"Thank you, Yumichika, for your time. We really appreciate it." Toushiro glared at Naruto. "We'll be going now." He forced Naruto to turn around and leave, the two of them exiting the store. He waited until they were far enough away before removing his hand from Naruto's mouth. "I don't believe this. We're the smallest guys here, there's no way anyone can spare us a uniform that won't be three times too big for us." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "What are we supposed to do now? As it is, we won't be able to eat breakfast."

"I don't know," the blond mumbled, looking down and kicking at some loose pebbles. "This sucks." He gripped the knot on his sheet and pulled it up a bit further. The silly thing had been sliding down a bit too far on his waist. "Ugh, we have to think of something soon before someone we know sees us." Glancing at Toushiro, he asked, "What do you think we should do? There are not very many options to work with… We might just have to..." He stopped, shivering in fear. "Nope, not even going there."

Toushiro thought for a few moments as they walked, trying to think of something. "We could always head to the main office and ask for normal black Shinigami robes until they get a new stock of the blue training ones." he suggested. "Though it entails us to continue walking around wearing—well, in my case, boxers, and in yours, a skirt." He laughed slightly. "If that fails, then..." He gulped loudly. "We swallow our pride and wear the girl's uniform until we can get them replaced."

"Sounds like a plan," commented Naruto, eyes narrowed. "Whoever did this is going to pay _big_ time, just to let you know. I mean, either way I look at it, I'm still stuck with this damn hula sash wrapped around my freakin' waist." He gestured, disgruntled, to the pink sheet turned skirt that covered his lower half and concealed the more than embarrassing boxers. No self-respecting man would wear something _that_ cute, but the same could be said for the sheet. He sighed. Really, Naruto doubted this situation would let him win. If it did, he would be delightedly surprised. Though, in all honesty, he doubted something _good_ was going to happen today.

"Come on, I think it's this way." Toushiro motioned towards the main office, Naruto trailing behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and sighed before stopping. "Naruto, seriously—you look like more of an idiot with that sheet than with the boxers. And more people are staring at you because of it. Just let it go, and walk around in your damn boxers. It's what I'm doing."

Admittedly, Toushiro's boxers were nowhere near as embarrassing as Naruto's, but that was hardly the point. Toushiro _himself_ was getting embarrassed walking around with the damn cross-dressing wannabe. He wasn't walking into the main office with someone who could be mistaken for a girl, except for the fact that he had no breasts.

"No! They're foxes! With hearts around them!" Naruto shouted and then covered his own mouth, aghast as heads whipped curiously in his direction. Gulping, he fiddled with the knot and dropped the sheet to the ground, stepping out of it and closer to Toushiro. "There, are you _happy_?" The frown on Naruto's own face said he was less than thrilled at having to walk around in these particular boxers. _Why couldn't this just have happened yesterday when I was wearing orange ones? At least then I could have flaunted in pride._

"Not that I'm looking, but at least it'll make you shut up: if you're concerned about the looks you're going to get from girls, I don't think any of them are going to look at your boxers with your chest exposed like that," Toushiro admitted, just to stop the other from whining. "Besides, from far away, no one can even tell what the hell's _on_ your boxers." He rolled his eyes and walked up the steps that led to the main office, wondering what they could say to get a uniform. _Maybe they have some extra male ones_, he thought hopefully. He doubted they would be kind enough to lend them black Shinigami robes.

"Un," Naruto replied shortly, sulking. At least Toushiro's comment had served to cheer him up a bit, since there were quite a few girls looking in their direction. He smiled back at them and waved before following the other boy up the stairs. "Do you think they'll really allow us some authentic Shinigami robes, though? We _are_ only trainees, after all." They reached the main office's doors at the same time and pushed them open together, entering to find the place in mild chaos. Naruto blinked, confused. "Uh, was that just a paper airplane?"

Toushiro said nothing, merely blinking. "I'm a little concerned," he admitted as he entered further with Naruto, only to have someone scream his name and pull him into a tight hug. He suspected at first that it was Rangiku, but upon further inspection and realizing the figure had no breasts, he blanked and looked up. His heart sank.

"U-Ukitake-taichou!"

"Toushiro, how are you?!" Jyuushiro hugged him tightly. "I haven't seen you since forever."

"You saw me at lunch yesterday."

"Oh, right." He chuckled slightly as he let the younger boy go, and then coughed almost violently.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He smiled reassuringly. "Naruto! Good to see you!" he cheered.

_Sure, don't deprive **him **of oxygen_, Toushiro thought bitterly when the captain didn't go to hug Naruto.

Shunsui appeared beside the white haired Jyuushiro suddenly, red-faced drunk, but brightening at the name 'Naruto'. "Aww, looky! It's blondie number one and blondie number two!" He hiccupped and engulfed Naruto into a rather firm hug. "How've ya been?" Another hiccup escaped the Captain. "S'been too long, my friends!" the man heartily exclaimed.

Naruto struggled from the grip, wanting—no, _needing_—air. _No, not again, dammit!_

"Blondie?" was all Toushiro said in response to that comment.

"He's color-blind, I'll bet," Jyuushiro laughed, shrugging. "That, or he knows I hate being called a blond, because he calls me that, too."

"Uh huh," was all the young trainee said before pushing past all the others, ignoring Naruto's reaching hand when the other tried to stop him for help. He walked up to the desk where a Shinigami sat, seeming to look straight ahead, though Toushiro couldn't really tell since he was wearing reflective glasses. As he got closer, he could see the other's eyes, noticing they were closed. He wondered how anyone could sleep through the racket Shunsui was making, and then contemplated how to wake him up.

"May I help you?"

Toushiro let out an undignified scream, blushing in embarrassment soon after the sound left his mouth.

"Oh dear, is he all right, Jyuu-chan?" inquired Shunsui, most of his words slurring together as he nuzzled the top of Naruto's hair. "Hmm... this pillow is comfy."

Naruto's eyes widened, horrified at the thought of becoming the crazy captain's pillow. "Get off! Get off!" the blond gasped, pushing harder at Shunsui's chest in desperation. He sagged lifelessly when the grip only tightened. He was half-tempted to emit a scream like Toushiro, though his would be one of pure frustration.

"Sorry." Toushiro regained his composure. "I didn't know you were awake."

"It's all right. Did you need help with something?"

"Um, yeah." The boy tilted his head slightly, wondering why the other wasn't opening his eyes. He finally understood after a few seconds, wanting to kick himself in the backside. "Um, my roommate and I are trainees here at the academy, and—this is going to sound crazy but, we woke up this morning and our room was completely changed. Someone snuck in and replaced all of our stuff with girly things, including our uniforms. We went to the shop to buy more, but they were out. We were wondering if we could borrow normal Shinigami robes," he explained. "Just until the new stock comes in." he added the last part in quickly. "We just can't really walk around wearing our boxers."

The man in front of him scowled slightly. "I don't know, that doesn't sound like something I'd be able to approve."

"But I can." Jyuushiro had been listening from close by, coming up to stand beside the student. "I think it's all right, Tousen. Just for a few days. As long as they bring them back before the end of the month, I'll allow it. Anything they do while in those robes can fall onto me, so you'll have my word they won't do anything I don't approve of."

"Here, here!" Shunsui crowed, swinging the blond he was hugging from side to side with a smile. "You'll look like little Shinigamis all grown up!" He finally let Naruto go, the boy appreciating that as he stumbled a fair distance away. "So, Tousen, how 'bout it? Just for us, okay? Any and all responsibility will fall on our shoulders. S'okay, kay?"

Naruto shivered and walked over to Toushiro, a bit scared. "I'm worried," he said softly. "They're... helping so out. What if they want something in return?" he whispered, disliking that idea greatly. "Heck, they might just even end up following us around at this rate, you know. To make sure we don't do something 'wrong' while in them. Maybe we should... reconsider?"

Toushiro turned to Naruto as Tousen went about getting the two of them robes, Jyuushiro—frighteningly enough—knowing their sizes.

"What? You want to walk around wearing the girl's uniform all day? Because by all means, be my guest. I, on the other hand, will stick with the Shinigami robes. Even if they follow us all day, all we have to do is stay out of trouble." He paused. "What am I saying, you _always_ get in trouble." He sighed as the blind Shinigami held out the black uniform, Toushiro taking it with a "thanks" before moving aside so Naruto could get his own.

Hesitantly, Naruto accepted his robe and then shrugged. "All right, whatever. Let's go get changed, ne? We still have to get to class... maybe we'll make it on time?" There was no real confidence in his words when he said the last part.

"Who knows, we might." Toushiro turned towards the door. "Thank you, Ukitake-taichou. And thank you, Tousen-san." He bowed to both before heading for the door, not even bothering with Shunsui. Then again, he almost considered thanking him for the mere fact that he'd crushed Naruto and deprived him of oxygen, but that would be mean.

So, he and Naruto headed back out of the main building, hurrying towards their dorm again so they could change. Toushiro's stomach growled and he cursed the idiots who'd made them go through this.

"Hey, Naruto—realistically, who do you think did this?" He turned to look at the blond.

"Realistically, huh?" Naruto shifted the Shinigami uniform in his arms, thinking on it. Thinking _hard_ on it. He nodded as he came to the most logical conclusion. "Pretty boy, of course!" A few heads turned in their direction again as Naruto dropped into the nice guy pose, minus the sparkling teeth.

Toushiro hit Naruto across the back of the head before pulling him forward by the back of his neck, growling in the other's face. "Don't _ever_ do that pose again, or I'll hurt you. A lot." He let the blond go and continued towards the dorm, grumbling all the way about idiotic blonds and their one-track minds.

The platinum-haired boy himself thought about it more, trying to think about who would honestly do something like this. Rangiku came to mind, but she'd need help, and he doubted Momo would ever do that to him and Naruto. Other than her, he was drawing a blank, and it was frustrating as all hell.

He sighed, walking into their dorm and hurrying to their room, wanting to get changed and to class before they got in trouble and got _more_ detentions.

Pouting, since Toushiro had insulted the pose—_the pose_—he followed the other boy into their dorm room like a wounded puppy, scarred for life. "Why are you so mean? What did the pose ever do to you?" He laid out the uniform on his bed and started pulling apart the layers to get started on changing. "My God, how many layers do Shinigami _wear_?"

"You know, I think you like hearing yourself talk, because all you ever do is complain." Toushiro hurried to change, getting ready within seconds, and grabbing the sword Isshin had given him the day before, strapping it to his back. _Since we're wearing black and we both have swords, I hope no one mistakes us for **real** Shinigami, because we'd have problems going out and fighting in our current state_. He winced slightly before turning back to Naruto. "Ready?"

"I do not like just hearing myself talk!" Naruto interjected, haphazardly pulling on the robed layers and making a grab for the sword Urahara had given him. "You know, we never did return these things." Shrugging, he strapped the sword to his back as well and gestured to the door. "I'm ready when you are. Too bad we couldn't meet Momo for breakfast today; she probably thinks we're ignoring her. I feel sorry leaving her with that Rangiku woman with no line of defense."

"Momo can handle herself. As for Matsumoto—well..." Toushiro coughed, preferring not to get into it. "Let's go." He led the way out, the sword on his back bumping lightly against him. "You know, when we see them next, you should throw that sword into Urahara-taichou's face." He turned to look at Naruto. "I don't know why you still have it. All it does is hold back your reiatsu, and then lets it fry your friend's _hair_ when it gets free." He motioned the ends of his hair, which were still singed slightly from the blast the day before.

Naruto snickered, never mind that he himself still had frayed ends from Isshin and his Kidou attack. "I can't just let you have all the fun with a sword! Plus, I need to learn how to use one properly since yesterday's Zanjutsu class sucked on ice. As did Kidou. I was kinda ..." He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly as they exited the dorm before continuing. "I was kinda hoping you could help me with that...? Since you're really good and all." He didn't like to ask for help, especially from bastards, but he knew when he wasn't good at something and he had swallowed his pride for once and tried something a bit different.

Toushiro turned to Naruto with a cocked eyebrow, impressed the other knew what asking for help _was_. "Sure," he agreed. "I guess we could trade. You help me with hand-to-hand, and I help you with that. Deal?" He held his hand out towards Naruto as the two of them neared their first class, arriving barely on time, but still managing to make it.

"It's a deal." Naruto clasped hands with the other boy, shaking his hand with a small smile. It wasn't so bad asking for help, and Toushiro had made it seem more like a trade thing than anything else, so it worked. _Heh, guess the bastard really isn't so bad._

00000

"No!" Isshin wailed, clutching his head as he burst into Urahara's office. "It's awful, Kisuke, awful! I can't believe it! Why did this have to happen?" He collapsed onto the tatami mat, sobbing into his arms as he kicked his feet in the air. "I can't believe this! We've been betrayed! Betrayed, I tell you! It's a conspiracy!"

Urahara had seated behind that little desk placed in the corner of room as usual, feet propped on it as he leaned back in his chair. "Tch, what have you gone and done now, Isshin?" he asked, bored and expecting some elaborate story about how the cafeteria was refusing to give him extra muffins or something. "I'm expecting a report from the newest experiment in five, by the way, so I can't spare much time..." He was trying to get out of being roped into hearing it, but he doubted if he had succeeded. Sighing, he placed his hands in his lap and waited. "Please don't tell me it involves a goose, a chicken, and evolution. Because if it does, I'll be gone quicker than you can imagine."

"Kisuke!" Isshin got to his feet, rushing to the man's desk and grabbing the front of his robes, pulling him forward. "They're clothed! _Clothed_! They're not wearing the girls uniforms, they're wearing black Shinigami robes! Tousen told me Jyuushiro and Shunsui authorized it, so when the new stock comes in at the end of the week, they'll be back to the blue uniform and we won't have seen them wearing the girls uniform!" He sounded so distraught, anyone passing by probably would've thought his entire division had died, or he was being demoted or something.

To Isshin, this was far, _far_ worse. Urahara Kisuke, the smartest guy he knew, had a plan—and it had _failed_! He had been foiled by a child! A white-haired, trainee child!

"What's this now?" Urahara asked, appalled. "Are you kidding me? Please tell me you're kidding. That plan was foolproof. I made sure of it!" He removed his feet from the desk, nearly tipping his chair and falling over in pure shock. It—It had to be a misunderstanding, right? How could his plan have failed?! He had made sure any loose ends were tied, but... damn it! He had completely forgotten about Toushiro's resourcefulness. He had underestimated the boy again, and Toushiro had surprised them once more. "This is war, Isshin. If that little devil thinks he's going to get away with outsmarting me, Urahara Kisuke, greatest mastermind of all time, then he is sorely mistaken!"

"Kisuke, don't you think you're taking this a bit far?" Isshin asked, completely sobering up from his previous hysterics. "I mean—thankfully, they don't even know we did it. We're safe for the moment, so we should just continue as planned and meet up with them for lunch." He paused. "What if we invited Jyuushiro and Shunsui? We can let them in on our plans for the two boys, and maybe they can help—or do you not want to tell anyone else about how interesting our little Whitey-chan and Sunshine-kun are?"

Urahara paused, reigning in his playful side for the moment as Isshin scolded him. "I suppose I am going overboard, but I don't like the thought of someone—let alone a child—outsmarting me. It's just not natural." He frowned, musing over the idea of including Shunsui and Ukitake. He really didn't mind, but he didn't like the whole concept of revealing everything to the two other captains. "All right, we can include them, I guess. Just one thing: we don't tell them anything more than necessary. I already had to reveal a lot to Yoruichi since she's helping us, but I don't want the whole of Soul Society finding out about them. Got it? It'd be such a hassle if that happened." For once, he was serious, the look on his face anything but mischievous. But it was gone quicker than it stayed and his expression was once again good-humored. "So, anything special _you_ have planned, Isshin?"

"Yeah, yeah." Isshin rolled his eyes. "Do you honestly think I want to have to fight more people for those two to be in my division? I'm already gonna have problems with you and Yoruichi, I don't need anyone else." He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms. "As for anything special, I was thinking that we could test our little lab rats at lunch. You know, see how quick they are. You're probably gonna be off harassing Sunshine-kun, so I'll have Whitey-chan to myself for once." He stretched then. "I should go talk to Jyuushiro and Shunsui about lunch. They'll be out of class soon, so we need to be ready."

"True, true. But testing them? How so?" Urahara asked curiously, intrigued. "Because of course I already have my questions for our little Sunshine-kun planned out, but I most certainly want to know what you have in mind for Whitey-chan." He stood and straightened out his white captain's haori. "And you best keep that promise about not telling anyone anything more than necessary, Isshin, or you'll owe me a little repayment." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, taunting his friend like he was known to do.

Isshin rolled his eyes at his friend, sighing. "Honestly, how can you expect me to take you seriously and tell you what I'm planning for dear old Whitey-chan if you're making idiotic jokes like that?" He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "I was thinking of just asking him things about how he learned shunpo and where he learned to handle a sword and so on. I mean, it's not every day someone gets picked up off the streets of one of the higher districts and knows perfect fighting technique like that. You have to fill me in on Sunshine-kun, cause I'm just as interested in him. We'll share information. Deal?"

"It's a deal, Kurosaki." He smiled and gave Isshin a short bow. "Now if you'll excuse me I have other matters to attend to, as I mentioned earlier. I'll see you at lunch, ne?"

00000

Isshin whistled a random tune as he headed towards the living quarters of the 13th Division. Since he was going to be inviting Jyuushiro and Shunsui, he had to _find_ them, first. He'd heard from someone that Jyuushiro was sick again—not surprising, since he was _always_ sick—so he figured the best place to start was his room. He reached it within seconds and slid open the door without bothering to knock, as if he could enter without permission.

"Jyuushiro!" he hollered jovially as he walked in. "Oh, and Shunsui! How convenient! How are you?"

"Sick," the white-haired captain replied almost irritably as he coughed. "Can I help you?"

"No, it is I who has come to help _you_." Isshin grinned as he plopped down on the tatami mat, moving closer to Jyuushiro. "How would the two of you like to join Kisuke and me for lunch?" He grinned.

Shunsui, standing stiffly beside Ukitake, and more sober than he'd been all day, asked as patiently as possible, "And to what do we owe the honor, Isshin?" He was intrigued, but his thoughts were mostly clouded with concern for his long-time friend. "I don't even know if Jyuushiro will be able to make it, either, he's been having more frequent spells... Heck, if I have to, I'll tie him to the bed to make sure he gets some much needed rest. I bet that's why he's sick in the first place." He pointedly gave the bed-ridden man a look. "You've been chasing after me for my bad habits, and what of yours, Jyuu-chan?"

"I don't need you mother-henning me," Jyuushiro insisted before turning back to Isshin. "And you should know by now that we'll find any excuse _not_ to—is that a streamer?"

"Huh?" Isshin looked down and laughed as a pink streamer appeared from inside his robes. He tucked it back in. "Yeah, Kisuke and I did some redecorating this morning. In fact, I hear you helped our little Whitey-chan and Sunshine-kun out this morning." He grinned. "This leads me to explaining our invitation. We're going to have the two of them over for lunch, and we were thinking you'd like to join us. You seem just as interested in them as we are." Jyuushiro gave him a horrified look. "Not like _that_!" Isshin rolled his eyes. "We need more women in this place; everyone's starting to think I like little boys."

"Why are you interested in them?" Jyuushiro asked. "We noticed you gave them swords, and the one Urahara gave Naruto-kun is very—interesting."

Isshin stared at him, not sure what to say. "Uh—they're funny?"

"Funny?" Shunsui blinked. "In what way?" There was a definite smirk as he asked that. "Didn't you just say you didn't like little boys like _that_, Isshin?" One of his favorite past times was joking around with Isshin, Jyuushiro was no fun when it came to these types of games. Though, really, he couldn't get any more curious as to why Urahara and Isshin seemed fascinated by those two particular boys. There was more to it than they were being told. It was the only thing Shunsui could think of that would explain the duo and their behavior on the matter. But what was it?

"Yeah. Sunshine-kun can tell one hell of a joke." Isshin laughed loudly, rubbing the back of his head. "So, are you in? Will you come to lunch with us? It'll be fun."

"I'm more interested in why _you're_ so interested," continued Jyuushiro persistently.

"We're not interested in them!" Isshin insisted. "They're funny!" _I can't tell them anything, Urahara will kill me. Must—restrain self!_ Isshin was scared it was going to slip out somehow. Kisuke would _murder_ him. "Look, are you going to come or not?"

Jyuushiro turned to look at Shunsui, silently inquiring what they should do. He wasn't completely opposed to going, but there was more going on here than met the eye, and he wanted to know what it was.

"Don't give me that look, Jyuu-chan!" Shunsui sighed and considered the situation. _Well, if Isshin's not going to supply any details, it would make more sense to just go and find out for ourselves_. "I think I'll go. You said... wait a minute." The man paused, thinking over Isshin's earlier words. "You just called Naruto-kun... Sunshine?" He raised an eyebrow, bemused. "Please tell me you didn't hand out nicknames to _both_ of them."

"I called the other Whitey-chan earlier, didn't I?" he reminded proudly. "I can't recall who gave who the nickname, but I gave one and Kisuke gave the other. Is that a problem?"

"No," Jyuushiro cut in. "We'll join you for lunch."

"Excellent!" Isshin did a little dance on the spot. "Well, meet us in Urahara's office in about an hour. I'm off to kidnap our guests." He paused at the look Jyuushiro gave him. "I mean—Invite our guests?"

"They don't like you, do they?" he accused.

Isshin looked appalled. "They _love_ me! Gotta go!" He rushed out of the room.

Authors' Notes:

_Avril – Another chapter! (insert victory dance here) Episode 112 of Bleach was awesome, wasn't it? More ME time. XD _

_Sarge – Yeah, who told you to be so damn cocky, anyway? (pouts) You were so mean to me… Though you DID warn me that my brat was coming, so… but then again, you compared us!_

_Avril – (smirk) Sorry, sorry. Geez, you act like I did something terrible. It was a compliment, if I do say so myself. You should be honored to be compared to such a fine young man! (innocent look)_

_Sarge – Honored? HONORED? I'm a captain; he's just a brat who can't even avoid my attacks in the morning if he's not paying attention! Don't make me send Kon over to talk your ears off, you know he would!_

_Avril – Tch, you're just mad because you don't have a cool mask like him. :P Psh, get over it. You know he's better than you and you're just jealous. Poor boy, now that I see how he's treated at home I'm tempted to adopt him. (fake tears of pity here)_

_Sarge – You would make him suffer twice as much as me! Honestly, if we asked him, he would DEFINITELY prefer to stay with me, right Ichigo?_

_Ichigo – Can I live alone?_

_Sarge – So mean to me! (cries)_

_Avril – (mock gasp) I would do no such thing to the poor boy. Ichigo, I would never harm a hair on your precious head! Don't let him lie to you like that! And Isshin, suck it up, man. All kids that age want to move out on their own. (pat pat) (winks at Ichigo) Of course, like I said, I wouldn't mind company, Ichigoooo. (sweet, sweet smile.)_

_Ichigo – (horrified)_

_Sarge – Okay, now you're just scaring him. AND, you're the one who pulled his soul out of his body, broke his chain of fate or whatever, and then forced him to become a Shinigami! What makes you think he'd wanna live with you? At least all I ever do is punch him!_

_April – (continues to feign innocence) I recall no such series of events. I do believe you're getting ahead of yourself, Isshin. ;P As I recall, he practically begged for my assistance and then had the nerve to almost try and kill me! Good thing I've so wonderful and all or I would have been minced meat. (smirk) I know YOU would have been mince meat. :P_

_Sarge – Liar. I hate you. (wanders away)_

_**Character List:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Urahara, Shunsui, Yumichika_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Isshin, Jyuushiro, Tousen_


	6. Captains and Their Tricky Tricks

Chapter Six – Captains and Their Tricky Tricks

"Ugh, man, this day has been tiring ... but at least it's been better than yesterday, right?" Naruto crossed his arms behind his head and kept walking toward the cafeteria with Toushiro, his movements sluggish. "I just want a good meal and then a nap before hand-to-hand, what about you, Hitsu-teme?" Something caught his eye from the corner of his vision. "Hey, did you just see a flash of black?"

"Huh?" Toushiro looked up - he'd been inspecting his sword. "No, sorry. Wh—"

"Whitey-chan!" Toushiro shrieked like a girl as he was lifted off the ground and swung violently from side to side, arms wrapped around him from behind. "How are you? It's been so long since I've seen you!"

"Let me go! Naruto, get him off me!" the white-haired boy screamed, kicking his legs, his arms pinned at his sides.

"You're so mean to me." Isshin pouted, still hugging him as he turned to look at Naruto. "Hi, Sunshine-kun. How are you? Doing well?"

Naruto figured that since the man could only restrain one of them at a time, he had a perfect opportunity to make a run for it. Smiling, the blond took a step backwards, readying his escape with that one move. "I'm fine, but you know... have to be going." He feigned an apologetic look to Toushiro. "I'll give Momo-chan your sincere apology for missing lunch. Later." And he turned on his heel, about to dash off. The only problem: he ran smack into someone's chest. Wincing, knowing already who it was, he looked up. "Ah, hello there." He should have known by now that these two particular captains traveled in packs.

Urahara Kisuke smiled pleasantly down at him. "Sunshine-kun! What a coincidence seeing you here! Isshin and I were just about to invite the two of you to lunch."

"We have other plans!" Toushiro hollered, still kicking his legs. "Let me go!"

"Kisuke, I didn't think you'd make it." The dark haired man stuck his tongue out childishly at the other captain as he tightened his hold on Toushiro, as if making a point.

"Are you listening to me?" Toushiro hollered before looking at Naruto. "Make a break for it! One of us has to survive!" he insisted, trying to free his arms so he could grab his sword and slash the hell out of Isshin.

"Don't you think I know that?" Naruto grumbled back, inching away from the man in front of him. He made a move for the sword on his back, but suddenly found his arms pinned to his sides as Urahara seized him in a well-timed hug.

"No, no, no! You're not going anywhere!" cooed Urahara before lifting the blond off the ground and throwing him over his shoulder. "Come, Isshin, we have to meet our other guests back at my office, don't we? And I just put some tea on, boys, so it would be impolite to decline. We're being hospitable, after all. Consider this a 'welcome to being trainees' party, if you must."

"I'm sorry; I'm allergic to drinking tea with crazy captains!" Toushiro insisted as he struggled harder. He looked over at Naruto, who was thrown over Kisuke's shoulder. _We're not going to survive today... we're never gonna graduate..._

"Oh, that's too bad." Isshin pouted. "And I was so looking forward to drinking tea. Guess we'll just have sake."

"We're not old enough to drink!" Toushiro hollered.

"Well, I'm a captain, and I'm allowing you."

"Let me go!"

"Put me down!" Naruto shouted furiously in time with Toushiro's own yell, punching at Urahara's back from his position, practically throwing a fit at the treatment. "You can't just go around dragging people wherever you please!"

"Yes, I can."

"No you can't!"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Yes!"

"But I'm a Captain; I can do as I please." That smug smile, Naruto really wanted to wipe it off the man's face. Really, _really_ wanted to wipe it off. He couldn't see it, but he could just _hear _the smugness in that voice. And it was annoying him to no end that these men thought they could do whatever they pleased to mere trainees. First a spar, and now this. It was getting ridiculous.

"You're going to make us miss hand-to-hand combat, aren't you?" Toushiro whined. His eyes then widened. "Wait! _Wait!_ Who teaches that?"

"Hand-to-hand? Yumichika-san, I believe," Isshin replied.

Toushiro started struggling harder, getting one arm free as his brain calculated the number of detentions they would be adding to the number they _already_ had. They would be in detention until they graduated!

"Let go!" He swung his arm wildly, hitting Isshin right in the face. The captain winced and pouted, but didn't relinquish his hold. "We'll get detentions!"

"I'll send a Hell Butterfly."

"Your lack of ability to send those is what made us get detentions in the first place!" Toushiro hollered angrily.

"Wait, what?" Urahara asked, interested and slightly amused. "Isshin can't send a simple Hell Butterfly? Now this I must hear!" He started back to his office with Naruto still punching at his back, leading the way. "Please, do tell, Whitey-chan."

"Not very complicated," Naruto growled, annoyed. "Your friend is a complete idiot. Makes me look like a genius, if you think about it."

"Yes, but I want to hear _Whitey-chan's_ opinion, if you don't mind," rebutted the dusty haired Captain earnestly.

"Oh, yeah, that's right... _forget_ about the one you're holding. Uh huh, I can deal with that." Naruto made another grab for his sword.

And Urahara stopped him once again. "Nope, haven't necessarily forgotten about you."

"Basically, Isshin is a complete idiot who makes Naruto look like a genius," Toushiro said, using almost the exact same words as Naruto.

"I believe I take offense to that," Isshin insisted with another small pout.

Toushiro ignored him, shifting some more and getting his other arm free. "Aha!" He pulled out his sword, which effectively hit Isshin in the nose. The captain yelped in pain, dropping the younger boy as he clutched his nose.

"Nice knowin' ya, Naruto!" he hollered before he used shunpo to try and get away.

"He's getting away!" Isshin exclaimed, just watching the white-haired teen disappear and making no move to go after him. "Should we just let him go?" He looked at Kisuke, motioning to Naruto with his eyes which clearly said 'it's the other one you're interested in, anyway.'

"No, I suppose I can't just let him get away..." Urahara trailed off, suspicious. "But why aren't _you_ going after him?"

Naruto just slumped against his captor, dumbfounded. Was the captain so confident in his skills that he could let Toushiro get a fair distance away before recapturing him? That thought wasn't too comforting.

"I'm tired." Isshin pouted - a most common occurrence. "I was up and running all day, you know. First this morning with the thing, then after to find Jyuushiro and Shunsui, and then finding Whitey-chan and Sunshine-kun..." He trailed off and looked at his friend. He then rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, fine. I'll get him." He flickered and was gone.

_I am **so** home-free._ Toushiro grinned as he rushed away, only to have something appear in front of him a second after the thought went through his head. Only his quick reflexes allowed him to pivot and turn away, passing the person instead of slamming into them. The back of his collar was grabbed, Toushiro halting as he choked.

"Where do you think you're going? I went through a lot of trouble to find you, you know. And we made tea!" Isshin exclaimed.

Urahara suddenly appeared beside Isshin in a split second, smirking. The captured blond on his shoulder was a little worse for the wear, looking a bit nauseous at having just been randomly shunpo'ed somewhere. In exchange for the motion sickened Naruto, he grabbed Toushiro and substituted the other boy for him. After that, he made a quick get away to his office, not even thanking Isshin for his hard work.

"Ugh, is it just me, or do you really hate that guy, too?" muttered Naruto, leaning against Isshin for support. "And I think I'm going to be sick."

Isshin just blinked, utterly confused with what had just happened. "Hey! He stole my Whitey-chan!" he shouted angrily, only barely remembering to grab Naruto before chasing after his friend. "Kisuke wanted you, and now he's off with Whitey-chan? Come on, Sunshine-kun, we must remedy this!"

Toushiro, himself, was just as confused. "Wha - wait a second! Now _you're_ kidnapping me? Let go!" Toushiro kicked his legs angrily, about ready to throw a fit that would put a two year old to shame. Why was he being carried around? And Naruto, too? Why were they being torturing like this? _Naruto did something in his previous life to deserve this, and I'm just an innocent bystander._

"Well, yes. I wanted you in the first place, but I had to have Isshin loosen up his grip a bit before I could get a good hold of you," the man explained, finally arriving at his office and bursting through the doors jovially. "I'm home!" A speechless Shunsui and Jyuushiro looked up from their kneeled positions on the tatami mats. They didn't even _want_ to know why Urahara was holding Toushiro the way he was.

Meanwhile, Naruto couldn't handle all the shunpo'ing everywhere. His stomach was a bit queasy as it was from this morning's assault by pink and no breakfast what-so-ever, and now all the current accelerated motion was just making things worse. He buried his face in Isshin's robe, the older man barely paying him any attention. _Ugh, I told him I was going to be sick._ When he threw up all over the man's Shinigami uniform, Isshin never saw it coming.

And the man had just entered Urahara's office when Naruto had decided to surprise him with his stomach contents. "Gross!" The Shinigami dropped Naruto to the ground, disgusted. He then proceeded to strip off the first layer of his robes to clean them.

Toushiro, in the meantime, was still being held by Kisuke, growing more and more annoyed by the second. "Hello? Excuse me! We're here, will you let me - Hey! Was that a pink streamer?" he suddenly hollered, struggling in Kisuke's arms. "I just saw a pink streamer, I know I did!"

Jyuushiro stood up, moving towards the still stripping Isshin, picking up the streamer that had fallen from his robes. "Yes, yes it is, Toushiro-kun. Why do you ask?"

"Pink?" Naruto asked weakly, wiping at his mouth and feeling a little better than he had previously. "Did you really just say pink?" His blank gaze found Toushiro, his mind trying to catch up with his body - most likely from being shunpo'ed.

"Ah yes, weren't you doing some redecorating this morning, Isshin?" noted Shunsui, entering the conversation.

This time, Urahara really _did_ face-palm himself. _Yes, Isshin is an idiot to rival Naruto. An untested fact, for sure. _Thinking of a way to explain away the streamer, he tried changing the subject momentarily. "Well, Shunsui, I'm more interesting in what you brought with you!" He gestured with his free hand—the one not holding Toushiro up and keeping a steady grip on the boy—to the bottle sitting neatly beside the other captain's folded leg. "I take it, something good?"

"Why yes! It's a new rice wine I've been dying to try, no pun intended." Shunsui emitted a proud beam, picking up the bottle and holding it like a baby.

_Mhmm... and Shunsui's a close second for runner-up idiot. Why yes, I do believe he is._ Urahara sighed and glanced at Jyuushiro. "Thank you for coming, both of you."

"You bastard!" Toushiro had been pounding his fist against Kisuke's chest the entire time the other had been speaking. "You helped him! We almost had to walk around like _women_!"

Jyuushiro chose to answer Kisuke instead of commenting on Toushiro. "You're welcome. Thanks for inviting us." He leaned closer to Kisuke. "Make sure you try the damn wine, Shunsui's been annoying me about it since this morning."

"Hello? I'm loud! And punching people! How can you ignore me?" Toushiro screamed before looking at Naruto, who was beside a half-naked Isshin. _More of him than I **ever** wanted to see... _"Hey, dumbass! They're the ones who made our room pink! Do something!"

"Aw, don't be so mean to poor Sunshine-kun." Isshin bent down, lifting Naruto to his feet and patting his shoulder. "Can't you see he's sick? Come on, Sunshine-kun, let's get you seated."

Toushiro gave up, going limp in Kisuke's grip. "I'm surrounded by idiots, and doomed to die in the arms of another man..."

Naruto, still a bit green, took a seat as well, scooting away from Isshin in the process. _Hitsu's gotta be kidding me; these two jerks were the ones that made our room girly? Well, they do seem a bit on the funny side..._ He scooted a little further away.

Shunsui held out the wine to the blond boy, nearly hitting the poor kid in the face while doing so. "The best thing for a sick stomach is wine, my dear boy. Alcohol makes everything better." He nodded sagely, as if he knew this to be true from pure experience. The pink-wearing captain probably _did_ know from experience. Naruto was stuck. Sitting between Isshin and Shunsui, he didn't know which to be worse.

"Let's sit, too, Whitey-chan!" As if to make sure this happened, Urahara took a seat and positioned Toushiro between him and Jyuushiro, making sure the boy couldn't escape. He even slung an arm around the boy's shoulders to hold him in place.

"Well." Isshin rubbed his hands together. "Shall we begin eating?"

Toushiro kept his mouth shut as he sat between the two psychotic captains, glaring daggers at nothing in particular. Jyuushiro had attached himself to him the second he'd been plopped down, and with Kisuke's arm around his shoulder, he wasn't going _anywhere_.

"If I finish, can I leave?"

"Of course," Isshin bellowed jovially.

"Fine, not hungry, I'm done." He started to stand, only to be yanked back down by Jyuushiro.

"No! I don't want to be the only white-haired person in the room!" He hugged Toushiro tightly. "Stay with me!"

"I can't breathe," the boy said plainly.

Naruto looked at the food, looked at Isshin, looked at Shunsui, and then looked at the door. There was a sad, dejected sort of longing present on his face. If only he could make to the entrance... then he'd be home free. It was a very unlikely dream.

Smiling, Urahara tugged Toushiro back toward himself and away from Jyuushiro's grasp. "Let him eat first, Jyuu-Jyuu, and then you can glomp him to your heart's content."

"I feel like a rag doll," the white-haired boy muttered, looking across the table at Naruto, who was in just as big a predicament. At least his captors were _clothed_. Isshin was the one holding Naruto in place, and he didn't have any form of a shirt on. _Well, it's his fault we got into this mess in the first place!_ Toushiro reminded himself.

"Eat, Naruto! You could use some more meat on your bones!" Isshin dropped a bunch of stuff on the blond's plate, not even noticing he was still a little green. "Hey, Shunsui, I'll have some of that sake."

"You should eat, too." Jyuushiro started piling food onto Toushiro's plate. "That way, I can glomp you!" He looked excited about the prospect. Toushiro wanted to cry.

Shunsui gasped delightedly and rummaged through his uniform for another bottle he always kept on hand. "Sake party!" He poured some into Isshin's tea cup and then his own, switching bottles and adding the rice wine into Naruto's cup, urging the boy to drink it. "I promise it'll make you feel better, Naruto-kun." He nodded and, as if adding proof to fact, he downed a large gulp of the wine himself before smacking his lips and wiping the excess from his chin. "Good stuff, rice wine." He smiled happily, put the bottle down, and went back to his meal—humming just to add to the torture that was this lunch break.

Naruto, going even greener than before, tried to push the food and now tainted tea away. "Uh... I'm not very hungry either..."

"Nonsense," Urahara refused to accept no as an answer. "We invited you, the _least_ you can do is humor us."

"You redecorated our room and tried to make us walk around in the girl's uniforms. I think the_ least_ we can do is not _kill_ you, and seeing as how we tied when we both fought you and the idiot over there, _that's_ saying something," Toushiro muttered, glowering.

Isshin's hand froze; the cup halfway to his lips, his eyes large and focused on Kisuke. It looked like their little secret was out.

"Tied? You guys tied with Kisuke and Isshin?" Jyuushiro asked, amazed.

Isshin started guffawing loudly, putting his hand on Naruto's head and patting it much harder than was needed. "Ah, kids, you know? They're just full of themselves. They didn't even make us take out our swords."

_He didn't... No, of course he didn't... he did, didn't he? _Scowling, Naruto pushed off the hand on his head roughly and looked at Jyuushiro with a renewed sort of gleam in his eyes, ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach for the moment in true Uzumaki style as he commented on that belittling comment from Isshin. "Oh, we did _more_ than make them merely _take out_ their swords." His eyes narrowed, a frown tugging at his lips. "We made them _unsheathe_ the damn things while we were at it."

Shunsui, in slight awe at this new information, raised a hand to his head and rubbed at a slowly growing headache. "You've got to be kidding me… Is that true, Isshin? Kisuke?"

"Haha!" Urahara laughed, suddenly standing and spreading his arms wide. "Gotcha! You really thought that happened, didn't you fellows?" He gave pointed looks to the two boys. "We had this whole thing set up from the start to trick you. Sorry Jyuushiro, Shunsui." He faked a sheepish smile. "You see, it's just a little revenge for the horror that is Shunsui strip dancing."

"I'll have you know it was hot that night! I was not 'strip' dancing!" objected Shunsui, quickly forgetting about the earlier part of the conversation.

"Just you wait one damn second!" Toushiro shoved away from Jyuushiro, who was still holding him, standing up to face off with Kisuke, glaring. "You make us get a month's detention to spar with you, we both draw, and now you're pretending like it never happened just so you're not embarrassed in front of your friends?" he demanded with irritation clear in his voice.

Isshin stayed silent, sipping his sake without a word, ignoring the heated glares he was getting from Toushiro on occasion, and making sure not to look at Kisuke, lest the other ask for help. He was enjoying his sake.

Jyuushiro himself had a thoughtful expression on his face as he watched Toushiro face off with Kisuke before turning to look at Shunsui. Something about this whole thing wasn't right, and despite his friend's quick subject change, he knew the other could sense it, too.

"Why would I be embarrassed?" Urahara challenged. The situation was slowly falling apart, deteriorating right in front of him. And if this failed and Jyuushiro and Shunsui found out, he would have no one to blame but himself. He had to rectify things before they got out of hand.

Naruto, still outraged at Isshin's earlier remark, turned to the man, not letting him off the hook either. "Explain yourself before I kick your ass again in a spar! Don't think I won't challenge you again if I have to!"

Disregarding the shouting blond and using him as a distraction for the moment, Urahara leaned in and whispered quietly to Toushiro, making the boy see reason. "I wouldn't go bragging if I was you, or you'll have even _more_ crazy people after you. And trust me, some crazy people are just that—crazy. And not in the good way. Again, if I were you, I would just sit down, pretend like this was all a joke, and let things settle down. Got that?"

Naruto continued shouting at Isshin throughout the whole whispered conversation, calling for a re-match now and getting increasingly louder. Even if Urahara had been a bit noisier, Shunsui and Jyuushiro would hardly hear the soft-spoken words over all that.

Toushiro stared at Kisuke as the captain pulled away, wondering if maybe the other wasn't doing this for their own good. After all, even Kaien had been somewhat shocked at his and Naruto's reaitsu. That, and they were just kids. The way Kisuke had spoken and the look in his eye actually proved to Toushiro that he wasn't embarrassed at having lost—quite the contrary, he was fascinated. And as he'd said—sometimes, it was best not to stand out.

Turning, the boy sat back own, biting into the sushi that had been set on his plate. "Give it up, Naruto, the gig is up," he said to the other, kicking him hard under the table to make him stop screaming and giving him a look that told him to stop. _I'll explain later, dumbass, just stop before something happens._ "Urahara-taichou ruined it before we could get the other two to believe us, anyway."

Jyuushiro watched Toushiro as the boy ate, not quite sure what was happening. Casting another glance at Shunsui, he asked with his eyes what the other man thought of the situation. Were they really joking—or was something much larger happening here?

Taking a seat again, Urahara breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that Toushiro had taken the hint calmly and just went with it. "Sorry again. The plan was rather rushed and not up to par with my usual standards." He smiled, trying to relieve some of the building tension in the room.

Halting in his tirade when kicked, Naruto slumped in his seat, confused. _What's going on? Why did Hitsu suddenly stop?_

Looking between all the members seated at the table, Shunsui shrugged and offered up more sake and rice wine. "Well, that was rather strange. Usually Isshin's the one to foil your plans, Kisuke. Not yourself."

"Hn, it happens, my friend. All good things must come to an end."

"Hm ... that almost sounded humble, how unlike you," commented Shunsui lightly.

"Kisuke," Isshin whined. "Sunshine-kun keeps elbowing me." The captain rubbed at his side as if to prove his point.

"It's because you're an idiot," Toushiro commented as he continued to eat, avoiding Naruto's inquiring gaze. There would be loads of time to answer his questions later, after lunch. Right now, he just wanted to eat and get to class before they got more detentions.

"Don't call me an idiot! I'm a captain!"

"Yeah, a shirtless captain who redecorated our room in _pink_ and kills Hell Butterflies," Toushiro replied easily, not the least bit perturbed by their banter.

"Wha—But—Kisuke, do something!" he complained.

Jyuushiro watched the exchange the whole time, beginning to think that maybe it had really been a joke. He wouldn't know until he discussed it later with Shunsui in private.

The silence that had befallen the table after Isshin's little episode was welcome as they finished up their lunch, if a bit awkward on Naruto's part. To break the ice, Toushiro went back to bickering with Isshin while Shunsui nudged Naruto in the side to gain his attention.

"So, all for a joke, eh?" The captain winked and ruffled the boy's messy blond hair affectionately. "I like you, kid."

_Oh joy_, thought Naruto, less than enthused.

"Now, now, Shunsui! You're going to make the boy blush like a school girl if you keep that up," Urahara quipped, adding his colorful opinion on the matter.

"You jest, Kisuke."

"Never."

Naruto did not appreciate being compared to a girl, especially when he wasn't using a harem jutsu. He had a manly image to maintain. "Oi, I ain't a school girl! What do I have to do to prove it? Pull down my pants?" He crossed his arms, grumpy and still a bit sick to the stomach. This was testing his patience to the maximum, and he was ready to explode.

Toushiro choked on the water he was drinking. "Please don't," he insisted. "I don't need to see that much of you, no matter _how_ close we are."

"Aw, are you embarrassed, Whitey-chan? Or perhaps," Isshin gasped for emphasis. "Are you worried he might be—_bigger_?"

Toushiro stared at Isshin before looking at Kisuke. "How do you put up with him? Honestly, how do you put up with him? I'd have _killed_ him by now!"

"Oh, such rage." Jyuushiro grabbed the younger boy, hugging him tightly. "Don't be so angry, Toushiro-kun, it'll be all right."

"I stood a better chance out in the high-numbered districts," the boy muttered, his face buried in Jyuushiro's chest.

Naruto started inching backwards, done with playing with his food. It was time to attempt another escape. _Slowly, slowly_, he reminded himself, determined to do this right.

"So, who's up for a game of cards?" inquired Shunsui happily, pulling out a deck from inside his sleeves and shuffling them expertly. "And don't give me that look, Jyuu-chan!"

"Toushiro-kun? Oh my God, it _is_ you!" Toushiro was expecting someone to glomp him based on the tone of voice, but he soon realized it wasn't Rangiku, as he'd expected yet again, but Nanao. _She's acting—odd..._

The oddity continued as he was hugged by her from behind, something he was fairly certain she would _never_ do under any circumstance. "You're wearing black robes! And eating with captains! How exciting. Hi, Ise Nanao. Ise Nanao," she said as she held out her hand, shaking Jyuushiro's, and then Shunsui's, continuing to Isshin and Kisuke. "Wow, this is exciting." She squeezed in between Toushiro and Jyuushiro. "Captains, wow. How did you get into their good graces?"

Toushiro looked at Naruto, formulating a plan. If Nanao distracted the captains, he and Naruto could make a break for it.

"Who's your friend?" Isshin asked, motioning the other girl standing a little ways away.

The girl blushed and looked down, toeing at the entrance carpet sheepishly. "Ah, I'm Kotetsu... Kotetsu Kiyone!" She smiled, bowed formally and continued to stand before the captains, unsure of herself.

"Aww, she's cute!" Shunsui grinned and motioned her to sit next him. "Come, join the festivities!"

"Welcome," Kisuke greeted the two young girls, amused. "I wonder what a pair such as you were doing loitering around the 12th Division."

Naruto, eyes lighting up when he saw the scheming look in Toushiro's own, smiled and waited patiently for some kind of signal. Maybe this was the break they had been waiting for; it was perfect timing, too.

"Oh, we're old friends with Naruto and Toushiro." Nanao grabbed Toushiro's arm, smiling. "Well, I am, anyway. Kiyone is my friend. You don't mind if we join you? Of course you don't." She smiled sweetly.

Isshin started laughing loudly, the sake already starting to affect him. "I like her, I like her. You a trainee, too?"

"Who, me? Oh yes. _Promising_ trainee, as Yumichika-sensei often tells me." She smiled pleasantly.

Toushiro just rolled his eyes, trying to free his arm from the girl's grip. She wasn't letting go. This put a damper on his plans.

"So, Toushiro, Naruto, you two silly boys," she teased, causing Toushiro to raise an eyebrow. "How is it you know these fine captains?"

"Y'hear that, Kisuke? She called me fine." Isshin grinned at his friend.

"I think she's more interested in your status," Jyuushiro chuckled, sipping his drink.

"Yeah, Nanao, since when are you this _chipper_?" Toushiro accused, glaring at her.

"Never, that's when," mumbled Naruto, frowning. Though this didn't bother his plans very much, just because Toushiro was being restrained didn't mean he couldn't make a break for it.

"Well, you have to admit, it isn't very often we get this fine opportunity to dine with some nice women." Shunsui winked to Nanao before standing up and walking over to the out of place Kiyone. "Come on, have a seat, you're making me anxious just watching you stand and twiddle your thumbs."

Blush firing anew, Kiyone jerked her head in an awkward nod and took a seat beside Naruto. Shunsui took the place beside her and Naruto sighed in relief... he was in the clear for the door now with the drunkard captain busying himself with the shy girl. _Now, to enact my plan_. Naruto smiled sweetly at Toushiro, waved, and then made a mad dash for the door.

Urahara just laughed and raised his tea cup high into the air. "Bottoms up!" After downing his drink, he shunpo'ed in time to stop the blond in his tracks before he was even half way to the door. "You're not even a match for Whitey-chan yet and you actually thought you could get away?" He spoke the last part softly, not wanting the girls nor the other captains to hear.

Toushiro cheered inside. "If I suffer, _Sunshine-kun_, so do you," he called out to Naruto, still trying to remove Nanao from his arm. He finally got free, standing up to get away from her. Isshin appeared behind him.

"I hope you're not thinking of escaping, too."

"No, just wanted to get that damn leech off me." He jerked his head in Nanao's direction, the girl busy talking to Jyuushiro and Shunsui, completely ignoring Kiyone.

Toushiro frowned at that. He and Naruto may have tried to ditch the other to save their own hides, but they were still friends. If they ended up fighting to the death in a battle of any sort, Toushiro would never leave Naruto behind, and he was certain the blond would do the same. They were friends, and friends came before anything else, so to see Nanao ignoring her friend to get ahead just angered him.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Isshin wrapped his arm around Toushiro's shoulders, leading him away from the table to the opposite side of the room from Kisuke and Naruto.

"Uh, I guess."

"It's about Naruto." Isshin informed, stopping a little ways away and turning to the white-haired boy.

"What about him?"

"Tell me about him. Kisuke is… interested in him."

"Interested?" Toushiro didn't like the sound of that, casting a glance at Naruto, a bit nervous. "Interested in what way?"

He remembered the sword, and the fact that Kisuke was the head of the 12th Division. The Research Institute of Technology. This didn't bode well with Toushiro and he shifted uncomfortably.

00000

"Can I talk to you outside?" Urahara asked, voice still low.

Naruto gave the man a look, not really trusting Kisuke—well, to put it simply, he trusted the captain as far as he could throw him, which was not very far, nor very much.

"I just have a few things I want to ask you, no need to get defensive," teased Urahara, acting the part of a good friend. "Please, like you've been doing all lunch, humor me."

Sighing, still wary, Naruto nodded shortly and followed Urahara outside, stiff as a rail. "What is it you want to ask me?"

"It's about... your reiatsu." He smiled comfortingly. "Don't worry, I don't experiment on humans... well, not much, anyway."

Naruto gulped. This conversation was quickly going downhill.

00000

"Don't worry," Isshin insisted. "It's nothing bad; he just wants to know about his reiatsu."

Toushiro shot a glance at Naruto and Kisuke, noticing they were exiting the office. He went to follow, Isshin grabbing his arm. "Don't worry, I said. He just wants to talk to him."

"Yeah, well he can talk to him with me present." Toushiro tore his arm free, headed for the door, only to be stopped by Jyuushiro.

"Toushiro! You truly _must_ spend time with me and these wonderful, _wonderful_ ladies," he stated happily.

"Actually, I just need to—"

"Come on." He pulled Toushiro down into a seat, despite the other's protests. Isshin pouted at having lost his chance to talk to Toushiro about Naruto, but figured Kisuke could find everything out and inform him of it. _Now that I think about it, I was meant to be asking Toushiro about himself... but dammit, Naruto is just so much more interesting_, the captain thought to himself.

Nanao had grabbed Toushiro's arm again, trapping him. He cast another worried glance at the door. If Naruto didn't come back in five minutes, he was going out there.

00000

"So, what about my 'reiatsu' do you want to know about?" Naruto shifted uncomfortably, not liking that penetrating stare of Urahara's. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"No, no! Nothing like that." An innocent smile graced the man's face. "If you would, could I have my sword back for a moment?"

"Uh… okay." He un-strapped the sword on his back and tossed it to the captain, keeping the short distance between them as best he could. He didn't want to be near the odd man any more than necessary. He might... do things to him. Experiment-wise, that was. After the sword left him completely, he felt that familiar wave of power wash over his body, reenergizing him in a way that nothing else could—well, maybe ramen.

"Feel any different?" inquired Kisuke politely, tilting his head like a curious puppy. "Any different at all?"

"Yeah..." He gave the captain another odd look. "What's with that sword? Why's it do that?"

"Do what?" Urahara asked, feigning obliviousness.

"Suck my power."

Kisuke coughed. "Suck your what?"

Naruto's eyes grew wide, horrified. "Not that!"

"Suuureee."

"Ew." His reiatsu had flared momentarily under his mental distress, but nothing Urahara couldn't handle. Though, this was curious, indeed. The captain wondered what would happen if he prodded the boy a bit more, making Naruto even more agitated.

"Now, the next thing I wanted to ask you." Kisuke put on his best serious face. "I would like a small reiatsu sample." As if to make his point, he took out a large needle and gestured for Naruto to hold out his arm. "It'll only take a moment and then we'll be done. I promise."

Squeaking, eyes impossibly wide as he watched the big, pointy, shiny instrument grow closer, he backed up and his reiatsu sky-rocketed.

Urahara gasped, dropping the fake needle and clutching at his chest, hardly able to breathe. _What in the world? How... how could he be this powerful?_ He couldn't take a step closer, the power weighing down on him just too great. It was as if Naruto had even subconsciously willed his spiritual power to hold him in place, making sure he couldn't come any closer with the needle. _He's... scared._ Trying to regain his breath, he coughed and took in a lungful of air. The sensation didn't go away, the pressure continuing to build in his chest. Naruto's terror wasn't lessening any, his fearful eyes still on Urahara. There was a certain deer-caught-in-headlights look about the blond. The captain couldn't stand the pressure any more and he sank to his knees before Naruto, flinching at the fact he had collapsed before a mere rookie. "All—All right, Naruto... All right, that's enough." He coughed, struggling to get out the words. "I said that's enough!"

The building power suddenly stopped. Urahara chanced a look, not even having realized he'd squeezed his eyes shut somewhere along the lines. "Oh dear God, he fainted again."

00000

Toushiro's head shot up as he felt the immense pressure. He looked around, seeing everyone could feel it. Isshin looked really uneasy, and the two girls looked like they were struggling to breathe. Toushiro had experienced this before, but it was dulled due to the fact that Naruto wasn't anywhere near him right now.

Without a word, the white-haired boy jumped to his feet, pulling free from the captain and Nanao, rushing for the door. Isshin went to stop him, but Toushiro dodged him, making it outside just as he heard Kisuke screaming and the pressure let up. He tripped over Kisuke, who was on his knees on the ground, and saw Naruto passed out.

"Naruto!" He scrambled towards his friend, shaking him. "Naruto! _Naruto_!" He turned to Kisuke angrily. "What did you do to him? _What did you do?_"

"What's going on out here?" Jyuushiro appeared in the doorway, despite Isshin trying to stop him. "What was that reiatsu just now? What happened?"

Toushiro ignored him, still glaring angrily at Kisuke as he shook Naruto to wake him up. "What did you do?"

"Kisuke, we need to get them back inside," Isshin whispered, putting his hands on his friend's shoulders and looking around. "We don't know who might see. Come on."

Shunsui appeared next to Jyuushiro in the doorway, frowning and glancing around. "What in the world is going on here? I think ... I'm going to need more sake..."

Laughing shakily, Urahara stood back up with Isshin's help. "Nothing, nothing at all... just a little mishap." He turned sharply when he felt another presence fleeing the scene, and it wasn't one he recognized right off the top of his head. All he caught was a shadowy figure departing. The intruder must have been rather smug or content to have let his or her reiatsu slip so casually. Kisuke had barely been able to pick up on it, though, his senses frazzled due to the immense spiritual pressure he'd been exposed to merely a second ago. _This is obviously not my day... not at all._

Isshin looked at Kisuke as he noticed the other looking off. He leaned closer to him. "I felt it, too," he whispered, so low that he was certain no one but Kisuke had heard. This didn't bode well for them, especially if the person got a good look at Naruto and Toushiro. "Hey, get him inside," he barked at Toushiro, causing the other to jump, stunned.

The boy didn't need any more prompting, though, shifting to pull Naruto onto his back before standing, looking exactly the same way he had back when Kaien had first found him and the blond along with Momo. He walked back into the office with the unconscious boy, throwing a filthy glare at Kisuke. He understood why the captain might not want Jyuushiro and Shunsui to know about Naruto, but the second those two captains left… that man had a lot of explaining to do.

00000

"Yoruichi-sama! Yoruichi-sama!" panted Soifon, rushing into the 2nd Division office without a single knock. It was very unlike her. "You won't believe what's going on! Something happened to one of the boys I was watching!" She stumbled and fell, sprawled out on the floor. "Ouch."

"Calm down." Yoruichi jumped to her feet, helping her vice captain stand as she tried to make sense of what the other had said. "Something happened to one of the boys? What happened? Why? Which one?" She forced herself to calm down, taking a deep breath. "Are you okay?" she asked. First and foremost, she needed to ensure that her vice captain was all right. "Are you injured?"

"No! Not at all!" She blushed and took a step back, bowing. "Sorry for disrupting you, Yoruichi-sama! It's just... I thought you would like to know since you ordered the mission." The feeling of that boy's reiatsu still lingered on her skin, the sensation a bit terrifying and yet exhilarating all the same. "It was so strange. One minute, I couldn't feel any sort of pressure from this blond kid, and then all of a sudden..." She waved her hands around, motioning wildly. "Kaboom! There was this _huge_ surge of reiatsu once he handed something to Urahara-taichou... and then afterward... the boy just fainted."

"Fainted?" Yoruichi was concerned. "He fainted after he gave something to Kisuke? What exactly happened, explain everything you saw." She knew she wasn't being very nice, but she also knew Kisuke. She didn't trust him, and if this boy was interesting enough for him to ask her to have her people watch him, she was concerned for his safety. "I want to know everything."

Calming down, Soifon closed her eyes for a brief moment, taking a much needed breath. She then started on the true explanation, informing her captain of everything she had seen from her position hidden in a tree. She spoke the long report in her normal tone of voice, stately and proper, just like her status required. Once done, she bowed again, saying, "And that's all I know, Yoruichi-sama. The last I saw, they were headed back into Urahara-taichou's office." She frowned for a split second, hesitating. "And, well... there was another presence." She stopped, unsure if she should go on.

"Thank you, Soifon; that was most helpful. I'll discuss the other presence with you later; right now, I have someone to visit." Anger flashed behind her golden eyes as she disappeared from in front of Soifon, using shunpo to get to Kisuke's office as fast as she could.

Reaching it, she slammed through the double doors angrily, reiatsu flaring as her eyes scanned the area. Falling on the unconscious blond who was lying on a futon, her eyes then sought out the man responsible, locking eyes with him.

Before he could say anything, she used shunpo to appear right in front of him, making her anger clear. "Outside, now, Urahara Kisuke. _Right_ now," she hissed vehemently.

Urahara's jaw could sink no lower. He hadn't been expecting Yoruichi, but he should have after that little escapade. "Right, I'll just be going," he said placidly to his guests, standing and heading back outside with his friend. "What's this about exactly, Yoruichi?" he asked once they were out in the fresh air that Seireitei had to offer. "I thought we weren't going to meet up and discuss until later tonight." He sighed, in no way appreciating the glare he was receiving from the woman. "What are you so mad about? This doesn't involve you and you're getting awfully worked up."

Yoruichi ignored his words, slapping Kisuke hard across the face. "A child. Kami-sama, Kisuke, a _child_!" she hissed angrily, barely able to contain her rage as her reiatsu was released, making the air thicker around her. "I knew you were interested in him, but for you to go so far as do something to his sword and then ask for a reiatsu sample? What is _wrong_ with you?" She slapped him again, wanting to do much more than just _slap_ the man.

Urahara stood his ground, rubbing at his sore cheek. "Are you implying that I'm going to hurt this boy? I beg to the contrary. I'm only interested in this boy for pure curiosity. Hell, I didn't even _know_ that this was going to happen. I was just having a little fun." _Whoops, not a very good thing to say in front of a pissed off Yoruichi. Really, you'd think someone pulled her tail and didn't let go, the way she's acting._ He sighed and held up his hands defensively. "Look, Yoruichi-love—" He paused, wincing as he was slapped a little too soundly for a third time._ Yup, definitely not a good thing to mention fun to a pissed off Yoruichi... and the pet name. Ugh, what was I thinking? Nope, I wasn't thinking, was I? _He sighed again. _Oh hell._

Angered beyond belief with her friend's actions, fun or not, she reached down for her sword, pulling it out of its sheath. "Lash out, Mugoineko!" she screamed, the sword shifting in her hand. The hilt remained the same, but the blade itself seemed to melt, transforming into what seemed to be liquid silver that retained the shape of a whip. She snapped it angrily on the ground, the tip hitting Kisuke's chin, causing a small gash to form.

"You do _not_ experiment on _children_, Kisuke!" she hollered angrily, getting ready to attack him more harshly.

Ignoring the gash on his chin with practiced ease, Urahara tried once more, calm and unyielding. "I know, I know, Yoruichi-love... and I don't intend to do any such thing to Naruto-kun, all right? Now, please, put your sword away."

Near the entrance to the 12th Division office, a gaggle of spectators had gathered—Kiyone, Nanao, Shunsui, and Jyuushiro exiting the stuffy office to find out what was going on; to find out what they were missing. Shunsui was rather surprised to see Yoruichi had drawn her sword, even releasing it into its initial state in testament to her anger. She really was pissed about something. He glanced at Jyuushiro; they were definitely having a talk later about these strange events. Just what was going on?

Toushiro merely glanced out the window as he heard the shouting, glad that this woman—whoever she was—was yelling and fighting with Kisuke over what he'd done to Naruto. The boy himself looked back down at Naruto, slapping his cheeks lightly. "Come on, dumbass. Wake up."

00000

"You better draw yours, Kisuke, or you're going to be in a lot of pain." Yoruichi snapped her whip again before flickering right before his eyes, reappearing behind him to lash out again, hitting the back of his neck. A trail of blood slid down to soak the collar of his white captain robe, not that she minded. He deserved it for what he'd done to—to—well, she still wasn't sure which one was which, but he was going to pay, anyway!

Wincing, the pain on the back of his neck in no way ignorable, he turned and faced her. It hurt him, but he was going to have to draw his sword in defense against a hostile Yoruichi. _Maybe she'll come to her senses?_ He dodged another blow to his head, drawing Benihime from her sheath and twirling her in the air, his face devoid of all emotion. "Come now, Yoruichi, this isn't what you want. I might seriously hurt you in a real fight." He knew it sounded cocky, but he didn't want her to get hurt—not by his hand. "I didn't hurt anyone!" He blocked another slash from her extended whip, wincing when it made contact with his fighting arm. _Damn, she knows I'm better right-handed so she's aiming for that one right off the bat. Stubborn woman._

"Hurt me?" the woman hissed as she used shunpo to move around the other captain, never staying in one spot too long. "_Hurt_ me, Kisuke? You'll have to _catch_ me, first!" she hollered, whipping at him relentlessly. He blocked most of them, but she still got a few good hits in. "Do you even understand what you're thinking? He's not a toy you can just _play_ with, Kisuke, he's a human being! A _boy_!"

"I know that!" Urahara shouted back, bristling as he blocked another blow from her whip and used a counter-attack with his own brand of shunpo. He got inside her defense, hollering at the last moment, "Awaken, Benihime!" There was a flash as the half-sword turned into a full blown katana with a crimson ribbon and other tassels attached to the hilt, adding an inventive twist. It most certainly wasn't a cane in any way, shape, or form now. The sword in its released state allowed him better access to Yoruichi and a better chance at landing a blow. She, of course, blocked the first round, but he somehow got inside her defenses again and scrapped her shoulder with the point of the blade. "You were saying, Yoruichi?"

"Yoruichi! Kisuke! Stop this," Isshin insisted from the doorway. "You're being childish for no re—" He cut himself off as he felt pain stinging his cheek, blood trickling down the side of his face.

"Stay out of this," Yoruichi hissed angrily, her eyes flashing dangerously. "I know you were in on this with Kisuke, so if you don't want to be next, back off!"

Jyuushiro looked back and forth between the three captains, not understanding at all, but knowing it had something to do with the unconscious blond inside. He touched Shunsui's elbow gently before motioning inside with his head, wanting to reenter the office to check on Naruto and maybe find out what the hell was going on. He left Nanao and Kiyone's sides as they stared in wonderment and awe, hoping Shunsui would follow.

Shunsui nodded discretely and started back into the office, brushing by Isshin. He kneeled beside Toushiro once inside, feeling the blond's forehead. "Has this ever happened before?" the man asked, dead serious. This was no time for jokes or being run around in circles. His gaze conveyed he was not playing anymore, worried for an innocent boy.

Toushiro knew not to mess around, and it wasn't like Shunsui was asking something he wasn't willing to answer. Just an inquiry about whether or not this had happened before. He didn't have to say when or why or how. Just a simple yes or no.

"Yes," he whispered. "Once before. Took him a few hours to wake up." He brought his thumb to his mouth, biting his nail nervously as he watched Naruto. Would there ever come a time where maybe the blond… _wouldn't_ wake up?

The thought worried Toushiro.

00000

Yoruichi, her focus now back on Kisuke, ignored the nick on her shoulder, rolling them once before getting back into position. "You got one hit, Kisuke, just one. We both know that between the 2nd Division and the 12th, the 2nd is stronger, U-ra-ha-ra-tai-chou," she teased, a grin forming on her face.

Isshin wondered if this fight was even about Naruto anymore.

"Are you testing me, Yoruichi-love?" Urahara growled right back. "I don't appreciate that." He flickered, appearing behind her. Whip clashed with blade. They broke apart and clashed again. The battle was a fight of give and take. One moment he was attacking, and then Yoruichi drove him to defend. The reverse would then follow, neither getting the upper hand. Frustrated, Urahara commanded of his sword, "Cry, Benihime." The energy blast launched itself at the woman, but he trusted her skills in dodging. After letting the energy discharge itself upon Yoruichi, he immediately used shunpo again, sneaking up behind her for a double attack. All he needed was for her to dodge that blow... and he had her. _Just a little more..._

Yoruichi could've dodged the blow had she wanted to. In fact, she even could've countered it and hit Kisuke. But enough was enough. She was going to need a new captain's haori after this encounter.

Reiatsu shot out of the female captain like lightning, shredding the back of her captain's haori but doing nothing else to the rest of her uniform which had been tailored to accommodate such a technique. Her back, arms and shoulders were all exposed, allowing visible reiatsu that crackled like thunder to be heard and seen dancing on her skin.

The reiatsu blocked Kisuke's little energy blast on its own, forcing the other captain back as she slowly turned to glare at him, annoyed and very pissed off.

Urahara backed up a bit more, putting a healthy distance between them. He laughed nervously, knowing what that specific attack entailed—and it wasn't exactly pleasant. "Calm down, love, calm down. You're going to burn yourself out..." He trailed off, raising Benihime and ready to make a shield if she decided to _use_ that attack. He wasn't going to just stand around and let her knock him around like rag doll, after all.

00000

Naruto groaned, rolling away from all the noises and curling into a ball on the floor. "What's going on?" His question came out as more of a disgruntled half moan, his sleep preordained to be interrupted. "Why the hell can I never take a nap around this damn place?"

"He lives!" Shunsui exclaimed, scooping the blond boy off the floor and into a bone-breaking hug. "He really lives!"

"He _won't_ live if you don't let him breathe!" Toushiro slapped at Shunsui. "Get off him!"

Jyuushiro put his hand on Shunsui's shoulder to make him release the blond, Toushiro yanking him from the pink-clad man's grip.

"Naruto? Hey, dumbass, you okay?" The concern was evident in his voice.

Isshin, who'd been keeping an eye on the happenings inside and outside, noticed Naruto had woken up, calling out to Kisuke and Yoruichi with all due haste, "Hey! Naruto's awake!"

Just as fast as it had happened, Yoruichi's signature move, shunko, disappeared. She glared one last time at Kisuke before turning and rushing into the man's office, appearing beside Toushiro and Naruto, concern in her eyes. She only knew which one was which now due to Naruto still looking half-asleep.

"Hey. Hey, Naruto, are you okay?" she asked, speaking as if she knew him, though she'd never met him before in her life.

As Toushiro looked up at the woman who'd been fighting with Kisuke over Naruto, he finally got a good look at her, his eyes bulging and one word coming to mind: _Hot!_

Naruto also got a good look at the woman speaking to him directly. He grinned his usual foxy grin, eyes slitting and making him look even more fox-like. "Ohayo!"

Shunsui chuckled at the boys' reactions. "Well, now I see you two will appreciate the fine delicacy that is women." He winked. "And trust me, there are some good ones to choose from, we're getting ourselves quite a selection nowadays."

Urahara, having followed Yoruichi after collecting himself and re-sheathing Benihime, grinned at Naruto and Toushiro. Behind him were the girls, looking anxious for news—and some gossip, of course.

"Well, I'm glad to know you're all right, Naruto." Yoruichi smiled kindly as she placed one hand atop his golden locks. "Don't ever do anything like that again, you hear me? Next time Kisuke bothers you, come straight to me and I'll set him straight." Her smile was still present, softening the previous hostile expression.

"Who is that?" Nanao whispered to Jyuushiro.

"Shihouin Yoruichi, captain of the 2nd Division," the man replied.

"Does she know Naruto?"

"I have no idea."

"And you must be Toushiro." Yoruichi turned her smile to the other boy. "Same goes for you. You've peaked their interest." She motioned Kisuke and Isshin. "And they're going to be bothering you forever, now. Trust me, I know. I can't get rid of them myself." She chuckled slightly.

"Uh—welcome. I mean thank you." Toushiro shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "For worrying. I mean caring." He cursed internally. "Thanks."

Naruto looked at his friend a bit oddly, wondering why he was stumbling over his words. He turned his gaze back to Yoruichi, still grinning like a loon. "So you fought for my sake? Aww... thanks, miss!" He winked at Toushiro then, smirking. "I knew I was irresistible!"

Shunsui and Kisuke laughed a little at the egotistical blond, shaking their heads.

Yoruichi laughed, too. "A cutie like you, sure thing. Any time." She kissed his forehead before ruffling his hair. "I'm sorry things seem to be going a little downhill for you since you got here, but I assure you, not all the captains are crazy like them." She motioned the four men in the room. "Some of us are normal."

"I hardly call you normal," Isshin huffed, crossing his arms. "Your fuse is so short that the second it's lit, you blow."

"Want to test that theory, Kurosaki-kun?" She turned to fake-smile at him, the man paling.

"Not particularly."

Naruto's smile turned a bit more dazed. _I must really have a soft forehead or something, cause women's lips just zone in on it like bees to honey... though it makes me wonder why Sakura-chan never did that._ He paused and gasped mentally, remembering Tsunade. _What's this?! I only attract older woman._ He raised an eyebrow. "Heh, I think I can learn to love this place," Naruto commented, eyes curving happily once more as he crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back slightly to rest his head like that. "I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow now, for some reason." He smiled directly at Yoruichi. "Thank you, for giving me a reason to stay here. If I didn't know there were actually some sane captains, I would have left here with Hitsu-teme and Momo-chan. Hn, maybe I would have left the teme." He chuckled and uncrossed his arms, playfully swatting at Toushiro's arm. "Isn't that right, teme?"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Urahara captured the room's attention, a dejected sort of tone to his voice. "What's this? You never kissed _me_, Yoruichi-love!" He sighed, the whine obvious to all those present. "And you've known me for so much longer, too. Always knew you were the one-night stand kind of gal. I just knew." Pouting, he leaned closer to the woman, pretending to pucker up. "Just one for the road, love?"

Yoruichi slapped Kisuke for the fourth time that day, not even replying to anything he'd said. She was just about ready to pull Mugoineko out again. _Damn stupid oldest friend_, she thought angrily.

"Hn," was all the other boy said, crossing his arms and looking away. He was too afraid to open his mouth and form actual sentences in case the sentences came out with the words in the wrong order.

"Well, now that we're all sure Naruto-kun is alive and well, I'd like an explanation." Jyuushiro crossed his arms. "What exactly happened out there?"

"Yes, Kisuke, what _did_ happen out there?" Yoruichi asked pleasantly, faking a smile. "Won't you explain it to your fellow captains and the lovely ladies by the door who have come to admire and respect you as a captain?"

"Should I take this as my cue to leave?" Isshin asked nervously.

"Oh no, Isshin, I want an explanation from you, too." She turned to glare at him and he cowered away.

"How come I got glared at?" he whined pathetically.

"Because you're the idiot," supplied Urahara. He grinned at Yoruichi. "Come now, love, there's nothing going on, I don't even know why you think I _have_ anything to explain."

"This nut is crazy," Naruto commented, scooting away and clinging to Toushiro.

"I heard that, Sunshine-kun! And you know 'nut' and 'crazy' practically mean the same thing so your sentence has no real meaning." Urahara beamed, jumping on the subject change.

"Don't," Yoruichi growled, getting right in Kisuke's face. "Not with me. I don't care when or where, you are explaining this to me." She practically hissed out her words. They had been friends for longer than she could remember, and she would be damned if he got out of this one without explaining anything. For all she knew, Naruto could've died and she, sort of, almost took part in it. "Come on, boys, I'll bring you to your next class. You've already missed an hour." She turned, heading for the door. Toushiro jumped to his feet, removing Naruto from his arm and rushing to follow. Nanao rushed after him as well, beckoning for Kiyone to come.

Jyuushiro just stared at Kisuke as Isshin went to his friend's side, whispering to him, inquiring as to what they would tell Yoruichi. Things had just gotten even more complicated for them.

00000

"Something's very wrong, Jyuu-chan, did you feel it?" Shunsui asked with a sigh, slumping down in his captain's chair once he and his friend were comfortable in the 8th Division office. "Kisuke's not telling us something, and I don't like that."

"Yes, I concur," Jyuushiro agreed, coughing harshly afterwards before clearing his throat and sitting down as well. "Toushiro was trying to get outside right before we felt that huge spiritual energy, and then, next thing we know, Naruto is unconscious." He frowned, thinking. "And do you believe what they said? About the draw? It seemed real at first, but then I didn't know whether or not it was a joke. Toushiro changed so quickly on the matter and even Naruto dropped it. Can you think of a reason why?"

Shunsui scratched at the stubble on his chin, thinking on it. "Well, that is odd. But wasn't Toushiro-kun talking with Kisuke right before? If he was... well, you know how shrewd that man can be sometimes, Jyuushiro. But to think those boys tied with two such noble captains? It's really hard to believe, I almost don't _want_ to believe." He sighed again, propping his elbows up on the desk and burying his face in his hands. "I don't understand the last part. Why did Naruto-kun faint? If he was the one to release that much spiritual energy... wouldn't he be dead by now? And what of Toushiro's comment? This has happened before, Jyuu-chan. I think Kisuke knows about that, too. Or else... why would he be interested in them?"

"Yoruichi's anger concerns me, too," the other captain said, agreeing. "She kept yelling at him that Naruto was a boy, a child, not some toy for him to experiment with. I think it _was_ Naruto who released that reiatsu, but that would put him on par with—Kenpachi." The thought made a chill run down his spine. "Kami-sama, he's only a kid. Kids shouldn't have that much power. And like you said, I'm almost too scared to think that Toushiro and Naruto tied with Isshin and Kisuke. Who would've fought who, do you think?"

Lifting his head up to look at his friend, Shunsui shrugged and smiled slightly. "I'm betting Kisuke would have taken Naruto-kun if he's that interested in the boy. But then again, can you imagine Isshin going up against Toushiro-kun?" He chuckled. "Now that would be an interesting match. A very interesting match." He folded his arms across the desk, leaning back a bit in his chair. "So, this thing with Yoruichi… Has she even met the two boys before? She _was_ rather overprotective. Almost like Kisuke had taken arms up against a beloved family member." He added the last part in to lighten up the conversation, a grin turning up the corners of his mouth a bit more. "Yoruichi's still that feisty girl I know and love." Another tease, another jibe directed at the beautiful woman. Shunsui, sadly, thought he was a lady killer.

"It's true. I don't think she did, based on how the two boys looked at her like they had no idea who she was. She just knows Kisuke, much like all of us, and she probably got worried. Hell, _I'm_ worried. Kisuke's never been one to really use his head. If he's interested in something, he'll go after it without stopping." Jyuushiro stood and started pacing. "At least if Yoruichi looks out for the two of them, we won't need to worry, but I won't deny I'm interested. I think we should try and spar with them as well. I want to measure their power."

"That sounds like a good idea, Jyuu-chan," replied Shunsui, liking the idea in general. "There's only one thing I want to request about that. What if we were to plan our next move? Plan out this spar of ours that's really going to be a test of skill? We should think things through before we just rush in... or else we'd be no better than Kisuke and Isshin, the idiots."

00000

Toushiro rolled onto his back as he lay in bed, the lights having been turned off hours before. He couldn't bring himself to fall asleep, though, the events of that day playing continuously through his mind. He was worried about Kisuke's interest in Naruto, and he didn't understand why the blond was so powerful. A part of his mind called it jealousy, but Toushiro himself didn't believe that. He was concerned about the blond, not jealous of him. He didn't want to lose Naruto, they'd become too close—as frightening as the thought was.

He shifted again, staring at his ceiling and trying to count the cracks in the dim light. It started hurting his eyes, so he just sighed and rolled back onto his side. He contemplated saying something, but was worried Naruto would be mad at being woken up. He figured whispering it would be safe, since Naruto was a pretty heavy sleeper.

"Naruto?" he asked cautiously in as low a voice as possible.

The blond shifted under the covers, poking his head out and yawning. As much as he had tried, he couldn't fall asleep either. He, however, had not expected Toushiro to still be awake. "What is it?" he asked, feigning grumpiness as he curled up further in the blankets and turned so he was facing the other boy. "Can't sleep or something?" He smirked, knowing Toushiro couldn't see it. "You shouldn't wake people up, teme."

Toushiro didn't comment on that, just staring through the darkness at Naruto. "I was just thinking about lunch," he whispered. "About what happened." He didn't really know how to start the topic, but he needed to talk about it. "Why does Urahara want you so much? Like, I know you have amazing reiatsu, but why are you more interesting than that Kenpachi captain they always talk about?"

Considering this himself, Naruto didn't know what to say. He really wasn't sure why Urahara found him so fascinating, but it was certainly creepy, to say the least. "Don't know. The way Urahara was talking, there's something wrong with me." Naruto shrugged, not knowing how to go about the current subject. "Maybe I wasn't supposed to die or something? Who knows. But I think that that Urahara fellow knows more than he's letting on. What do you think?" He shifted some more in his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. "I just... don't know anymore, Hitsu. Everything's so confusing here. Half the time, I don't even know what's going on, let alone why people act the way they do."

Toushiro kept his eyes on Naruto, noting the sad tone he'd used. He sighed, also turning to stare at his ceiling. "I think—maybe it has something to do with who you used to be. You know, before you died and came to Soul Society." It was the only thing Toushiro could think of. "You say you were a strong ninja when you were alive, right? Tell me about it, maybe it'll explain a few things."

"Well... I grew up in Konoha." He paused, thinking about how much he should tell the other boy. It was the first real time he felt he could tell someone all his thoughts and feelings without being judged. Sure, Toushiro was a lot like Sasuke in the bastard department, but then again... Toushiro actually listened to him, and tried to help him when he could.

"I was... despised there, throughout my childhood. No one would look at me; acknowledge me... nothing. Things didn't change until I decided to become a strong ninja, someone people would look at and actually _see_. The first person to ever... care about me, to acknowledge my existence... was Iruka-sensei. He was a great man. I really miss him, you know? And everyone, really. I started making a lot of new friends, meeting lots of new people after I became a ninja. It was... the best times of my life, fighting alongside my friends and everything. But... there was one thing I never told any of them. Only the ones who already knew or found out somehow knew this little fact about me."

He paused again, voice strained. He wondered what exactly Toushiro's reaction would be to his next bit of information.

The white-haired boy said nothing for a few minutes, thinking everything through in his head. Naruto's life sounded unjust, in his opinion. "Honestly, I find it hard to imagine anyone hating you." He would've cracked a joke, but this was a serious conversation. "Sure, you have your moments of idiocy, but I mean, we all do. You're actually not that bad of a person, and everyone here likes you. I just—can't picture people hating you." He frowned at the ceiling, not understanding. "But you said there was something else. What is it?"

Naruto turned his head completely away from Toushiro, wincing in remembrance. It seemed his past would always haunt him. "When I was just born, the 4th Hokage—the leader of our village—sealed away a... fox demon inside of me. Kyuubi, the nine-tailed fox. The reason he did that was to prevent it from destroying Konoha, since it was attacking our land relentlessly. I... don't think he meant for things turn out the way they did. People despised me for the deeds the demon inside of me had committed. It's as simple as that."

Sighing, Naruto rubbed at his face, trying to will the urge to cry away. He was not weak; he would not cry. "So, anyway, you know about my past now..." He chuckled to erase his gloomy thoughts. "What about you, Hitsu?" He moved his face back to look at Toushiro, watching the other boy with curious eyes. "Do you remember anything from your past life?"

"No," the other boy whispered. "Spending too much time here has made me forget." He felt bad for not being able to share anything with Naruto when the other had basically spilled his guts, but he was busy trying to put things together. "This demon fox, I'm sure he had a lot of reiatsu, am I right?" He turned to look at Naruto. "He was probably really powerful, and could probably do a lot of Kidou, right?"

"Actually, where I was from, we called the stuff 'Jutsus'. And instead of calling the force we worked with 'reiatsu,' we called it 'chakra.' But yeah, it was a really powerful demon. It almost _did _wipe out Konoha; if the Yondaime hadn't done what he had… You know, the weird part about all this is that I can't use a single jutsu, now. Maybe it's because I'm dead, I don't know. But... it's so strange not being able to use a Henge or make some clones. I've only been here for two days... I'm still adjusting." He smiled into the darkness of the room. "Although, so far, I really like it here. Despite having crazy captains after me and stuff. It kind reminds me of... everything I've lost. Kindness, warmth... that's all I've received here. And... I don't know. I think it's a nice start for an afterlife."

Toushiro smiled slightly. "Those are weird names for things. I guess it would make sense, though, that you can't use your old type of Kidou—or Jutsus, I guess you call them. But I think it makes more sense, now. That demon fox must be the reason why you have such a large amount of reiatsu, but then again, I would think that the two of you would be separated at death, and there'd be you _and _the giant fox right now." He frowned. "It doesn't make sense."

Naruto sighed. "Yeah, see, here's the thing: the reason I died in the first place... was because the demon fox was extracted from me. We were so tightly interconnected by a seal that when it was taken from me, I died. That's when I ended up here, I suppose. Still... the whole large amount of reiatsu just doesn't make sense. Plus, I feel, for once, that all this power... it's mine."

Toushiro was silent for a few minutes as he thought about it, rolling everything over in his mind before coming to a conclusion.

"Do you think—maybe, that your chakra stuff is more powerful than Soul Society's reaitsu? It could be the reason why your reiatsu is so abnormally large. You had all this chakra with you when you were alive, and when you died and came here, it all turned into reiatsu. The only thing that's confusing is the fact that you're the only person to date with all this power. I'm sure there were a lot of people in your village, but for some reason, your soul is the only one that found its way to Soul Society—almost as if someone brought you here on purpose."

Naruto, worrying his bottom lip, mused over what Toushiro was saying. It would explain a lot, that was for sure. But there were so many things left unexplained. Was it Urahara who had done it? Or had it been someone else? "Ugh, this is making my head hurt just thinking about it all. And we have class tomorrow, you know. Maybe we should just try and get some sleep." He chanced saying something else, though. "I hope... you don't think I'm... well, you know... some horrible person because of..." He sighed. "Because of the Kyuubi. I wouldn't blame you if you were wary of me, now."

"Naruto, seriously, what do I care about what happened in your previous life?" Toushiro turned to offer him a smile. "The bad souls go to hell, the good ones come to Soul Society. So far, as annoying and idiotic as you are, you're a good ... friend." He couldn't believe he'd admitted that, but he rushed on before Naruto could pay too much attention to it. "I'm not going to judge you for something that was beyond your control, don't worry." He rolled onto his back again, and stretched. "But you're right, we should sleep. See you in the morning, dumbass."

The boy closed his eyes, feeling much better about the turn of events.

Naruto himself just smiled, happy that Toushiro considered him a friend. He would never forget those words, even if the other had hurried to change that particular line of conversation.

Authors' Notes:

_Sarge – Yatta! Another chapter! Oh, I was so manly in this one, don't you think, Kisuke-san? (strikes a pose)_

_Avril – (shakes head) Oh yes, manly indeed. Psh, at least I was wonderful as usual. (preens)_

_Sarge – (insulted) I was TOO manly! At least I didn't get attacked by a pissed off cat-lady, unlike YOU! You couldn't even hold your own for five seconds against Yoruichi!_

_Avril – (sniff) At least I FOUGHT her, you would have just cowered in fear. And too manly you say? (snort) Don't make me laugh. I'm the one who has the balls to stand up to a very pissed off woman with claws._

_Sarge – I just don't like fighting women! I was a married man, once, you know! Real men don't hurt women. You harass Yoruichi too much, and you deserve all the pain she gives you! _

_Avril – Haha ... Oh dear, see, you've gone and made me laugh (smirk) You, a real man? That has to be the most funniest thing in the world. Masaki probably walked all over you. A real man TAKES CHARGE of the situation. Unlike you, Mr. Cower in fear with my tail between my legs._

_Sarge – (twitch) At least I HAD a wife! (pwned)_

_Avril – Ah... touche (ponders on love life) You know what? I think Masaki just married you out of pity. She DID look my way, once upon a time._

_Sarge – (stutters) You… you… you LIE! (runs off crying) _

_Avril – (insert shunpo here) Isshin, Isshin, Isshin. Suck it up. You KNOW I'm sexy. It's just the facts of life. (snaps open fan and leans against nearby wall smugly)_

_Sarge – (stares) I'm SO killing you in your sleep._

_**Characters List:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Urahara, Shunsui, Kiyone, Soifon_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Isshin, Jyuushiro, Nanao, Yoruichi_


	7. Calm Before the Storm

Chapter Seven – The Calm Before the Storm.

Squaring his feet, Naruto narrowed his eyes, intent. He stared directly at the target with hands outstretched in anticipation. He breathed in; his concentration was set on what Toushiro had taught him in their few short months at the Academy—after they'd made that helpful deal, of course. "Bone of a straggling beast, spire, crimson crystal, disc of steel, when the wind shifts, and the emptiness ceases, let the clash of lances resonate through the relinquished castle!" There was a crackle in the air, and suddenly a wave of thunder shot out at the target a mere five meters away. _It's a start_, Naruto thought, grinning. _It sure as hell is a start._

"Good job. You beat your old quota from last month, which was four feet." Toushiro patted Naruto's shoulder. "You're improving." He moved into position himself, rolling his shoulders before dropping into the preferred stance for his Kidou spells. He recited the exact same incantation as Naruto had previously. Lightning shot out of his own palm, flying ten meters before slamming into a target. He cursed to himself, narrowing his eyes.

Ever since a few weeks ago, he had hit the ten meter target and hadn't been able to exceed it. It was annoying him to no end.

Shaking his head with a bemused grin—Toushiro was so strange sometimes, not to mention competitive when it came down to it—Naruto turned back to his target, considering it for a second. "So, five feet in three months is good? Ugh, at this rate I'll never catch up to you, Mr. Ten Meters on the Dot." He fired off another wave of lightning and turned to face the white haired boy completely. "I thought for sure you would have made it past the ten meter mark, though ... Something on your mind, Hitsu-teme?"

Toushiro shrugged, getting back into position. "Maybe. I don't know." He fired again, hitting the ten meter mark once again. "I guess I'm just a little concerned, is all. I mean, even though all this time has passed and Urahara-taichou hasn't tried anything, he's still not really leaving you alone. I mean—I don't know. Maybe I'm just being paranoid." He sighed.

"Hey guys." Nanao appeared beside Toushiro, making the poor boy scream and jump a mile high. "Charming. How are you and your captain friends doing? Are you seeing them today?"

"How is that any of your business?" Toushiro muttered, moving out of the way for Naruto to fire.

"I was just curious, is all."

Naruto took his turn, ignoring the new arrival. _What is with that girl? Is she only interested in getting ahead or what? _Shaking his head, he concentrated on the task at hand, firing off his lightning quickly and then moving out of the way for Toushiro's next shot. "Ohayo, Nanao-chan," the blond stated blankly, not really caring to have a full-blown conversation, but Toushiro having engrained at least a _little_ respect into him so that he couldn't just brush the girl off like he was itching to do. "Where's your friend?" He looked over her shoulder, trying to see if that blond Kiyone girl was with Nanao as well. At least _she_ had seemed a bit less annoying than her friend here.

"I don't know; she's somewhere." Nanao waved her hand about, watching Toushiro get into place as she examined how far Naruto had shot. She snorted. "Five meters? That's it? Pathetic. Everyone's around seven or eight." She rolled her eyes at Naruto. "The two of you really _are_ good for nothing. Why captains have _any_ interest in you, I'll never—"

Toushiro cut her off as he shot lightning out angrily after having muttered the incantation, the lightning shooting past the ten meter mark and slamming into the eleven meter target. He turned to Nanao, smirking. The girl just stared before scoffing.

"Fine, so maybe _one _of you is good for something. Him, on the other hand," she motioned Naruto, "he's not good at _anything_."

"Actually, I'll have you know, he's amazing at Hakudo," Toushiro snapped.

"Oh, oh!" Naruto turned to Toushiro entreatingly. "I know something we can show her I'm good at! Remember when we were talking about the difference between Hadou and Bakudou? Do you, do you?" He smirked. "Let's say we show her something she hasn't even _learned_ yet."

"But Naruto, that's mean," Toushiro insisted. "Let's do it," he said barely a second later. "Which one? You choose. I'll supervise. If you blow her up, I'll be your alibi."

"Wh-what?" Nanao demanded. "What are you talking about?" She crossed her arms, not particularly concerned, since this was _Naruto_. "I bet I know what you're thinking of using. Why wouldn't I? Yumichika-sensei favors me."

"Disintegrate, black dog of Rondaniini. Look upon your burning soul and sever your throat. Bakudou # 9, Conquer!" Naruto held out both hands as he finished reciting the tiresome incantation. A red light suddenly surrounded Nanao's whole body, restricting her movements. "Got'cha, Naaaaano." The smug smile just added insult to injury. "I'm not completely worthless. Toushiro taught me how to capture and restrain my opponent, but he found I had a harder time mastering things that required power since I can never get it just right." _Much like my former life_, he noted grimly, thinking of the demon fox he had once housed. He shivered, glad it was gone. Smile lighting back up on his face, he looked at Toushiro eagerly. "So, how's that?"

"Good job." He patted Naruto's shoulder once more. "I have taught you well, my friend." He laughed slightly. "Next, shunpo! We'll pass our final exam for this academy with flying colors!"

"Hey! What the—" Nanao struggled to move. "How the hell did you do this? _What did you do_?" she shrieked, terrified. "Yumichika-sensei!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down!" Toushiro insisted. "Calm do—"

"Yumichika-sensei!" she shrieked again.

"Great... we're in trouble now." Toushiro sighed.

Even with Toushiro's statement that they were in trouble, Naruto's smug smile would not be crushed; would not waver. He was riding the high that was kicking a suck-up's ass.

"And just _what _do you think you are doing?"

And that brought his high crashing back down to the harsh reality that was Soul Society. "Uh, she asked for a demonstration?" Naruto supplied readily with no real conviction. He knew they were in trouble now. Freaky brows wasn't one to go easy on them, and most certainly was not to be taken lightly, as they had repeatedly discovered. _Damn._

Yumichika tapped his foot against the ground, waiting. "Well?" On the outside, he appeared to be the angry teacher—the role he was meant to play—but inside, he was rather shell-shocked that the new boy, Uzumaki, had mastered Bakudou so fast. It had been only... what, three months? How had they improved so much in a short amount of time? It was unfathomable.

"Yumichika-sensei," Nanao whimpered, sniffing. "I'm—I can't move. Please, help me. I'm scared."

Toushiro rolled his eyes, knowing Nanao was milking this for all it was worth. She was maybe shocked, yes, but the look in her eyes held anger and awe; no fear. She just wanted to get them into trouble again, as if they _weren't_ already in _enough_ trouble. Heavens, no. They only had enough detentions to last them until they graduated—_if_ they graduated. This was so unfair; he was going to complain to someone about this. Probably Jyuushiro. That man had a knack for getting him and Naruto out of detentions. Well, he and Shunsui combined, but he imagined it was probably because Shunsui scared people into listening to Jyuushiro, what with the brown-haired man being drunk all the time. Toushiro wondered if all the captains could live so easy.

Yumichika patted Nanao on the head sadly. "It's all right, Nanao-chan. Here, I'll teach you how to go about removing Bakudou. And then you'll know something they don't even _teach_ in the textbooks." He glared pointedly at Toushiro, knowing that particular boy was the one to teach his blond friend in the Kidou department. "I expect you to only use the demon arts I _instruct_ you to use during class until you have proof that you are a fully instated Shinigami. Is that clear?"

Naruto sulked, crossing his arms and turning his head in the opposite direction. It really wasn't fair how Yumichika treated them. The detentions just kept piling up and the few that he and Toushiro had made it to had been horror filled, to say the least. The crazy things the detention teacher made them do, he shivered just thinking about some of it. Running laps around Seireitei (a feat in itself), doing push-ups with large rocks on their backs (as if they could withstand all that weight; he still had a horrible ache near the base of his spine), and even scrubbing toilets. Oh, and not just _any_ toilets. No, of course not. They had to be _captain_ toilets. Now _that_ was fun. Stop the joy; just stop it before it truly did kill him.

"Thanks, Yumichika-sensei." Nanao sniffed. "Some people really _should_ learn how to respect authority." She glared at Naruto and Toushiro.

"And some should learn how to not suck up." Toushiro hit Naruto across the back of the head for the comment before realizing it had left his own mouth. His eyes widened. "Oh my God! I've been corrupted! I no longer think before I speak!" He clutched his head. He was turning into Naruto!

Sighing, dishing out about five more detentions in the process, Yumichika walked over and bent down to whisper the counter-incantation into Nanao's ear.

Naruto chuckled beside his panicking friend. "Is turning into me really so bad?" He looked absolutely innocent as he asked that one question.

"Yes!" Toushiro hollered before sighing. "Man, this is terrible." His voice cracked as he said that. "I can't believe I'm turning into _you_."

"Um, Toushiro?" The boy looked up, Nanao still standing in front of them.

"Weren't you freed?"

"I was, but..." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Okay, listen, I _still_ hate you, don't ever think otherwise, all right?"

"Sure." Toushiro was quickly growing tired of this conversation.

"Good. Now, with that aside, that was impressive. I imagine you're the one who taught that blundering idiot how to do that."

"Why does everyone insist on insulting Naruto?" Toushiro demanded angrily. "Why can't I ever be unique? Insulting him is _my_ job."

Nanao blinked. "Uh huh." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, you seem to be a good instructor, and I heard you mention something about shunpo. Can you actually do it?" Toushiro nodded. "Really?" He nodded again. "Seriously?"

"Am I going to have to hit you?" Toushiro sighed. "_Yes_, I can do shunpo. Why?"

"Can you teach me?"

"No."

Nanao's head snapped back. "What do you mean no?"

"No, I won't teach you. Ask your precious Yumichika-sensei to teach you."

Eyes flaring angrily, Nanao took on the same position she had seconds before under the binding spell and fell over, Toushiro turning to Naruto, confused. The blond hadn't done it, and _he_ hadn't done it, so—his eyes widened. She was faking it!

"Yumichika-sensei!" She shrieked again.

Naruto could only blink as the teacher rushed back over and started yelling at them again, telling them he had been going easy on them the first time but doing it again was just plain ridiculous. Somehow, they ended up with ten detentions on top of the last five. He had lost track of their detentions by now, though. He figured they had over 500, maybe more. The thought was depressing in itself. "Uh, question," the blond started, holding up a hand.

"No! I _don't_ want to hear it!" Yumichika helped Nanao up again and escorted her off to the side. "Come on, Nanao-chan; let's go practice the counter method over here, away from these disgraceful hoodlums." He sniffed and continued to walk further away with the girl.

Even if he had known that last Bakudou was a fake, Naruto doubted Yumichika would have given them the benefit of the doubt. And so it was proven once again that there was an undercover conspiracy going on. Nanao's acting certainly needed some improvement, he noted, disgruntled as he turned to Toushiro. "What the hell is up with that bimbo?"

"She's jealous," Toushiro sighed. "And, I mean, who can blame her? We know five captains, and all five are in love with us in some way, shape or form." He rubbed the back of his head. "We should go see Jyuushiro and Shunsui at lunch. They'll help us get rid of some detentions." He paused. "Did I _really _just call them by their first names?" He groaned, covering his face with both hands. "God, I really _am_ turning into you."

00000

Pachi. The sound of a black stone connecting with the Go board could be heard in the near silent room, Shunsui's humming the only noise to disturb that silence. After his move to upper-left hand star, he pulled his hand back and rested his chin on it with a sigh. "Ah, isn't this fun, Jyuu-chan? It's been a long time since we had a nice game like this." He sat cross-legged on the floor instead of the usual formal posture that was required in front of a goban. Shunsui was the informal type, anyway. He never liked following the rules much.

"Mm." Jyuushiro inspected the board before moving one of his own pieces. "Though neither of us are here for mere pleasantries, and we both know it. Have you found out any new information regarding Toushiro-kun and Naruto-kun? Did Yoruichi tell you anything when you inquired about them?" He picked up the small cup of sake beside his right hand and sipped at it before putting it back down.

"Yoruichi knows about as much as we do from deducing our own answers. It would seem Urahara's keeping things on the hush hush. Damn that Kisuke. What's he playing at?" Shunsui connected his black stone against Jyuushiro's previous white and then sighed. "I heard they've been training together a lot, though. Not just with Isshin and Kisuke, but on their own, as well. They're progressing much faster than previously expected; Yoruichi informed me of this earlier today. That's why I called you here for a game. It would seem things are starting to get interesting. She believes they may not even need those full six years at the Academy, at this rate." Ignoring his own cup, Shunsui went straight for the liquor bottle itself and took a deep swallow. "I'm looking forward to the day that they enter the Shinigami ranks."

"Aa, I as well. I was thinking of making Toushiro my vice captain. Though I'm interested in Naruto, he seems a little too rebellious for my tastes. He should fit right in with you." He smirked at his friend. "Though we'll have to fight Kisuke and Isshin for them. Lord knows those two will do everything in their power to get them into their divisions. Yoruichi is interested, too. It'll be hard..." He trailed off, having captured four of Shunsui's pieces through an unforeseen move. "We should discuss the situation with Yamamoto-sensei, don't you think?"

"Yama-jii? Aww, come on! He'll just be a spoilsport." He swirled the bottle, a bit aggravated at the speed he was losing his territory. It was hard to win against his friend. The man was quick and it wouldn't be an easy win or an easy loss. Setting the sake back down, he scooped up another stone, positioning it between his forefinger and middle one before sliding the stone onto the board to try and rectify the situation he found himself in. "And what could that old man tell us that we don't already know?"

"Well, he could force Kisuke to inform the Gotei 13 on what he's found out about Naruto and Toushiro. And we might be able to convince him to help us get those two into our own divisions." Jyuushiro placed another piece on the board. "I won," he stated plainly as he took another sip of sake.

"You always win!" Shunsui hung his head for a moment, dwelling on his defeat. "Damn, now I'm stuck with your laundry for a week. How did you let me talk you into that bet, anyhow?" He rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. "But I suppose you're right about the Yama-jii thing. Informing him may very well be a good decision, but think about it. Do you really think Kisuke is going to allow authority to control him so easily?"

_Hm… I should remember to give him precise instructions or I'll end up with pink robes_, the white-haired captain mused as he stood. "It's true, but even Kisuke has common sense and knows when to follow orders. If he doesn't answer all the questions asked, he'll be demoted, or forbidden from going anywhere near Naruto and Toushiro. Then again, we may just cause those two more problems."

"Who are you talking about?"

Jyuushiro let out a startled cry, turning around to see Naruto and Toushiro standing in the entrance of Shunsui's office. Toushiro was leaning against the door, his arms crossed, back in the standard blue uniform since they'd gotten a new stock over a month ago.

Shunsui put a hand over his heart, face flushing slightly. "Oi, don't do that! Are you trying to give a man a heart attack here?"

Naruto smirked, walking into the office without a care in the world. "Well, you're captains, right? Shouldn't you, I don't know, be able to tell when you have company?" If he was rubbing off on Toushiro, he rather thought that Toushiro was rubbing off on him in certain ways.

"Of course we sensed you," Jyuushiro insisted. "We-we were pretending." Toushiro cocked an eyebrow. "Don't you dare say anything, Hitsugaya!"

"Wasn't going to." He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Look, um, Ukitake-taichou... we have a favor."

"A favor?" The man turned to look at Shunsui before turning back to the two boys. "What kind of favor?"

"Yumichika is out to get us. Seriously," Toushiro grumbled. "We don't do _anything _and he gives us ten thousand detentions."

"Exactly," Naruto said, nodding in agreement. "This guy doesn't like us one bit. He's already gotten himself a teacher's pet and ignores anyone else's progress beside that girl's specifically. It's insulting, is what it is."

"So, the favor?" Shunsui asked, calming down a bit and removing his hand from his chest. "I take it that it involves these detentions in some way?" He raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Don't tell me you want us to get rid of some of them." He grinned. "Because that would just be too easy. We like ourselves a challenge, don't we, Jyuu-chan?"

"Of course, but if they are in need of our help, who are we to deny them?" The white-haired captain went to Toushiro and hugged him tightly. The boy would have protested, but he couldn't, what with him asking for a favor and all.

"Um, thanks. We were just wondering if you could get rid of a few of them. And by a few, I mean, like, two-hundred of them."

"Two-hundred? Damn, what have you been doing?" Jyuushiro laughed as he released Toushiro. "Didn't we get rid of three hundred just two weeks ago?"

Shunsui guffawed loudly, clapping Naruto soundly on the back when the blond was near enough. He then proceeded to capture the boy in a headlock and mess up his short, spiky locks. "You two are more trouble than I've ever seen!" He laughed again and released the struggling Naruto from his grasp. "So, two-hundred? I think that can be arranged. So, you two busy? We were just having a friendly game of Go. How about a speed round over lunch? Me against Naruto-kun here, and Jyuu-chan can have Tou-chan there." He winked at the white-haired boy and then tugged Naruto down beside him as he sat back on the floor. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Naruto didn't have much choice but to take a seat or risk having those detentions stay permanently on his record. Not to mention Shunsui had unbalanced him enough to make him fall to the floor in an undignified heap. The blond righted himself and sat properly, trying to at least put an inch of space between him and the pink haori covered captain. It was a bit hard to accomplish, considering he was practically being squished to the man's side in a "you're-not-going-anywhere" type of hug. _I hate my life… well, after-life, that is._

"Yes, come." Jyuushiro proceeded to drag a defeated Toushiro towards the table when a voice interrupted his actions.

"I'm sorry, gents, but they're already got a lunch date with me." They all turned to the door, Yoruichi standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, one of them cocked out to the side. "How you doin', boys? Forget about our lunch date? And I was so looking forward to seeing you two."

"Yoruichi! How are you? Come in, join us." Jyuushiro continued to pull Toushiro down beside the table, the woman laughing, shaking her head so her purple locks lost their shape.

"Nice try, but you know I don't play Go with you guys. You always end up owing me favors you never go through with."

"Harsh, Yoruichi. Harsh." Jyuushiro sighed.

"Yoruichi! Ah, we were just talking about you a while ago." Shunsui smirked at the woman, looking her up and down with a gleam in his eyes. "Why don't you join us instead? I'd rather like a lunch date with you… they're much too young for you and probably wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much as I would." He motioned to the two boys who were being held down by Jyuushiro and himself respectively.

Naruto pleaded with the new arrival with his eyes. _Save us_, he thought, practically begging Yoruichi for some kind of escape lest they have to endure yet another round of pure insanity that usually involved Shunsui and Jyuushiro with their glomping capabilities. He nudged the man holding him painfully in the ribs, making the captain let go briefly and just long enough for him to stand and make his way over to Yoruichi's side. He gave a sigh of relief and hugged the woman rather informally around the middle. "Thank God you're here! I wouldn't want to miss our date!" His relieved smile turned playful.

Shunsui, meanwhile, was left to grope at nothing but air, dazed that the blond had left him so quickly. He sniffed, all alone. "Mou, no fair, Yoruichi! You can't have them _yet_. I wanted to at least beat Naruto-kun at Go. I'm sure I can win a round against _him_ of all people."

"Now, that's not nice to say about Naru-koi." She patted the blond's head with a smirk before motioning Toushiro. "Are you coming?"

"No, but I might." Toushiro's eyes widened at what he'd said. "I mean, I _will_. I mean, if—Jyuushiro is—That is to say…"

"I think he means he'll join you should I let him go." Jyuushiro chuckled slightly, letting the boy go.

Toushiro turned beet red, avoiding everyone's gazes. "Yeah, that," he whispered.

Yoruichi laughed, shaking her head as she removed Naruto from around her waist and walked over to Toushiro, holding out her hand with a kind smile. "Come on, Hitsugaya-kun. Let's go eat. You'll want something in your stomach before Isshin and Kisuke find you, because trust me, they _will_ find you."

"They always do." Toushiro sighed as he took her hand, embarrassed, and got to his feet.

"We'll take care of those detentions for you," Jyuushiro said reassuringly. "But you both owe us a game of Go."

Naruto groaned, shaking his head. "Go is so _boring_, though."

"Aha!" Shunsui exclaimed triumphantly. "That supports my theory that he can lose easily in a game of Go! He has no passion for the game! I've practically won by default!"

Naruto glowered at that, meeting the older man's challenge. "Oh yeah? You just wait, Shunsui-taichou. You're going to eat those words. I'll _make_ you eat them." The blond switched his gaze to Jyuushiro, a smile softening his expression. "Thanks, Jyuushiro-taichou, we appreciate everything you do for us." For once, he bowed without being told, showing his respect for the other captain._ At least this one doesn't have a clingy problem with me. _He snickered. _Yeah, he only has one with Hitsu-teme._

Shunsui waved to the departing group, grinning as he addressed his friend. "I'm looking forward to that Go match, Jyuu-chan. Aren't you?"

00000

"Honestly, I don't know _how_ you boys do it, but do you ever have a knack for attracting unwanted attention." Yoruichi chuckled as she slurped down some more ramen before sighing. "Ah, that was good." It was fairly obvious to all who knew Naruto why he liked Yoruichi. She was practically a female version of him, though unlike him, she had common sense, and she knew when to have manners.

Toushiro said nothing, staring down into his ramen with a blush still on his face. He was still beating himself up for the blunder in Shunsui's office. Naruto was _never_ going to let him live that one down.

"We're special like that," Naruto interjected, slurping down his own ramen without pause. "And damn right this stuff is good. You're a great chef!" Tilting his head slightly to see Toushiro, he frowned, noticing the blush for the first time. What was with him lately? Every time he was around Yoruichi he seemed to act all… different. "Oi, Hitsu-teme, your face is on fire. What's with that?" Naruto could be dense at all the wrong moments.

Toushiro's head snapped up in shock, eyes wide. "I'm fine. Just sick," he blurted out.

"Sick? That's dangerous in Soul Society." Yoruichi reached out with one hand, pressing it against Toushiro's forehead. "Kuchiki-taichou's wife got sick, and she died soon after, the poor thing. Nice woman that she was, it was so sad to hear of her passing."

The other's face became even more red as Yoruichi's hand traveled down along his face, trying to feel if he was hot or not. She got to his neck and frowned. "You don't feel very warm, but you are pretty red. You should try not to overexert yourself today, all right?" She smiled as she ruffled his hair. "Everyone already knows you're fantastic."

"Thank you, Yoruichi-san."

"Koneko-hime!" Naruto pouted, finally using her nickname to gain her immediate attention. "Hitsu-teme's not that damn fantastic! All right, maybe he is, but still! What about me?" He pushed the empty bowl of ramen away and crossed his arms on the table in an indignant sulk. "It just not fair that everyone assumes we're not equals. Don't I deserve a _little _credit." He was a bit tired of always being called the fool, the lay-about. He was just as good as Toushiro in many ways, why couldn't anyone _see_ that? He didn't know why it had struck a nerve with him, but it had. Maybe because he felt left out, inferior when compared to someone who knew Soul Society from years of experience instead of a few measly months. Shaking off the feeling, he looked at Yoruichi, cocking an eyebrow. "Is there something about me that just doesn't measure up or something? Do tell."

"Awww, is Naru-koi jealous?" Yoruichi teased, propping her elbows on the table so she could rest her chin on her laced-together fingers. "You both have good qualities, Naru-koi, you just tend to act like an idiot, so people perceive you as one. We all know you're actually very smart."

The woman sighed, closing her eyes. The nickname he'd given her, Koneko-hime, was cute and all, but she kind of wished he'd stop calling her that. It had been her fault, really. Kisuke had appeared out of nowhere one of the days Toushiro and Naruto were visiting, and he had grabbed her from behind, hugging her tightly. To escape, she'd done the only thing she could think of, which was using her special abilities to turn herself into a cat. The second Naruto had seen that, he'd started calling her "Koneko-hime". So now, she had Soifon calling her "Yoruichi-sama" despite how often she told her not to, then she had Kisuke calling her "Yoruichi-love" even though she hit him every time he did, and now Naruto was calling her "Koneko-hime", ignoring the fact that she'd started calling him "Naru-koi" to make him stop. There was just no winning for the heiress.

"I'm not jealous," denied Naruto at once, huffing and starting to push away from the table. "And I'm not _always_ an idiot." He looked over at Toushiro, hoping for a little support. "Right, Hitsu?" Before any replies could be made, a rather familiar face entered his line of sight, causing Naruto to blanch and fall backwards out of his chair. "The hell, Urahara?" He was still skittish around the man. "When'd you get here?"

Instead of answering Naruto, like a good person would do after invading someone's personal space, Kisuke turned to Yoruichi and grinned impishly. "Hey there, Yoruichi-love. I decided to crash your little one-on-one time with the kids. Isshin's following, of course, though I think he got lost somewhere along the way. You know how Kurosakiii-kun is," he said, drawling out his friend's name with his infamous smirk. "I came to borrow Whitey-chan from you. I'm in need of a good sparring partner, and—oh dear, I couldn't find one!" He gasped, putting a hand to his forehead dramatically. "Isn't that just horrible?"

"Nice try." Yoruichi rolled her eyes, looking at Toushiro to see what he'd say. He was surprisingly quiet.

The woman let out a shriek of alarm as something came tumbling into her office, soon realizing it was a person who'd landed flat on their face. "Ow."

"Isshin, can't you at least act a little more like a captain?" Yoruichi hollered to cover up the fact that her heart was pounding. "You're a disgrace!"

"That's not a very nice thing to say to someone who's just banged their head on your floor." He rubbed his forehead. "Hey, Sunshine-kun! Ready to spar?" He grinned as he got to his feet.

Yoruichi covered her face with her hands. _There's no way to save these boys from these two psychos._ She sighed.

Naruto closed his eyes, going by the old expression 'if you can't see them, they can't see you', and remained on the cold floor in a heap, not bothering to get up. "I don't wanna," he whined, much like a child who was about to throw a fit. "Can't we just have _one _day's peace without you two barraging in?"

Urahara cocked his head to the side, thinking. "Hmm... nope."

"Damn you."

"Been there, done that," Kisuke stated flippantly, waving his hand. He directed his gaze at the awfully silent Toushiro. "Something the matter, Whitey-chan? You're not shrieking in terror." He feigned a put-out look. "Don't tell me my sparring partner's not feeling well!"

"Huh?" Toushiro looked up, as if finally noticing Kisuke and Isshin were there. "A spar? Oh, of course!" He jumped to his feet, grabbing his sword. "Spar sounds great! Let's go!" He practically bolted for the door, rushing past Isshin. The Shinigami stared after him in shock before turning back to Kisuke and Yoruichi, shrugging.

"I'll go after him. Make sure you get my Sunshine-kun." Isshin turned, chasing after Toushiro.

"You know, he hasn't been feeling well lately," Yoruichi informed Kisuke, concerned. "He's been flushed and he didn't eat very much for lunch. I'm concerned. After what happened to Byakuya's wife—" She cut herself off, looking at Naruto. She didn't want to concern him.

"Oh yes, that was rather sad," Urahara began, picking off where Yoruichi left off. "She died shortly after coming down with that horrible fever. Poor thing. Didn't even last two months, even with medical treatment. I hope Whitey-chan hasn't caught something, that would be horrendous, wouldn't it, Yoruichi-love?" He blinked innocently at the scowl directed toward him. "What's with that face, love? I'm just telling the boy the facts!"

Naruto had gone incredibly pale by this point, mind whirling with the implications. _She barely lasted two months?_ He was more than a little panicked. "What were the symptoms?" he inquired quickly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Don't worry," Yoruichi insisted, taking his shoulders and smiling kindly. "He didn't have a fever when I checked him, so I'm sure he'll be fine. Urahara" she bit out the name, "is just exaggerating. Don't worry, if something happens, he'll let you know. Now, would you like some more ramen before you're carried off to your doom, no matter how hard I try to save you?"

Naruto was torn. On one hand, he wanted that ramen, but on the other... he wanted to go check on Toushiro and make sure he hadn't been tackled by Isshin in his current condition. Sighing, he shook his head, forgoing the ramen. "No thanks, Yoruichi-san... I'll just be going." He gently worked his way out of her hold and then took off after his friend as well, leaving Urahara alone in the 2nd Division office.

Rubbing at the back of his neck, Kisuke laughed awkwardly. "Uh, sorry about that, Yoruichi-love. And did you see how worried he was about his dear friend there? This can only bring good things, nothing to worry about. Toushiro's most likely not sick, anyway. And don't you think that with Naruto's current state of mind that there will be plenty of opportunities to get some blackmail on the two of them?" He winked and then ducked the blow aimed at his head. "You know you love me!" he called over his shoulder, darting for the door.

00000

Toushiro stretched as he stood in the secret cave Kisuke had created, Isshin watching him, completely baffled. The other looked _excited_ to be fighting Kisuke, when normally, he and Naruto ran for all they were worth. He wondered what was wrong with the boy. _Maybe he likes Yoruichi and is embarrassed_, he thought with a small laugh. It wouldn't be the first time a trainee had fallen in love with the quick-tongued woman. She _was_ quite a sight to behold.

"Hey, Whitey-chan, you doing okay?"

"Great. Where's Kisuke?" he asked, not pausing in his stretching. "If he takes too long, I'll fight you."

Isshin's head snapped back. "Now wait a second, what's gotten into you?" he asked, somewhat worried. Did women make people _this_ crazy?

"Hitsu!" Naruto cried, dropping off the ladder when he felt he was far enough down to make a decent jump. He rushed to the other boy immediately, crushing him in a hug. "Hitsu-teme, are you all right? You left so quickly! Are you okay, do you feel dizzy? Do you want to lay down and take a nap instead of sparring? Because it's okay if you want to, you know. It's no problem. I can entertain the captains while you try to feel better! That's what's important, you know... your health!" Naruto paused momentarily to catch his breath and then let Toushiro go. "But seriously, if you're not feeling well, then you should take it easy!" Somehow, he had completely ignored the Shinigami standing off to the side, watching them in bemusement. He turned to Isshin, then, and pointed his finger at his roommate. "Tell him to sit this one out, right now!"

"No." Urahara had arrived shortly after Naruto's appearance, standing beside the blond and hardly out of breath. "Whitey-chan can't just sit on the sidelines! He's _my_ sparring partner and I don't take kindly to people trying to steal him away."

"But... but...!"

"No buts about it. Now, should we get started?" Urahara asked with a smile.

Toushiro hadn't been able to get a word in, his mouth open the whole time as he _tried_, but was unsuccessful. _What the hell's gotten into him? Did the captains corrupt him with their stupidity?_ He scratched his head, confused. Grabbing the blond's shoulders, he took a deep breath—and then started shaking Naruto madly. "What in the name of Kami-sama did they do to you? Why are you acting so weird? You know I don't like touchy-feely people, so why are you hanging all over me? I left you alone with Kisuke for five minutes and you turn into a psycho!"

Isshin pried the two boys apart, laughing slightly. "Wow; that was quite violent, Whitey-chan. Be careful with him, he might break, you know."

00000

Kisuke lifted his drink, downing the hard liquor in one gulp before slamming the cup back down onto the counter and ordering another round from the bartender. "Another round of draws, Isshin, another round of draws! Can you believe it?" Instead of sounding dejected, like most people would in this type of situation, the man sounded more thrilled than anything. "They never win, they never lose, but they sure as hell can tie with us!" He laughed and swallowed the refilled sake in his cup. "This is great. Don't you think?" He glanced at his friend, grinning from ear to ear, face flushed and content in the rowdy bar that they frequented from time to time.

"Yeah, it's pretty incredible." Isshin smiled slightly, twirling his cup in his hand. "I used full power today… well, you know what I mean. Naruto tied with me without even using anything other than his sword. His swordsmanship has improved tremendously since we last fought." He drank what was in his cup before holding it out to also get another round. "Those two... they're gonna go really far. Might even replace you and me someday." He chuckled slightly. "Or maybe just me. Yoruichi keeps reminding me I'm not captain material. Can't even beat some kid." He downed his drink once more.

Urahara waved his friend off. "Ah, you know how Yoruichi is, one little fault and she'll stretch it to the extreme. But you're right." He smirked. "It would just be you they replaced. I'm rather content to just stay where I am. But... I wouldn't mind running away with Yoruichi if she begged me." He waggled his eyebrows before laughing and finishing up his sake and requesting another round.

"You and Yoruichi have always seemed pretty close." Isshin smirked. "I wouldn't be surprised if you kidnapped her and forced her to wed you." Isshin laughed slightly. "Though, we are getting old. We should really settle down soon. I'm pushing seven hundred."

The other man just laughed and continued on about the young boys they had taken an interest in. "Toushiro's shunpo is really impressive, though. He's almost on par with me! If he were to go under the 2nd Division to merely hone that skill... I don't doubt he'd be up to Yoruichi's eventual standards in that field." He shook his head, still grinning. "These kids, they're really something. It's been a long time since I've seen such potential in young children. A really long time. But, Isshin, these kids are _incredible_!"

"They are," Isshin agreed. "It's almost scary, to be honest. Every time I fight Naruto, I feel like there's something different about him. He's too powerful for someone who hasn't been here that long. His body adjusted to the changes almost straight away. Did you know the day we met the two of them it was Naruto's _second_ day in Soul Society? Never before has anyone adapted that well!" He rolled his shoulders, feeling as if someone's gaze was burning into his back, but figured it was probably just Yoruichi or something, so he ignored it.

"Really?" Kisuke commented lightly, only mildly surprised. "That is a shocker, but what worries me is that he even _activated_ that sword. It was made to adjust to tremendous amounts of reiatsu... even when I used it in my younger days after just inventing it, I couldn't get the thing to activate. How can one boy, so young as he is, be able to force that much spiritual pressure through a blade without even realizing it? He's right up there with Kenpachi, and that's just his _starting_ strength. Can you imagine what he's going to be like when he gets _older_, Isshin? Can you?" He shivered and took a small sip of sake. "It's rather scary actually, but fascinating all the same."

"Yeah, that kid's gonna go far. And Toushiro, too, though he may not be as powerful. That kid can sure handle a blade, and having mastered so many things, like Kidou and shunpo and such—he'll be right at home in the captain's rank. I estimate three years in the academy for those two instead of the usual six." He turned to look at Kisuke. "What do you think?"

"Mhm." Urahara nodded, downing the rest of his glass and slumping a bit against the counter. He felt eyes on him and turned to investigate, his vision a bit blurred from all the alcohol. All he saw was a shadow in the corner that he couldn't quite make out. Leaning over toward his friend, he whispered, "Is it just me, or are we being watched?" He nodded in the vague direction of the bar's dark, foreboding corner, not chancing another look himself lest he bring attention to the fact the person spying had been discovered. "It doesn't feel hostile, but neither does it feel too welcoming, either. What do you make of it?"

"I thought it was just Yoruichi or something." Isshin said, not turning, as he sipped his drink again. "It seems someone is interested in our interests. I've been sensing people present every time we discuss Naruto and Toushiro." He looked toward his friend. "Thankfully, the bar is too loud and noisy for this person to hear us, but I suspect our two little trainees are going to be in trouble. Perhaps we should stop talking about them for a while, maybe even let them be until we feel it's safe to interact with them again. Though this person doesn't feel hostile towards us, we don't know what might be planned for our little friends."

"Hn, I noticed that, too. I didn't think it was too big a deal either, but this keeps occurring whenever we meet to discuss matters like this. Maybe you're right." Urahara looked down into his empty cup, sighing. "Though temptation always leads to disaster, my friend; it always does. These kids are the temptation... I wonder, now, what that disaster might be."

Authors' Notes:

_Avril – (looks around and then grins at the audience) Naruto here, it looks like it's finally my turn to thank you all for reading this chapter! Jeez, was it just me, or did anyone else notice how Hitsu-teme's an attention hog? Though I still love him! (glomps Hitsu) It's not your fault you're wonderful… well, actually, it is. But… not going there _

_Sarge – (is annoyed) Remove yourself from me or I'll hurt you. A lot. And I am NOT an attention hog. I try and teach you things, you just learn them too slowly._

_Avril – (insulted) Well, fine BE that way. (sulks and moves away) And I DO NOT learn things slowly, you're just not a very good teacher. (sticks out tongue) That whole Nanao thing? Tch, it was a FLUKE. Bastard._

_Sarge – Uh huh. You know, dumbass, you really need to broaden your vocabulary. I mean, all you ever call me is "bastard". At least I deviate between dumbass, idiot, stupidhead, moron, and so on. At least show some variety or something, it's getting old and boring._

_Avril – (sniff) Oh, you want some variety? I don't think you can HANDLE what I'd call you. You'd probably cry home to Momo or something. You're SUCH A BABY. As proven by your short, short height. Am I right?_

_Sarge – (blinks) I'm half and inch shorter than you. And you're just coming up with excuses now. First you insist I hog attention—which I don't—THEN you insist you have a wide range of vocabulary when it comes to insults—which you don't—and now you're calling me short when you're just BARELY taller than me? You need help, Naruto. Lots of it. I think Isshin's bonked you on the head one too many times. _

_Avril – (cries) Mou, so mean! And he has not. If I remember correctly, you were the one faking sick to get me all worked up! Asshole! At least I don't PRETEND! What the hell is up with you and Koneko-hime, anyway? You always act so man weird around her. She's the only SANE captain we know, and you can't even TALK to the woman?_

_Sarge – (blushes) (coughs) I seem to recall something about me crying home to Momo, not you. And I didn't pretend to be sick, I was flushed, and you got the wrong idea. It's not my fault you're an idiot. As for Yoruichi-san… (coughs and blushes more) She IS the only sane captain we know. What's your point?_

_Avril – (gives Hitsu an odd look) Man, what's got your panties in a bunch? (blinks) Have Isshin and Urahara been doing odd things to you again? And… just what are you getting at? Is MOMO your best friend, huh? And I mentioned nothing about you CRYING, I just meant you made me feel bad since I actually thought you were sick. It's not my fault you're a dick and couldn't tell someone you weren't running a fever because said person isn't going to run is hands all over you like Koneko-hime did._

_Sarge – (shoves hands in pockets and starts wandering off) Hn. _

_Avril – WAIT, HITSU-TEME, YOU FORGOT ME!! (chases after the bastard)_

_**Characters List:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Urahara, Shunsui, Yumichika_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Isshin, Jyuushiro, Nanao, Yoruichi_


	8. A Turn for the Worst

Chapter Eight – A Turn for the Worst.

Toushiro groaned as he rolled over, frowning slightly. What had happened last night? He remembered having dinner with Kisuke and Isshin, but how he'd gotten home eluded him. He didn't have a hangover, so he hadn't been tricked into drinking... _They must've slipped me something—but what for?_ Groaning again, he rolled onto his back, frowning as he felt something on his chest. He usually slept in only his boxers… Slowly opening his eyes, they then shot open as he sat bolt-upright, looking around their room.

"Not again!" he hollered angrily as he jumped out of bed. He looked down at himself, cursing as he noted the pink one-piece pajamas. Their room looked even worse than the last time. "Those damn captains, I'll kill them!" he screamed, furious, stomping across the room to Naruto. He noted the blond was in a similar outfit, though his had a hood to go with it, which had a set of fox ears on top to compliment the attire. "Wake up! Dumbass, get up!" He shook the boy roughly.

As he did, something struck him, and his eyes widened in horror. "Oh God! What if they did something to our unconscious bodies?!" he shrieked, horrified.

At Toushiro's shriek, Naruto was brought harshly back to the waking reality, groaning. "What the hell is your problem?" He blinked a few times before the horror of their room finally sunk in. "Hell no. Please tell me I'm still dreaming." He rubbed furiously at his eyes, hoping it was some kind of messed up illusion. "Too much... pink. Gah!" He suddenly realized his pajamas were a bit too snug. Terrified what that might mean, he risked a glance down and screamed bloody mercy, raising a hand to tug at the hoodie over his blond hair. "What the fucking hell?! Nooooo!" He scrambled out of the covers and tripped over something, landing sprawled out on the floor with the covers wrapped around him haphazardly. "I'm going to die of mortification if anyone sees this! We-we have to do something, Hitsu-teme! _Let's report the perverted captains to the proper authorities_! "

"Calm down!" Toushiro insisted as he unbuttoned the front of his pajamas, looking down. "Good, I still have my boxers." He pulled the pajamas off and wandered towards the closet in his boxers, opening it. Again, all he saw was the girl's uniform. He rubbed his chin. "I doubt there'll still be some, but we can try the shop downstairs. If there are no uniforms left, we can head back to the main office like last time. Hopefully, Tousen-san will be the one working again, and we can explain what happened." He turned to Naruto. "Let's go. And you better be wearing better underwear this time."

Naruto flushed, remembering last time. "I'll have you know I started wearing my other boxers since I'm now prepared for something like this. I'm not walking around in a damn frilly sheet again. That was fuckin' embarrassing!" Scowling, he tugged at the zipper that kept his cute little pajamas closed, _annoyed_ at the cuteness. It wasn't natural to put a grown boy in something this darn fluffy.

Halfway down, he paused, feeling a breeze in a non-breezy zone. "Uh, Hitsu, I think we have a problem." He went beet red and zipped up the pajamas faster than his shunpo skills were coming along. "This is the worst thing that could have happened... not to mention I'm feeling kinda violated." He sank onto the bed and pulled his hoodie up to hide his face from view, the scarlet color staining his cheeks a mockery to him.

"What now?" Toushiro sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "It can't be as bad as—" He cut himself off, realization dawning on him as his eyes widened. "They really _are_ pedophiles! Oh my God! I bet they did stuff to us while we were unconscious! I mean, how did I get into these boxers, anyway? These are blue, and I remember having my grey ones on yesterday! And now you don't even _have_ any on?!" Toushiro ran to their dresser, pulling it open. All he saw were pink, frilly girl's underwear. Naruto was trapped. Toushiro didn't even know what to do. He couldn't go to the main office by himself, Tousen probably wouldn't let him borrow two outfits.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to think. "Okay, the store downstairs _has_ to sell boxers. We'll have to go down there first and buy you some boxers. Then, we'll come back up here, you can change into those, and we can go to the main office. Agreed?"

Naruto stared, expression blank. "Are you telling me I have to go down to the school store in this?" He tugged at the fuzzy pjs pointedly. "Ain't happenin', my friend. Just ain't happenin'." No way in hell was he going to go walking outside in this outfit. But it would beat going stark naked. _Why did they single me out?_ There was a definite pout on his face now. "This isn't fair, Hitsu. What if they..." He shivered. "Ugh, they saw us _naked_ for crying out-loud!" He gasped, something coming to mind. "Oh my god, what if they got pictures?"

"Don't say that!" Toushiro shook Naruto madly by the shoulders. "_Don't_!" He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Okay, here's what I'll do. _I'll_ go down to see if they have boxers. If they do, I'll bring you back a pair. If not, then—you'll have to come to the main office with me... like _that_." He winced, feeling sorry for Naruto. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"All right." Naruto sniffed, curling up into a ball on his bed, miserable. "Don't get into any trouble because I don't wanna be stuck in this outfit for the rest of my life, got it?" He buried his head under a pillow, whimpering. "My life sucks." He heard the door shut, knowing Toushiro had finally left but not bothering to move. He was planning his revenge.

00000

Sighing, Toushiro headed down the corridor again in his boxers, having people point and whisper. He ignored them as he headed down the stairs and out the door, getting to the shop in no time. As he walked towards the counter, he groaned internally as he noticed it was Yumichika, just like last time.

Stopping at the counter, he sighed. "I know it's pointless to ask you this, but would you happen to have any of the boy's uniforms? And if not, do you have any boxers left?"

Yumichika looked up from reading a glossy magazine, bored. "You're right, it is pointless. Someone bought them all again. How strange is that? Anyway, about the boxers... it seems we're mostly sold out of those, too. I doubt you'll like what we have in stock." He went back to reading his magazine, dismissing the boy with his casual disregard.

"Well, it's kind of an emergency." Toushiro forced himself to remain calm, not wanting to screw his friend over. "I'll take whatever you have, I've no other choice. Naruto has run into some—uh, difficulties." He coughed.

Interest peeked, Yumichika set aside his magazine and leaned across the counter. "Oh? Well, I suppose if you're _that_ desperate I'll tell you what we have. The only boxers we're not out of are the orange ones... and I'm talking a neon orange, here. They're ghastly."

Toushiro's eyes widened. "Orange? Gross! No way am I going to walk around with a guy wearing orange boxers, that's ridiculous! I may as well commit suicide right now, there's no way I'd go through that!"

Bristling, Yumichika replied, a particular bite to his tone. "Well, _excuse me_ if they're not _good_ enough for your highness. It's not like I asked for it to be the only thing in stock. They're not easy on the eyes, you know. Not at all. I think the trauma has been burned into my retinas. I pity you, gaki. I really do." An off-hand, detached smirk. "And don't mess with me. I have the power to make you have so many detentions you won't even know _when_ you'll see the light of day. How's that sound, buddy?"

Toushiro laughed nervously, bowing deeply. "I apologize greatly for what appears to have been a rude comment, Yumichika-sensei. I was just appalled at the idea of orange boxers, which, by the way, is in no way your fault. I will gladly accept a pair, if you would be so generous as to forgive me and allow me to have one." He swallowed hard, still bowing. Was he going to get his requested article of clothing?

Eyeing the boy to see if he was sincere, Yumichika nodded, seemingly appeased. "All right, fine. But I better not hear any more complaints." He stood up and made his way to the back to shift through some boxes, locating the new shipment of boxers that had just come in. He pulled out the bright orange clothing and walked back to the front of the shop, tossing the disgusting thing over the counter. "And that'll be 500 kan, please." The young man held out his hand, tapping his foot impatiently as he stood. "Cash only."

"Five-hundred—" Toushiro cut himself off, lest the man decide to take the boxers back. "What I meant to say was: that's a good price." He handed over the money, grumbling silently, and turned, walking out of the store with the orange boxers and heading back upstairs to his room with Naruto. Slamming into the room, he threw the boxers at the form on the bed. If Naruto was asleep, Toushiro was throwing him out the window, fox-pajamas and all. "You owe me five-hundred kan," he muttered. "Now hurry up or we'll be late."

Naruto lifted his head back up, eyes spotting the orange boxers and lighting up. "Hitsu, you shouldn't have!" he exclaimed happily, his distressed countenance gone in the wake of something orange. Oh, how he loved orange. "Beautiful!" He went starry-eyed, picked the article of clothing up reverently and then quickly proceeded to change—finished and ready to go in a flash. "Yay! Now let's go get our uniforms!" He bounced his way to the door.

"I can't believe you're _happy_ about the orange," Toushiro muttered as he opened the door, walking out with Naruto in tow. "So, if it's Tousen-san, we can just explain the situation and he should let us off. If not, we'll have to go to Jyuushiro-san and Shunsui-san for help. They always help us. We might be conned into another game of Go, but we'll have to bear it." He sighed as they walked towards the main office. "Have any devious ideas for Isshin and Kisuke?"

Naruto became even more excited as he bounced, orange boxers and all, right beside Toushiro. "Lots! I was thinking for starters we can trick them into going out with us for drinks, we get them drunk, slap a bakudou on them, and then do something really twisted to them." He paused dramatically. "And speaking of twisted, what would you say if we borrowed a little of Rangiku-chan's make-up?" A grin spread on his lips. "They'd never know what hit them. Though we'll have to wait until things calm down and they least expect revenge, or else they might see something like this coming. We want it to be our... little surprise."

"I love all aspects of that plan," Toushiro informed. "Except the part about Rangiku, unless _you're_ the one who gets the makeup. I _refuse_ to get suffocated again just because she keeps forgetting she's well-endowed." He shuddered. "I mean, our perverted captains would _love_ to be hugged by her, but for some reason, she saves that particular action for you and me. And Momo. And pretty much anyone who _doesn't_ want it." He sighed, climbing the stairs to the main office. "But your idea is good, and I'm all for it."

"Yay!" His grin became wider and he slung an arm around his friend's shoulders. "This is going to be fun. Pranks are my specialty." Naruto winked and the rest of the walk was made in companionable silence. They reached the main office in no time and entered with all due to haste to find, with relief, that Tousen _was_ on duty.

"Tousen-san, it's so good to see you again," Toushiro said sincerely as they reached the desk.

"Ah, Toushiro-kun, am I right?" the blind man asked, tilting his head slightly. "Is something the matter?"

"Well, actually." The boy rubbed the back of his head. "Remember all those months ago when we came in here and needed uniforms? We kind of need them again?"

"Again?" Tousen frowned. "I don't know; the last time, you had Ukitake-taichou's authorization. I know you and him are close, but I can't just go around handing out Shinigami robes to trainees."

"I know, it's unreasonable, and I'm sorry, but we're in a bit of a bind. Again, the store's out of men's uniforms and Naruto and I don't have anything else to wear. We'll sign a contract and everything, whatever you want. Please?" He clasped his hands together, begging, even though he knew the other couldn't see it.

With a sigh, Tousen shook his head. "Fine, but you're signing a contract, and I don't care what anyone says, if they find out about this, _you_ stole them, got it?"

"Yes sir." Toushiro smiled.

Naruto chuckled behind his friend, happily signing the contract Tousen handed them each in turn. "Thanks, Tousen-san! We owe you one!" He grabbed the uniform that was handed to him, not even bothering to dwell on how a blind man knew which size was which and how he could do things so fast with no sense of sight whatsoever. "Yes! This day is looking up, Hitsu, this day is certainly looking up."

"I agree." Toushiro headed outside with the robes in his arms. "We get back, we change, we grab our swords, and we are headed off to class." He checked the time. "Whoops, we better hurry. Wouldn't want Freaky-brows to give us another detention for being late." _Or for me being cheeky this morning_, he thought nervously. Naruto really_ was_ rubbing off on him.

00000

Dressed and ready to go, the two boys slung their swords over their backs—the hilts over opposite shoulders—and headed off for the first class of the day with smiles on their faces. They had once again foiled Isshin and Kisuke's grand scheme to get them into the girl's uniform, and it most certainly wasn't happening any time soon.

"Ukitake-taichou, Ukitake-taichou!" A loud, gruff voice could be heard shouting a short distance away, and the pair of boys turned as one to see what was going on. The man doing the shouting spotted them and sighed, running over. "Oh great, so I'm not the only person who was sent out to look for Ukitake-taichou!" He laughed, though it was anything but carefree. "Great, great. So, I suppose you two have heard the news, eh? It's horrible, that swarm of hollows hitting the North Pacific. Not normal, I tell you. Commander Yamamoto ordered all personnel from the 8th and 13th Divisions to head out and take care of the problem. But _first_ it would kind of help if we knew where our _captain_ was, you know."

"Uh, you have it all wrong," Toushiro insisted, waving his hands about in front of him. "We're trainees. We're sorry to hear about those problems, but we have to head to class, or else we'll get in trouble. You should try Kyoraku-taichou's office. Ukitake-taichou is often there drinking sake and paying Go with him."

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself!" The man went on as if he hadn't even heard Toushiro's response. "Kotsubaki Sentaro, 20th seat." He nodded his head to each boy respectfully. "What about you guys? Seated officers, too? Or merely rookies under Ukitake-taichou's command?"

Naruto gaped like a fish out of water. "Wait, you have it all wrong!"

"What?" asked Sentaro, clearly confused. "Are you under orders not to speak your rank or something?" His eyes widened with sudden understanding. "Oh, _I_ get it now. You guys must be _good_. Wow, and I'm only a 20th seat... feel kinda inferior now." Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and then straightened. "Let's go find taichou before things start getting worse. This is no time for a conversation or goofing around."

"W-wait!" Toushiro insisted, starting to panic. _We can't go to the real world to fight hollows! Why won't this guy listen?! We may be able to tie with captains, but, shit! They go easy on us! We're not **that **good!_ "You have it all wrong! We're _trainees_!" he shouted, trying to get through to the other man. He debated running away with Naruto. At least they'd be safe.

Clapping both of them on the shoulders, Sentaro came to a sudden decision. "You know what? Since you guys are so good, why don't you just head to the battlefield?" He nodded. "I'll keep looking since I won't be needed as much, but you guys will at least offer support to the troops already sent out. Good luck!" A portal appeared in front of him with two Hell Butterflies to lead the way. "And there's your ride!" He then proceeded to chuck them through the portal against their will and went off to look for his missing captain.

Naruto screamed into the pitch blackness, clawing at nothing but air as they were hurtled through the warp-like portal. The only thing bringing even a small comfort to his jumbled mind was the familiar little butterfly flapping its wings in front of him. _What have I gotten myself into **now**?_ he wondered, his voice going raw from all the screaming. He stopped and waited for the never-ending portal to end. If it _did_ that was, it being _never-ending _and all.

Toushiro screamed right alongside Naruto, seeing a bright light at the end of the tunnel. _I wonder if I'm dying... again_, he thought to himself as he landed quite clumsily on his feet, almost losing his balance but managing to catch himself at the last second. He grabbed onto Naruto, his head whipping around in a panic as he saw all the fighting Shinigami with the creatures Sentaro had called Hollows. They'd only just started learning about them, and the only thing he could really remember about them was that to kill them, one had to slice through their masks.

The boy's brain was going on overload. They didn't have Zanpakutos, only normal swords. Their reiatsu may have been higher than most, but in the real world, reaitsu was limited under Shinigami law. Naruto still didn't have a good handle on how to fight with a sword, and Toushiro wasn't confident in his abilities when facing creatures with more limbs than he was used to. Fighting with the captains, who they knew didn't want to hurt them, was much easier because they were aware of the fact that they were _safe_. With the Hollows, these beasts _wanted_ to kill them. Toushiro didn't know what to do. How did they get back? They couldn't ask to be sent back by anyone present, they were all busy. _Kami-sama, what do we **do**?_ His hold tightened on Naruto's arm as he felt himself shaking. They didn't know enough to be able to fight Hollows. They weren't ready.

"Ouch, Hitsu, let go," muttered Naruto in a quiet voice, afraid to attract any unwanted attention from the monsters the other robed Shinigami were handling. "What... what are we going to do? We—do you think we'd be any help?" He shifted his gaze to the ongoing fight, knowing that he'd never match up to those strange creatures in battle, not at his current level. "We only recently started at the Academy, it's not like we know how to kill them as gracefully as all that." He gestured to one Shinigami who had snuck up on a Hollow from behind and slashed right through its skull with the odd sword he was wielding. "Whoa." The battle was heating up, a cluster of those monsters ganging up and surrounding a gaggle of Shinigami in the middle of the battlefield. "Hey... hey! They're in trouble!"

He made sure to keep his tone as low as possible, but he couldn't help the hint of excitement that entered it. Even if he was frightened, there was a battle waiting to be had and that had sparked his instincts to fight, to_ win_. Though he wasn't in any rush to march straight back to an early grave. So he would wait patiently for Toushiro's opinion on everything, wait for the okay to rush in like a blind fool. And he would do it happily, too. He wasn't going to let much ruin his day... not when things were starting to look up. This was only a minor set back.

Toushiro stared at the group. They were trapped, and they looked worried. The boy glanced around them. Nobody was left free except for them. Nobody was coming as backup. Nobody would save them should they no longer be able to fight. Naruto and he were the only ones available. They were robed. They had swords, and trainees or not, they had tied with captains. As terrified as he was, if he was going to become a Shinigami, this was going to be his job eventually. He had to get used to it.

Gripping the hilt of his sword and swallowing hard, he un-sheathed it, holding it in both hands. "Naruto, they need our help. We may suck, but we have to do something." He turned to Naruto. "Let's go, but, there's one rule." He grabbed the front of Naruto's robes, yanking him closer and glaring at him. "Don't you _dare_ fucking die!" He let the blond go before turning and rushing towards the Hollows.

"The _same_ to you, buddy!" the blond shouted to his friend's retreating back, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Let's kick some ass, Hitsu!" He charged in after Toushiro, following the white haired boy's lead as they headed off into the battle. Those people needed help and he would be damned if he didn't give them a little. Or a lot. He unsheathed his blade, pulling it over and up so he held it firmly in his grasp. Tightening his hold, he paused, eyes going wide when a Hollow caught a whiff of him and roared. He blinked, taken aback by the strange thing running at him with such speed for its bulk. _What the hell **are** these things?_ Nonetheless, he readied his sword. This thing wanted to pick a fight? He'd be happy to oblige.

"Naruto!" Toushiro hollered, catching a Hollow's attention. It had just occurred to him he'd forgotten to tell the other boy the most crucial thing of all. "Aim for the head! _The head_!" he shouted, then screamed as he jumped over a tail that had been used to try and trip him.

Blocking a hand that seemed to be covered in scales, he jumped back a few steps to gain some distance before gripping his sword with both hands and charging, screaming as he did so. He dodged a blow, cutting at the unprotected underside of the Hollow's arm. It shrieked, the sound ringing painfully in the boy's ears. He thought he might go deaf.

With another cry, he used the beast's leg to jump up high, slashing at the mask before a large arm knocked him away, sending him crashing into a building. He fell to the ground, groaning as blood trickled from his brow. Looking up, he saw a deep gash in the mask, but it hadn't been deep enough, and now, the Hollow was pissed.

_Shit. I have to be quicker._ Toushiro got back to his feet.

00000

_The head_, Naruto thought, brow furrowing as he watched the hollow feint to the left and then switch up at the last second and attack from the right. He turned, blade crashing into bared fangs, and then kicked out. It only seemed to aggravate the monster as it backed up again and crouched low to the ground like some kind of deformed tiger. It pounced again, but this time, he was ready for it and dodged, flipping into the air and landing a bit awkwardly on its head. He brought the blade crashing down into its masked face, barely cracking it in two. _Damn!_ He cursed and put all his strength into it as the Hollow bucked underneath him, trying its best to kick him off.

Finally, with a horrible splintering sound, the mask broke and the creature roared one last time in pain. It toppled to the ground, Naruto jumping just in the nick of time lest he stay and let himself be trapped underneath the Hollow's monstrous body. He wiped the sweat from his brow, turning at the last second to avoid another blow from a whipped tail of another Hollow.

The things didn't even give him a chance to regain his breath nor ready his next attack, they just pounced mercilessly upon their victims, taking down as many as they could. He stopped a huge claw from sinking into his side with a quick movement of his blade and then kicked out with a foot to halt the incoming barrage from his other side. The attacks followed, one after another, never letting up. The gruesome things hardly allowed him a quick gasp of breath before he had to do it all over again, never getting a chance to spare a glance in his friend's direction. Just how many Hollows _were_ there?

00000

Toushiro let out another cry of rage as he slammed down hard with his sword, splitting one of the Hollow's masks and turning it into particles of dust—or, that's what it _looked_ like to him, anyway. He turned with his sword up, blocking another blow from a Hollow with a spiked tail and huge claws. It also had a long, slithering tongue with weird ooze on it. Toushiro wasn't interested in finding out what that ooze was.

As if reading his mind, the hollow spat at him, Toushiro screaming in pain as he was hit in the shoulder, his uniform melting away and the ooze—which he now realized was some sort of acid—biting into his flesh. He quickly swapped his sword from his right hand to his left, thankful that Kisuke had once forced him to fight with his left hand. His right hung uselessly at his side. He could move it, but it sent pain shooting down his spine, so he wouldn't unless he had to.

"You're not as tough as the other Shinigami." The Hollow smirked. _How_ it could talk without moving its mouth, Toushiro didn't know, nor did he particularly care.

The tail came at him and he slashed at it, slicing it clear off the Hollow's body. It shrieked, sending acid flying everywhere. Toushiro ducked, rolling under the Hollow to avoid the spray, and came up behind him. Using a side building, he pushed off the hard wall, his sword raised high, and landed on the Hollow's back. Flipping over his head, he poised his sword just right so it would slice through the Hollow's mask as he fell back to the ground. By the time he landed smoothly on his feet, the Hollow had disappeared into dust.

"Not good my ass," Toushiro panted. He was sweating, injured, short of breath and tired, but the battle didn't seem like it would be ending any time soon.

He didn't remain undetected for long as another Hollow appeared, ready to fight him. Toushiro could only raise his sword and hope for the best.

00000

Something scaly and slimy had snuck up on Naruto from behind. He could feel the thing practically breathing down his neck, the hair there raising in protest at the hot, muggy breath that ghosted against his skin. Spinning on his heel and cutting through a Hollow's mask in the process, he turned to face the new opponent, taking in the creature's body structure in slight disgust. _Ugh, it looks like some messed up product of a snake mating with a snail. _Not really caring to look at it for much longer, he lashed out, blade poised to take this one out as well. The Hollow moved easily to avoid his attack, a deep rumbling sound coming from within its body. Was it laughing? Glowering, Naruto planted his feet securely into the ground and waited a split second before pushing off, using his momentum to charge straight at the thing, and going for a head-on assault.

Another deep rumbling noise came from the Hollow and it once again dodged the thrust blade a mere moment before impact. How it was moving its body so quickly, Naruto had no idea. All he knew was that his tactic wasn't working and he needed to try another. The thing was obviously too slimy to hop onto so why did it keep retreating instead of attacking him? Didn't it have the advantage? His eyes widened as it suddenly raised itself up like a snake having lured its prey into a corner, ready to sink its teeth into the awaiting mouse petrified with fear. He shook off the frightened feeling coursing through his body, ignoring the sensation as he planned out a course of action.

Feinting to the right, he watched in slow motion as the Hollow lunged at his previous position, having used the little of what he knew of shunpo to dodge to the left in quick succession. If he had been a moment slower, he would have been snake food for sure.

"Kukuku," the thing spoke for the first time in Naruto's presence, causing the blond to stumble back in shock, something whipping at his back. He turned to see another Hollow had snuck up on him. "Let's play, little Shinigami," it hissed, drawing out each word. Naruto couldn't even _see_ a mouth, so he really didn't even know how _talking_ was possible. He shook himself out of his daze and dropped into his fighting stance. He'd have to defeat both of them before he could do anything else; so, with that resolution, he began the fight these two particular Hollows had sought out.

00000

Toushiro panted as he turned from having just killed a Hollow, looking for Naruto. He saw the two Hollows and his eyes widened fearfully when something suddenly whipped past his face. Only his quick reflexes allowed him to dodge the attack, but he still got a deep gash across his temple.

Turning, and cursing the second wound that would get blood in his eyes—the first one was still bleeding, as well—he focused on the Hollow that had appeared.

"Don't lose focus, Shinigami," it sneered.

Toushiro was caught. He didn't know what to do. He needed to kill this Hollow, but while he fought, Naruto was being trapped by two others. What if Naruto _died_? Toushiro's hands started shaking again at the thought, the blade in his left hand wavering unsteadily. What would he do if Naruto died? It was a horrifying thought, and he cursed that damn Shinigami from earlier for thrusting him and Naruto into battle like this. Dammit, if he had just _listened_, then the two of them would've been _fine_! They would have gotten more detentions, but an _after-lifetime_ of detentions was better than this!

The Hollow charged, causing Toushiro to snap out of his thoughts and focus on the fight. He blocked one large hand with his sword, the other hand coming around and knocking Toushiro into a wall. He cried out as he slammed into it, not even having time to hit the ground before the Hollow had him by the throat, the boy's sword clattering to the ground.

Toushiro growled angrily, his vision swimming and blood dripping down his face as the Hollow laughed. He didn't have much time before he lost consciousness and _died_ if he didn't get that hand away from around his neck.

He let out a piercing scream as he felt claws digging into his injured right shoulder, the pain blinding him and threatening to shut down his mind. He had to do something, but his brain was too muddled.

"Bone of a straggling beast," Toushiro ground out, positioning his hands, "spire, crimson crystal, disc of steel, when the wind shifts, and the emptiness ceases, let the clash of lances resonate through the relinquished castle. Hadou # 63, Raikouhou!"

Lightning shot out of his palm, sending the Hollow flying backwards and allowing Toushiro to hit the ground. He landed on his feet, one knee giving out and causing him to fall onto it. His hand reached for his sword as the other clutched his throat. "Let's finish this," he bit out angrily, lifting his sword and standing.

00000

Naruto took a blow to the stomach, gasping. The snake-thing had hit him square in the gut with its tail, whipping him back a few feet. He scrambled back to his feet, grip never wavering on the sword. "That all you got?" he called out tauntingly to the one in front of him, jumping to the side and avoiding the next strike it had made with its tail. From behind, he felt a change in the air, signaling to him that the second Hollow had lunged at him just as that last attack had gone through and been blocked. It had been a feint. His own tactic used against him. Swerving on the spot, not without shunpo aided movements, he caught the large whip of a tail with his blade, gritting his teeth as it lashed out just enough to smack him in the face. He had been cut right below his eye, thankfully, the blood trailing down his face and away from his line of sight.

Growling, he put some distance between himself and the Hollows, awaiting their next combined attack now that he knew what to look for. He tensed, suddenly and unexpectedly being thrown to the ground. Turning, his eyes locked with the dark, jaded ones of the second strange Hollow with the whip-like tail. It looked like some kind of inhuman frog. _Damn, they move faster than even Hitsu does with shunpo. _He picked himself up, standing on shaky legs and narrowing his eyes. He pointed his sword forward, directly at the second one that was causing him the most problems and rushed toward it. He spun on the spot, anticipating the Hollow's dodge to the right and following, not letting it get away. Of course, chasing after just that one Hollow left him open to the snake one. And, this being the perfect opportunity it had been looking for, it made its move, slithering forward and raising up on its scaly belly to sway in front of Naruto once more. The blond stopped, not looking at that hypnotic gaze that the snake possessed, and glaring fiercely instead at the second Hollow that seemed to be mocking him, letting him know he had fallen for the most obvious trap. _Yeah, like the son of bitch could pull this off without that stupid fucking snake._

"Look at me, Shinigami," the thing ordered, Naruto continuing to ignore it just fine as he inched closer to the other Hollow. It struck out, then, annoyed at the disobedience. A fang sank itself into his shoulder and he cried out, pain stemming from the newly formed wound. _Snakes... have... poison... right?_ He winced, one hand instinctively going to the puncture mark as the snake pulled away and smugly hovered above its prey. It was almost too easy for the Hollow, Naruto thought in contempt, forcibly retracting his hand from the wound. He wiped the blood on his black robes, steadying his sword in both hands.

"What is it you want, you damn bastard?" he shouted at the snake-like creature, voice hoarse. "Stop playing around!"

"Oh... stop playing around?" It seemed amused. With one final move it moved ever closer and bit into Naruto's stomach from both sides. The blond screamed in agony at the two extra wounds he had been given to add to the rest, collapsing to his knees while his sword dug into the soft ground below. "This is getting boring, let's go try someone else," the Hollow mentioned off-handedly, tired of playing with the slowly dying Shinigami before him—or that's what the thing believed, at least. "I want something with a bit more spunk, more thrill. A soul isn't worth eating unless it puts up a decent fight." The second Hollow that had teamed up with the snake one bobbed its head up and down in agreement, clearly going along with whatever its superior told it to do. "Well," it hissed, "why aren't you moving?" Both of them then left Naruto, the blond panting and trying to keep it together as he took a brief rest on the ground. _This day... what happened to it?_ He noticed with another anguished cry that the monstrous things were headed toward Toushiro, and there was nothing he could do.

00000

Toushiro panted, blood drenching the right sleeve of his robes and more caking on his forehead and cheeks. But, on a brighter note, the wounds had stopped bleeding and he'd killed the Hollow. At least things were looking up for him—for all of two seconds.

"Much better prey." He turned on the spot, looking up at a huge snake-like hollow covered with scales. Another hollow stood beside it, resembling a frog with a long tongue and a huge tail.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Toushiro looked around. There were barely any Hollows left, but a lot of the Shinigami had fallen. Only about six or seven of the original twenty-two he'd counted earlier were still standing. His eyes widened.

_Wait a second... where's... where..._ His eyes scanned the area hurriedly, looking at each of the remaining fighting Shinigami. None had blond hair. _Oh God... no way..._ He started shaking again. Naruto had such strong reiatsu, and he had fallen. Was he dead? What had happened?

A blow to his side from the frog-like Hollow forced him rather violently back to reality, causing him to crash into a car. The alarm went off as he went flying through the windshield, groaning in pain as glass bit into him. He could feel pieces in his injury on his shoulder, but he couldn't think about that right now. By defeating these Hollows, it would mean he could get Naruto help as soon as possible.

With that in mind, he struggled back to his feet, sliding off the hood and back onto the ground, holding his sword tightly in his left hand.

"Oh ho, haven't had enough?" The snake Hollow shifted, moving to strike, its mouth wide and teeth bared. Toushiro used shunpo, getting away quickly. His eyes widened as the frog-like Hollow appeared right before him. He hadn't noticed him. As that second Hollow swung its large, whip-like tail at him, he used shunpo to escape once again. He felt like he was playing some form of tag with the two attackers. Each time he escaped from one of them, the other appeared right in front of him, forcing him to move away again.

He finally got the upper hand as he shunpo'd behind a large truck, reappearing once again behind the snake Hollow and slashing at its tail. With a loud shriek, Toushiro thought he had it, but was thrown backwards unexpectedly as wings burst from the Hollow's back, allowing it to fly up a few feet into the air, the Shinigami trainee sitting up and staring in awe. _It-it can **fly**?_

His hand clenched on the hilt of his sword as he looked around with his eyes, thinking ahead to his next move, just as if he were fighting someone as witty as Kisuke. _All right, the one in the air is obviously going to be able to read my movements. Even if I feign to one side, he'll be able to notice it's a feint. He'll alert his partner on the ground, and I'll be cornered. However, if I only focus on the Hollow on the ground, the one in the sky will swoop down after me, so I need to work this out fast. First, I get rid of the one on the ground using shunpo in quick succession, which is something the one flying won't be able to follow. Then, when he's out of the way, I'll be able to use Kidou on the one in the sky._

He nodded to himself as he stood, gripping his sword with both hands and ignoring the pain shooting up and down his spine from the wound in his shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, he used shunpo, changing positions fast so the Hollow flying above him wouldn't be able to follow his movements. He got behind the frog-Hollow, ran under him while slicing upwards at the thing's unprotected belly, and then jumped high, slashing across the white mask as soon as he got out from under him, turning the Hollow to dust.

He would've smiled in triumph had it not been for the snake Hollow appearing right where the frog one had just disappeared from. Being in the air from the jump, there was no way for Toushiro to avoid the attack. The Hollow lashed out with the end of its tail, the sharp tip slamming into the boy's chest.

Toushiro didn't even stay conscious long enough to realize he'd hit the ground.

00000

"Toushiro!" Watching the other boy plummet to the ground was the last straw, Naruto didn't even realize he'd called the boy by his given name for the first time, so focused was he on trying to pick his battered body off the ground. He stood, his shaky legs barely able to support him but doing it all the same. Each step he took closer to the body of his friend now laying sprawled on the road was painful, each small movement of muscle brought another wave of agony. He dutifully ignored it all, concentrating solely on his friend and his friend alone. The sword still gripped stead-fast in his hand dragged along the ground and finally hit the pavement that made up the road, telling that he had finally reached his destination. Shifting his arms, he brought the sword back up into a ready stance, his gaze locked on the now winged snake as he stood protectively beside his fallen companion.

"Damn you!" he screamed to the heavens. "Damn you and your friends!" He had been watching the battle from his previous position, so he knew the other Hollow had been taken out by Toushiro, and the rest of the Hollows were being tended to by the rest of the Shinigami. All he had to worry about was this one. This single Hollow that had brought so much pain in such a short amount of time. Frustrated, knowing his sword was useless against something flying in the air, he threw the blade away from his body, hardly keeping himself standing when his powerful wave of reiatsu washed over his body and engulfed him with spiritual pressure, attracting the attention of the Hollow creature and renewing its interest.

"Oh, not dead yet?" it inquired with a hint of a smirk in its voice. Naruto wanted to rip that mask off right then and there, but restrained himself to watching the winged snake and its movements, predicting its patterns with dead accuracy. This was no time to screw up, to be a fool. He needed to focus and make sure this one attack worked or they were all screwed. Positioning his hands just like Toushiro had taught him, he started the incantation for a Kidou spell. A rather _explosive_ Kidou spell.

The Hollow halted in mid-air, its wings flapping to keep itself steady as it hovered. "What are you planning, little Shinigami?"

"Oh ruler, mask of flesh and blood, all creations of the universe, fluttering of the wings, ye who bears the name of man! Scorching heat and disorder, evolve the transposition of the southern sea barrier. Hadou #31, Shakkahou!" A blast of red fire burst from his open palm, shooting at the snake that had stilled in the air. Well, at least it looked like it had been directed straight at the thing—that was, until the creature dodged to the left, as Naruto had intended. He had accurately curved the flame just enough to shoot it off to the side the Hollow would use for escape. The thing was bathed in a sea of blood red flame, screaming and screeching as it fell back to earth. Its wings burnt, its body drenched in fire, it had no escape now. Naruto, smiling a self-satisfied smile, walked over and picked up his sword. Slowly, oh so slowly, he pulled it back and the plunged it deep into the beast's exposed mask, the thing finally shriveling up and turning to ash right before his very eyes. With a sigh, one of relief, he sank back to his knees, exhausted and still bleeding.

"You, check the wounded! Someone needs to call the fourth division! If you can move, you can help!" A familiar voice rang out across the area, rapid footsteps running in all directions. "Come on, people! Get them help!"

Kaien rushed around, looking to ensure everyone was alive. A few had died, but that was to be expected from such a large wave of Hollows. He noticed someone he'd never seen before. Well, he had, but there was no way it was him.

Rushing towards the mop of blond hair, he skid to a halt, his eyes widening as he saw the person's face, _and_ the face of the person he was kneeled over.

"N-Naruto? Toushiro? What the fuck are you two doing here?" he demanded. He had a scratch on his temple and another wound in his side, and he was a _fifth seat_. Seeing those two _trainees_ made his stomach turn over.

Naruto whipped his head in the direction of the voice, laughing a bit tensely when he saw who it was. He scratched his nose, ignoring the caked blood on the side of his face. "Uh, hello, Kaien-dono," he mumbled sheepishly, starting to stand again but barely managing this time around. "We... ah... there was... it was all a misunderstanding!" The blond tried his best to explain himself, though it was kind of hard to do when his body was about to collapse under him. "Help... Shiro..." He motioned to Toushiro before falling to his knees once more, gasping and shaking all over. _Damn... the poison._ He scooted closer to his friend and started checking him over, noting the harsh rise and fall of his chest. But nonetheless, it meant his friend was still alive. _Good, when we get out of this, I'm **so** kicking his ass. And he had the gall to tell **me** not to die! Pft, what about himself?_ "Is... is he going make it?" he inquired of Kaien quietly, too tired to care that he was in serious trouble.

Kaien couldn't see the severity of Toushiro over Naruto, who was hiding the other boy's body from view. He reached into his robes and pulled out a vial with a needle on the end. Bending down, he jabbed it into the back of Naruto's neck. Before the blond could shout at him, he spoke, pulling the needle back out.

"It's an antidote. Urahara-taichou knows all kinds of poisons that Hollows create, so he made a universal antidote. It's really quite neat, and—" His words froze in his throat as he finally got a good look at Toushiro. "Shit! I need a member from the Fourth division over here now!" he hollered, pushing Naruto out of the way and checking Toushiro for a pulse. "Toushiro! Can you hear me? Fourth division!" he hollered again.

A medic shyly made his way over to the scene after one of his superiors ordered him to take Kaien's request. "Yes, Kaien-dono?" the young man asked softly, eyes downcast as he walked over to the scene. "What's going on?" His eyes darted upward and to the side when he noticed a grumbling blond leaned over a prone form. "Oh Kami-sama! What happened?" He kneeled beside the patient, checking the boy's pulse and then pulling out a medical kit tucked neatly into his Shinigami uniform. "He's going to need a reiatsu transfusion and immediate attention from Unohana-taichou. The best I can do is stop the bleeding for the time being and get you transportation." He looked down. "I'm sorry I can't be of more assistance."

Naruto didn't understand half of what the medic was saying, but he did know that it wasn't exactly the best news in the world. "What do _you mean_ you can't be of more assistance?" the rowdy blond shouted, standing and rubbing at his sore neck with a scowl. He stood on pure willpower, legs still hardly supporting him. "If he dies… If he dies, I don't know what I'll do!" There were tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, but they would not fall—he wouldn't let them. "You better do your best, that's all I can say!"

"Calm down." Kaien stood behind Naruto, hands on the boy's shoulders. "Thanks, Hanatarou. We'll leave him to you. I trust he'll be in good hands." He smiled down at the nervous boy he held a tight grip on. "Come on, Naruto, we need to get you checked out, as well. You've been badly injured, too, and there's nothing you can do for Toushiro right now."

Kaien didn't know what to do. Based on Hanatarou's reaction, it looked bad, and considering how the boy acted normally, for him to have reacted like _that_ meant it was _really_ bad. He, personally, didn't think Toushiro was going to make it. And if he _did_ die, he didn't want Naruto there to witness it.

Naruto struggled against Kaien and plowed his way straight back to Toushiro's side, kneeling and taking one of the boy's hands in his own with a deep set frown etched on his face. "Back off. I saved his sorry ass, so I'm staying _right here_, dammit! If he dies, then I'm going to make sure he doesn't die with no one at his side. He's _my friend_, _goddammit_! Fuck off, all of you! I'll staying here and the rest of you can just _leave_ for all I care!" Naruto was not to be trifled with in his current state. Even with his wounds, even with half of his reiatsu gone with that final Kidou attack, he still somehow found the energy to state his mind and make sure _everyone_ under stood what he meant. He'd be damned again if he left Toushiro in this one moment just to tend to his own wounds.

"But..." Hanatarou looked uncomprehendingly at Kaien, not understanding why the boy was being so stubborn. "But I can't do much, as I told you..."

"You said something about a transfusion," muttered Naruto, looking the skittish medic in the eye. "What's it involve?"

"Naruto, I understand why you would want to do this, but in your weakened state, all you'd do is exhaust yourself. You could even kill yourself." Kaien sighed. "There would be no point if you did this and then he died anyway along with you." He knew it was harsh, but he needed Naruto to understand. This wasn't reasonable.

_Why are they even **here**? They're in black Shinigami robes, and they have swords. How did this happen? If Toushiro dies, I'll find whoever's responsible, and have them pay!_ Kaien's fist clenched tightly at his side.

"I don't care!" Naruto glared furiously at Kaien and then turned his heated gaze back to Hanatarou, the young medic cowering at the look. "What does it _involve_?"

"It-it's fairly simply," whimpered Hanatarou, playing with his medic kit as he thought over how the process was preformed. "I've never really done it before... it should be done by a higher rank, of course. And... and the person supplying the reiatsu has to be exceptionally strong, so you'd need someone like Zaraki Kenpachi..." He trailed off, uncertain about even telling the blond that much. After all, Kaien hardly agreed with Naruto's decision... and he was the superior at the moment.

"What's going on here?" a worn out voice inquired from behind the small party. "A gathering, and I'm not invited?" A small chuckle. Shunsui, however, took in the scene with little amusement. "What are two trainees doing on a battlefield, if I may ask?" His tone had changed, more stern and demanding than it had been before. "And what's this? They both look injured... what is going on?" he asked once more, voice harsher than most had ever heard it. "These boys should be at the Academy. And you!" He looked at the meek Hanatarou. "Why aren't you helping them?" He pointed to the wounded boys.

"I-I was, sir..." Hanatarou kept his gaze directed at his lap. This situation was rather confusing. What did the captain _mean_ these were trainees?

"What are you yelling about _now_?" Jyuushiro appeared beside Shunsui with a sigh. "This is a battlefield. People are _wounded_. There's no need for—" His eyes widened. "Kami-sama, what are _they_ doing here?" he demanded, pointing at the two boys, his anger directed at Kaien.

"I-I don't know, Ukitake-taichou!" he exclaimed, worried. "I'm just as confused as you. I have no idea why they're here!"

"We need someone better than this one, he's just out of the Academy!" Ukitake motioned Hanatarou before crouching down next to Toushiro. "Is he alive?"

"He appears to be for the moment," Kaien replied in a small voice.

"We must get him back to Unohana-taichou." Jyuushiro took Toushiro in his arms, his white captain's robe getting stained with the boy's blood. "Shunsui, inform Kisuke, Isshin and Yoruichi! They'll want to know! Kaien, take Naruto and come back to Seireitei with me. You," he motioned Hanatarou with a jerk of his head. "Tend to someone whose wounds aren't this serious."

With that, he turned on his heel and rushed towards a portal that would lead back to Seireitei, acting much calmer than he felt. Just what the hell were two trainees four months into their training in the Academy doing out in the field?

Authors' Notes:

_Sarge – Maa, maa, Kisuke-chaaaaan. We weren't in this chapter (pouts) That's so upsetting! We're the only reason people even READ this, so how are we not in it? And there wasn't enough emphasis on our brilliant acts of artistic beauty! I drew a damn unicorn on the brats' wall, why wasn't it mentioned?!_

_Avril – I knooooow, Isshin! Where's the great justice in that?! I mean, come on! How devoted was I? Coming up with those pajama suggestions! Those women who write this story should really learn how to add a bit more me every now and again, you know? I feel so… under-appreciated! Sure, Whitey-chan thinks of me (I'm just that memorable) from time to time during the fight, but I want some action, too! (waggles eyebrows) In many ways, if you catch my drift._

_Sarge – (stares) I almost wish I didn't. But hey, you don't think anything bad will happen to us, do you? I mean, Sunshine-kun is going to tell people it was our fault, and if Whitey-chan doesn't wake up… well, I'm a little worried. Thankfully, this was all YOUR idea, as usual, so I'm safe in that respect, but I still had a hand in it. Hm, maybe I should hurry and skip town right now, then I can marry Masaki sooner and have Ichigo. (ponders this) Decisions, decisions._

_Avril – (frowns) Are you saying that if something happens… you're just going to abandon me? (dryly) Why thanks, Isshin, I certainly CAN count on my best friend. But you know (smirks) This conversation brings up memories! Oh, does it bring up memories. I almost have the urge to FORCE you to marry Masaki and make babies… that way I can do all those fun things to your son! (beams)_

_Sarge – YOU LEAVE MY SON OUT OF THIS! (strangles) I've already had to spend years trying to calm him down because of you and your LAST conversation about my son! You scarred him! He doesn't like you at all! And like I said, at least my son loves me, and I didn't CREATE him! I fathered him, like a NORMAL person! And hell yes I would abandon you to fave your doom alone, I have high survival instincts! Being an idiot and having strong survival instincts are one in the same, I'll have you know! When someone comes after you, like Ukitake, or Shunsui, or hell, Yoruichi, see if I watch your back! (pauses) OH DEAR GOD, YORUICHI IS GOING TO KILL US!_

_Avril – (panics like hell) Omg, I didn't consider Yoruichi into the mix! That woman's going to eat me alive! (gulps and then pauses and smirks) You know, that came out rather… naughty. I think I would like that in a certain sense, if a bed was involved and the lights were out. (goes back into panic move) BUT DAMN!!! SHE'S GOING TO BE FURIOUS!! Wait a second, she doesn't KNOW anything yet, we might be in the clear!_

_Sarge – Or we might not! Either way, it was all YOUR idea! You forced me into it, I had nothing to do with it! The unicorn? You drew it! I didn't do that! I wasn't even there! I was drinking sake with Shunsui! I swear it! (panics) I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE! (bolts for office)_

_Avril – (runs after Isshin) You get back here, you numbskull! DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THE VERY LARGE ROLE YOU PLAYED!!!!!!! ISSHIN, LISTEN WHEN I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!!_

_**Characters List:**_

_**Avril – **Naruto, Yumichika, Shunsui, Sentaro, Hanatarou_

_**Sarge – **Toushiro, Ukitake, Kaien, Tousen_

_Side notes: A lot of people have been questioning us about pairings? Sad to say, there will be none. It's something we decided before we even got started with this. XD Sorry, everyone! Hope you continue to enjoy the story. _

_Also, as both of us are incredibly busy right now, and Avril has less free time than Sarge usually has, we've decided it wouldn't be fair to update with stuff that wouldn't be up to par because we don't have the time to look it over and/or write it properly. So, we've decided to take a break until mid-May. We apologize for this, but it's really the best solution for the both of us. We hope you understand. _


	9. Unexpected

_**Attention all readers: **__I know very few people like author notes, let alone read them. :P Well, please read this! Sarge and I have been busy with real life circumstances the past couple of months, but we fully plan on finishing this story for all you wonderful people who have taken the time actually read what we write. _

_A few days ago Sarge left for Greece, she'll be back in a few weeks. In the meantime, when I get a chance, I will beta reader the next couple of chapters and post them up. Count on updates every weekend. We wrote a few extra chapters that we just haven't posted yet ... long before she left, so I'll be posting up those for your reading pleasure. Hope you all enjoy. When she returns, we'll write even more and re-establish an update time once more. For now, please enjoy the following chapters, starting with this weekend's update._

Chapter Nine – Unexpected

"More tea, Isshin?" asked Urahara passively, yawning as he held out the pot and ready to offer his friend some more hot tea if the man wanted any. Before he could be answered, the door to the 12th Division office opened and emitted a messenger from the 2nd Division's Special Forces.

"Excuse me, Urahara-taichou, Kurosaki-taichou." The messenger swept into the kneeled formal posture engrained into him from training, and bowed his head. "Urgent news. Your permission to speak."

"Ah, granted." Isshin cocked an eyebrow. "It's unusual for someone from your division to be all the way out here. Does Yoruichi know you're here?" He then reprimanded himself for asking such a question when the man had said it was urgent. "Go on, then. If it's urgent, don't wait for us to allow you to speak, out with it." He sipped at his tea, unconcerned. _Probably just another Hollow attack._

"There was another Hollow attack," the man began. "And yes, my superior knows I'm here, she's already headed over to the hospital district in the 4th Division's compound. There was a message she wanted me to pass on: Two hatchlings have left the nest and the cat has found them. She said to interpret as you will." He kept his head bowed as he spoke, showing how well disciplined the 2nd Division was and would forever be. "She also mentioned that if you had any common sense, you'd stay far away from her until she's sufficiently calmed down. The situation has her a bit ... miffed, for lack of a better word. The news on the street is that a young new recruit to the 13th Division mistook two trainees and sent them off to a Hollow battle. Permission to leave?"

Kisuke sighed. "You've got to be kidding me ..." He rubbed at his forehead. "Dismissed." The messenger immediately took his leave. "Wow, wasn't that informative? I wonder what's going on ... and how strange of Yoruichi, she's usually not that cryptic. That's my field of expertise, after all."

"Yeah." Isshin rubbed his chin. "She's really angry about something, how strange. Usually, the only times she ever gets furious is when it involves you or me." He frowned. "'Two hatchlings have left the nest and the cat has found them'? Well, the cat is her, obviously, but the two hatchlings - hmm. I can only think of Naruto and Toushiro. We both know how close she is to them." He gasped. "Oh, man, could you imagine how bad that would be for our Sunshine-kun and Whitey-chan? The messenger said that someone from the thirteenth division mistook two trainees for Shinigami and sent them into battle. Wouldn't it be horrible if that had been our boys? Thankfully, they're running around in either their pajamas or the girl's uniform, so we've nothing to worry about." Isshin went back to sipping his tea, wondering what Yoruichi could have meant with her message.

Kisuke's eyes widened, letting his head fall against the table with a loud thud. "No, no, no ... This can not be happening! You idiotic moron!" He lifted his face, glaring at Isshin pointedly. "Don't you _understand_ yet? Yoruichi _was_ talking about our boys! And you know what this means? It's our entire damn fault and she's going to skin us alive ... and then probably gut us for the hell of it. We're so screwed, it's not even funny." Another thud sounded throughout the room. "I hate you, Kurosaki."

Isshin rolled his eyes. "Kisuke, you're _clearly_ blowing this out of proportion. If it _were_ our boys, Yoruichi would've come personally to kill us before heading to the fourth division. Be a _little_ bit more realistic." He insisted as he sipped his tea some more. "Besides, our Sunshine-kun and Whitey-chan are much too smart to go out into the real world to battle Hollows. I know they can tie with us, but they're not _that_ cocky." He chuckled slightly.

"Isshin, may I ask you something?" Urahara lifted his head from the table and smiled false sweetly. "Now, this is very important. Take your time and try to remember this far back. Were you dropped on _your fucking head_ as a child?" He then proceeded to bang his repeatedly on the table. "Let me list off the reason _why_ it's our Whitey-chan and Sunshine-kun, shall I?"

Isshin blinked. "Kisuke, you _do_ realize that if what you say is true, and our boys _are_ the ones in the fourth division … even though we know Yoruichi will skin us alive, why aren't we there so we're with them when they wake up?" he asked. "I mean, we've caused them a lot of problems in the past, and what happened is our fault, but they're still important to us as more than just your experiments. Shouldn't we go make sure they're not dead?"

"... Don't you think I know that?" Kisuke stood swiftly. "Let's go before you change back into 'it's not them' frame of mind. I want to make sure they're not dead ... and I will admit I care for them as more than just mere experiments, Isshin. Don't belittle my personality with such a statement." He sniffed and started for the door. "Now come on, we don't have much time to waste."

00000

"_How could this happen_?" Yoruichi shrieked angrily.

"Shihouin-taichou, please," Unohana Retsu, captain of the fourth division, said in her small voice. "This is not the best place for your outbursts. Many injured Shinigami are attempting to sleep and recuperate."

"I know." Yoruichi forced herself to calm down. "I'm sorry, just - how are they?"

Unohana smiled reassuringly. "They are fine. Naruto-kun is all healed up. Toushiro-kun is as well, though when he will awaken is undetermined. However, rest assured that neither will be departing from our planes any time soon."

"Thank you. Can I see them?"

"Of course. Right this way." She turned and led the way down the corridor to a room, motioning the door. "They are in here. Naruto-kun should be awake, but Toushiro-kun is still unconscious, as I've said."

"Thank you." Yoruichi put her hand on the doorknob to open it, but Unohana put her own hand on the woman's shoulder.

"Do not be too hard on the people who put them through this. Though they nearly lost their lives, they understand their jobs better now. And those boys are much stronger than we give them credit for as trainees." She smiled warmly before walking away. Yoruichi took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Naru-koi?" she asked, walking into the room.

Naruto looked up from fidgeting, sitting on the edge of Toushiro's bed and having been caught in the act of watching the other boy sleep. "Ohayo, Koneko-hime." He attempted a slight smile. "Uh ... what'cha doing here?" He slid off the bed and stood, shifting uncomfortably as the bandages wrapped around his abdomen twisted in protest to the rough treatment.

"What do you mean what am I doing here, brat?" she asked, bopping him as lightly as possible on the head. "I came to see how you were doing. And..." She looked at the unconscious Toushiro. She sighed and hugged Naruto gently. "I'm glad you're okay." She pulled away and smiled. "So, how many Hollows did you kill? I bet there were lots of them out there." She tried to force a teasing smirk. "Bet you were scared."

Naruto shifted again, still uncomfortable. "Not really scared, more like afraid I would lose a friend." He glanced over at Toushiro, making a point, before slumping against his own hospital bed. "I don't remember how many of those things I killed ... but I do remember those last two. They were horrible, disgusting ..." He trembled and threw an arm over his eyes, blocking his line of sight. "Well, anyway, what did I miss here? Anything exciting?"

Yoruichi sat on the end of his bed, crossing her legs as she leaned back, watching Toushiro sleep. "Not really. Shunsui and Jyuushiro are going insane trying to find the person who sent you to the human world without proper instructions to do so. Tousen isn't in any trouble because Jyuushiro explained the past situation. He didn't know this was going to happen, so he's not being punished for what he did. Kisuke and Isshin, on the other hand, are going to be skinned alive when I get a hold of them. If they hadn't replaced your uniforms with the girl ones, none of this would've happened." Her eyes hardened. "This isn't a game. When will those two grow up?" She sighed, shaking her head. "Anyway, I'm glad you're all right. And Unohana-taichou said that Toushiro will be fine, too. He'll wake up soon." She smiled reassuringly at Naruto. "Then you can yell at him for scaring you so much."

Removing his arm from over his eyes, he sat up and stared at Yoruichi, frowning. "Well, yeah, I'm planning on doing that no matter what. Heck, I'll even yell at him if he's still unconscious in a few hours time. Damn Hitsu-teme. What I'm concerned about is you skinning Urahara and Kurosaki. You don't know where their skin has been, Koneko-hime, you might catch whatever they have!" He chuckled, a real smile lighting up his face as he fell back into the pillows. "Thanks for coming, Yoruichi-san. It's awfully lonely in a hospital, you know? Especially with an unconscious jerk sleeping in the bed over who snores like he's sawing logs or something."

"The unconscious jerk can hear you." Yoruichi's head snapped towards the other bed as Toushiro groaned. "Someone want to hit me with whatever knocked me out again so I don't have to feel this pain anymore?"

"Toushiro." Yoruichi sighed, relieved. He was finally awake. She shifted off Naruto's bed and sat down on his, brushing some hair off his forehead, mindful of his wounds. "Are you all right?"

"Wonderful. Someone kill Kisuke and Isshin for me."

"Done." She laughed, and then turned to Naruto. "So, want to say something to the 'unconscious jerk,' Naru-koi?" she asked with a smile.

"Uh ..." Naruto glanced at Toushiro, flushing a little. "Yeah ... yeah, I suppose." He shifted into a standing posture and walked over to join Yoruichi on the bed, leaning forward. And then he slapped the other boy soundly across the face. "Don't you ever fucking do that again, do you hear me?" He looked over his shoulder, glancing at the woman. "And that's about all I had to say." He nodded, got back up, and plopped down on his own bed, facing the opposite way.

"Naru - " Yoruichi was cut off as Toushiro grabbed her arm, her attention turning back to him.

"At least he didn't hit me with full strength." The boy laughed slightly, and then winced. "Good to know you're still alive, idiot. Last time I saw you, you were flat on your face. At least you know how to keep your end of the bargain." He shifted, trying to get more comfortable. It wasn't working.

The door flew open then, Isshin being pushed into the room by Kisuke, sweating buckets. "N-Now, Yoruichi - b-before you say anything, this wasn't what we'd been planning for our boys," he insisted, terrified. "It was a joke, and it - it wasn't meant to go this far."

"Kisuke, why don't you come out instead of using your idiotic friend as a shield?" the woman asked dryly, crossing her legs and leaning back on Toushiro's bed this time.

At Yoruichi's tone of voice, the hidden Kisuke stiffened, thinking up a course of action quickly. With as much elegance and grace Urahara Kisuke had been blessed with, he pushed his friend all the way into the room and then off to the side so everyone could see his smiling face. "Hello, Yoruichi-love, didn't know you knew I was there, now did I?" He winked and then took a look around the room. "What's this? Everyone looks so gloomy!"

Naruto snorted into his pillow, studiously ignoring the whole situation.

Shrugging, paying no mind to Naruto, Urahara walked a bit closer to the 2nd Division captain before dropping down onto one knee, bowing his head slightly as he searched for something in the folds of his Shinigami uniform. "Where is it?" he muttered to himself with a disgruntled sigh. "Aha!" He pulled out a little ring box that sat innocently in the palm of his hand as he held it up for Yoruichi to see properly. "I think it's about time I did this." He nodded sagely to himself, tossing Isshin a smirk before giving the woman his full attention. "I could have never thought of this on my own, but ... Yoruichi-love ... I have a question to ask you."

Isshin's jaw hit the floor so hard it was dangling at eye-level on the ground below. _Is he __**crazy**__? I was only __**joking**__ when I suggested that, I didn't think he would actually ask her to marry him! What is he thinking? If he marries her, our days of fun are over!_

Yoruichi herself was absolutely speechless. She was horrified, but amazed at the same time. He couldn't _possibly_ be thinking what she thought he was thinking - could he? It was insane! They never got along, he always acted like an idiot, she always yelled at him - sure, they'd been friends since forever, but this?

Naruto perked up when all he heard was silence following Urahara's last words. He looked up and glanced at Toushiro, quirking an eyebrow in bemusement. Just what was going on?

"Now, I take this very seriously, it's a matter of utmost importance," continued Kisuke in a solemn voice, as solemn as he got anyway. He placed his hand atop the little box and slowly started to open it. "Yoruichi ... would you do me the honor of ..." He paused dramatically like he was prone to do.

"Spit it out already!" Naruto demanded, sitting up completely in his bed and hugging a pillow for no particular reason.

Toushiro's eyes had gotten so wide they were actually starting to hurt due to his lack of blinking. He didn't know what he should do. A part of him wanted to stop this, while another part was utterly fascinated by the idea of Yoruichi being married to Kisuke. It was just too funny. And if that happened, then Kisuke would _never_ be able to fight him again, which meant Toushiro would finally get some peace! It was too good to be true!

Isshin himself was also wondering whether or not to stop it. If Kisuke married Yoruichi, then that meant that all their fun times would be cut off. They wouldn't be able to have as much fun as usual because Kisuke would basically be controlled by the indigo-haired woman. That would be horrendous! Looking up at Yoruichi to see her reaction, all he could read on her face was shock - and possibly some revulsion.

Urahara coughed, amused by all the looks he was getting. Well, he had dragged it out long enough. "Yoruichi, would you do me the honor of ... not skinning me alive?" He batted his eyelashes for good measure, opening up the little box to reveal a small ring seating primly on the purple velvet bedding. Around the simple golden band were little paw prints, uncomplicated and tasteful, just the way Yoruichi liked her jewelry - it was his ace in the hole, so to speak. It was often good to have "don't kill me" presents when one was friends with a woman such as Yoruichi. "What do you think, love?"

Toushiro stared with morbid fascination as Isshin fell down dead, twitching on the floor. He wondered what the other man had possibly been thinking to react like that, because it was a strange reaction to have.

As for Yoruichi, she stared at Kisuke for a long while before clearing her throat and slowly bringing her hands together, cracking the knuckles on her left hand with her right before doing the same with her other hand.

"Kisuke. You got the boys into black uniforms." She took a step forward. "You put them in danger because of your little prank." She took another step forward so she was right in front of the kneeling Kisuke. "Toushiro almost died and Naruto was incredibly injured." She glared down at Kisuke. "And then you try and make all of us believe you're asking me to marry you when in fact you just don't want to get hurt." She grinned sinisterly. "Kisuke, _love_, you better start running because I'm not giving you more than five seconds before I come after you with my sword drawn."

_Looks like playtime is over ..._ Urahara laughed nervously. "Now, now, Yoruichi. All with good intentions, all with good intentions." He glanced helplessly at the still twitching Isshin for help._ I'm so screwed. _Without another moment's pause, he tried to talk his way out of yet another spot of trouble. "Think this through Yoruichi," he tried to say as calmly as he could, taking a step backwards in time with her moving forwards even more. "You don't want to leave them in their current states, right? We can always have our little inevitable showdown once they're all well and good, ne?"

Naruto pressed his face into the pillow, no realizing why he was hugging it - to cover up his laughter at Kisuke. He hardly felt pity for the man. Yoruichi's rampage was bound to happen and it was just too funny. Urahara was about to get whipped once more.

"Isshin can watch the boys," Yoruichi insisted, grinning evilly. "And this will only take a second, anyway." She pulled out her sword.

"Um, Yoruichi-san," Toushiro said tentatively. "This is a hospital, and Naruto and I - well, we're injured. I don't think it would be such a good idea for you to fight Urahara-taichou in here."

"You're absolutely right," Yoruichi replied, which caused Toushiro to sigh in relief. "Hurry up and get your ass outside, Kisuke, before I drag you out by force."

Toushiro slapped his forehead, which then caused his headache to increase. _Someone hates me. First Naruto, then Kisuke, now this? Why me?_

Naruto spoke after lifting his head up from the pillow. "Koneko-hime, calm down." He chuckled once more, making sure he had finally got all his laughter out. "Don't you think you're blowing this a little out of perspective?"

"See!" Urahara jumped on Naruto's statement like a drowning person on a lifeguard. "Even your dearest Naru-koi doesn't want you to hurt me! Tell her like it is, Sunshine-kun!"

There was absolute relief in the man's voice.

"On second thought, sic 'em, Koneko-hime."

Yoruichi smirked at Kisuke, nodding. "Of course, Naru-koi. I wouldn't dream of letting him get away with this." The woman charged for the captain of the 12th division.

00000

Abarai Renji yawned hugely as he walked down the corridor. "This is ridiculous. A Hollow attack and all the teachers run off to fight. Don't they have other people to do that? Means I woke up for nothing this morning."

"I heard it was pretty bad," Kira insisted as he thumbed through one of the books. "And on a brighter note, at least we got some time off. I was getting sick of watching that white-haired punk always blow up those targets in kidou. Yumichika-sensei never said anything, but it just pissed me off seeing it."

"What about his friend, huh?" Renji grinned. "What a joke. That kid won't be getting anywhere fast." He laughed loudly as he switched his books from his left hand to his right. "Little blondie can't do anything right."

--

"Still worried about your boys, Momo-chan?" teased Rukia, walking alongside the girl. "They're fine, aren't they? I heard that Unohana-taichou of the 4th Division finally released them. How ever did they get hurt so badly?"

Sighing, Momo shook her head, just as confused. "I don't know ... they wouldn't tell me when I went to see them in the hospital ... that's why I'm taking them some soup. I found out Naruto-kun likes ramen, so I'd thought I'd take them some."

"That's rather of sweet of you."

They rounded a corner, running smack into the boys coming from the other direction. Soup, books, and other important papers went flying into the air, the girls watching in horror as the two bowls of soup spilled all over their books and homework.

Renji reeled backwards as he stared down at the mess, scowling angrily. He looked up to start yelling when the sound died in his throat, causing him to cough almost violently. He hadn't expected the person he suddenly found himself standing in front of.

"Aw, dammit! Watch where you're going," Kira grumbled as he bent down to try and grab his books, only to look up and realize the pants in front of him were red. These were girls. _Oh, whoops. They'll probably cry or something, I better take that back._ Standing completely, he forced a smile. "I was just kidding, ladies. You girls okay? Didn't get burned, did you?"

"Rukia..." Renji didn't say any more than that. He was scared of getting kneed in the shin or something.

Coming out of her shock, Rukia glowered at the two boys. She raised an eyebrow when she noticed Renji. "Ohayo, Renji. You'll, of course, be helping us clean this mess up? And my homework, which took three hours to finish, is completely ruined. I do hope you're going to do something about that." She tapped her foot against the floor, rolling her eyes. "Why weren't you boys watching where you were going in the first place? What are you? Shinigami, ordinary men, or mice?"

Momo's eyes continued to widen as she bent down to retrieved her books along with Rukia's, shaking off the noodles draped across them. "I - I'm sorry ... we weren't paying attention, please forgive us for trespassing on the boys' dormitories."

"Now wait just a damn second, Rukia!" Renji pointed one finger in her face, glaring angrily. "Like your friend said, you're in _our_ dorm. You can't just talk to us like that! _You're_ the ones who did the most damage here. You dropped soup on _our_ books as well as yours. We weren't the ones carrying the soup; therefore, we are not the ones at fault."

"We weren't really paying attention to where we were going," Kira insisted to his roommate.

"Shut up or I'll make _you_ clean it up by yourself." Renji bent down, grabbing his book and shaking it out, soup flying off the cover. "Gross. Ramen. Why did it have to be ramen?" he grumbled.

"Why are you in our dormitories, anyway?" Kira asked as he bent down and started scooping the noodles into a half-broken bowl so he could dispose of them. They would have to let the broth dry by sun.

Rukia ignored Kira in favor of jabbing a finger into Renji's chest. "Hey, are you getting smart with me? Do you not remember who can kick your ass and wipe the floor with it? I wouldn't go pissing me off, if I were you." She pulled her hand back and cracked her knuckles menacingly. "Look, Momo and I were just here to see a couple of guys; it's none of your concern."

Blushing at how that sounded, the threat and the implied innuendo, Momo bent down again, this time to help Kira clean up the mess all over the floor. "Actually, we're kind of lost. We're looking for Naruto-kun and Hitsugaya-kun ... you wouldn't happen to know them would you? This place is so big ... I can't believe I forgot where their room is like this. And I'm sorry about the ramen ... Renji, was it? That's actually my fault. I'm so sorry."

Renji looked down at Momo as she and Kira tried to clean up the noodles and felt kind of sorry for her. With a grimace, he looked up at the ceiling with a loud sigh. "It's okay, I'm just grouchy." He glared at Rukia, a silent order for her not to say anything. He wasn't in the mood for insults. "As for the two guys, they wouldn't happen to be the troublemakers who live next door to us, would they? I seem to recall the blond idiot being called Naruto or something." Renji rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Renji-kun, that was somewhat rude." Kira cleared his throat, standing again with a few books - his and the other's - in hand so he could let them dry out by his window or something, since they were heading towards their room anyway.

Rukia smirked, shaking her head. "And why, Renji, do you call them troublemakers? I heard only good things here from dearest Momo-chan."

"Well, it might be the same Naruto we're talking about," Momo interjected, giggling. "He is quite the character, Rukia-san." She glanced shyly at the two boys. "Well, if you two are their neighbors ... could - could we follow you? We'd really like to talk with them about something."

"Great, just spark their interest, Momo-chan." Rukia sighed, knowing Renji wouldn't give up on knowing what that 'something' was about now.

"You're in the boy's dorm, I'm already curious." Renji rolled his eyes. "Come on, and don't lag behind." Renji pushed between the two girls, heading down the corridor. Kira gathered the rest of the books, holding as many as he could, and followed after Renji, going around the girls instead of through them since Renji had been sort of rude.

"The teachers weren't here all day so Renji's in a bit of a mood," Kira said to the girls. "Though I'm sure you'd know this, Rukia-san, since you and Renji appear to be formerly acquainted."

Rukia followed after the two boys, Momo at her side. "Well, yeah, we heard about it. Considering that these two particular boys were _in_ said fight." She rolled her eyes, disregarding the sharp gasp Momo let out.

"Rukia-san!" Momo said, nudging her friend rather informally in the side. "We can't go making rumors like that! The whole school would be in a horrible frenzy! We don't know if that's what happened. It could have just been a coincidence or something."

The other girl snorted. "Yeah, right, coincidence. Uh huh."

Renji snorted before bursting out laughing. "That blond idiot? Fighting Hollows? Man, Rukia, your head mustn't be screwed on right, because the world would end if that blond dumbass was fighting Hollows to save the world."

"Renji..." Kira sighed, trailing off. There was no point, Renji wouldn't listen, anyway.

The red-haired man stopped in front of a door. "This is it." He started pounding loudly on it.

"Hey! _Hey_! There are wounded people in here!" Toushiro's voice exploded angrily. "Shut the hell up and go away!"

Rukia patted Kira on the arm. "I know, I tried too. It just doesn't work," she stated sadly before busting Renji upside the head. "Oi, you! Stop with the banging!"

Momo worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "I'm actually kind of worried, I don't hear Naruto-kun ... that can't be a good sign."

The other girl raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"He's usually rather loud."

"_Shut the fuck up all of you_!" There was crash and a bang, something hitting the door rather loudly.

"Ah, he lives," Rukia noted.

"Hey, dumbasses!" Renji called as he continued to bang on the door, not particularly caring that he'd get hit across the back of the head again. "You can't be _that_ injured if you have all that energy. You have visitors, so open the damn door!"

Kira's eyes widened at the other's words. Renji was so rude sometimes! "I'm sorry about Renji!" he called through the door over Renji's shoulder, said man turning to glare. Kira smiled sheepishly.

"We _are_ injured!" Toushiro hollered back. "I am very badly injured! _And my head hurts_! So just go away!" He was quickly losing his patience, and it was evident in his voice. "I have a sword, and friends in high places!"

"That's right! And we know crazy people who will slice and dice you!" Naruto added his two cents in, a whine to his voice.

Momo, still worried, walked to the door and knocked gently. "Hitsugaya-kun, Naruto-kun? It's me ... I just wanted to make sure you guys were okay."

"See, you need to let a _woman_ handle this, Renji," Rukia stated rather smugly.

At the soft voice that he knew all too well by now, Naruto stopped his groaning and moaning and hopped over to the door, wincing as the movement was protested by his injuries. He threw open the door, nonetheless, and smiled at Momo. "Oh, it's just you Momo-chan! I was worried it was ..." His gaze caught the rest of the gang behind her, his smile falling and shattering in the pit of despair. "Oh joy, you brought company." _At least it isn't Rangiku._ He thanked God for small mercies.

"Hey, Hinamori," Toushiro called from his bed, lying on his back with a sigh. He winced as it strained the newly-healed muscles in his chest. Even though he was fully healed, the areas where he and Naruto had been wounded were still tender, and it had taken a long time for Unohana-taichou to heal his chest wound. He still had bandages on it now to help ensure he didn't move it a way he shouldn't or something.

"You guys look like shit," Renji said, ever so bluntly.

Kira just sighed, not even bothering.

"What happened to you guys? These two say you were in a fight with Hollows." The redhead jerked his thumb at Rukia and Momo. "I think they're full of crap because you two would've died."

Naruto scratched at his chin. "So, what of it? We're still alive. Gravely wounded, but still alive."

"So it's true?" Momo asked, aghast. "Please tell me you two bakas didn't?"

Scowling at being called a baka by Momo, he crossed his arms and tried not to flinch. "Lacking in confidence of us, Momo-chan?"

"Lacking stupidity," Rukia corrected. "It's hard to believe two _trainees_ could go up against Hollows and live to tell the tale. I'm with him." She jerked her thumb at Renji in turn. "You're both full of it. All right, it would make sense, but still. It's kind of hard to believe."

"Really?" Toushiro glared. "Then I would like to ask you to please enter the room." Renji cocked an eyebrow but did as Toushiro asked, turning to see if Rukia was following before turning to look at Toushiro again.

"And?"

"Now, if you would be so kind as to walk to my closet, open the door, and pull out the only uniform I have in there, I'd appreciate it."

"I'm not your maid, you brat," Renji snapped.

"Just do it." Toushiro's voice lowered dangerously, the air in the room becoming slightly heavier.

Renji just rolled his eyes to mask his trepidation and walked to the closet, opening it and pulling out the black Shinigami robes. He stared at them for a long time. Just stared.

There was a giant hole right through the center. Right where Toushiro's bandages were. Glancing in the corner of the closet, he also saw a sword. The hilt had dried blood on it. "There's no way..." he trailed off, completely dumbfounded.

"Naruto's uniform looks pretty similar if you want to check his out, too."

_**They**__ fought __**Hollows**__? That's impossible! Even if whitey is good at Kidou, there's no way trainees can fight Hollows, especially since so many__** real**__ Shinigami came back so wounded._

Rukia brought a shaky hand up to her mouth to cover her shock, eyes darting to the stunned and trembling Momo. No doubt the other girl was upset ... she had almost lost two of her best friends, by the look of things. "It's okay, Momo ... they're still alive."

Tears started brimming in Momo's eyes as she looked to Naruto, begging him to say it wasn't true even when she had seen the evidence to the contrary. She just couldn't believe her friends had been that close to death ... and she hadn't been there at all, by their side. What kind of friend _was_ she? In her mind, she kept berating her own helplessness. "How?" was the only question she could think of to ask. The only one that wouldn't break her down into tears.

Naruto blinked, never having seen a girl so emotional. "Momo ... chan?"

"I said _how_!"

Rukia winced at Momo's shout.

Renji just stared at Momo, stunned. She had been so shy and quiet just a second ago, but now - he was actually a little scared by her anger. He knew women got emotional, but this was just scary.

"Hinamori." Toushiro grunted as he sat up, wincing slightly before turning and putting his feet on the floor before standing and walking up to her. "It's all right, Hinamori, we're fine. See?" He motioned himself, trying not to betray the fact that standing was killing him. "It was an honest mistake. We got black Shinigami robes and then someone mistook us for real Shinigami and sent us out to fight Hollows before we could explain. Don't worry, Kaien-dono is sorting everything out and even though we were injured, we're still alive." Toushiro smirked slightly. "And Naruto's not as useless as I thought he was."

Without thinking, tears clouding her vision completely, she hugged him, her face pressed next to his as she captured him in a hug. She usually wasn't so clingy, but she needed to know he was there, that he was safe and in her arms. "Don't. You. Ever. Do. That. Again!" Her whole frame shook against him, sobs racking her body. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Naruto stood awkwardly to the side, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Hn, at least I wasn't so useless then, ne? Or else we almost would have lost the teme."

Rukia wanted to strangle the simple blond. "Idiot." She slapped the back of his head as well. "She was just starting to see reason," the dark haired girl hissed out the corner of her mouth. "And yet you had to go and ruin it."

Momo continued to cling to Toushiro, hardly caring so long as the boy was safe. She pulled back, wiping her tears away and attempting a smile for Naruto. "Thank you for bringing him back safely, Naruto-kun. And thank you for returning home safely yourself."

Toushiro let out an almost inaudible groan as Momo let him go, resisting the urge to clutch his chest. She hadn't hugged him too hard, but his injury was still really painful, and he was feeling light-headed, like he needed to sit down. _Damn Naruto, why is he acting like he's not even injured. He __**has**__ to be hurting as much as me!_

"Don't give the idiot so much praise. I saved him, too, he just chose to ignore that fact. Selective memory, or something."

Renji stared at Toushiro, then the robes. He believed the two boys, but something in the back of his mind - probably jealousy, but he'd never admit it - decided to insist they were lying.

"Yeah right, you two didn't do those things." He put the robes back, slamming the closet shut. "You're so full of shit." He walked towards the door, shouldering past Kira before slamming into someone's chest.

"May I inquire as to why you were not paying attention to your surroundings? There are injured people in this room," an angry female voice snapped.

"Oh yeah?" Renji moved up closer, sneering into her face. "And who are you to tell me what to do?"

A blade instantly found itself against Renji's throat, yellow eyes narrowing angrily as the man's own eyes widened.

"Shihouin Yoruichi, captain of the 2nd division," she said, her voice laced with malice.

"Yoruichi-san!" chirped Naruto, turning to address the woman. "How'd the beat down go?" He smirked, sparing no heartfelt warmth for the likes of Urahara Kisuke.

Rukia looked back and forth between the two, wondering how a captain knew these two boys. "If I may be so bold, ma'am, what are you doing here?"

Momo just stared at the woman in awe. _The way she holds her sword ... you can just tell she's good._ "Shihouin-taichou!" She bowed.

"Kisuke was still breathing last time I checked him." Yoruichi put her sword away as she pushed Renji aside and walked into the room. "But don't worry, I'll change that." She smiled brightly at the two boys. "You doing okay, Toushiro? Naru-koi?"

Toushiro just blushed, avoiding her gaze. He instead chose to look at Momo, who was still bowing deeply. Yoruichi noticed and turned to Momo, chuckling slightly. "Are you still like that? I thought you would've come back up by now." She put her hand on Momo's head and bent down, turning her own head to the side slightly to be able to see the young girl's face. "You remind me of Soifon. The two of you are so silly. I'm only a captain."

"You seemed to like that post a second ago," Renji muttered under his breath. Yoruichi turned to glare at him.

"Do you want to see what's left of Urahara Kisuke?" she threatened. "Because I'm considering doing that to you, and for a much smaller reason than that idiot putting my two favorite trainees in danger." She kissed Toushiro's forehead before patting Naruto's shoulder gently.

Blushing, Momo straightened back up, still looking out of place. "You're still a captain, and all trainees must show the proper respect for their superiors. I read it in the student handbook. Word for word, letter for letter ... I just didn't want to do something wrong since ... I'm only here because of them." She motioned Naruto and Toushiro, keeping her gaze down. "I'm barely getting by as is." _I feel so useless_, she thought, fighting back even more tears as she lifted her head and tried composing a smile for the captain.

Rukia switched her gaze from Momo back to Renji, scowling at the boy. "Let it go, ya mutt, just let it go. I don't wanna have to scoop up what's left of you after a captain gets done with your ass."

Naruto snickered. "I say we let her do it. He could use a good _whipping_, don't you think?"

"Shut up, koi." Yoruichi only refrained from smacking Naruto because he was injured. She smiled at Momo. "You know, I like you. You show captains the respect they deserve. Hell be damned if I ever see these two treat me with respect." She motioned Naruto and Toushiro. "Naruto insults me as much as Kisuke does and Toushiro - actually, you don't talk to me very much." She turned to look at the boy, which caused him to blush and look away hurriedly. Renji snickered, Kira even letting a smile form on his face.

Out of fear for his life, though, the red-haired young man decided to keep his thoughts to himself. He didn't want the captain to think he'd insulted Toushiro and then get the shit kicked out of him. That wouldn't be cool.

Naruto smiled. "It's only because I love you, Koneko-hime, that I insult you." He nodded twice for emphasis. "Kisuke's just a jerk who tried to propose to you and failed miserably. I think he got cold feet." He tossed a wink at the woman and then scuttled to stand near Toushiro. "I'm near the cripple, don't kill me."

Momo looked horrified at his informality with a captain of all people. "Naruto- kun!" She flushed, hardly knowing what to say.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Rukia rested her head in her hands. "Ye gods. Is this school full of crazy or what?"

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Toushiro is hardly crippled. Besides, I could still get to you." She smirked, tapping the hilt of her sword for emphasis. "And you're going to have to go to the bathroom sooner or later." Her grin grew wicked and Toushiro snorted. Even Renji started laughing.

"You are one unconventional captain, you know that?" he said to the woman with a cocky smirk.

"Why thank you, Abarai-san, I'll be sure to carve that into your tombstone." Renji's grin faded. How had Yoruichi known his name? "So, then, my little trainee babies, you'll be surviving these injuries, I take it? I still need to go find Kisuke and force him to perform seppuku before I've satisfied; so, is it all right if I leave?"

"Yeah, it's all right." Naruto rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck with a grin. He chanced saying, "And why the heck did you drop by in the first place? Not that I'm complaining or anything." He winked. "Rather like your company, Koneko-hime."

Hinamori was still flabbergasted by the whole thing, hardly able to get in a word edge wise since her mind was still processing the whole unlikely situation. _They know__** captains**__, they__** know**__ captains._ That was the only thing running through her mind, really. She knew about some of the captains, the ones that tortured her poor friends, but she didn't know they knew a non-insane one. Let alone one that they actually seemed to _like_. And was a _woman_, a rather _playful_ woman. She shook her head, a small smile stealing onto her lips.

"Arrogant little brat." Yoruichi cocked one hip out, resting her hand on it. "See if I ever care about _you_ again. I just wanted to make sure neither of you had upped and died on us because Kisuke and Isshin are idiots." She shrugged. "But like I said, I'm heading out. I'll drop by again later. Ja ne." She waved as she headed out, closing their door.

"Damn, what a babe." Renji grinned before turning to Naruto and Toushiro. "How did you meet her? Through those psychos you're always insisting you spar with when you're late for class?"

"Renji, I think we can establish they're telling the truth, now," Kira insisted with a sigh, patting his friend's shoulder. Renji was just in denial, not wanting to admit Naruto and Toushiro _weren't_ completely useless.

"Yeah, she and Kisuke are best friends or something," Toushiro said as the color started to leave his face. He sighed; thankfully, no one had commented on it.

"So... she your girlfriend or something, tomato-head?"

_Spoke too soon_, Toushiro sighed as Renji laughed at his own joke.

"Wait, what?" asked Naruto, scandalized. "If anything, she's _my_ girlfriend." He was just kidding, of course; he personally thought of Yoruichi as more of a mother figure than anything. Kind of like Tsunade, if he thought about it. Walking toward Renji with a roll of his eyes, he slapped the redhead on the back of the head - much like he had seen Rukia do. "And, oi, don't appreciate you calling her a babe and picking on Toushiro. Both are _my_ job!" His grin widened.

Rukia twitched on the spot, while Hinamori let out a tentative giggle at her blond friend's antics. "They're so silly, aren't they, Rukia-chan?"

"Oh yes, very." She twitched again. Damn Naruto, _she_ wanted to be the one to slap Renji.

"Teme!" Renji grabbed the front of Naruto's shirt, pulling him forward so they were face to face. "Injured or not, I'm going to kick your ass, you little punk!"

"I don't think so." Renji found a blade pressing into the back of his neck. He turned, eyes wide. He hadn't even heard Toushiro move, let alone _saw_ him move.

"Put that down," Kira growled, holding his hands at the ready to blast Toushiro if the boy went through with his threat.

"Make him let Naruto go, and I'll put the sword down," Toushiro snapped. "I don't appreciate you coming into our room, laughing at us, insulting us, and then threatening us."

Scowling, Naruto pulled back. Renji's grip was too strong, though, so he couldn't completely remove himself from the hold. "Hey, I was just playing, you idiot. If you wanna fight, let's do it when I'm _not_ wounded. I love a good fight, but I'd be at an unfair advantage at the moment, don't you think?" He growled and tried to pull back again. _Why can't I get out of his damn grip?_

"Renji!" Rukia scolded immediately, walking over and punching him full in the gut, making sure not to hurt Naruto in the process. "You baka! Leave them alone!"

Blinking, Hinamori stood stock still. She hadn't known her friend was so ... violent.

Renji dropped Naruto's shirt and groaned, holding his stomach with both hands. Toushiro moved his sword as Kira dropped his arms and took a step back.

Then, Renji stood straight, and waved his fist at Rukia while hollering in her face. "What the hell was that for? I was kidding! _Kidding_! Do you know the word? Or has this school turned you moronic?"

"Renji-kun..." Kira let out a nervous chuckle before inching towards the door. He'd only just met Rukia, but he was now aware of how violent she was. The first chance he got, he ran from the room, calling to Naruto and Toushiro that he hoped they got better soon and he would see them in class tomorrow.

_They keep saying stuff about us in class... I don't remember ever having seen them in our classes before_, Toushiro thought, putting most of his weight on his sword when his stomach ached in protest.

"Outside, Renji!" Rukia shouted back, pointing toward the door Kira had fled from. "I'm going to teach you a lesson." She smirked and cracked her knuckles. "Since we have the rest of the day off and nothing to do, plus you're itching for a fight ... why don't we play?" She batted her eyelashes in a teasing matter.

"Rukia!" interjected Hinamori quickly. "We have to re-do all our homework, remember?"

"Tch, this won't take long, Hinamori. Trust me."

As Rukia argued with Hinamori about the fight, dragging a protesting Renji out by the collar, the three headed outside the dorm room and into the hallway, the voices still carrying into the room.

"Well ... that was interesting," Naruto said, sighing and wincing in pain as he kicked the door shut. "Ouch, I'm hurting all over. Why did they have to have to stop by when I'm injured of all times? And what's with those two guys acting like they know us?" He walked over and plopped down onto the bed, flopping backwards with a groan.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," Toushiro admitted. "I mean, there's that one time I knocked on their door to ask where the shop was, but other than that, I don't recall ever having seen them before. They say they're in our classes, but that Renji guy's hair and tattoos are hard to miss. How the hell _could _we have missed them?"

Naruto gave a half-hearted shrug. "I really don't know either. Maybe they're just good at blending in? Or it could be the fact that that bitch -" He faked a cough, hiding a grin. "I mean, Ise Nanao ... is always distracting us, ya know?" He chuckled, the action sending an ache throughout his still sore muscles. "Man, life's a bitch, then you die. Who ever came with that saying must not have been a fucking Shinigami." He laughed dryly, trying his best to ignore the light pain that followed.

Toushiro laughed, agreeing. "I concur. Life's a bitch, then you die, and the afterlife continues to be a bitch until you die _again_." He paused and thought about it for a minute. "I wonder what happens after we die again. Do you reckon we just go back to being normal humans with no recollection of what happened up here? Like, you know, it's a never ending cycle?"

"You're asking me?" The blond smirked and shook his head. "I have no clue what happens when we die after we've already died. Maybe we turn to dust like those Hollows?" He blinked. "What was with that, anyway? We never did ask Yoruichi or anyone about Hollows, and history class is going so slow with that stuff... and plus I hardly pay attention in that one."

"Read the book," Toushiro said, throwing one of the books on his nightstand towards the blond, hoping it wouldn't hit him in the head. "They're basically lost souls that are either overcome with hatred and grief that they turn into Hollows, or they were kidnapped by Hollows and turned into them. Some souls can't pass on for some reason or another, so Hollows will target them and either devour them or turn them into Hollows as well. And when we killed them, we didn't really _kill_ them, we cleansed their souls. They come up here to soul society once the evil is banished from them."

"Ooooh, that'll explain it." Naruto reached up just in time to stop the book from hitting him in the face. "What happens if a Hollow's soul isn't cleansed?" He started flipping through the pages, wrinkling his nose when he noticed there were no pictures. "Gah, how do you read something this dry? It looks so ... boring."

"Because we need to know it to be Shinigami," Toushiro replied wryly. "And Kisuke told me I could probably graduate early, so I thought I could try and see if it was true." He shrugged. "As for Hollows that haven't been cleansed, they just roam the earth devouring human souls or turning others into Hollows. Apparently, there was this one time where a huge group of Hollows attacked this one city and killed all the living humans - because it was reported all their souls were eaten. It was pretty sad stuff. It doesn't really explain what happens to the eaten souls, so I assume they just cease to exist, which is kind of sad."

"Nobody knows what happens to a soul that's eaten? Yeah, that cease to exist thing would be kind of a sad way to go." He sighed and rubbed at his temples with one hand. "Wow, this is a lot to read. But … about my question. I meant, what if a soul can't be cleansed? Like, you killed it, but it wasn't cleansed? What would happen then?"

"Well, that all depends on who the soul was before he died. Sometimes, like I said, a soul is forced to become a Hollow, or anger or fear turn it into one. If someone does evil deeds as a human, and then dies, they become a Hollow pretty much right away, and if we kill a Hollow like that, so to speak, then it goes to Hell. At least, that's what I remember." He frowned. "Throw me the book again." He motioned for it.

Naruto threw it back from his slumped position on the bed, not aiming properly and missing Toushiro's bed. He tried not to wince when he hurt the inevitable crash. "Well ... looks like we're going to need a new lamp." He turned his head in the other boy's direction, attempting a grin. "Sorry?" All he got was a pillow to the face and a yell of "you baka!"

_**Character List:**_

_**Sarge – **__Toushiro, Isshin, Yoruichi, Unohana, Renji, Rukia_

_**Avril – **__Naruto, Urahara, messenger from the 2__nd__ division, Hinamori, Rukia_


	10. Just One Little Spar

**A/N: **I knooooow I promised to update this weekend … but I had to work both Saturday and Sunday so I was busy :( Here's the chappie to make amends! (pleads for mercy and bats eyes)

Chapter Ten – Just One Little Spar

Toushiro bolted down the corridor, Naruto hot on his heels, the two running for all they were worth. Even shunpo wouldn't help them now, and they knew it. There was no escape. They were coming, and nothing would stop them. _Ever_. It was impossible. They were doomed.

"Toushiro!" The boy let out a yelp as he put on an extra burst of speed upon hearing the scream from behind himself. "Toushiro, just _one_ spar!"

"Go away you crazy psycho!" he hollered over his shoulder. "I already have Kisuke after me, I don't need you!" he insisted. "And you always hug me!"

"Toushiro, just _one spar_!" Jyuushiro insisted as he and Shunsui chased the two boys.

"Run faster, Hitsu, don't slow down!" shouted Naruto, picking up speed even as he spoke. Like hell was he going to get tackled by Shunsui while Toushiro got glomped by that Ukitake man. "Ahhhh!" Naruto screamed, crashing into a broad chest - and why did that seem familiar? Thankfully, it wasn't Isshin - but even worse, it was Shunsui, the very person he was trying to avoid. "_Cheater_! You used shunpo against trainees!"

Shunsui smiled, dropped a hand onto Naruto's head and ruffled the boy's hair affectionately. "Captain."

Naruto cursed and jerked his head away. "Damn you, just wait until _I'm_ a captain."

"See ya!" Toushiro yelled over his shoulder as he used shunpo to try and escape. When he stopped to take another flash step, he immediately slammed into a giant bear hug, arms wrapping around him and practically crushing his ribcage.

"Toushiro." Jyuushiro nuzzled the top of the boy's head as he lifted him off the ground, Toushiro kicking his legs.

"We're gonna be late for class, you crazy ass captain figure people!" he hollered angrily. "It's a miracle we're still listed as being enrolled considering we spend more time with captains than in class! How are we even learning anything?"

"Because we teach you stuff." Toushiro could practically _see_ the heart at the end of Jyuushiro's sentence.

"_Liar_!"

"..." Naruto didn't even deem the captains worth talking to any more. He turned sharply on his heel and started semi-calmly walking away.

"Where do you think you're going, Naruto-kun?"

Shunsui had suddenly wrapped him in a hug from behind, crushing him backwards into his chest. Naruto squirmed as best he could. It was futile. "Curse you."

"So cute!"

Naruto felt his eye twitch as Shunsui pinched his cheek. "Get the fuck off me." He struggled more and looked over to Toushiro helplessly. "I don't wanna fight!" He swore he was near tears - frustrated tears.

"Well, neither do I."

"Then why were _you_ chasing _me_?"

"Because of Jyuu-chan and for Jyuu-chan, of course!" replied Shunsui like it was the most obvious thing.

Toushiro continued to kick his legs about as Jyuushiro brought him back closer to Naruto before letting him put his feet back on the floor. "Well, then, shall we?"

"You know, you can't _actually_ make us spar with you," Toushiro muttered, looking away annoyed. If he could move his arms, he would've crossed them.

"Oh?" Jyuushiro asked.

"Yeah. You see, this is how it is - with Kisuke and Isshin - on days where we say we don't want to spar: they attack us without mercy until we're forced to spar. But you're too nice to do that, thus, we won't be sparring."

"Hm, you have a point."

"Exactly." Toushiro nodded. "Therefore, you might as well let us go."

"I have a deal."

"Not interested."

"I will never glomp you again."

Toushiro paused, turning to look up at the captain. "Ever?"

"You have my word." Jyuushiro smiled.

"Lead the way."

"Oh no! Hitsu-teme's conceded to the enemy! The enemy, goddamnit!" Naruto whined, lashing out at Shunsui with a well-placed kick to the groin. The captain noticed in just enough time to spin Naruto around so the blond was kicking out at thin air, crushed face first into the captain's chest.

"Well, that was rather rude, Naruto-kun! We invite you to fight with us and this is how you treat me?"

"I'm _not_ fighting, and there's no way you can make me. Plus, you don't even _want_ to fight me. And I doubt Ukitake-taichou wants to fight _two_ kids, ya know?"

"But ... but ..." Shunsui floundered for a response. "Awww ... come on, Naruto-kun, just this once? Jyuu-chan won't have any problems fighting two trainees!" He laughed heartily and ruffled Naruto's hair with a wide grin on his face. "So, what do you say?"

"What do I say? I say _no_! N. O. Noooo!"

"Well, if you're going to put it that way, you're going to force me to fight." The man sighed, obviously not liking the idea. "Jyuu-chan's too nice to beat a silly kid like you to a bloody pulp. I, however, when I get in a fighting mood, have no qualms."

"But you're not in a fighting mood?" Naruto quirked an eyebrow, hopeful.

"I'm getting there." Shunsui grinned. "The one thing that can make me mad is someone denying my Jyuu-chan of something he wants, or even hurting him. Simple as that."

"Dammit! Let me go!"

"Nope, ain't happening, kiddo. Let's go!" He tugged the blond in the direction Toushiro and Jyuushiro were headed. "Oh, this going to be _fun_."

"Are you joining in the fighting, Shunsui?" Jyuushiro asked with a smile, not even having to hold Toushiro anymore since he was so eager to get this over and done with. "That's so exciting."

"We have rules," Toushiro informed.

"Eh? Rules?"

"Yeah." Toushiro turned to smirk at Naruto. "Don't kill him, idiot, we're going to need them later to get out of detentions."

"Cocky brat." Jyuushiro sniffed. "We'll show you."

"You've never seen us fight. On our first day here, we tied with Kisuke and Isshin." Toushiro saw no reason to hide it. Everyone knew that he and Naruto had defeated a bunch of Hollows a few months ago. They'd gotten quite popular with the ladies, much to Toushiro's distress. "And now, we're even better than we were back then, so don't underestimate us."

"Ah, so it was true, then," Shunsui mused, playing with Naruto's hair much to the disgruntlement of said blond. "Well, that makes me tempted to fight you even more! I suppose my skills have been getting a bit rusty lately, might be good to fight with a few brats like you." He grinned and tightened his hold on Naruto. "Where to fight, I wonder?"

"Can't ... breathe!" _This seems to happen repeatedly in the presence of this particular man. _Naruto gasped for breath, scrunching his nose up as his face was buried into the chest hair that Shunsui seemed to possess. _Stupid man and his open haori!_

"What was that, Naruto-kun?"

"Yes it was true," Toushiro stated dryly. "I think Kisuke and Isshin didn't want anyone to know because it would've wounded their pride." He paused, and then added, "By the way, you're suffocating Naruto."

Jyuushiro turned to Shunsui appalled, pointing at the boy. "Shunsui! Let him go at once! How could you be so cruel?"

"You do it to me all the time," Toushiro growled.

"I do not! Do I, Shunsui?" He turned to his friend and pouted. "I don't do that to Toushiro, do I?"

Toushiro sighed. "_I_ act more like a captain than most of these ones do... I think their captain license or whatever should be revoked..."

"I agree!" Naruto said bluntly in conjecture to Toushiro's comment._ Crazy people shouldn't have swords, too ... maybe they should take those away as well._ He pounded his fists against Shunsui's chest, still gasping for the much needed air.

"Hm?" Shunsui looked down, cocking his head to the side. "Aww ... poor Naruto-kun!" He loosened his grip and then did the unthinkable - at least to Naruto. He threw the boy over his shoulder and grinned. "And now, to my Division! I have a wonderful training center we can borrow for the afternoon. Not to mention lots of liquor!" He laughed, loud and carefree. "I need a few drinks before a promising fight. And I insist you have one, too, Jyuu-chan!"

"If you insist," the man sighed. "But Naruto and Toushiro must have some, too!"

"We're minors," Toushiro remarked.

"Well, technically not. You're how old?"

"How should I know?" Toushiro asked with a shrug. "I don't know how the age system works in Soul Society. I just look like a kid, and so does Naruto, so I'm basing our being minors on that fact."

"Ah, because you're short?"

Toushiro's eyebrow twitched. "No, because we look like kids."

"Which is _worse_ than saying you're short." Jyuushiro grinned.

"I hate captains," the boy muttered, following after Shunsui.

Naruto, meanwhile, kicked and screamed for all he was worth. "Why do I always end up slung over someone's shoulder?" he demanded, pounding furiously on Shunsui's back.

"Because you're so troublesome and difficult," Shunsui answered with a cheerful smile. "And of course they should have some sake, too." He paused, considering. "Hmm ... but taking into account their short statures, they'd probably be lightweights."

"Wanna bet?" growled out Naruto. "I can probably out drink your sorry ass."

"Haha, impossible, kid. Impossible."

"_Is not_!"

"Shut up before I make you eat your words." Shunsui slapped Naruto on the bum, the blond squeaking in protest. The captain just kept walking.

"Pervert!"

"Naruto, you're just making things harder for yourself. Concede defeat so we can all go home happy and uninjured." Toushiro sighed.

"Well said, Toushiro." Jyuushiro hugged him as they walked, then released him as they reached Shunsui's division. "Ah, brings back old memories."

"Weren't you just here, like, ten minutes ago?"

"Yes, but ten minutes ago is the past, hence, old memories." He grinned. Toushiro just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, can we please do this so Naruto and I can potentially make it to class on time?" He dropped his books on the ground and unsheathed his sword, twirling the hilt in his hand before holding it tightly in both and waiting.

"Fine, fine, just let me down," Naruto said with a sigh, slumping in pure defeat. "I really don't think our record can stand another hundred detentions."

"That's the spirit!" crowed Shunsui, putting the blond back on the ground. "Hold on a minute there, Tou-chan, just a little further and you can have your fight." He gestured for them to go around back, the four of them walking around the building itself to the training field where some Division members were sparring. "Clear out!" he ordered to his men with his usual smug smile. "Time for a real man's fight!"

The Shinigami nodded respectfully to the captain and did as told, vacating the premises.

"Now! Time for some sake!" He pulled out the extra bottle of sake he always kept tucked into his uniform and gulped down a large amount before tossing it over to Jyuushiro. "Let's get going, then, no time to waste!"

Naruto just shook his head and sighed, unsheathing his own sword and twirling it in one hand. _At least I've gotten better. Well, that's a good thing considering the final exam's in a month. _"Why are you just standing around, then? You said no time to waste, pull out your sword."

"Well, aren't _you _eager?" Shunsui smirked as he pulled out one of his swords, letting his haori fall off his shoulders. He didn't want it to get stained with any of Naruto's blood, so he figured it would be safer by the dojo itself. "I won't hold back just because you're a kid, you know."

"He's not expecting you to," Toushiro said, tapping his foot impatiently as Jyuushiro drank. "God, we're actually good fighters, why are you both getting drunk beforehand? I'm insulted."

"We just want to give you an advantage," Shunsui insisted with a smile as he pulled the front of his hat down slightly. "Wouldn't be fair for two captains to go all out."

"Isshin and Kisuke do," Toushiro reminded, still waiting.

"Trust me, those two are hiding more than you could ever known," Jyuushiro said off-handedly, pulling out his sword from its place at his side. He shrugged off his own haori and let it fall to the ground. It was hard to get blood stains out of white, after all. It had been a spot of trouble to get Toushiro's blood out of his robe last time, as it were. He dropped into a fighting stance and bowed his head to the boy. "If you will." He raised his head back up, grinning. "Let's begin."

"Wait, we haven't even set the rules!" Naruto yelled, eyes going wide. What the hell had that guy meant? More than they could ever know? Just what was he on about?

"Rules? Isshin and Kisuke set rules?" Shunsui laughed. "Why would they want to set rules? That's probably why they keep losing to the two of you. There _are_ no rules in battle, it's a win-all, lose-all situation. If you lose, well, you die - but don't worry, we're not going to be _that_ hard on you." Shunsui tapped the end of his sword gently into the ground.

"All right, we'll admit that maybe Kisuke and Isshin don't go all out on us, but they're still pretty rough. I mean, they don't like losing, so it's not like they just let us win, but they don't want to hurt us, either." He gave Naruto a pointed look before the other could say anything. "No, they _don't_ want to hurt us, Naruto. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but it's true. As stupid as they are, they still respect the fact that we're trainees."

Naruto scowled and looked up at Shunsui, glaring at the older man. "So what? People who set _rules_, set _standards_, are actually pretty smart. At least they _think_, unlike you, Kyo-raku-tai-chou," the blond stated, drawling at the name with a mocking sort of tone. He didn't like the way the captain was talking, like he already had the advantage and knew it. At least Urahara and Isshin weren't that damn smug about it. His scowl deepened when he noticed Shunsui had only taken out one of the two swords at his waist. "What, don't think you're going to need _both_ of them to beat me, you jerk?" He knew it wasn't wise to egg on an opponent, but still. Shunsui could be so infuriating sometimes; he really didn't know how the kind, gentle Jyuushiro could put _up_ with this man.

"Shunsui," Jyuushiro started softly. "Maybe we should just set some ground rules, to at least appease Naruto-kun if nothing else." He gestured the riled up blond. "Or do you really want to make him even angrier?"

"Maybe if I make him mad enough, he'll be a decent fighter." Shunsui smirked. "After all, even if he can best Isshin, we both know that I'm hundreds of years older than that idiot. I might only have to swing my sword once before Naruto-kun is on the ground." He sighed, reaching into his robes to pull out another bottle of sake. "Really, this is so tedious. Can we hurry up?"

"Please," Toushiro said dryly. "I would actually like to make it to class on time, and if you two hurry up, we might actually make it." Toushiro gripped his sword tighter with both hands, poised and ready to fight.

"Maa, maa, so anxious." Shunsui smirked at his friend's opponent. "Don't underestimate Jyuu-chan, or you'll regret it," he almost sing-songed. Toushiro just rolled his eyes.

Jyuushiro just shook his head at his friend, smiling gently as he turned his gaze to Toushiro. "I promise not to be too hard, but you have to understand ... I'm going to push you as far as you can go. I want to measure your power, and this is the only way I can." He pointed his sword at the boy. "Now, if you're ready, begin." The man wasted no time in launching his first attack.

00000

Blinking, Naruto raised his own sword and waited for Shunsui to put down the bottle of sake he held. Just how much liquor did that man have _on_ him exactly? "Well, come if your coming, Kyoraku-taichou." His determination was set. If Shunsui wanted a fight, a fight with him _angry_ and ready to kick ass, than so be it. He'd teach this man not to underestimate him. It was just plain insulting.

Shunsui continued drinking his sake, glancing at Naruto in a bored fashion. "Hm? You think I'm going to come to you? Naruto-kun, I always remind you I'm not much of a fighter unless I have to fight. So I'm going to stand right here and enjoy my sake. Once you start trying to cause me bodily harm, I'll consider actually using my sword instead of my sake bottle." He continued to drink, seeing no reason why he should concern himself with Naruto. Besides, contrary to popular belief, it took a hell of a lot to get him drunk.

Cursing at Shunsui rather loudly, Naruto darted forward with his sword still raised, blue eyes flashing with pent up anger. Maybe if he chopped him up a bit Shunsui would learn to stop being so _annoying_. First crushing him to his chest and depraving him of oxygen, then ordering him to fight when neither really _wanted_ to fight. He brought his blade crashing down, aiming for the sake bottle. "You bastard!" He used his greatly improved shunpo, thanks to Toushiro - though he hated to admit that particular bit - and appeared behind the captain, pointing his sword at the back of the man's neck. "At least _fight_ me if you want a _damn fight_!"

Shunsui wasn't in front of Naruto anymore when the blond appeared behind him. The sword was hovering in midair as the captain stood beside the blond, still drinking his sake. He leaned over, resting one arm comfortably on the blond's shoulder as he looked forward at what Naruto was aiming at.

"Ho?" he asked, suppressing a smirk. "Is that it? I actually thought you would touch me before I got away, but I didn't even feel the light graze of your sword. Isshin and Kisuke give you two way too much credit." He continued leaning against Naruto as he took another sip of sake. "Damn, this stuff is good. Want some?" He offered some to Naruto.

Eye twitching, Naruto realized he wasn't thinking too calmly. If he had, he would have thought that out better, would have considered a better course of action than what he had. He couldn't help it. Shunsui was just so damn irritating that it was hard to merely _think_ around the idiot. Maybe it was some kind of vibe the man was giving off that was making him act rashly? What was he thinking, he knew that it was purely himself guiding those movements. _Emotions clouded judgment_, he remembered Toushiro lecturing him one time when they were sparring one-on-one. _If you let your emotions control you, you're playing into the other person's hands_. Sighing, he took a breath and lowered his sword from its position in mid-air. "You're such a bastard, Shunsui." He used the man's first name to prove how truly annoyed he was.

"Ho? I couldn't say. My parents weren't really the type to talk about their pasts, but I'm pretty sure they were happily married when they conceived me." He smiled pleasantly as he pulled away from his opponent, taking another sip of sake. "Mou, I'm gonna be finished soon." He looked down the long neck of the bottle and sighed before putting it down near his haori. He reached into his robes and pulled out another. "Good thing I always come prepared. Who knows when I may run out. Always be prepared, that's my motto." He took another sip.

The scowl on the blond's face was permanently etched there by now. "Watch it, you ass. If you get drunk, you might not even be _capable_ of wielding that sword." If Shunsui wanted to play mind games, wanted to banter and rile him up, he wouldn't let the man do it. Instead, he'd play his game right back at him. See how _he_ liked it. "I bet the only reason you're _not_ fighting is because you're pathetic compared to your friend. I'm pretty sure Ukitake-taichou isn't weak, but _you_ on the other hand, I do believe you're just a dumbass."

"I see." Shunsui smiled, not rising to the other's bait. "Well then, maybe you should keep attacking me to find out. I'm not going to go out of my way to fight you. Like I said, I dislike confrontations. If it's a Hollow or the end of the world, for example, I will pick up my blade to fight. If it's just to prove a point to a bunch of brats like you and Toushiro, I'm quite content with standing here and drinking my sake." He almost sat down just then, but remembered he was 'fighting' so stayed on his feet.

Rolling his shoulders, Naruto looked up at the sky for a short moment, pretending to sigh. "Well, if you insist on just drinking that sake, I suppose I'll just have to .." He trailed off, smirked, and let his blade swing out and crack open the sake bottle in a barely there movement. "You thought I wasn't fast before? Just wait until you see me in real action, _dumbass_. I had ... a pretty good teacher." He wouldn't admit there was a smile playing at his lips when he said that last part about Toushiro. "So, what do you have to say now?" He watched the sake leak from the bottle, delighted. "And if you say drink more sake, well - I'll just have to cut _them in half_, too. Doubt you want to waste your precious liquor, now do you?" He spun his sword absently in his hand. Shunsui wasn't attacking so why should he be tense? He needed to be relax so he could read his opponent if need be. Anger and all those other emotions sometimes really did get in the way ... but he knew he could never stop feeling. It was just the type of person he was and would forever be. He felt too strongly, and that would never change even if he did.

Shunsui blinked at the sake falling onto the ground, the front of his robes also soaked through with alcohol. "That bottle was almost full," he said in a dejected voice. "I can't believe you're that mean! That was my last reserve bottle, too!" Shunsui started looking through his robes before looking down his sleeves and feeling his chest and stomach. "It really _was_ my last one! Mou." He sighed, pulling out his second sword and sighing. "Guess this is war then, Naruto-kun. Nobody messes with Kyoraku Shunsui's sake and gets away with it." He smirked. "Let's see what you've got."

00000

Toushiro was pretty good, Ukitake had to admit as he dodged the sword aimed at him again and again. But - "You're still leaving too many openings here and here, Toushiro-kun!" He smiled and moved out of the way of Toushiro's sword at the last moment. He then proceeded to demonstrate where exactly those openings were by lashing out with his own sword, stopping his blade inches from the boy's side, not wanting to slice the boy in half. "Come on, come on. Quicker! You need a faster reaction than that."

Toushiro grunted and panted as he stopped, turning to Jyuushiro with his sword raised. His shoulders shook slightly as he struggled to regain his breath, narrowing his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows angrily. Kisuke was an amazing swordsman, he knew that, but he'd never had to work this hard to just _touch_ the man. It made him wonder if Kisuke _really_ fought him as much as Toushiro thought he did. It was a little disheartening to think that all this time he and Naruto had been drawing with people who were only using one-tenth of their strength.

"Maybe if you gave me more of an incentive, I would be trying harder," Toushiro gasped out. He was already getting tired, but he didn't want to give up yet. He figured if Jyuushiro actually nicked him, like Kisuke, it would give him an idea of just how fast the other man was. All the retreating and dodging was making it hard for him to truly understand the other's speed.

"Incentive, huh?" Jyuushiro paused and tapped his chin in thought. "What would make you try harder? I thought this was your best. If you're holding back, by all means please show me your real skills." He leaned against his sword as it dug into the ground, currently idle and waiting to fight again. A coughing fit ensued, but it was a mild one. He coughed one last time and then smiled at Toushiro once more. "How about this?" He walked forward and ruffled the boy's hair playfully, letting them both have a short rest while they regained their breath. "Do you not remember our deal? Come on, Toushiro! At least nick me once so the deal seems more substantial! If not," he said, tone light and deceptively soft, "I _won't_ stop glomping you!"

Toushiro slapped the older man's hand away and held his sword with both hands again. "Don't patronize me!" he hollered. "I always get underestimated! Sure, I may not be Urahara Kisuke or Ukitake Jyuushiro, but I'm still a good fighter! Hitsugaya Toushiro will _not_ lose to anyone if it's important enough! This is just a spar, but in a _real_ battle, I can still excel." He narrowed his eyes. "Or have you forgotten about the Hollow fight?"

He used that conversation to distract Jyuushiro. Toushiro was never brash and loud unless he had a plan, but he didn't expect anyone else to know that. It was his own little secret. While Jyuushiro was focusing on him because he was talking, Toushiro was calculating his next move, predicting what kind of counter the captain would have based on his many moves. Once he was confident, he finished his sentence and used flash step to appear behind Jyuushiro, expecting the other to disappear and appear either behind him, or to his left.

He could only hope he was right.

Jyuushiro shook his head, appearing directly behind Toushiro. "Well, that was foolish. Were you trying to distract me or something? And of course I remember that Hollow fight, how could I forget about that?" His sword was out in front of him, raised in a defensive stance. The 13th Division was pretty good at defensive tactics, but maybe he should consider giving Toushiro a taste of his offensive skills.

Toushiro smirked. Jyuushiro had done exactly as he predicted. He was sort of hoping the other would have appeared on his left, but this could work, too. Using shunpo, he quickly spun under the sword aimed at his back and swung his own, the tip of his blade just barely connecting with the sleeve of the captain's Shinigami uniform. He let out a frustrated grunt at the older man's speed, but as long as he could keep calculating the man's moves and shift accordingly, he would be able to turn this battle around to a point where at least Jyuushiro had to be on his toes. He'd almost gotten the captain just there, and he was pretty sure even Jyuushiro wouldn't be able to insist it had been on purpose. The captain was surprised, and Toushiro didn't care what lies he came up with.

"Good job, Toushiro-kun!" Jyuushiro's smile only widened at the attack, the boy was finally starting to get into the fight. _Resourceful, too_, he noted, considering what the little white haired child had almost pulled off. Going against a fully-fledged captain was always tough, though. He remembered training with Yamamoto those long years ago. The man had never once gone easy on them. He straightened his stance and gestured for them to continue. "Good job, indeed. Now, let's try something a bit different? We're going to go at each with shunpo. I'll adjust my speed to match yours and then we can see how long we both hold up." He grinned. It had been too long since his last good fight. Shunsui always refused to fight him; that man had a coddling problem. And he was a bit too overprotective sometimes. "Might as well make this interesting, right?"

"Hn," Toushiro grunted. "I'll have you know, I've trained with Yoruichi. I'm not saying I'll ever be as good as her, but you might not want to underestimate me in that area of battle." He tightened his grip on his sword. "So how are we doing this? We charge at flash speed, collide swords and jerk away? Or are you actually going to take me seriously this time and try and hit me?" Toushiro wasn't going to admit this was the hardest fight he'd ever had, but after the injuries he'd gotten during the Hollow fight, he knew he could withstand a hell of a lot of pain. He wished Jyuushiro would just attack him as if they were enemies.

"I'm not underestimating you, Toushiro-kun. This is supposed to be a test, like I told you from the very start. I'm just measuring your skill. I don't really want to hurt you or anything. I very rarely want to hurt anyone. I'd need a very good reason to attack you. If you give me one - well, then, I'd consider seriously hurting you." He shook his head. "But I doubt you will."

Toushiro growled, thinking things over in his head. He thought about Jyuushiro and his actions. His personality and his habits. Just as he thought he'd never figure it out, something clicked, and he smiled slightly.

"Oh? You're not underestimating me? I think you are. I think you're too used to fighting trash like Shunsui that you can't even figure out how to deal with someone of my level. I mean, look at him." Toushiro glanced at Shunsui briefly before looking back at his own opponent. "Drunk off his rocker most of the time, and he can't even hold a sword straight. That, and he wears a pink haori over his captain's robes. The idiot doesn't even take his responsibilities seriously." He smirked.

Jyuushiro's smile slowly disappeared as Toushiro went on. "Toushiro-kun, please, that isn't very nice. He is a captain, and you should give him the proper respect. You shouldn't insult him like that." He had tensed, his grip on his sword tightening to the point where he knew his hands would be raw. He hated it when people insulted his friends, people he respected and admired even if they did have their flaws. "Please don't continue saying such things." His guard changed from its casual position to a more standoffish, ready-to-fight kind of stance. He hadn't known Toushiro was the type to so carelessly cut someone down.

"He may he a captain, but he's still worthless." Toushiro smirked. "I expect Naruto to beat him in five minutes. Six, tops. The guy's an absolute idiot. I don't even know how someone of your stature can stand to be around him as much as you are. Aren't you afraid his stupidity will rub off on you?"

Toushiro felt bad insulting Shunsui, especially since he knew what the captain was capable of. He'd seen the man fight before, he knew Shunsui was amazing, but if it was the only way to anger Jyuushiro enough for him to fight seriously, he would do it. _I just hope he realizes I was trying to rile him up before he chops off my head, _the boy thought nervously as he noticed the tense posture of the captain in front of him.

"I told you," a soft, angered voice came from behind Toushiro, blade pointed at the boy's throat, "not to insult him in my presence." His hands were shaking slightly from how tightly he was gripping it, but he paid it no mind as his face hardened, his whole being radiating anger. He had _warned_ the boy, and now he wouldn't be held accountable for his actions. "Don't you _dare_ belittle that man when speaking to me."

Toushiro had to admit, he was expecting that move, but it had happened sooner than anticipated. He used shunpo to get away, the blade slicing into his neck slightly. He winced, but it was bearable. He turned to face off with the captain, noting the other's posture had changed entirely. He felt sweat beading on his forehead. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea.

00000

Naruto panted, flash-stepping in time to get out of the way of Shunsui's twin blades. _Damn, maybe I shouldn't have ruined his sake ... Man, he moves pretty well for a guy who just drunk two bottles of sake in one go_. He winced as he realized Shunsui had anticipated his usage of shunpo and had done the same to make sure he had caught up with the blond; there was now a deep gash on his arm, the wound bleeding freely. He cursed under his breath and brought up his sword to block the other blade from connecting with his _other_ arm. _He's definitely good ... damn. Maybe I underestimated him._

"What's the matter?" Shunsui smiled as he twisted his blade around Naruto's block and nicked him in the hand. "All of a sudden, you're moving much slower than you were before. Maybe the sake's out of my system already. I never could stay drunk for long." Shunsui was still hoping Naruto would give up or something so he could go get another bottle of sake. This whole fighting thing was so tedious. _Why couldn't Jyuu-chan just fight them both himself?_ he thought with a sigh. He didn't really want to be fighting, he'd much rather have been playing Go with Yoruichi or something.

Instead of replying, Naruto jumped back, putting distance between them as he flash-stepped backwards at least three times. He caught his breath, chanced a glance over at Toushiro's fight, and balked at what he saw. _Why the hell is Hitsu yelling at a captain? He's not the type to ... _Well, whatever the other boy was saying, it was seriously riling up Ukitake far more than anything he had used to provoke Shunsui.

"Don't get distracted." Shunsui swung his sword, metal hitting metal, and then twisted his wrist. The action caused Naruto's grip to loosen on his sword and he threw it across the clearing, the blade slamming into the ground. He aimed one sword at the blond's neck and held the other over his shoulder, smiling. "Is that all? I could've had a third bottle of sake." He was a little disappointed. Just how easy were Isshin and Kisuke going on these two for them to draw. It was a little pathetic, actually.

"You're too close," Naruto hissed, paying no mind to the blade at his throat as he raised a hand and pointed it at Shunsui. "Hadou # 4, Byakurai!" A bolt of lightning shot from his index finger and blasted its path toward Shunsui chest with all due haste. "Take that, you bastard!"

Shunsui leapt back, just barely avoiding the lightning as it singed the front of his robes and burned away at the top layer. He stared down at the damage done, confused. How had that happened? He had seen the blond perform Kidou numerous times in class and, to be honest, he sucked at it. Shunsui didn't understand how this had happened.

_Must be one of those things Urahara and Kurosaki have been hiding from us._ He stood with his swords poised again, waiting for Naruto to retrieve his own. _Either way, they're not as amazing as the other two captains lead me to believe._

Smirking, Naruto made no move to retrieve his sword right away. "You look kind of bored. Why don't I show you how well I can use Kidou when at full power? My sword work, I admit, needs a little work." He positioned out his hands, readying another attack. The familiar wave of reiatsu that had washed over him when he'd lost his sword was getting to be a common occurrence, and he was slowly getting use to handling and maintaining his reiatsu. Well, at least he didn't faint unexpectedly anymore. "Hadou # 5, Enmamoui!" A long trail of flames fired from the palm of his extended hand in hopes of making a fiery circle around Shunsui and trapping him in place. He followed up with another round of white lightning, moving all the while lest Shunsui make his own assault on his person.

Shunsui would admit, he was impressed, but this was hardly anything to concern him. He swished one sword towards the fire while the other swung towards the lightning, blocking both from hitting him before they extinguished. He calmly stood with both hands at his sides again, gripping his swords. This was utterly ridiculous. The only amazing thing about Naruto appeared to be his high reiatsu, and the only thing remarkable about Toushiro was his mastery of shunpo and his sword skills. Nothing else about these two was striking him as utterly amazing.

_He's still got that look on his face ... like he's not at all impressed._ Naruto scowled. _Damn it, I'm still learning here! At least give me some credit for trying_, the blond thought furiously, tempted to tell the man exactly that. Instead, he settled for trying to keep up with Shunsui. He fired one Kidou spell after another, never stopping. _At least __**one **__has got to hit his sorry ass._

Shunsui dodged the attacks easily, watching Naruto as he struggled to continue. Honestly, he probably would've been more impressed if Kisuke and Isshin hadn't mentioned the draw. He suspected that was why he was so disappointed. He had been expecting these amazing warriors, and ended up with little kids playing with swords. It was sad, to be honest. He sighed, shaking his head.

Trying to catch his breath, Naruto paused momentarily. His reiatsu was strong and everything, but if he kept using it like he was ... at this rate, he definitely wasn't going to win. He needed a new plan, and fast. A head-on assault was the first thing that popped into his mind. Eyes gleaming with renewed vigor, he charged at Shunsui with a battle cry to rival all battle cries. Unexpectedly, he used shunpo to get behind Shunsui and then leaped at the man's hand, biting furiously into the arm. He then kicked out, hitting the man in the privates as he did so.

Shunsui's eyes widened at the action Naruto had taken, and he barely managed to avoid the blow to his groin, sweat trickling down the side of his face as he realized how close it had come. _I __**so **__need more sake to put up with this_, he thought, annoyed, as he swung his other sword at Naruto to make the boy let go of his hand. He was going to let go, or lose his hand. Shunsui was finished with this child's play.

Letting go, Naruto backed up just in time to avoid losing his hand. He growled and circled Shunsui, waiting for whatever the captain had planned. This fight was getting him no where. Hell, he hadn't even _want_ to fight in the first place. Neither of them had. Then why, oh _why_ did the captain have to insist they fight? Scowl deepening, he shouted, "Let's finish this, I got class in five!"

00000

Toushiro cried out as he flew off his feet, an explosion having gone off behind him He groaned, struggling back to his feet and turning, his sword raised as he panted. He was hurt in places he didn't even know existed, and he'd never been so tired in his entire life. He realized that insulting Shunsui was a bad idea, because Jyuushiro had been beating the shit out of him ever since he'd started attacking again.

_Note to self, __**never**__ insult Shunsui... __**ever**_ He dodged another blow, grunting as he spun and used his sword to block the captain's attack, his arm shaking. This was definitely _not_ how he'd been planning on having this fight go. _Maybe I should apologize? Tell him I didn't mean it? Concede defeat? I might not last if I don't..._

Jyuushiro's eyes were narrowed as he concentrated on firing off another demon art spell, using that as yet another distraction to get inside Toushiro's defense. His sword scratched at the boy's shoulder, barely a nick as Toushiro brought up his sword to block the attack. He could feel Toushiro's arms shaking once more as the boy held fast onto his sword. It hardly registered in his mind that he might be going a bit too hard on the boy … that maybe Toushiro couldn't hold up against his furious assaults. But he was too angered, too insulted ... he couldn't stop. He would stand up for his friend's honor.

_No one_ so carelessly degraded his friends in his presence. He would not stand for such rudeness. Shunpo, after shunpo, Jyuushiro was far from finished with the boy. His only thoughts were on teaching Toushiro some respect for those older and far wiser. To so easily disgrace Shunsui, Jyuushiro would never stand for it. His friends were his friends. They did not deserve such foul treatment from those who scarcely knew them.

Toushiro tripped on something and fell onto his backside, letting out a shout as he held his sword out at the last second to block a blow. _He's really going to kill me! I would be __**dead**__ by now if I didn't have these reflexes!_ He didn't know anymore if it was blood or sweat falling freely down the side of his face. His robes were dirty, covered in blood, and full of tears. His face had so many nicks and scratches he could barely count them all, while his hands and arms didn't look any better. He wondered if Jyuushiro even knew what was going on anymore. Did he remember this was just a spar? Did he honestly think Toushiro was _serious_?

"Ukitake-taichou," he exclaimed as he rolled away, getting unsteadily back to his feet. He had to stop this before Jyuushiro _actually_ killed him. "I didn't mean anything I said! I was just trying to rile you up." He screamed again as he blocked another blow. "I didn't mean it!"

Before anything else could happen, Jyuushiro collapsed onto the ground in a violent coughing fit, his whole body shaking. He dropped his sword, bringing his hand to his mouth in hopes of muffling the severity of the cough. Blood splattered his palm, hair falling into his face as he continued to cough without pause. He couldn't stop, and he could barely breathe. White hair quickly became soaked with red; just as much as his hand, if not more so. He closed his eyes, the cough continuing to demand his attention.

Toushiro just stared, eyes wide. He hadn't touched him, he didn't understand what had just happened. "Ukitake-taichou?" He knew this wasn't a trick; no one could do something that severe. He dropped his sword and ran to Jyuushiro's side. "Ukitake-taichou! Kyoraku-taichou!" he yelled over at Shunsui as he grabbed Jyuushiro's shoulder to stop him from slumping forward. "Kyoraku-taichou, something's wrong!"

Shunsui turned away from Naruto for a second to see why his name was being called, and his eyes widened. He disappeared from the spot he'd just been standing in, appearing beside Jyuushiro and bending down beside him as he grabbed his other shoulder, his eyes wide and panicked.

Wheezing, Naruto had his hands on his knees. He blinked when he realized Shunsui had disappeared. And ... hadn't that been Toushiro calling for the captain? He looked over to where his friend and the white haired Jyuushiro were, surprised to see Toushiro and Shunsui in a slight panic over the other captain. Just what was going on? Heading over there at a more subdued pace, he stopped in his tracks when he noticed Jyuushiro was coughing up blood. "Wh - What happened?" he asked, eyes wide.

Shunsui was still fretting over his friend when the blond arrived, demanding to know what had happened. _He overworked himself, I know he did! Dammit! He never listens!_ Turning to Toushiro with a livid expression on his face, he inquired in a dead serious voice, "What did you do?" His anxiety over his friend and the sake he had had earlier weren't helping matters much, not to mention he was already disappointed and irate from his fight with Naruto. To calm himself, he kept rubbing small circles on his friend's back, hoping to ease the horrible cough Jyuushiro was experiencing, mumbling a soft "It's okay" very few minutes.

"I - I didn't do anything!" Toushiro insisted, absolutely horrified. Was this his fault? Was it because he'd made Jyuushiro so angry? "I - we just fought. I tried to make him angry, so I insulted you - I didn't mean anything I said, honest! I just wanted to get him a little mad so he would take me more seriously. He just - he snapped. I mean, look at me!"

Toushiro motioned himself; all his cuts and bruises. "I didn't mean to rile him up so much, I didn't - I didn't know he was sick!"

Jyuushiro was listening to the young boy's words as his coughing diminished slightly. He wiped the back of his blood-covered hand across his mouth, any stray blood being wiped away. His other hand was against his chest as he struggled to breathe normally again. He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly before opening them again and straightening.

"I'm fine, Shunsui," he whispered. "I just over-worked myself. I'm all right." He put his blood-covered hand on the ground and pushed himself back to his feet with a grunt.

"The _hell_ you're okay!" Shunsui scolded, helping his friend stand nonetheless. "Look at you, you're shaking all over. You need to lie down. I _knew_ this was going to be a bad idea. I mean we were inspired to do this by _Kisuke_ and _Isshin_, for crying out-loud. It's just like spelling trouble. Dammit, I'm getting you back to your Division and then I'm calling Unohana for a house call immediately." Sighing, Shunsui wrapped an arm around Jyuushiro's waist, throwing one of the white haired man's own arms across his shoulders. He then gave Toushiro a look, clearly not amused. "And, Toushiro-kun, the one thing you must understand about Shinigami ... we all have something we want to protect. For Jyuushiro and me, that would be our close friends and people we care about. To insult them ... that's just like pointing a sword at an unarmed man. It's disgraceful and never worth it. Think before you speak next time, do you understand me?"

Naruto could only blink, completely left out of the loop. _Looks like Ukitake did quite a number on Hitsu_. He rubbed at the back of his neck, wincing at the motion. _And Shunsui did quite a number on me as well._

"H – Hai," Toushiro said, feeling guilty. This was all his fault? He hadn't known Jyuushiro was sick, he hadn't meant it! "I'm really, really sorry. Is he going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine," Jyuushiro insisted, forcing a smile as he looked over his shoulder. He paused, and then nodded to the boy. "You did well, Toushiro." He then faced forward again, allowing Shunsui to help him walk away, a small smile on his face. "You know, he understands our bond more than you think, Shunsui," he said to his friend. "You didn't have to be so hard on him."

"I know, I know," Shunsui said with a roll of his eyes, tightening his hold on his friend to keep him from shaking so much with suppressed coughs. "But still, I was worried for your sake, and you're going to scold _me_?" He laughed a little. "Come on, let's get you tucked into bed and I'll make you something warm to sooth that cough." _Toushiro may understand ... but has he realized who he shares it with yet?_

Naruto watched the two captains walk away, silent and watchful for once. "Well ... what was all that about?" he asked, coming to stand beside Toushiro. "Are you okay?" He added the last part quickly, noting the worn out expression on the other boy's face. "Come on, we should try and make it to class, we have about three minutes left."

Toushiro nodded, getting back to his feet and clutching his side. He had a stitch there for all the moving he'd had to do. "Man, that was a workout. Makes you wonder if Isshin and Kisuke actually fight us for real, doesn't it?" He turned to Naruto with a sheepish smile as he went to his sword, bent down, and replaced it in its sheath. "We got our asses handed to us." Toushiro was disappointed with himself. Sure, he'd lasted the assaults and hadn't died, but he was still disappointed that he hadn't been able to strike back.

Kicking at the ground, Naruto had to agree. They hadn't been able to hold up against Shunsui and Jyuushiro as he had expected. Maybe Isshin and Kisuke weren't being as truthful with their powers as they had been led to believe. "Yeah ... we did," was all he could say, an exhausted edge to his voice. He collected his own sword a fair distance away and then walked back over to Toushiro, eyeing the discarded captain attire that Shunsui and Jyuushiro hadn't bother to take with them, along with a few bottles of sake and Shunsui's ever present straw hat. "Should we ... I don't know ... take that stuff with us and return it later?"

"Good idea." Toushiro smiled as he headed for Jyuushiro's attire before freezing in his steps. He felt an odd tingle run up his spine, and frowned, wondering what that could possibly be. Turning, he scanned the area, confused. What had that just been?

As if in answer to his silent question, someone appeared behind him and hugged him tightly. He let out a cry of shock before crying out in pain. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" he hollered, kicking his legs out as he was lifted off the ground.

"I've been looking _everywhere_ for you, Whitey-chan! I wanted to spar with you before Kisuke showed up."

"My, my, now that's not fair, Isshin," drawled a lazy voice from behind Naruto. "And, oh my, why are you kids so beat up?"

Naruto shrieked and dropped the bottle he had been picking up, the glass busting and sake flying everywhere. "Urahara, stop doing that!" He cursed the heavens for the fate they had bestowed him. Stupid Urahara and his stupid timing. He didn't even want to get _started_ with Isshin and _his_ stupid.

"Why isn't it fair? You always cheat." Isshin pouted. "Stealing my Whitey-chan for yourself. I can't believe you! Now, Whitey-chan – Let's spar!"

Toushiro only slumped in defeat in Isshin's arms, forcing back tears. They were never going to make it to any of their classes on time. _What did I ever do to deserve this?_

**Character Lists:**

_Sarge – Toushiro, Isshin, Ukitake (Shunsui during the fight)_

_Avril – Naruto, Urahara, Shunsui (Ukitake during the fight)_


	11. Righting Wrongs

Chapter Eleven - Righting Wrongs

"Jyuu-chan!" whined Shunsui, holding out a spoonful of some nasty concoction that looked as if it were steaming. "Come now, take your medicine!" He inched it closer to the other captain's mouth, trying and failing to get Jyuushiro to take the medicine that Unohana had left after she had made the "house call". She had given him specific instructions to give the stubborn man a dosage every hour on the hour. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. "_Please_, Jyuu-chan! Just _cooperate_!"

Jyuushiro twisted and turned, dodging every attempt the other man was making at getting the stuff into his mouth. More of it had fallen onto his bedspread than actually getting inside his mouth, and he was planning on keeping it that way. His lips remained tightly closed as he pushed against Shunsui's face with both hands, the other captain's outstretched arm aiming the spoon towards his closed mouth.

"Jyuu-chan!" Shunsui shouted, annoyed. "Just take the damn stuff already! It smells!" He made a gagging sound in the back of his throat. "Please, before I decide to puke on you, take it! Don't make me threaten you!" His voice came out slightly muffled due to the fact Jyuushiro kept pushing at his face like an insolent kid who didn't want to take his medicine. No, correction. Jyuushiro was _worse_ than a little kid when it came to taking medicine. "Gah, I give up. Die for all I care."

He arrogantly pivoted on his heel and stomped off to the opposite side of the room, slamming down the spoon beside the medicine bottle. The medicine, thankfully, did not tip over and spill everywhere. He would try again in a few minutes, of course; he just needed a break. Running a hand through his straggly hair, having let it out of the usual tight ponytail since he didn't very well have his hat to pull off the look, he sighed and turned to give Jyuushiro a put out glare. "Sometimes I just don't know _what_ I'm going to do with you." He put his hands on his hips, looking for the entire world like an angry parent scolding a child.

And that's when the knock came.

Pleased with the subject change, Jyuushiro turned to the door, letting the visitors know they could enter. There was a long pause before his door was slid open and Toushiro's head poked in, the boy looking rather guilty, his eyes locked on the floor in front of him.

Jyuushiro's face broke out into a large smile as he threw his arms open wide, but didn't stand from the bed. "Toushiro! How good of you to visit! Come in, come in!" He motioned the boy in, looking for all to see like a child who'd just received a wonderful Christmas present. "Come, come; don't be shy. Sit down, and - " He was cut off as a spoon was shoved into his mouth, his face distorting into one of absolute disgust as the liquid flowed down his throat. _Dammit! I let my guard down!_

"Aha!" Shunsui smirked, rather proud at his victory. "Now, be a good boy and relax." He patted his friend's head just to add insult to injury, still beaming because he had gotten one over on Jyuushiro. He turned to Toushiro, ruffling the boy's hair in turn. "Thank you, of course. Couldn't have done it without you, my boy!" He spotted Naruto a second later, entering a bit warily after the other boy, and his smirk only widened. "Why, welcome, Naruto-kun!"

"Er ... ohayo?" Naruto really didn't know what to say. He shifted the stuff in his arms and looked down, a frown tugging at his lips. "We ... thought we'd just drop by."

"We brought your stuff back," Toushiro added, motioning the captain's haori tucked under his arm. Naruto had Shunsui's pink haori, as well as his captain haori and the man's straw hat. The sake had broken when Isshin and Kisuke had shown up, and they'd contemplated buying another bottle but they didn't exactly have money to spare.

"Oh, thank you. Yamamoto-sensei would have killed me if I had to ask for a new one." Jyuushiro smiled, disgust still lingering in his eyes due to the medicine, and held out one hand. Toushiro walked forward and handed it to the captain, the man placing it beside him before patting on the tatami mat near his bed. "Sit. Let's chat."

The white-haired boy sat down rather awkwardly, avoiding Jyuushiro's eyes as he clenched his fists, feeling terrible for what had happened. The captain noticed the dejected posture, but said nothing for the moment.

Naruto silently handed Shunsui his things, the man accepting them with mild amusement.

"Why so quiet, Naruto-kun? Do you think I'm angry or something?"

The boy flinched; the tone sounded mocking even if Shunsui hadn't meant it to be.

Sighing, the captain offered Naruto a seat as well. "All right, both of you sit down. We need to have a little talk. Plus, those looks on your faces are bringing me down. Just when I succeeded in winning a victory against Jyuushiro!" He shook his head and leaned against the wall, waiting for the kids to be seated.

"Are you upset about losing yesterday?" Jyuushiro asked, watching Toushiro's face closely. "It was a good try, I was still impressed. I was just expecting a little more, is all." He smiled reassuringly. "But with the proper training, the two of you will become great captains." He turned to smile at Naruto.

"I'm sorry." Jyuushiro turned back to Toushiro, the boy looking up briefly before averting his gaze again. "I'm sorry I made you sick."

"You didn't make me sick." Jyuushiro laughed good-naturedly. "I was already sick. It's my own fault for not having seen through your trick and working myself up like that. I should have known you were just trying to rile me up, that was my own fault." He smiled apologetically, as well. "I'm sorry if I injured you, I really wasn't myself."

Naruto stood awkwardly off to the side, a frown tugging at his lips as he looked to floor in hopes of not catching Shunsui's attention. The last thing he needed was Shunsui criticizing him again.

The flamboyant captain left the boy alone for the moment and turned his attention to Toushiro. "Don't worry so much, kiddo. Jyuu here has been sick ever since we were kids. Isn't that right, Jyuu-chan?" He smirked, still happy over his victory (aka, getting Jyuushiro to take his ... _horrible_ ... medicine).

"At least I'm not a drunk." Jyuushiro smiled at Shunsui. "I'd rather be sick than be like you." He snickered slightly, then reached out and ruffled Toushiro's hair. The boy winced slightly, but allowed the action. "You _are_ all right, though, right? I would feel terrible if I'd injured you so badly over a trick."

"I'm fine," Toushiro whispered. "It's nothing I can't handle. The Hollow battle was a lot worse." His eyes then widened. "Not that you're weaker than a Hollow or anything, I was just - "

"Calm down." Jyuushiro laughed slightly. "You're adorable when you're flustered, but I know what you meant, so don't get so worried." He turned to Shunsui. "Ne, Shunsui? These two worry way too much. Must be because Isshin and Urahara are always chasing after them."

Laughing slightly himself, Shunsui had to agree. Naruto and Toushiro did seem rather down, but that was to be expected. The fights hadn't even been finished and they both realized who would have won. Sighing, he didn't know what to do to get Naruto to even look at him. Maybe riling the blond up would work? "That could be it, my friend. What do you think they did to poor Naru-kun here? He's not as lively and spunky and adorable as usual!" He sounded dejected at the very thought. Of course he'd been disappointed about the fighting level, but that was to be expected ... he hadn't meant to crush the blond. Hell, he didn't even know his opinion had meant so much to the boy. "Cheer up, blondie!"

Naruto twitched, but shockingly didn't rise to the bait, muttering a short, "Whatever" under his breath.

Toushiro glanced at Naruto, and then looked back down at his hands, which were gripping the front of his hamaka. He really did miss the loud and brash Naruto, but right now, that wasn't what they were here for. _Naruto won't ask, so... I might as well..._

"Um, taichou." Toushiro swallowed hard. "We were both wondering if the two of you would be willing to teach us how to improve our fighting skills. We're already top of our classes right now, so we don't learn much in them. The teachers have to go slower because of everyone else, so Naruto and I usually get bored and practice shunpo. Could you … maybe teach us some techniques?"

Jyuushiro stared at Toushiro, who was still avoiding his gaze, and then turned to look at Shunsui. It was a bit early to be teaching them such advanced things. They already knew more than most low-ranking Shinigami. He silently asked Shunsui what he thought of the idea. Should they wait, or start soon?

Rolling his eyes - Jyuu _always_ gave him that look when he wanted an answer - Shunsui mused over the situation, wondering exactly what his friend was thinking. He considered how well the two were doing, but that still didn't mean they were ready to learn what two high-ranking Shinigami had to offer. And they're training course ... it was nothing like the little kiddy spars that Isshin and Urahara were putting the two through. He scowled mentally just thinking about it. How dare those two tease children with false fights. Needless to say, Shunsui wasn't too thrilled about the fact that two of his captain friends were using innocent kids for pure entertainment. "Well, I think we should wait," he said, directing his response to Jyuushiro. "I ... just don't think they're ready."

Naruto tensed again. _Just like I thought, they do think little of us._

"But it's not for the reasons you think," Shunsui continued, looking over at Naruto with a raised eyebrow, taking in the boy's taunt posture. "As strong as you two are becoming, you're still learning. And our training would just get in the way of that learning. Come to us in a few years once you're finally Shinigami. Then we'll talk."

"Right," Toushiro whispered. Jyuushiro felt bad, seeing the dejected looks on both Naruto and Toushiro's faces, but it really was for the best.

"You both have a tremendous amount of potential, but we can't rush you. You're still just kids, whether you like it or not. We'll see how you do on your exams, and then we'll decide." He looked over at Shunsui with a slight shrug and weak smile. He just wanted to give them a bit more hope. They wouldn't be Shinigami for a while yet, so to at least give them something to look forward to would be nice.

"Well, we should go." Toushiro stood. "As you said, we have our exams soon. Yoruichi-san said she would help us get ready for some of them, so we shouldn't keep her waiting."

"Oh, please don't. She gets grouchy, and then she'll come after us because we're the reason she had to wait." Jyuushiro laughed. "But good luck. And you both really are very talented. Just give it time." He smiled.

00000

Toushiro bit his thumbnail angrily as he paced back and forth inside his room, casting glances every now and then towards Naruto's bed, before his anger intensified and he forced himself to look away. His feet were practically stomping on the ground as he moved, his thumb almost at bleeding point from biting so far into the wick.

_Stupid, irresponsible dumbass! I should murder him! I can't believe his carelessness!_ Toushiro never remembered being this angry before, but he had good reason this time. He was so mad he wanted to kill something. He was ready to go out and look for the asshole right now, but he knew he couldn't leave the room. He only hoped Yoruichi had found him by now and beaten the shit out of him.

Naruto, lying helplessly on the bed, could only watch his friend pace back and forth, becoming increasingly more worried for Toushiro's thumb nail. "Er, Hitsu, calm down. I told you, and keep telling you, I'm fine." Never mind the bandages wrapped around his left arm and half his chest because of the wound he had sustained. "Just ... calm down." He was afraid the boy was going to crack soon, if he kept up that pacing. And then break the promise he'd forced Toushiro to make about not killing idiots. He sighed, looking at Toushiro expectantly. "Tell me you're not going to go do something stupid."

"Stupid is your forte," Toushiro snapped. "Mine is intelligence, so I plan on doing something intelligent." His eyes narrowed at the wall as he paced, then turned and narrowed at the other wall. He was surprised he hadn't lit them on fire yet, not that he was trying to. Well, maybe just a little bit. "I can't believe that _idiot_!" he shouted, slamming his first into the wall when he reached it and then growling, cradling his hand to his chest, pain shooting up his arm. "Isshin is _such_ an _idiot_! I hope Yoruichi finds him and kills him! I can't believe he did that! You could've fucking _died_!" Toushiro was furious, which was the only reason the panic from thinking about a life without Naruto was easily ignored. Naruto was an idiot, but he'd be lying if he said he wouldn't miss the blond. He couldn't imagine going through the academy without him.

A bit scared, Naruto tried to sink deeper into the bed, wondering why his friend was getting so worked up. He wasn't _that_ important to the other boy, was he? Blinking, Naruto realized with a start he would be doing the same thing Toushiro was doing if the roles were reversed. When had they ... become so dependent on each other? "Hitsu, you don't really mean that, you're just ... angry. I mean, come on, you saw what she did to Urahara-san!" He stopped, chuckling. "Well, okay, maybe that bastard deserved what he got. But still. Isshin said he was sorry ... multiple times at the hospital. It was just what Isshin says it was! An accident."

"I don't care!" Toushiro shouted, rounding on Naruto and practically exploding with anger. "We're just trainees! We were almost killed by Shunsui and Jyuushiro when they weren't even _trying_! Isshin should've known better than to go into shikai! I can't _believe_ he released his sword! Even Urahara looked pissed off at him! You may be amazing, but you're not _perfect_! You're still training!"

Toushiro leaned back against the wall, sank to the ground, and buried his face in his hands, trying to calm down. He was so mad that he was shaking. He couldn't believe it. Even when Jyuushiro had been angry, he hadn't done anything to truly injure him. Isshin was just messing around and he'd practically torn Naruto apart!

Naruto watched his friend sink to the floor, shocked that the boy was shaking. _From ... rage?_ All right, maybe Toushiro was taking things too far. It _was_ an accident, after all. Or that's what he kept telling himself. Toushiro did have a point about the Isshin being an idiot, though. "Come on, Hitsu, I'll be better in no time, just you watch." He made to sit up in bed, but winced rather painfully when the wounds reopened. He clenched his teeth, hissing out as the pain only increased. _Dammit, bad idea._

Toushiro's head shot up. "Naruto no baka!" he hollered, jumping to his feet and running to his friend's side, grabbing the blond's good shoulder and pushing him back down. "Unohana-taichou told you not to move! Can't you ever listen?!" His eyes strayed to the stain starting to form on the bandages and his mind almost went into panic mode. "I have to get a medic, you wait here and _don't move_!" he growled. He rushed towards the door, opening it before pausing. Leaving Naruto alone might be a bad idea, so he ran next door, leaving their door open, and banged on their neighbor's door, hoping Renji or Kira was home.

A familiar young man came running around the corner with speed, tripping and stumbling over himself so he ended up sprawled out on the floor. He quickly picked himself up and spotted Toushiro standing in the hallway, squeaking and hurrying over to the boy. "Hitsugaya-kun! You should be keeping an eye on Uzumaki-kun! You know how he is!" His eyes had gone wide, wondering if the blond was all right.

"Oh, thank kami!" Toushiro left his post at Renji and Kira's door just as it opened and a disgruntled Renji poked his head out. Toushiro ignored him, grabbing Hanatarou's wrist and dragging him into his and Naruto's room. "The idiot reopened his wounds." He motioned the blond. "I was going to ask someone to go get someone from the fourth division, but you showed up, which is just convenient." He then frowned as he released the Shinigami and watched him walk towards Naruto. "Come to think of it, why _are_ you here?"

"I'm right _here_, you know," Naruto ground out, pressing his unwounded arm onto his chest to try and stop the pain momentarily. "If you're gonna call me an idiot at least _direct_ the comment to me, teme."

Hanatarou laughed a little, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck as he continued to approach the injured boy's side. "Well, I came on Unohana-taichou's orders, she said she wanted someone here in case something happened. Like ... you're friend reopening his wounds. Which seems to have happened." He gently pushed Naruto's arm off his chest and started undoing the bandages. "Would you like me to teach you how to do this in case you need to later? Well, if I'm not here or anything." His question was aimed at the young boy standing off to the side, watching the medic work his magic. "It's not really hard."

"_Ouch_!" Naruto shouted when the young medic touched a particularly tender spot. "Watch it!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

Toushiro ran back to Naruto's side, looking over Hanatarou's shoulder and then going slightly green. It looked disgusting. Isshin was going to pay for this.

"Sure. That would be really great. That way I won't have to bother people in the middle of the night when Naruto decides to be an idiot." He then paused. "Oh, sorry. I forgot. Naruto, you're an idiot." He smirked slightly.

Naruto winced again as Hanatarou started redoing the bandages, having to rely on Toushiro to help him left his body so the medic could wrap them all the way across his chest. It was a rather big wound, after all. Not to mention it hurt like hell ... not that he was complaining or anything.

"All done," commented Hanatarou lightly, wiping off his blood stained hands on his black uniform and putting his medic kit back where it belonged. "Sorry about the intrusion and everything," he started bashfully, "but I'll be staying with you until nightfall each day until the wounds are healed. I hope that's not any trouble?"

"I have no objections. Neither does Naruto." The white-haired boy shot Naruto his most threatening and frightening glare ever to ensure he didn't say anything contradictory. "I'm glad you'll be staying, it makes me feel a little better." Toushiro fell back onto his bed with a sigh, staring at his ceiling. "Ne, Hanatarou? You just recently became a Shinigami, right? I mean, you were pretty nervous during that Hollow fight a few months back, so you can't have been one for long, right?"

"No, not really. I just came out of the Academy actually." The young man nervously played with the edges of his uniform, glancing over at Naruto every once and a while to make sure he hadn't moved from his spot on the bed. "That was my first time serving as a medic in the Fourth Division during a Hollow fight. There's special training that new Shinigami have to take to match the criteria for their Division, once they get selected or placed _in_ that Division. It was my first fight because I just finished that training. I - I hope soon I'll get a seated spot so I can take more field assignments like that. I may not be the bravest person, but I like to do what I can."

Naruto listened to the other speak, eyes starting to drift shut a bit ... but he had to admire the strength Hanatarou spoke with. The medic may not have seemed it, but he surely was rather brave in his own unique ways.

"I think you did pretty well for a first time." Toushiro smiled reassuringly at Hanatarou. "I know I was scared shitless, but then again, we're still trainees. But I guess it doesn't matter how long you've been working, a fight is still a fight. I bet even captains get nervous sometimes. I read somewhere about Menos Grandes or something like that, which are huge Hollows, and they apparently can be scary to Vice Captains, at the very least. Some captains are all right with them, but most would get scared."

"Oh! You really know your stuff!" Hanatarou smiled himself, starting to warm up to the conversation. "Hey, you guys should come around the Division more often. Unohana-taichou is the sweetest captain you'll ever meet and she's been talking about you guys a lot. I think she'd be interested in having you guys in her Division, if you guys were willing to learn the healing crafts associated with the demon arts. But it's only a suggestion," he hurried to clarify. "Unohana-sama is really kind and loves to help, so if you two need anything she'd be happy to assist. And me too!" He smiled, leaning back against the wall near Naruto's bed ... missing the wall and tumbling back to the floor.

Naruto jolted back awake, having been dozing off, and snorted when he saw what had happened. "Oi, are you sure he really has to stay with us, teme?"

"Don't be such a prick, I thought that was my job," Toushiro insisted as he stood up and walked over to Hanatarou, holding out a hand to help the other boy stand. "Thanks for the suggestion, but since we're being sought after by Jyuushiro, Shunsui, Kisuke, Isshin and Yoruichi, I think having another captain to deal with will just drive us insane." He laughed slightly. "And how come she thinks highly of us, anyway? The last time I saw her, I was unconscious."

"Well, Unohana doesn't think of it like that!" Hanatarou started, accepting the hand and standing once more. He let go and blushed. "She actually thinks you guys were really brave for actually fighting in that fight instead of standing off on the sidelines and watching others get hurt. She ... makes it seem like us small people ... we can actually do something. I ... I also admire your bravery."

Naruto just grumbled under his breath about not being a prick while snuggling into the covers, listening to the conversation but pretending not to.

"I think your Division is much braver than me or Naruto," Toushiro insisted as he motioned for Hanatarou to follow and sit on his bed. Toushiro plopped down on the bed as well. "I mean, we know how to fight to a certain extent, and we didn't want to just watch people die. Your Division can't really fight at all, but you guys still risk your lives to save other people. I think you're much braver than we are."

Hanatarou took a tentative seat on the bed beside Toushiro, not one to decline an invitation to sit. He was much too polite. "We're not ... not that brave. We're always getting picked one by the Eleventh Division ... and no one really likes us. They all think we're inferior," he explained, a bit wistful and sad. "I really wish I could fight like you guys ... but my sword, my skills ... they're not made for that."

Toushiro shrugged. "Forget the Eleventh Division. I don't think they realize that without your division, they'd be in trouble. They might pick on you and make fun of you, but I'm sure that deep down, they actually appreciate the help you give them. You're important. Without you, _idiots_ like Naruto …" He paused and turned to Naruto. "You're an idiot," he said before turning back to Hanatarou and continuing, "would be dead."

"Yeah ... but you haven't met these guys. They ... they really just don't care." Hanatarou tried to refrain from stumbling over his words, but sometimes it just didn't work. "I mean, Kenpachi-sama is the most bloodthirsty guy around and his Shinigami aren't much better. If you ever see them coming ... I suggest you run the other way. You really, really don't want to mess with them."

Naruto 'tched' under his blankets. _I bet this Kenpachi fellow's just a stupid bastard who doesn't know a lick about real fighting if he has to pick on little people just to feel big. Don't like him already._

"Good to know," Toushiro muttered, ignoring Naruto. "With everyone we have after us, we don't need more. Not only do we always have to fight, but Urahara and Kurosaki are - " He cut himself off, his eyes widening. "That's it! Naruto, I've got it! I know how we can pay Isshin back for almost killing you!"

**Character Lists:**

_Sarge – Toushiro_

_Avril – Naruto, Hanatarou_


	12. Authors and Their Notes

Authors and their notes: Hi, everyone. Avril here! Sarge and I are surprised at how much attention this story is still getting. Now that things have calmed down in real life, we hope to work on this again. First off, we'll be doing a revamp since some parts have to be re-plotted. We never made an outline, so we have to edit what needs editing after we put our heads together.

A big thank you to anyone willing to stick with this story. We'll try to meet your expectations, so look forward to more Remnants in the future. We have _not_ given this story up for dead, far from it.


End file.
